Terminalcoffee discussion
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Feeling Nostalgic? The archives
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Answer Machine (New & Improved?)- I'm Feeling All Knowing/Kevin: The Great and Powerful Oz/NOW TEMPORARILY THE "ASK CLARK" THREAD! >> Wisconsin Wedgies, Tag teamed back to Kevin/Squatting Shatner vs. Sally's birds
What does a Hugh Hefner costume consist of? Where can I find one?
esme - a long smoking jacket, satin lounge pants, expensive silk slippers and a big breasted 20-ish chick on your arm. where to find one: charlie sheen's house.
Q: Where can I find one? A: Every man's dreams.
Kevin "cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels, doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles. oh and red suspenders and young chicks"This reminded me of that song from The Sound of Music. Do you have any upcoming answers that will remind me of West Side Story?
Thank you! I'll wait for the question.
Mod
Also, what kind of sunglasses should I get?
sally - yes, entirely possible and likely. i suggest you stick your finger in her mouth daily and let her chomp down with that hard gum until one day you feel a sharp edge anvil-ing down which will hurt worse than the previous day. than break out the orajelfor you? def wayfarer. you are too cool for the big ol mom sunglasses and too hip for the j-lo's
Mod
I guess I'll google wayfarer. It has got to be a cool style, what with being an Eagles lyric and all.
dangit!!!!! total typo, not dumb attack. shoot. :(sally thinks i am a hilljack
Mod
Sally, before Leah gets a tooth, she'll start drooling like crazy. We had to tie a bandana around Madeline's neck to catch some of it. With her red hair she looked like an Irish Setter. At least we didn't haul her around the state fair on a leash.
Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "dangit!!!!! total typo, not dumb attack. shoot. :(sally thinks i am a hilljack"
Is that better or worse than an ass hat?
way better. a hilljack is just a cultural thing not a result of poor personality or character
Mod
ooopsie. i think i just inserted a size 12.5 doc marten into my very large mouth
Kevin, should I be nice and let everyone sleep in, or wake them up and put them to work?
wake them up. it's 5 o'clock somewhere
Mod
I'm on vacation with my friends. Who obviously don't pay attention to the time.
When applying for a job, how do you get around the "you must have __ months'/years' experience" dilemma, when you have no experience doing anything, yet want to work?
scout - ahhh. a classic catch-22. i would be totally upfront about my experience (or lack thereof) when applying for a job that asks for experience and say "i need a job to get experience". as someone who has been in the position of hiring someone many times i feel like that would have some effect on my decision to give you a chance
Kevin, how can there be 221 messages on this thread I haven't read? Should I read them?
gail - yes. each answer is thoughtfully and purposely (and entirely) made up
I guess I have a bit of reading to do.
Phil doesn't believe in the after life. So I'm guessing he is not keen to find out.
Gail «Cyborg» wrote: "Phil doesn't believe in the after life. So I'm guessing he is not keen to find out."Neither am I. I was hoping for an hilariously snappy comeback.
Mark wrote: "How do you know that it does?"Remember that time before you were born, and all the fun you were having being not-alive?
No?
Yeah, neither do I. I prefer the present state of things; breathe in, breathe out, go to TC, repeat.
#963 - because you can no longer find memorex?
There was an old ad campaign out for cassette tapes that had a slogan of "Is it live or is it Memorex?".
bing bing. we have a winner. thank you jim for getting my dennis miller-esqe humor
Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "bing bing. we have a winner. thank you jim for getting my dennis miller-esqe humor"Glad to be of assistance.
Kevin, you are MUCH funnier than Dennis Miller ever was.
Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "#963 - because you can no longer find memorex?"
If you can't, you're not looking hard enough. Maxell and TDK, too.
-Cassette Clark
If you can't, you're not looking hard enough. Maxell and TDK, too.
-Cassette Clark
I'm 57 years old and have no life insurance. Should I buy term or whole life or something else (if there is something else)?
scout - the way i see people fight over inheritance and how they seem to think that they are entitled to ,i prob would recommend putting all your life insurance policy money into a fund called "fun with scout while alive"
Scout, if you want a life insurance policy to pay for your funeral, go to a local funeral home and buy a pre-need funeral, and then put the rest in the fund Kevin suggested. :)
Mod
There are also various combinations of term and whole life policies that do build annuity cash value over the life of the term.
Why don't I ever understand stories about time travel?
Could you please summarize the last 138 posts?
RandomAnthony wrote: "Could you please summarize the last 138 posts?"People asked Kevin questions.
Kevin posted awesome answers.
Kevin went away and Clark took over.
People asked Clark questions.
Clark posted awesome answers.
Kevin came back and started answering again.
Thanks, but that was a softball question.
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ibritt - they are clubbing. that is last call
LG - cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels, doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles. oh and red suspenders and young chicks
LC - the funky cold medina. he says things like "gimme some monkey lovin" and "you like uncle bobby's medicine?" i've heard he eats pb&j sammiches in the sack just to keep his energy up for the marathon breeding sessions