The Mystery, Crime, and Thriller Group discussion
Fun & Games
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Five Word Build-a-Story
After leaving AL GORED's company and having a big bowl of DESK LAMP-warmed PURINA CAT CHOW each, our feline friends dosed themselves with cans of RED BULL before setting off for their next adventure. Little Beaker Dude, Yoda-san and Smudge shot RUBBER BANDS to see whose rubber band would go the farthest and would therefore get to be the leader of the next adventure.
"Let's go out to the LANDFILL and tiptoe through the TULIPS under a FULL MOON', said Yoda-san. "Why are you talking like Tiny Tim?" scoffed Smudge whose rubber band went furthest. She got the MAGIC CARPET from the carport and turned off the pilot light on the GAS OVEN for safety's sake. They whisked off toward the garbage dump looking for excitement.
Upon arrival at the landfill, Yoda-san began quoting SHAKESPEARE loudly to encourage the RATS to relocate at least temporarily from the HAM that they were feasting on. Seating themselves on some near by PORCH FURNITURE, our favorite felines compared treasure hunting in the landfill to a FOUR LEAF CLOVER search.
"Don't you hate it when you go off to look for a four leaf clover and all you find is a LEPRECHAUN eating a bowl of LUCKY CHARMS? It's as bad as hoping for a FLOATIE in the water behind the landfill but only finding some stupid SEAGULLS picking over the CORPSE of some ten-day old possum. What a waste of time!" exclaimed Smudge while Yoda-San looked sideways, thinking about something else.
"Let's go over to the Colgate TOOTHPASTE factory and crumble BRILLO PADS into the paste mixer" cried Little Beaker Dude. "....it will play hell with TENDER gums". Yoda-san, after contemplation, sneered, "That would be about as much fun as playing MINIATURE GOLF in RHODE ISLAND. Instead, lets rush over to Exciting Irene's Bar and Grill and look for some trouble to quell."
Of course I recognised him; everyone knew VODKA COLLINS, even with a pair of SCISSORS stuck in his face, one blade in each eye. Blood ran like tear streaked MASCARA down his face in the dim light. I wasn't the first cop on the scene, but I was the first member of the DETECTIVE SQUAD here at the MONEY BOX Club, so I guess I was in charge, whether I wanted to be or not.
At Exciting Irene's Bar and Grill, the rock band LLAMA was holding forth with their hit song "WALNUT OIL Reminds Me Of You". Smudge complained "It is so hot in here, I wish I had brought my JAPANESE FAN. Oh well, I am going to order some LIME JELLO to cool my pipes". At that point, the famous POLITICIAN Al Gored came strolling in clad in plaid pants and a white belt.
A.G. strolled in wearing his tartan trews(pants)took in the surroundings of the bar and saw his reflection in the mirror behind the bar and adjusted his TOUPEE and smiled at the female lead singer of Llama his teeth so perfect so false like Burt Russell's dentures.Behind the bar the waitress was fixing A.G's cocktail ANT POISON he had been drinking this since he was a child in DIAPERS. With his plaid pants flashing his teeth and his toupee he looked a right NERD with his waistcoat tailored from a "Old Glory" FLAG
"Oh dear" snickered Yoda-san..." all he needs are LEATHER KNICKERS, CHELSEA BOOTS and a TEN GALLON HAT to complete that look". Al Gored strutted around the bar, exclaiming "Everybody come outside and see my restored AC COBRA which is worth more than all the DIAMOND MINES in South Africa". The crowd was not impressed.
GUITAR hanging from his back, drinking right out of a glass MILK BOTTLE and towing a GOAT on a leash, our friend Gene of Clan Simmons sidled up to A.G. with a grin and ribbed him that his Cobra was about the size of a POSTAGE STAMP in comparison to Gene's LEMON yellow limo.
FISTICUFFS ensued and soon they were JELLO WRESTLING in Smudge's lime gelatin treat. "I'll knock your KNEECAPS up so high you will look like DOLLY PARTON and sound like DONNY OSMAND on helium" growled Gene, pulling off AG's toupee and slapping out his dentures. Suddenly, there was the sound of sirens approaching the bar.
INSPECTOR YERBUSTED entered, followed by medics with a GREENPEACE decal on a portable OXYGEN TANK and the rest of the medical supplies. "Al, I see you've been to the PLASTIC SURGEON again, your facial skin is looking tight," commented the observant inspector, "You're looking more and more like Dolly Donny all the time, now if he could just help you produce a HIT RECORD, you could roll around in your dough instead of jello!"
"BOTOX ? Are you accusing me of using artificial enhancers on my already fantastic looks?" shouted Al. Thinking that maybe he did look like Dolly Parton in 9-5, he stripped down to his TIGHTY WHITIES and began singing PUPPY LOVE. "Hmmmm" mused Gene as he watched AG, "that might be a new gig for me. I could wear a skirt fashioned from BANANAS, like Josephine Baker and throw MILK DUDS to the crowd, kinda' like Elvis with his scarves".
"Or, you could take up FANTASY FOOTBALL and THUMB your way through the CODE BOOK like the quarterbacks, or row your way across the Atlantic on your ROWING MACHINE, or start slashing away at the bad guys with your battery-operated Star Warts Light SABER, you silly goof - your hair spray must have frozen your brain!" cried our sarcastic Ferocious Felines, popping in to provide their two cents.
"Speaking of hair spray", chimed in Gene.." it gives you that HELMET HAIR effect that couldn't be combed with a CAN OPENER. Besides you smell suspiciously of CHICKEN OF THE SEA tuna". "What? " screamed Little Beaker Dude..."did you steal our food when you were at our house watching the LILY TOMLIN compilation DVD and sniffing CATNIP?". Al Gored looked nonplussed.
And speaking of helmet hair, at that moment, who should enter but the winner of the 2012 JOHN TRAVOLTA look-alike contest, in a sparkly polyester LEISURE SUIT, trailed by THE GEEBEES, each sipping a blue GATORADE. The sounds of the taps on their platform shoes echoed like CASTANETS at a fiesta.
With the smell of hair POMADE filling the air, Al adjusted his CHEST TOUPEE and did a couple of DEVO jerky dance steps. Disgusted, the Ferocious Felines, who were looking for a CRIME to SOLVE left this pathetic group and headed for town and new adventures.
Entering a near by Golden Gloves GYM, our Ferocious Felines espy a CORPSE sporting BOXING GLOVES, with a bloody SILK SCARF over the head and a cellulited torso looking like COTTAGE CHEESE with ketchup. "EWWWW!", cried our felines with delight, "this looks like a case for us!"
"I'll LICK anybody in this joint who disturbs the crime scene" warned Yoda-an..."and order me some FRENCH FRIES while I stand on my little MONKEY TOES and cogitate on this problem" "Ya' know" ventured LBD.."this guy looks a lot like ANDREW ZIMMER of bizarre food fame". Just then, with the smell of cheap booze wafting around her, BRITNEY SPEARS strolled in and screamed "Andrew, my precious" and promptly fainted.
Smudge took one look at BSpears and commented "She must have escaped REHAB....well, we could use her as a DOORSTOP, or I could shove HEARTS OF PALM up her NOSTRILS and see if she inflates...or maybe we could amuse ourselves by checking her over for misspelled and obnoxious INVISIBLE INK tattoos, eh?"
After the hearts of palm treatment, BSpears, looking like a BLOWFISH roused herself and immediately asked for a HAPPY MEAL. "Got the muchies?" laughed LBD, staring at BSpears' NAVAL RING and PEROXIDE hair and wondering why she was so popular. "I hear that you have been dating MIKE TYSON while in rehab" said LBD, ducking as Spear threw her best punch.
The gym CEILING FAN pushed the sweaty air around while the REFEREE rang the BELL to send BSpears back to her corner while Little Beaker Dude laughed his furry little buns off at her sorry attempt. Yoda-san tossed a STRAW MAT at BSpears to sink her false nails into while a gym rat prepared to wipe the sweat off with diluted CLOROX.
The referee and gym rat looked strangely familiar. "Yikes, I know you" cried LBD.."you are Andrew ZIMMERN and Tony BOURDAIN from my favorite network. I saw you eat worms and a BALUT egg, washed down by some ROTGUT 2009 Akron, Ohio bottled CHAMPAGNE." The chefs look at the Felines and both drew guns.
Smudge drew their GINZU KNIFE while Yoda-san pulled the TOMMY GUN out of their traveling bag. Little Beaker Dude purred in delight at their new case, crying that all he needed was JULIA CHILE making a CASSOULET and his dream would be complete without the aid of SLEEPING PILLS.



2. Al Gored
3. Red Bull
4. Desk lamp
5. Rubber band