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Feeling Nostalgic? The archives
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Answer Machine (New & Improved?)- I'm Feeling All Knowing/Kevin: The Great and Powerful Oz/NOW TEMPORARILY THE "ASK CLARK" THREAD! >> Wisconsin Wedgies, Tag teamed back to Kevin/Squatting Shatner vs. Sally's birds
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ete.ly as of late
when and how did the great and powerful Oz manage to get out of Kansas and move to Kokomo? maybe it was the earthquake?...
petra - pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
because no one can spell patapus or ardvark correctly. next?
Is it possible that my neighbor who thinks he knows everything really *does* know everything?
people that think they know everything really annoy those of use that really do. that being said, no, your neighbor only knows about 73.4% of everything. roughly enough to make him a 1st round pick in a neighborhood trivia match. next?
See, my friend told me wrong. In high school, he asked me the difference between a duck. I didn't know the answer, but he told me it was,"Motorcycles don't have doors so they can't climb trees."
He must have just been making it up to appear smarter than he was.
Is it wrong to get excited at the thought of an aggressive enhanced pat-down at the airport?
obviously wrong as motorcycles do have doors. door to battery compartment, hard saddlebags have doors, some sidecars have doors and you also can listen to the jim morrison on your radio whilst riding your motorcycle. he was mostly just under-informed and over confident in his answer.next?
Koeeoaddi wrote: "Phil wrote: "What's the difference between a duck?"Why a duck?"
Vy not a goose?
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What should my New Years Resolution be?
I see the new year didn't make Sally any less writhing :-)
yes, kokomo was named for a miami indian chief oddly named chief ma-kokomo which is totally irrelevant to the question but i can't seem to stop myself from spouting interesting information. anyway, here is the way we kokomoans teach our kids to remember the spelling:K - oh brother where art thou. (starred george clooney who also starred in oceans eleven, the 11th letter in the alphabet is K)
O - red, white and blue. (patriotism. first word in star spangled banner)
K - choreography. (song from white christmas sung by none other than danny frickin' kaye)
O - ivory soap. (what your mom uses in your mouth when you discover as a 12 yr old your breakfast is ruined after you have poured dry cereal in a bowl and exclaim "oh S*** we're out of milk!)
M - holstein. (a cow. a cow goes moo. the greek letter m)
O - kardashian. (kim, khloe and kourtney holding hands. a complete circle of idiots)
larry - sally is a card carrying writhologist. part of the agreement in the secret certification ceremony is a minimum number of daily writhes. she normally interjects the writhes throughout the day dispersing them as needed but she occasionally needed to fill said quota causing her to join TC which gave her a plethora of opportunities to writhe.
Is that sort of like tourette's?
no, sally's generous dispersal of curse words is not connected to this.
in a battle between zombies and vampires, what side are you on?
vampires. i am a big fan of count chocula cereal and def NOT a fan of the flesh eating undead. vampires are suave, debanoir and athletic while zombies amble around sluggishly like idiots saying "brains brains" over and over again. by the way, anyone who gets caught by these lethargic morons deserve to die. vampires. the real kind. not metrosexual pretty boys wearing aeropostle clothing and driving SUV's. vegetarian vampires? that's an oxymoron. tuxedo and cape wearing - blood sucking, - widows peak hair havin' - hungarian accent talkin' - chick magnet vampires.next?
Carol wrote: "(I love Kevin's brainzzz)"Kevin, you are not including adorable sock zombies in your undead idiot category, right? *bats eyelashes*
You've been elected King of the World, Kevin. What are your first three official acts?
no (falling for batting), any primates made from footware are exempt from catagorization with before mentioned walking catatonic idiots. sock monkey zombies (smombies) scare the stuffing out of me.
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scout - 1) Add ice cream to original four food groups
2) Declare country music to be illegal
C) Name Connie Chung my official concubine
LG - yes, there is a store called The Emperor's where the clothes feel practically invisiblenext?
sally - prob better go ahead and pee now.next?
She peed on the wall. Aren't you paying attention? Oops, sorry. Back to you Kev.
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no, connie is a personal thing not an asian thing. yes and no. they will try but find out we can get the news from like a plablillion other places on the information superhighway. cremated. they are going to soon run out of room in traditional cemeteries before you expire and will begin burying people vertically. you don't want to be all squished down in the bottom of the casket when the straps that hold you upright rot.next?
ok, the oracle is going offline. hold your questions. sally cross your legs. i'll be returning with a bucket full of answers soon. if you have an emergency please contact RA or clark.peace
Ah shit. I was hoping to find out how many cylinders there are in a V-8...
That's a softball question that any amateur can handle. There aren't ANY cylinders in a V-8. It's mostly tomatoes and carrots.
Phil wrote: "That's a softball question that any amateur can handle. There aren't ANY cylinders in a V-8. It's mostly tomatoes and carrots."
Thanks, Phil. Now I can sleep tonight.
Thanks, Phil. Now I can sleep tonight.
Phil's the scarecrow, filling in while the Wizard is traveling in his balloon.
Or is Phil the Wizard masquerading as a scarecrow?
Good question! We'll have to keep that one on hold until Kevin returns.
ok....back from a short vaca with a head full of answers waiting for questions. next?
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*experiments with the dining room dimmer*