This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion
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I hate paranoid freakazoids...
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It's not paranoia when they really are out to get you.
I suggest you push her over the edge. Kick her paranoia into over drive. Montambo you should make it a point to talk to her early in the day:
“Good morning, paranoid woman. Is everything all right with your car?”
Paranoid woman “Huh? My car? What makes you think something is wrong with my car?”
“Well, that guy was following pretty close to you this morning; I just figured he was a friend making sure you got all the way to work.”
“Wha… me, someone was following me?”
“Well I thought it was you… Anyway glad to hear your car is alright. Talk to you later!”
Then a few hours later Marie chips in raising the stakes a bit:
“Hey paranoid woman, who is your new assistant?”
“Eh, I don’t have a new assistant.”
“Oh! You naughty girl you, bringing you little boy toy to work… better not let Montambo see, {leaning in close} she likes to kiss, wink wink.”
“Marie! What are you talking about, I don’t have an assistant, or a-a-a-boy TOY!”
“Eh, are you sure? He seemed to be standing pretty close to you earlier… Huh, anyway I have to go.
Perhaps you two could get a few more people in on it. Make a day out of mess’n with her. It will be fun… maybe even orchestrate some kind of mention of her “new man” in a meeting, with a few other people commenting on it!
That made me laugh! I can just see her panicked face! The thing is, she'd never let me just walk away after dropping a paranoia bomb on her. I'd have to look at her stupid ass face until she got to the bottom of it!
Well, if you got her spun up enough she might just black out... Come on Montambo think of the possibilities.
I think I like the label, Donna. It sounds so professional... Recreational Torment.
The lady deleted all of her emails! All it did was have her email address up there at the top of the gmail page. What's she doing on her emails that is so crazy, anyway?
She's not learning fast enough!
I think you have to ask her what kind of inappropriate emails she's got in there that she doesn't want anyone to see.
breath Amanda! CPR yourself to the fridge and start the day right!
oop's I read that as "I'm dying now"Shhh.. it's late, I need to go to sleep.
Too late now if she's deleted everything, but you could have made stuff up at her too... "I can fix it, but it requires saving all your emails in a public folder on the network shared drive" or "sometimes this happens when where's a virus embedded in an email. I ought to be able to fix it, but to do so i'll have to manually go through each of your emails." 
Here you go, Nicky-Wicky! A cuddwy beaw to sweep wif. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...[image error]
I don't know if you did that on purpose, but I am wide awake now... and mildly disturbed.I can fix you e-mails… it will just take some time, and I’ll need a voided check if you have one.
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But I told her that I would look into it and get to it when I could but she stood there with a PANIC face and said, "Well, what should I do?! What should I do?!"
The lady has watched too much Dateline or 20/20. It was like when I worked at a kitchen store and women would come rushing in after Dateline told them that they were getting Alzheimers from their forks.
I have no patience for paranoia!
Finally, I said, "Well, there's nothing you can do, Tracy, because you don't know how to fix it and I don't have time to look into it right now, but you don't have to worry because nobody is going to log into that computer, see your email address and go crazy."
She didn't like that. She's batshit!