Chicks On Lit discussion
Archive 08-19 GR Discussions
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Questions for Chapters 13-24
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Linda's breast cancer and Ally's fertility issues cause them each to doubt their femininity and leave their friends at a loss for how to help them. Have you or a friend ever been through a smiliar crises that tested you in this way? If so...what helped you hold onto your sense of self and how did your friends affect the experience? I can relate to their sense of femininity. I had a complete hysterectomy and ovaries removed. It was weird for me going through the surgery because I would never be able to have another child because my parts were gone. I went through a grieving process and some mild depression in regards to this. It wasn't that I was planning on having another child but I wanted that to be my option not because I was missing parts, if you know what I mean. Well the biggest kicker was going to the doctor (ob/gyn) for my 6 week checkup and she said to me that now that I have had this done I don't need a gyn anymore. I almost freaked out. I have gotten over it emotionally but that was the hardest thing for me in dealing with my femininity. It took a long time to deal with this which makes me very sensitive to women and their feminine problems. I got over this solo, but if I had been part of this goodreads group which offers so much support or a Wednesday Sister it would have been a lot easier to deal with.
In what ways were race and class brought up in the book? How did that make you feel? I felt really badly for Alli and her husband. First she had such a hard time starting a family. They had both sets of families against them Then society against them because they were a mixed race couple. It broke my heart to read the prejudices of uncaring people. We have come a long way in that area. I know there are still people who are cruel in regards to this but it seems to have lessened since the 60's, at least in the North and some of the places I visit in the South. I hate prejudice and bigotry in general.
1. The Wednesday Sisters' friendships are complex, constantly evolving, and occasionally even messy! Yet as their bonds are tested, the group endures and grows stronger. Does this circle of friends ring true to you? Are their friendships similar to your own friendships? Yes the circle of friends rings true for me but I don't have this in my own life. I haven't had a "circle" of friends since high school. I have many many friends and truly 8 best friends but none of them are friends with the others. I met them all at different times in my life and they are all extremely different people. They represent ALL of the parts of me and I need them all for different things in my life. When I'm wanting to go out and be crazy I call Jill, when I need a solid rock to lean on I call Brooke, when I need a great conversation and someone who is passionate about their beliefs I call Kim, etc. etc.
2. Linda's breast cancer and Ally's fertility issues cause them each to doubt their femininity and leave their friends at a loss for how to help them. Have you or a friend ever been through a smiliar crises that tested you in this way? If so...what helped you hold onto your sense of self and how did your friends affect the experience?
I honestly have not and I don't know anyone who has except for in the past after I'd met them. I do know women who have had to go through losing an ovary or their uterus or a breast and feel as if they aren't women anymore but after the fact.
3. At the beginning of Chapter 13, the Wednesday Sisters gather in a funeral parlor and imagine what they can accomplish in their lives that will not end with them when they die. Did this make you think about your own life in a new light? What about motherhood?
When I had my heart attack and was told the next day by my surgeon that I should have died that night and may still (at the time my outlook was not good) it was extremely eye opening for me. I had never questioned my life before and how long I would be here....I was 29..."invincible". But when you are told that by a very serious man who is not at all amused by your attempts at lightening up the situation its very sobering. You start re-thinking alot of things you thought were important in life and now realize just aren't. Work, arguments, stress, things like that don't matter anymore and you want to live your life for you. Because of my health now and all that has happened to me I can't have a child anymore and I can't adopt. I can't care for a child with my health on an every day basis and so at this point in my life I've had to come to terms with that. That was hard. The hardest thing for me to deal with about my health I think. The loss of that dream.....
4. In addition to exploring the empowerment of women and the prevalence of sexism during that time, the book has also addressed other social issues. In what ways were race and class brought up in the book? How did that make you feel?
Race was discussed in Ally's relationship with her husband and class with Kath and her lifestyle and Frankie and how she never went to college. I can't stand prejudice of any kind and so it really made me angry when the girls either spoke outright about Jim or didnt stick up for him and said nothing when the others expressed their displeasure. I hate that. Saying nothing is just as bad as saying something when it comes to racial prejudices in my opinion. I will say I've fit into all class structures in my lifetime and I have never judged someone because they had too little and I never idolized someone who had too much. Everyone is the same to me....no one is any better than anyone else regardless of what car they drive. Period.
5. Why do you think Brett hides behind her "quotes"? The novel alludes to sibling rivalry feelings with her sister and guilt towards her brother....have you experienced this with your siblings or your friends even?
I don't know why she does this. Its odd though. I was hoping someone would have some thoughts on this!! LOL I have not ever experienced rivalry with my brother as we created an environment for each other where we always made sure the other had what they needed or wanted. Even now...my brother wants to get a new truck but knows I desperately need a new car so he's waiting to get his truck when i get a car. We've been that way forever....
6. The women join a peace march in San Francisco against the Vietnam War. Have you ever felt that strongly about something (for or against) that it compelled you to want to stand up for it to try to make a difference?
I can honestly say i have but have never known of an opportunity to march somewhere or protest. Seems as if I never lived in a town where I could do that. I guess I could have just stood on the street corner and shouted my thoughts...but I'm not that zealous!!
7. Most of the women seem to be living with secrets about their lives (an affair, an illness, guilt, a non-white spouse and fertility problems, never having gone to college) and its shocking to the others when they are revealed. Do you feel in today's world we must keep these issues secret still or have we evolved enough as a society to not have to do that anymore?
In my life...in my world....I don't have to keep anything secret and neither does anyone around me. That's how I feel anyway. I know in some families still and in some parts of the world these things are not discussed and i think that is unfortunate. So much could be solved if it were just dealt with openly and honestly. The world would be a much better place :)
8. The house across the street is still prevalent in the story....who do you think goes in there at night?
This house in this book drives me nuts! Haunted...not haunted....who the hell goes in there?? I have no clue!!
1. The Wednesday Sisters' friendships are complex, constantly evolving, and occasionally even messy! Yet as their bonds are tested, the group endures and grows stronger. Does this circle of friends ring true to you? Are their friendships similar to your own friendships? I think that is the way it should work in a "circle" of friends, but most of my friends don't know each other well, so we don't get together as a group.
2. Linda's breast cancer and Ally's fertility issues cause them each to doubt their femininity and leave their friends at a loss for how to help them. Have you or a friend ever been through a smiliar crises that tested you in this way? If so...what helped you hold onto your sense of self and how did your friends affect the experience?
I've never experienced this personally.
3. At the beginning of Chapter 13, the Wednesday Sisters gather in a funeral parlor and imagine what they can accomplish in their lives that will not end with them when they die. Did this make you think about your own life in a new light? What about motherhood?
Yes, that visual inside the casket was very strong. I think all we really are is the legacy we leave, but I don't think we have to be parents to leave a legacy. I think friends and siblings can leave a legacy as well. Also, you can be a parent if you adopt a homeless animal, and so that leaves its own special kind of legacy. Everything we do touches the world, leaving it forever changed, hopefully for the better.
4. In addition to exploring the empowerment of women and the prevalence of sexism during that time, the book has also addressed other social issues. In what ways were race and class brought up in the book? How did that make you feel?
It just made me realize how far we've come. So many times the book brought up issues that made me say "What?" because I wasn't aware of the history, so it was enlightening in that way for me.
5. Why do you think Brett hides behind her "quotes"? The novel alludes to sibling rivalry feelings with her sister and guilt towards her brother....have you experienced this with your siblings or your friends even?
I guess that it's a defense mechanism for Brett. I have lots of brothers & sisters, but I've never really experienced sibling rivalry other than when we were living at home together, and the bickering that comes up w/that. We all get along pretty well for the most part.
6. The women join a peace march in San Francisco against the Vietnam War. Have you ever felt that strongly about something (for or against) that it compelled you to want to stand up for it to try to make a difference?
Not in terms of marching, but domestic violence and child abuse are both causes I've helped with in the past, and would like to again.
7. Most of the women seem to be living with secrets about their lives (an affair, an illness, guilt, a non-white spouse and fertility problems, never having gone to college) and its shocking to the others when they are revealed. Do you feel in today's world we must keep these issues secret still or have we evolved enough as a society to not have to do that anymore?
I think lots of things are more "out there" than they used to be, and in lots of ways that's good, but I wish some things were treated with more privacy and respect than they are in today's world. For example, I think there's way too much sex just for the sake of it in today's TV and movies, which may be okay for adults, but I think it makes it much harder for kids, esp. young women, to grow up without thinking of themselves as some kind of sexual object. I'd like to see us more advanced there.
8. The house across the street is still prevalent in the story....who do you think goes in there at night?
No clue, I keep thinking that it may be one of the Sisters.
Great questions, Holli - how do you think of these?
Laura....they are questions I thought of as I read the book :) I'm going back now and skimming the chapters that I need to post the questions for and thinking to myself "what did I think or want to know when I read that particular passage?" I'm not sure everyone is liking the book discussion being led this way though because not many seem to be answering the questions. Too many questions each week maybe?? :)
I've never read a book with a group, so I have no idea how it's usually done. Maybe we should start a thread so everyone can put in their two cents as to how we should discuss? Or has this been done here before? The thing you have to be careful of is spoilers, which is why I think this way of doing it is good, but I'm open to whatever...
Well the spoilers was the #1 reason we started doing it this way for the first time but I'm not sure if everyone is so keen on it. I don't know.....any thoughts you guys??
I am having trouble with it being broken up this way. There is so much I want to say but then I am afraid it happened after these chapters and I am giving something away.
I'm new here and have not read this book so I'm not taking part in the discussion part. However, the format for this I think is excellent. My son's literature class at school does this and they are not allowed to read any further in the book, that way your discussions are really what you are feeling as you read the book and where you think the story is taking you, and how the charactes are developing. Also, there is no danger in revealing any spoilers. So, if the group is going to read it together...it should be read together.Just my thoughts.
I absolutely agree Kim and that is what I thought it would be like when I first joined Chicks on Lit. I had never been part of a group read before but I imagined we would all read it together and at the same pace. I quickly found out that everyone in the group went at their own pace and then halfway thru the month the leader posted all the questions for the book and we just randomly answered them as we read. I like more structure myself so thought I would try it this way but for the people who read ahead that doesn't work for them as Meg said up above.So........ maybe I'll talk to Tera about this. :)
. The Wednesday Sisters' friendships are complex, constantly evolving, and occasionally even messy! Yet as their bonds are tested, the group endures and grows stronger. Does this circle of friends ring true to you? Are their friendships similar to your own friendships? Yes/No—It takes me while to form a bond with people. I have 2 friends, from a previous job that I met and we have remained friends over the last 7 years. We longer work at them same place, but we still stay in contact. We celebrate birthdays, holidays and big accomplishments and talk phone, IM, e-mail or text once a week. All my other friends are separate and I have known them for over 25 years. I also talk to this group the same way. I have met new people along the way but are just acquiesces not true ‘friendships’.
2. Linda's breast cancer and Ally's fertility issues cause them each to doubt their femininity and leave their friends at a loss for how to help them. Have you or a friend ever been through a similar crises that tested you in this way? If so...what helped you hold onto your sense of self and how did your friends affect the experience?
My mother had her breasts reduce and through a couple mammograms there were lumps, but that was from scar tissue.
I have a friend who had difficulty getting pregnant. She had three miscarriages in the last couple of years. Her most recent miscarriage in January of this year with twins. She found out recently that she is pregnant and her due date is March 2009.
3. At the beginning of Chapter 13, the Wednesday Sisters gather in a funeral parlor and imagine what they can accomplish in their lives that will not end with them when they die. Did this make you think about your own life in a new light? What about motherhood?
4. In addition to exploring the empowerment of women and the prevalence of sexism during that time, the book has also addressed other social issues. In what ways were race and class brought up in the book? How did that make you feel?
For sure with Ally’s husband being from India. Also with Kath’s husband leaving. Not sure how I felt, but I thought it was interesting since that time period it was so unheard of. I guess for me, I think about the 1960’s (I know there was Woodstock), but I still think of that era being so wholesome.
5. Why do you think Brett hides behind her "quotes"? The novel alludes to sibling rivalry feelings with her sister and guilt towards her brother....have you experienced this with your siblings or your friends even?
6. The women join a peace march in San Francisco against the Vietnam War. Have you ever felt that strongly about something (for or against) that it compelled you to want to stand up for it to try to make a difference?
7. Most of the women seem to be living with secrets about their lives (an affair, an illness, guilt, a non-white spouse and fertility problems, never having gone to college) and it’s shocking to the others when they are revealed. Do you feel in today's world we must keep these issues secret still or have we evolved enough as a society to not have to do that anymore?
8. The house across the street is still prevalent in the story....who do you think goes in there at night?
Unsure. Wondering if one of the sisters goes there.
2. Linda's breast cancer and Ally's fertility issues cause them each to doubt their femininity and leave their friends at a loss for how to help them. Have you or a friend ever been through a smiliar crises that tested you in this way? If so...what helped you hold onto your sense of self and how did your friends affect the experience?
3. At the beginning of Chapter 13, the Wednesday Sisters gather in a funeral parlor and imagine what they can accomplish in their lives that will not end with them when they die. Did this make you think about your own life in a new light? What about motherhood?
4. In addition to exploring the empowerment of women and the prevalence of sexism during that time, the book has also addressed other social issues. In what ways were race and class brought up in the book? How did that make you feel?
5. Why do you think Brett hides behind her "quotes"? The novel alludes to sibling rivalry feelings with her sister and guilt towards her brother....have you experienced this with your siblings or your friends even?
6. The women join a peace march in San Francisco against the Vietnam War. Have you ever felt that strongly about something (for or against) that it compelled you to want to stand up for it to try to make a difference?
7. Most of the women seem to be living with secrets about their lives (an affair, an illness, guilt, a non-white spouse and fertility problems, never having gone to college) and its shocking to the others when they are revealed. Do you feel in today's world we must keep these issues secret still or have we evolved enough as a society to not have to do that anymore?
8. The house across the street is still prevalent in the story....who do you think goes in there at night?