Terminalcoffee discussion
General Fuckery
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what message would you like to give to RA for when he breaks into your house?
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Take my wife. Please. No seriously that's just an old Henny Youngman joke, for those of you too tender to remember.
Don't bother with taking the laptop in my parents' room - it only has a 90 minute battery length, and it's needed a new cooling fan for about two years now.Oh, and please take all of the stupid Air Wisp things my mom has stashed about the house. It always sprays air freshener in my face whenever I walk into the room although it's supposedly on a timer.
Larry, unfortunately yes, I'm in that demographic. :)
Don't take those sprays personally, Britt. I'm sure it's a coincidence.
Everytime (why isn't that one word?) I come home, my mom has another one, and I told her yesterday, "Ma, those things are going to grow legs and start walking around the house. Soon, you are going to buy their leader, and they are going to devise a plot to take over the house and make it the Air Wisp headquarters. AND THEN they are going to take over the universe all thanks to you."
mmmm, I sense a new animated movie for Clark... AIR WISP EMPIRE 3D
would you fold the clothes that are still sitting in the laundry basket, please?!
If you're hungry, RA, the cupboards are pretty bare at the moment, but you'll find some frozen waffles in freezer; no maple syrup, but there's some bourbon in the cabinet over over the toaster. I find it works just as well.
Ha! I promise to be very gentle with your belongings. I'm just curious. Apparently you people think I'm a weird cross between a maid, junkman,and interior designer. But I may put Bun's Ghiradelli on Jonathan's waffles and have the greatest Sunday lunch ever while reading KD's comics.
Barb wrote: "HA! My bran isn't functioning well enough to come up with my own message right now ... but HA!"Oooh, slow bran can be a pain. My grandpa had to have his bran act quickly, because he only kept short novellas in the bathroom. Stay in too long and you'll have to re-read.
i've never understood why people read in the bathroom.
janine wrote: "i've never understood why people read in the bathroom."There are unfortunate physical consequences for sitting over an opening for long periods of time, too. Starts with H and rhymes with Altoid.
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Also, Sweeter's laptop is annoyingly ancient. Please take it so we can get a new one but don't take mine until I graduate.
Does an exer-saucer have something to do with tea? Or with exorcists?
Oh, I've seen those--had no idea what they were called.
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You know where the cookies are, RA. Help yourself. I know you will anyways. And please drink the beer, because I'm not going to. It's left over BYOB from a book group meeting a couple of years ago. Vegan Brian left it behind.
Wait, does beer get stale?
Hell yes it does! Are you trying to give me old beer? Bleh.
Old beer left by Brian the Vegan Beer Leaver, no less.
Why does beer go stale? Wine does okay in bottles for years, right? And I would guess Coke is fine for quite awhile, too.Beer is stupid.
The beer never goes stale in my house.
The beer fridge is in the garage RA should you choose to break and enter, it's always well stocked.
The beer fridge is in the garage RA should you choose to break and enter, it's always well stocked.
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There are unfortunate physical consequences for sitting over an opening for long periods of time, too. Starts with H and rhymes with Altoid..."
Haltoid??? Never heard of it.
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Please do not stand on my back (or front) balconies/porches and pee into the bushes as I know you do at your house.
If you want a nude variety show look north off the back porch, although you may have to wait. Start times are uncertain.
The girls are upstairs. First bedroom on the right.
a)Beer doesn't go stale - it skunks. You can smell it and taste if it's off. (And wine can go off too - that's why they make you taste it before they pour at a restaurant.)b)RA, please don't leave the gate open. I don't want to have to chase Bo all over the neighborhood on top of figuring out what you've taken. Also, the good beer is hidden behind the bad beer in case you get thirsty from all that B & E.
RA, if you're looking for a crappy gift to give to someone, i have a half-dead cactus. it's been months and i'm still waiting for it to come back to life.
Leave a quarter on the toilet when your done.
Heck, you can steal the whole thing - I live in a mobile home.
I'm beginning to think that RA has connections with Santa Claus or The Sandman. Do you ride in a super-sonic fast sleigh or go all whispy & magicially transport to all these places?
Are there elves involved? If so, can they build me a new covered porch in the back?
RA, please remember to take off your shoes. My carpet is old and stained and we're trying to keep it from getting worse. Help yourself to whatever you like in the kitchen but if you take the last of something, please remember to write it down on the grocery list on the counter.
RA, please clean my closet. My copy of On Liberty is missing in there
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Scout says you can help yourself to all of her extra anger and outrage.
Larry wrote: "Take my wife. Please. No seriously that's just an old Henny Youngman joke, for those of you too tender to remember."Today they would say take my "fiance" or "baby mama" oh yeah but they would just dump her if they felt that way now.
As I offered before, you can take my whole house, but please leave my pillow. I can't sleep without it.
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Just when we thought we'd seen it all on Family Feud—remember?—a contestant ventures a guess for, "Something a burglar would not want to see when he breaks into a house," and gives the most random correct answer ever.
http://tv.gawker.com/5686954/the-weir...
RA, I know we just met, but if you add me to the housebreaking list and promise both to vacuum the baseboards and not let the dog kiss you, you may have all of the booze except for the creme de cassis.
Creme de what? Is that any good?I may be outsourcing some of these break-ins, just so you know. I'm hiring college students at minimum wage. Please fill out the evaluation forms of their performance and return them asap.
Are you giving them extra credit? My house could use a little dusting.
Black currant liqueur, RA. Essential for Kir Royales, and probably not safe from college students, who will drink anything.
There was a bottle of blackberry schnapps that went to every party I ever went to in college. People kept trying to leave it with other people, but nobody wanted it. It finally came to rest with my ex, who used it as cough medicine. It was surprisingly effective.Yours sounds better, Jammies.
Wow, so there are things that college students won't drink. ;) But Sarah, if you're ever in Ohio, drop by and I'll fix you a Kir Royale or three.**RA and his subcontracted minions are excluded from this offer, owing to having previous claims on the rest of my booze.
RA: wake me up,I'll make you homemade crepes from my "memere's" recipe. but don't take my books, LPs,CDs or stereo.
but now that we know this, do you have a message for RA, something you want him to do when he breaks in? maybe you always forget to water your plants, or your dog needs walking, or maybe there's something else that needs to be done around the house.
RA, please take my dead nikon. i'm saving for a new one and i'd love to wrangle my insurance company for extra money.