Young Writers discussion
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Make fun of my old writing.
Hannah wrote: "I used to think "damp" was a synonym for dark, so I once wrote this:"The room was so damp I could barely see."
xD"
The mildew must have been growing fast on you're eyes. Now that's damp.
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I pushed away from the fingers that were covering my face and ran as far away from the noise as I could. The dark was so complete that I couldn't have seen my hand if it was only half an inch away from my eyes. My leg slammed with considerable force into a small table we had, almost causing me to fall over. I took no notice of the pain, as I was in such a state of panic that it refused to register. I had to find something, anything, to keep me away from that thing. I ran directly into it.
It grasped me tightly around the chest, and held me. My face must have been up against it's, for I could feel it's hot breath. I heard a nearly inaudible growl, and I knew it was preparing to scream again. I was sure that I was going to die. Some evil monster had captured me, and it was going to eat me. I was positive. The screaming began again. I couldn't stand that noise anymore, it was like a thousand needles entering my brain. Only moments before I completely lost it, the sound of a door opening made its way to me. A bright flash entered the room.
That was me two years ago! I got a 45 percent on that! It was one of the first things I wrote when I started thinking that writing was pretty neat stuff!
You got an F? For that?? I don't believe you.
The idea is awesome and intense, but there is grammatical errors. (And I probably just made a grammar mistake in that last sentence....)
Here's one of my diary pages from when I was in first grade.Dear diary,
My brother Myles can be very mean. I'm watching him play basketball and he won't let me play because I'm sick. He's so unsmart (Me now: Yes, I actually put down unsmart).
(Next entry.)
Dear diary,
Myles just gave me his chocolate bar! I love him so much!
Oh, what tangled webs we weave.
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Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
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A 45? Dude, that's ridiculous! I like it ...
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Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
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These French people marched into town and said this to everybody “ADIDIDIDIDIDI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
They’re really rude. OMG. That’s why I like want to put it in here. They said, “Ju stoopid am-ee-ri-cans! We speet on you! PTOOEY!”
Yeah. They spit on you when they’re mad and when they shush you they actually spit on you. That is so gross! It’s dumb! Yeah french people are stupid. This chapter is so racist!!!!! They’re so ridiculous. Never go to France, or they’ll spit on your face and be rude! They don’t let you in a restaurant unless your twenty or older! What’s up with that? Huh? That’s messed up that’s stupid all people should be able to go into restaurants! I mean, they let dogs in but not kids! How idiotic! They respect dogs more than they respect human kids!!! That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard! Like yeah, I mean yeah, I mean yeah! Okay. Yah. Let’s get on with the story.
They’re so brat-like. French people are brats. I beg you to never go anywhere in France! I dare you to go there! And you’ll hate it! I know you’ll hate it! So like I said before, yeah, they’ll let the dogs in so they’ll go bathroom all over the tables and chairs and on the people, and everywhere! EEEEEEEEEEEEW! They’ll even pee in your food! YUCK! And plus you have to eat like snails and stuff in France! And you can get food poisoning. And you have to eat where dogs can’t pee on your food. And I know this person who told me that she ate this sausage in France and the next day her stomach swelled up and she looked like she was pregnant from the food poisoning and the dogs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know you hate France so don’t ever go there! Well, yeah, go in the restaurant and see all the dogs peeing on the food! YUCK! BLECH! GROSS! DISGUSTING! APPALLING! EEW! NASTY! INSULTING! UNBELIEVABLE! DISGUSTING AS HECK! ICKY! You get the point. Don’t you?
Well, ha! Don’t go to France. Don’t read this stupid chapter because it’s dumb and I’ve never been to France anyway so how would I know? Well, don’t go to France. Get it? My friend went to France and said it was really bad. The restaurants were disgusting, she says. My parents liked France! They went there on their honeymoon and ate french toast for breakfast every day! WARNING: BEWARE OF A LADY WITH RED HAIR THAT’S STRAIGHT AND POOFS OUT IN CURLS SHE WEARS BIG MOVIE-STAR SUNGLASSES AND A BLACK PURSE AND LONG FINGERNAILS GROSS! SHE SHUSHES EVERYBODY! SHE’S RIDICULOUS AND RUDE! BYE THERE’S YER WARNING! BYE THAT’S IT YOU GOT YOUR WARNING. IF YA WANNA GO TO FRANCE, TALK TO ME AND I WILL SAY “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! DON’T EVER GO THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAUSE I SAID BEFORE THAT FRENCH PEOPLE ARE RIDICULOUS BRATS, AND THEY DON’T HAVE BRAINS THEY JUST HAVE MINDS OF THEIR OWN!”
♥ Brigid ♥ wrote: "Hmmm I found another Happy Raisin chapter which makes no sense. I believe I co-wrote it with the 9-year-old girl I was babysitting. XD These French people marched into town and said this to ever..."
...........
O___e
I don't even know what to say to that
Man, I must have been a really boring child, because my journal and old writing is boring...
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These French people marched into town and said this to ever..."
But... but... I wanna go to France. D:
I remember the first book I ever finished was in seventh grade, and it was about seventy five pages long, but it was HORRIBLE! I think I even knew that at the time...I wonder if I still have that anywhere...*searches*
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Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
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message 116:
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Well, he said to himself eventually, if I can escape a hungry cat, and then a hungry dog, then I can survive walking through a silly old forest!
So, skipping and singing, he entered the dark woods.
He skipped and sang happily for a long time, until he came to a river. “Rats!” he grumbled, “I came all this way, and now I come to a river, and I can’t get across. I skipped all this time for nothing!”
He was in no hurry to turn back. He was tired from skipping and singing all the way there, so he sat down and stared at the rushing water. He was unaware that someone was watching him.
He was being watched by a fox. The fox’s eyes glinted mischievously as they stared at the gingerbread man. The fox was hungry. And he had an idea of how he could eat that little gingerbread man--and the little gingerbread man would not suspect a thing.
He crept out of his hiding place in the bushes, and calmly approached the gingerbread man, his stomach rumbling.
He cleared his throat. “Good evening,” he said.
The gingerbread man looked up. “Thank you very much, but it really isn’t a very good evening at all.”
“Oh?”
“I skipped and sang all the way through this forest, and now I come to this river, and I can’t get across. And I’m too tired to turn around and walk all the way back.”
“I see...” said the fox.
There was a brief silence.
“I could help you get across,” he said.
“Would you?” the gingerbread man cried, jumping up, his sugary eyes glittering.
“Of course,” the fox said. “Just hop onto my back and I’ll swim you across.”
Without a moment of hesitation, the gingerbread man leaped onto the fox’s back, and the fox plunged into the icy river.
About a quarter of the way across, he purposely sank a little deeper into the water.
“Oh dear!” screamed the gingerbread man. “My feet are getting wet!”
“It’s all right,” the fox said as sweetly as he could manage. “Climb onto my head.”
So the gingerbread man did.
About halfway across the river, the fox sunk his head a little into the water.
“Eeeeeek!” screamed the gingerbread man. “My feet are getting wet!”
“Climb onto my nose, then,” said the fox.
So the gingerbread man did.
They were almost across now. The fox could smell the gingerbread man’s sugary smell. His mouth watered. He smiled a wicked smile, his teeth ready to snap and chew.
But then, the gingerbread man said, “Would you like me to sing you a song, in return for your lovely favor?”
“No thank you,” the fox grumbled, “I would have trouble concentrating.”
But the gingerbread man could not hear the fox over the roar of the river, so he assumed that the fox had accepted his offer.
“TRA LA LA LA LA!”
“AAAAAAUG!” the fox screamed. He tried to snap at the gingerbread man, but the gingerbread man jumped off of the fox’s head just in time, and landed on the bank of the river.
“Bye-bye!” he cried, running off into the woods.
“Darn,” the fox groaned.
Eventually, the gingerbread man ran all the way to Hollywood. He got singing lessons, became a somewhat better singer, made it to “American Idol”, won 20th place, and was very happy with himself. No one ever ate him.
I love how 7 paragraphs begin with the word 'he'.<3
Lol.
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Shreya=Drastically Random. Find the emoticon.
(last edited Apr 23, 2011 09:48AM)
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I love that story. Smart little gingerbread man XDUh oh. I found the story from grade 1. Dun dun dunn.
Once upon a time there was a house. And in that house lived a big family. In that family there were a lot of kids. One day, their parents said to some of the kids, “You must go to the jungle and work.” So the kids went off, and starting working. Then they met a dragon. “Hello”, said Zoey, the little girl. “What are you doing here?” asked Sam, the little boy. “I am looking for food,” said the dragon.
The kids were scared when they heard this. “You look scared”, said the dragon. “That’s because you are a big dragon”, said Zoey, shivering. The dragon nodded his head. “I know that”, he said. “But I’m a good dragon, not a bad dragon!” The kids didn’t look too scared anymore. “Would you like a ride?” asked the dragon. “Of course”, shouted the kids. “Climb on my back,” said the dragon. So the kids climbed on the dragon’s back and off he went.
“Wheee!” cried Zoey, “This is really fun!” “Faster,” shouted Sam. The dragon flew faster. He flew and flew until they came to a beautiful forest. “This is where we are going to live.” “Great idea,” said Sam. “Yes,” said Zoe and the others. Then they all sat down and had some supper to warm themselves up.
But that night the kids could not find the dragon. “Where is he?” asked Jessica, another little girl. “He might have gone looking for food,” said a little boy named Jack. “We must hide,” cried Jessica. All the kids ran and hid in the bushes because there were dangerous animals in the forest. But when no one was looking Sam went out looking for the dragon.
It was getting dark and Sam couldn’t see that well. But he kept going and going and going and going. At last he came to a store. He peeked through the window but he couldn’t see anything. So he went off. Suddenly he heard someone calling his name. “Sam! Sam!” It was the dragon. He jumped and put Sam on his back. “Let’s go home,” he said. “What do have in your hands?” asked Sam. “Presents, books, food,” said the dragon. Then they came home. The children were glad to see the dragon. Then they saw Sam. “Oh, Sam, you’re a hero, you found the dragon,” and they gave him a BIG hug.
Sam bowed to all of them. “Thank you,” he said. Then they opened all of the presents. How nice they were! There were games and puzzles and books and crayons and lots of things. The dragon and the kids had great fun. Suddenly when they looked back, they saw their parents waving at them. “My darlings!” they cried. Everybody hugged and kissed each other. “Want to live with us?” asked Zoey. “Sure,” said the dragon.
Now they all lived happily ever after with the dragon!
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Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
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That was a totally wonderful story. :D
XD Thank you. I so see my six year old self in there, wanting all happy endings, all perfect characters, all nice plots. o_____O
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Autumny Autumn wrote: "Ooo, ooo, I still have something online! I can't take it down because if random people comment or like it I inbox spam them with shameless advertisement of When It Rains. I'm not even sure where I ..."DUDE I LOVED THAT STORY =(
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Buzz and Kat
Once there was a bee. He was known as Tom Buzz. Now, Tom was a great bee who was in love with a cat. And we all know that won't work. One day Tom went to see this cat. As they made small talk, Tom fell and stung the cat. This hurt the cat like a bag of sharp nails that fell from the fifth floor of a house and went straight through her gut. Kat (the cat) ran back and forth and bleed like a man in a fear flick. Tom was, of course, stuck to Kat's skin. As the cat ran Tom was flung left and right and hit his head each time. At last Tom had had it.
"STOP!!" he cried.
Kat stood still. With care, Tom got out of Kat and rose up. As mad as he was at Kat, he said, "My bad," since it was his fault. And the two had a great life full of fun.... Save the time Kat ate Tom.
Fin-
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I wish I was a dolphin. That would be awesome. Not only would I be a genius, but I’d be able to speak dolphin talk.
“Eeekekekekkke” ekkeekeke
EkkkekekeKKKEEEEkekeke keekekeke. Ekekekeke ekeke ekeke ekek eke keekekekekekkk eee mkekekek eieikekekeikekeiik ekeikeeeee ekeiiiiiiiii eekkkekkekkkekeke
“EkkEEkKE” ekkekeke
“EkKEKeKEKE”
eKEKEee
All books should be written in dolphin.
Dolphins are awesome.
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Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
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Baxter wrote: "More of that classic Baxter prose. This is touching tale is called "I wish I was a Dolphin".I wish I was a dolphin. That would be awesome. Not only would I be a genius, but I’d be able to speak..."
Great, Baxter. Thanks. Now you're giving me an inferiority complex.
Baxter wrote: "Here's a great little tale I dug in from my closet. It's dated April 11, 2007, and I guess I was supposed to use only one syllable words. Behold my greatness, spelling errors and all!Buzz and Kat..."
Lovely.
And not actually that bad.
I have a story, but it's on the family computer. For now, enjoy this story I HAD to write for fourth grade, complete with verb-tense switching, constant repeating and just plain cheesiness-- all unedited! (By the way, I had EXTREMELY bad handwriting that's only gotten a tad bit better, so some of the mistakes were just how my handwriting made it look):Frog Friend
Makayla was walking through the rain forest, trying to find medicne for Mark, her brother that was very sick.
A nine-year-old girl trying to save her very sick eleven-year-old brother with her mom and dad. And she has to go by herself in the middle of the rain forest, trying to get medicine. You have to have a lot of courage to do that.
She looked around. Rain had just hit a moment ago, and she's just now drying out. As she turned the corner, she screamed.
In front of hir was a boa constricter! She started to pick up rocks, and throwing them at the boa contrictor. 20 minuets later, he dropped, dead. Tears wire rolling down her cheeks.
Why me? she thought. As she took her next step, her legs were weah. They were shahing like jelly. She was paralyzed with fear.
A red-eyed tree-fog was hopping by and saw her. He hopped down. He landed on her shoulder. He flashed his red eyes. It scared Makayla so bad, she fell down.
The frog said, "Do not be afraid. I came to confort you." Makayla, shaking with fear replied, "Th-Thank you very much but w-w-why?"
The frog's frown of concern turned into a smile you would give a best friend and replied, "I was hoping by when I saw flying rocks. I looked down ad saw a dead snake and you, trying to walh." Makayla was amazed. "Oh-- I almost forgot. Here you go." He pulled out a magical leaf and gave it to her. "For your borther," he said, and he hopped away.
Makayla was shocked. But she turned and walked away. ***
Makayla and her family was outside. Mark was smileing. She told her famliy about the frog, but they said it was a great story. (They also didn't believe the frog was real.) But then, the frog hopped back.
"Guys! Look! The frog!" Makayla yelled. "Bye!" said the frog. "He said ribbit," Mark said.
Makayla's smile turned upside-down. She turned around. The frog was gone.
"Good bye," she wisphered. Thn her family wint inside with Makayla following.
"I'll see you later," Makayla said, as she sat down for lunch.
The End
...And this was the time I thought my writing was good. e_O
♥ Brigid ♥ wrote: "Yes, all my stories were quite similar at that age also. Basically everyone would become a princess at the end. XD"You sound like me XD
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Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives], Butts butts
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![Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives] (mariachhile) | 8772 comments](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1322709957p1/2412416.jpg)
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I wish I was a dolphin. That would be awesome. Not only would I be a genius, but I’d be able to speak..."
XD
This link that I'm going to post are entries from my second grade journal. I'm still posting more entries, so look for some more stupidity!:http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...
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Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
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http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...-..."
HAHA! I got much laughter out of reading that. :D
That reminds me, I got my permanent records today ... everything from kindergarten through high school. SO WEIRD. There's some pretty strange stuff in there. For some reason there's all this weird crap in my elementary school folder––mostly weird essays/stories I wrote. I'll have to type some of it up later when I'm not so tired/lazy. :P
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Rebekka (hmm, yes) wrote: "Emily the Zepik [Mrs. Han Solo] wrote: "This link that I'm going to post are entries from my second grade journal. I'm still posting more entries, so look for some more stupidity!:http://www.g..."
I was a logical second grader.
Sorry.
OH MY GOSH I AM TOTALLY POSTING OLD JOURNAL ENTRIES.
THE BEGINNING OF MY DIARY [I knew nothing of paragraphs then, so I'm posting it as a large lump. XD]
My name is [Maxy]. I love to play with my friends. I love my friends a lot more when they are nice to me. I like to make new friends. I love to read books. I love my family's. I love to play with my toys. I love animals. My family's are nice to me. I love to write because it is fun. I love to draw because it is fun. I want to be a figure skater when I grow up. [I wish you could see how crooked my writing was.] I have two pets. And I have two pets because my brother's friend had a dog who needed more attention. I already had a cat a long time before that day. I have had three cats and two dogs in my life. I think that is a lot of pets. I am six and I am almost seven. My birthday is April twenty-seventh in the spring season. I am very excited for my seventh birthday. Yesterday I played with my friend. His name is Talmage. I love him. He is very good to me. I love to play with him because he is nice to me. He is one of my best friends. Right now I have something called polymorphous light eruption [I remember asking my mom how to spell this--it's those red blotches you get on your skin from being in the sun sometimes.] Once you get it it is very painful. [I think my mom said that to me and I copied it exactly.] It is very itchy too! If you get it twice it is even worse than ever. [Okay, random Little Maxy. Thank you for telling us this.]
Dear Diary, my day is not going well. Only six people came to my club and ten were supost to come. everyone is giving me to much attention, and I don't like it at all. [?] Many people are bothering me. My friend blake can ride a real two-wheeler and I can't. and he is two years younger than me. It is a bad day for me. What can I do? [Oh, Little Maxy, you can get through this tough time. Don't worry.]
Dear Diary, My mom is being so stupid! She is getting mad just because I want to spend my money on a CD for my teacher Mr. Roach! [Teacher Appreciation Week... good times.] What is the point of having money if you can't spend it? What can I do? [I was such a drama queen, ending all my entries with some desperate plea for help. Man, I haven't changed.]
Dear Diary, Now I am watching a movie called The BFG or The Big Friendly Giant. I am having a good day today! :) Thank you for all your help! :) [Baha.]
[Okay, last one.]
Dear Diary, My mom is being stupid again! She said I can't watch tv just because I didn't behave! What can I do to make her understand? [I just... wow...]
THE BEGINNING OF MY DIARY [I knew nothing of paragraphs then, so I'm posting it as a large lump. XD]
My name is [Maxy]. I love to play with my friends. I love my friends a lot more when they are nice to me. I like to make new friends. I love to read books. I love my family's. I love to play with my toys. I love animals. My family's are nice to me. I love to write because it is fun. I love to draw because it is fun. I want to be a figure skater when I grow up. [I wish you could see how crooked my writing was.] I have two pets. And I have two pets because my brother's friend had a dog who needed more attention. I already had a cat a long time before that day. I have had three cats and two dogs in my life. I think that is a lot of pets. I am six and I am almost seven. My birthday is April twenty-seventh in the spring season. I am very excited for my seventh birthday. Yesterday I played with my friend. His name is Talmage. I love him. He is very good to me. I love to play with him because he is nice to me. He is one of my best friends. Right now I have something called polymorphous light eruption [I remember asking my mom how to spell this--it's those red blotches you get on your skin from being in the sun sometimes.] Once you get it it is very painful. [I think my mom said that to me and I copied it exactly.] It is very itchy too! If you get it twice it is even worse than ever. [Okay, random Little Maxy. Thank you for telling us this.]
Dear Diary, my day is not going well. Only six people came to my club and ten were supost to come. everyone is giving me to much attention, and I don't like it at all. [?] Many people are bothering me. My friend blake can ride a real two-wheeler and I can't. and he is two years younger than me. It is a bad day for me. What can I do? [Oh, Little Maxy, you can get through this tough time. Don't worry.]
Dear Diary, My mom is being so stupid! She is getting mad just because I want to spend my money on a CD for my teacher Mr. Roach! [Teacher Appreciation Week... good times.] What is the point of having money if you can't spend it? What can I do? [I was such a drama queen, ending all my entries with some desperate plea for help. Man, I haven't changed.]
Dear Diary, Now I am watching a movie called The BFG or The Big Friendly Giant. I am having a good day today! :) Thank you for all your help! :) [Baha.]
[Okay, last one.]
Dear Diary, My mom is being stupid again! She said I can't watch tv just because I didn't behave! What can I do to make her understand? [I just... wow...]
Oh my god. I just found a sex scene from before I even knew how sex worked. It's too awful and decidedly dirty to post here.
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That right there. Dang adorable.
My brother's entire third grade diary was filled with, "Mrs Boyd is the best teacher ever. I love you, Mrs. Boyd!" Basically love letters to his teacher. x)But my journal takes the cake.
I mean, 2002 I was like, five. x)
"I saw Peter Pan 2: Return to Neverland. I saw it Today. I went with my mom. I had lots of fun today. I will have lots to write in my jrnol on Monday. It will be fun to write in my jrnol on Monday. Today is Satrday."
It's a shame I went off writing vignettes and short fiction for almost a decade of my life, because if I was this good age five and I'd kept at it, I could be Raymond Carver by now. :P One day i weNt to take the train to AVon. but i diden Have any mony with me & mummY wasent there. what do I do??? i kNow i said and I had an ideea, becos i did have an ideea.
At night i went to the post ofiss and sneaked in I am good at sneak ing. I tooK the choclat coins and the next day I gave them to the ladee for mony for my ticet to avon. she dident notis! so i went to avon. the end
Spelling, punctuation (or lack thereof) are all original.
Thalia wrote: ""I saw Peter Pan 2: Return to Neverland. I saw it Today. I went with my mom. I had lots of fun today. I will have lots to write in my jrnol on Monday. It will be fun to write in my jrnol on Monday...."Haha, that's adorable.
Maxy wrote: "OH MY GOSH I AM TOTALLY POSTING OLD JOURNAL ENTRIES.THE BEGINNING OF MY DIARY [I knew nothing of paragraphs then, so I'm posting it as a large lump. XD]
My name is [Maxy]. I love to play with my..."
I wish problems were still like that. XP
Colby wrote: "Oh my god. I just found a sex scene from before I even knew how sex worked. It's too awful and decidedly dirty to post here."
BUT I MUST READ IT! D:
Oh my, I believe I wrote this when I was five or six. It was a picture book titled 'The Muffled Cry'Ruth Rose was peacefully sleeping when her alarm clock rang.
"Haaa" she said and yawned. "This was not going to be a nice day" she thought.
She was wrong it was a wonderful day!
First they drew. [I'm still not sure who they is]
Next they did comic strips.
And the rest of the day they....danced to the disco!!!
But...sad enough the next day was totally BAD! Except school. [because I was nerd who loved school]
But the next was an adventure!
At recess she and her best friend Lola heard a muffled cry from a distance in the forest.
It was a fairy crying for help because she was stuck in ice!
"Oh poor thing I would like to help it." said Lola and Ruth Rose together.
"I know let's take it somewhere hot so the ice will melt and the fairy will be free." said Ruth Rose.
So that's exactly what they did and so the fairy was free!
But the fairy told them about the witch and she said it was time for revenge!
The fairy's name was Isabella. Isabella thanked them and invited them to come to the revenge. [she makes it sound like a party]
LOOK FOR THE NEXT BOOK....THE REVENGE
I've only written one page of The Revenge tho :P
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Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
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♫Huneeya♥ wrote: "Oh my, I believe I wrote this when I was five or six. It was a picture book titled 'The Muffled Cry'Ruth Rose was peacefully sleeping when her alarm clock rang.
"Haaa" she said and yawned. "This..."
THAT'S HILARIOUS.
This is a hilarious death scene. Heck, the whole story was so cheesy my eyes almost fell out while I was reading it. Here it is:It was night time. Hope was seven months old, and we were sleeping soundly, when there was a loud noise. Fox and I sat up straight. “I’ll go look,” Fox said, running towards out the door.
I ran to Hope and picked her up and started comforting her when I heard a cruel laugh. “Well, well, well,” it started, “look who got married to Fox.”
“Hawk,” I breathed. It turned around to face him. “For your information, Fox is the sheriff and he’s half the man you’ll ever be—maybe even more.”
Hawk just guffawed. “He’s not a man at all!”
I felt fury pound through me. “That’s where you’re WRONG!” That just made him laugh even harder. I gently sat down Hope, and ran at him. He didn’t notice, he was laughing so hard. I jumped on him and started throwing punches.
“You ‘ittle ‘at!” he screamed through his freshly broken nose. He reached over to his gun which landed a little ways from him after I jumped on him and started shooting.
I jumped off of him. “Don’t you’re going to hurt the baby!” I screamed.
He just laughed. “’Ike I ‘eally ‘are,” he snorted.
“No, please don’t,” I sobbed. Hope started crying. I froze. If I ran for Hope, he could shoot me. If I jumped on him again, he could shoot me, too.
Just then I heard another gun shot. Fox ran in with a gun, a serious gleam shining in his beautiful eyes. “Hawk, I knew you would come back,” he answered disgustingly.
Hawk just scowled. “’Ou ‘essed ‘ore’tly,” he scoffed. Fox aimed at Hawk.
“I don’t want to shoot,” Fox told him. Hawk chuckled.
“Well, I do,” he snickered. Then there was a bang as Fox crashed to the floor. I screamed and started sobbing, not believing what I just saw. I ran to Fox’s side.
“Fox, Fox, no, no, don’t leave me here,” I choked out. Fox sputtered and lifted his hand off his chest. It was oozing with bright red blood.
He looked up at me with weak eyes and smiled. “Goodbye. I love you, my dear Annabelle.” He stroked my cheek.
“I love you, Robin Hood,” I whispered back. He smiled. Then he coughed, took his last breath, and closed his eyes.
“NO!” I wailed. Hawk laughed his hardest. Then there was another shot. Hawk had a dazed look, and fell over.
I slowly crawled over. I stared at him for a moment, and rolled him on his back. He was dead. There was a bullet wound in his chest, too. Blood poured out of his nose and his chest. Hawk was right. He said he would get Fox back if it was the last thing he did. And I had also realized I broke his nose for a second time, but I didn’t find it humorous at the moment. I looked over my shoulder. There was a man figure. He froze, and started running out the door. I quickly chased after it. I stopped on the road and looked both sides. But no one was there. I sniffed uncontrollably, and yelled, “I’m forever in your debt!”
I slowly walked back inside and knelt beside Fox. I put my arms on his chest. I didn’t care about the blood circling around my knees or running down my arm. This was my true love. And he was gone. I put my head on his cheek and let the tears roll down. Hope was crying, but I couldn’t move.
I lifted my head back up. He had that faint smile on his face, like he was doing something mischievous. I smiled, kissed him on the cheek, and whispered, “I love you” for the last time to him.
The feeling was overwhelming. I bent down, and thrust my mouth at him. I could imagine that nippy night wind, the moon’s light, his arms wrapped around me. I rubbed my tongue all over his. I had to make this last. He was dead.
I finally backed away, tears running down my face. I wanted to feel the same thing back, but I could never again. “I have a desire too; but sometimes they’re nonsense. But even when they are, you can do the impossible if you believe in it hard enough,” I whispered, remembering his words.
I sat there a little longer, then stood up. I finally noticed Hope crying and felt horrible that I was ignoring her to kiss a dead man. I sighed, remembering all those times with Fox, and Hawk had ruined it. My true love, gone for good.
Then I went to go comfort Hope.
I wish I could post the whole story on here for you guys to laugh at. It was SOOOOO annoying. It was a romance I wrote when I was eleven.
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Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
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I wrote a romance involving squirrels when I was eleven. I should post some of that. It's a classic.
I rescued my first attempt at a novel (from when I was eight) from the loft yesterday. I'll have to type some of it up when I get the chance.
"The room was so damp I could barely see."
xD