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Still Life With Oysters and Lemon: On Objects and Intimacy by Mark Doty
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— Virginia Woolf (Mrs. Dalloway)


Second was the discussion of ego vs. egoless art. I found that extremely interesting. One reason I don't relate much to contemporary art is that I sense too much of the artist's ego. I'm the same when I read. He talks about those still lifes that lacked the drive towards the artist's personality. For me that meant the shouting of "me, me, me!"

Why Mark Doty never included any photos of the paintings he’s mentioning in his book?


Dvora, that is a very good point and I would even go so far as to say that in some ways -- it is helpful as a reader that he didn't include reproductions of the paintings he speaks of -- it made me actually use my own mind to picture the painting -- both objects and the colors as he describes them -- and make my own connections between those descriptions and personal items and connections with periods or events which I might have called up as I read a particular passage. With the internet -- obtaining the images is relatively easy should we wish to see each of the paintings he mentioned.




This idea can carry over to other objects as well -- a book whose pages are brittle with age can often not be rescued but it doesn't mean it cannot be an object of value and much loved -- I know that firsthand -- the cover is loose, the pages are (some of them) loose as well, the paper is brittle, but the pencil inscription inside the cover makes this book a prized possession -- To my brother, Harry, on his 16th birthday, from Sarah Amanda -- my father and his eldest sibling, a half-sister.


I really related to his discussion of the objects we accumulate since I've been going through my own of late in an effort to cull out the accumulated detritus I've collected. In doing so I ended up revisiting places and times in my life, just as he describes having done. It is interesting how our objects define us and we define them.
I loved the story about the plate over the fireplace. How everything changed and yet that plate needed to remain in that one spot. Each object he described seemed to be a sort of portkey to past experiences, with his grandmother, his partner. Even the still life itself transports him to Amsterdam.

Kim, I absolutely agree with this. I happen to love the still life paintings which he loves and I find that the pull of a modern still life is much as he describes the pull of the particular painting and the paintings overall -- it's the focus an object related to a life, a specific person or to the universality of such objects in the lives of all humans and the peripheral relationship to the interactions of people with one another which a given object can evoke.
I have just recently picked the book up to finish my second reading and was glad to see activity on this discussion once again. I know this will be on my all-time list of great reading experiences for several reasons.

I'm reading his story about his dogs too. I guess it can't be helped, but I definitely feel the overshadowing of his partner's death in both books. A feeling of sadness that he transmits. Perhaps in his clinging, through objects, to what once was? Admittedly, the Dutch master still life's can be heavy, though amazing. Yet, I like that he makes a note that the objects are somehow immortalized and that moment in time as well.
I love this idea of looking in and seeing not only our lives in arrest but also the artist's view. So is painting a sort of voyeurism? Is that what attracts us to it? Like reading somebody else's mail or looking into one of the open parlor windows you find here in Holland?

I'm reading his story about his dogs too. I guess it can't be helped, but I definitely feel the overshadowing of his partner's death in bo..."
I will start with one reason -- and that reason is an additional one sparked by your comment about looking into the open parlour windows in Holland.
His descriptions of Amsterdam, of the museums, the paintings made me deeply homesick for our five years in Belgium as well as for the city of Amsterdam which was one of my favorite cities in which we spent time during our soujourn in Europe. In fact, just typing this has me in tears -- which is relative to something else which you mentioned relative to the objects/still life paintings -- the tie to the death of his partner.
Second, while I was reading this, objects and their ties to people and their lingering value after a person is gone was heavily in focus for me as I was caring for my mother whose mind had suffered a sudden confusion and left her unable to take care of herself physically or otherwise. She periodically fixated on certain things and we spent many hours spread over the months on a broken coffee mug, or in allaying her panic that her quilt was gone or in danger or when she was more in reality, concern over the few remaining belongings which she had in storage. It was intriguing to me that while I could connect the underlying promptings which focused her on those certain few items -- she never once mentioned other items which I would have imagined would be her priority list. I am just returning to my rereading of this book, after her death and all the attendant responsibilites of her services and burial. I am thinking that rereading this book will very likely be a somewhat cathartic experience and will always be tied in memory to all of the long months of caring for her.
Third, my caring for her had interrupted a long, slow process of sorting through my own lifetime of things and reducing it which had drawn to a halt frequently when some particular thing or set of things would pull me into a reflective state which threatened to freeze my progress. The reference in the book to the upstairs room first one and then another turning into storage was very much relevant to what I had been dealing with before taking mother into our home on hospice care.
My fascination with Holland began with Hans Brinker and the Silver Skates and only increased when my fourth grade teacher shared her own life during our study of Holland in history class -- she was a native of Amsterdam and in retrospect I recognize the soft accent which had remained with her. She was one of my earliest chosen role models and I often think of her with great fondness.
And I just realized -- a book which started me on a fascination wtih a country and tied to memories of a certain person has led down a trail of books to another book tied to place, persons, and memory. Is this why we are so attached not only to objects and art portraying art (our own version being photos which are now mushrooming thanks to the digital age) but more specifically to books?

And on the subject of seeing, I just learned that Mark
Doty suffered a detached retina last night. No further news as of now.
I'm glad you're enjoying the dog book, Kim. I loved it, even though I haven't had a dog for a long time.



______________
Last night I sat down with a glass of wine and Still Life with Oysters and Lemon, by the poet Mark Doty. I read it in one go and a second glass of wine. I really don’t have words to describe the experience of reading it. Any attempt to express it seems shallow after Doty’s beautifully crafted prose. I will only say that it has been a long time since I read a book that spoke so deeply to me, but this phrase also seems shallow and clichéd. Yet, speak to me it did.
This book defies genre, and my appreciation of it maybe comes from the fact that I had no expectations about it. Reading other reviewers it seems to me that those mostly disappointed by it were the readers that tried to peg it to a genre, be it art review, memoir or poetry. And if they were looking for a specific theme they had the right to feel disappointed, because it is all of these - art review, memoir and poetry – and none of it.
Oh, I envy Mark Doty though. How can he name so effortless – as it seems - the experiences of my heart. I too have...
...fallen in love with a painting. (...) have allowed myself to be pulled into its sphere by casual attraction deepening to something more compelling. I have felt the energy and life of the painting’s will; I have been held there, instructed.
Often I shy away from describing my experience of art, as I don’t have the academic knowledge or vocabulary to do it, and speaking of art as it tugs my heart, I tend to be melodramatic and incoherent. Then Mark Doty comes along and says it for me, so beautifully, so tenderly.
But he also speaks of life, death and grieving. Maybe this is a book about grieving more than anything else. And on grief he again puts words to feelings I have not been able to vocalize:
Not the grief vanishes – far from it – but that it begins in time to coexist with pleasure; sorrow sits right beside the discovery of what is to be cherished in experience. Just when you think you are done.
It felt surprising too that in a book so small – 70 pages – I relate so close to two of Doty’s experiences. I too love to browse through state sales and auctions. In my part of the world the state auctions are mainly of farm machinery and mechanical tools, but I have found small treasures here and there. White porcelain napkin holders in the shape of chubby chickens, tucked away in a sad box of Tupperware. Medalta pottery, cracked and beautiful in its utility. A wooden horse, its original tail replaced by a rough cord, a survivor of many children’s play. A pocket size New Testament encased in metal covers to protect the heart of a loved one from a bullet on WWI.
These excursions into people’s past, their day-to-day, now relegated to the junk pile. I always felt there was a lesson here, and again I never was able to vocalize it, to name it.
Then, there is Mark Doty’s trip to Amsterdam on his 45th birthday. I was in Amsterdam this last September, celebrating not mine but one of my sister’s 45th birthday. We are three sisters spread very evenly around the globe. I live in the middle of Canada, the birthday girl lives in Sao Paulo, Brazil, and the baby of the family lives in Hong Kong, China. Amsterdam of all places on Earth seemed to be the epicentre of our geographical distances.
I wish that I could say, like Mark Doty, that a visit to the Rijksmuseum was the highlight of our trip, but actually we never made it there. As it is often the case with sisters, we have very different approaches to life, art and travel, and this trip, as special as it was, was really a great exercise on compromises. I forgo the Rijksmuseum for the Van Gogh Museum and an Antiquity Art Show on Alexander the Great at the Amsterdam’s Hermitage Museum.
My experiences at both Museums felt short of Doty’s experience at the Rijksmuseum, and short of my own visits to other art museums in previous years. I found the Van Gogh collection and museum to be too small for the amount of visitors. It was crowed and hot in there. Too many people elbowing each other for a view of the masterpieces made it impossible for me to achieve an emotional connection to the paintings. Yes, rationally I admired then, but I never experience, as Mark Doty would say, being pulled into it, held there and instructed by it. How sorry I feel to say it even, as Van Gogh’s works, above most, generally provoke and emotional connection and response from me.
As for the show at the Hermitage, it was an historical show. Not that the pieces were not artistic, but their value was in the historical exposition of Alexander’s life and influence at his time. An experience that was much more rational than emotional for me.
Yet, I relate to what Doty says on having his senses sharpened by this trip to Amsterdam, and by the viewing of a painting, or art object. And I related to what I think is his bigger message on this book, of how the essence of life impregnates the objects around us. How a chipped china plate carries the memories of other times, other people, and how its intrinsic beauty can affect us and our own lives.
If the museums I visited in Amsterdam did not provoke this, the house of Anne Frank certainly did. Had I been travelling by myself, the line up of people waiting outside would have driven me away. I also suffer from mild claustrophobia, and felt anxious in anticipation of the small spaces that the Franks had to live in. But again, this was a trip of compromises, and one of my sisters felt strongly about visiting it, so we went.
The Frank’s hiding place was actually bigger than I had imagined, and what really disturbed me was its emptiness. As per requested by Otto Frank, Anne Frank’s father, all furniture has been removed. The walls still have the collages the girls did from pictures in magazines that they cut and pasted on a few walls. An open widow in the attic, which they would open from time to time, framed the autumn colours of the trees on the street.
But it was in the absence of personal objects that their suffering was more poignant. The nothingness of life exposed almost brutally. Who were those people? Where are the chairs were they sat to eat and talk? The plates and cutlery? Where are the echoes of their voices, laughter and cries if the objects of their daily lives were also taken from us?
Could a painting of the trees outside replace for the Franks that open window?
No, I don’t think so. As I see it, art does not replace life. But a painting of the view of that widow could let us glimpse into their existence. And sometimes I painting, an installation, and sculpture do just that. It allows us to share an awareness beyond past and future, and we are faced with an essence of feelings and life.
Would I be betraying their pain if I said I felt as if I was viewing an artistic installation while visiting the actual rooms where the Franks hid? I felt detached from the particular individuals that lived and suffered in there, but was embraced by all the suffering represented in the void of this space; the vacuum of their deaths and the deaths of many others in the same time period.
But, here I am again trying to say something of my experience of art and becoming melodramatic... So I better stop right now. Go read the book. Mark Doty says it with so much more poetry and coherence than I could ever do it.

I can appreciate what you said about those of us who were more inclined to attach the book with a certain genre, I think I fall into that category. You are right in saying that there is no 'specific' theme. There really is no set genre to attribute to this work.
"Not the grief vanishes – far from it – but that it begins in time to coexist with pleasure; sorrow sits right beside the discovery of what is to be cherished in experience. Just when you think you are done."
This is a wonderful quote. This one I can correlate with my own life. My father passed away almost 14 years ago and although it is still hard and my feelings are laced with sorrow, they are also filled with pleasure. I love how he expresses this feeling so eloquently. Thank you for singling that out.
Again, I really like your review, thank you for taking the time to write it and sharing it with us.


It was strange for me to read this book at this time as I'm not only getting rid of "things" but also just finished reading about wabi sabi and admiring that quality as well. Just as I finished coming to an understanding of the wabi sabi concept, here comes Doty to reinforce that image. Yes, the broken plate that is repaired is so much more visually intriguing than the whole plate and yes our lives are filled with these objects that have born testament to time passing. It makes me all the more glad, when I look at my beaten wood floor that I didn't go for the full varnishing job the painters suggested when we moved in here years ago. And it helps me to look at myself in a different way too, a bit of wabi sabi makes a person more interesting, don't you think?
I was worried a bit in the beginning though, that he was making the still life out to be something dead and suffocating, but he instead seems to portray it as the "slice of life" which it is. Maybe that's what we should call still life paintings. Because that's what they are, a moment in time, a meal interrupted, a song partially sung, and it leaves us wanting more and being curious about what happened before and what happened after and even what will happen now. Still life's wet our appetite for what is actually happening now with a little taste of yesteryear to make it sweet.

Kim, I understand the idea of the marked hardwood floor. I have a kitchen table that I used to overprotect, nowadays it makes me smile to see the marks left from years of my kids doing homework on it. Maybe I should look at myself in the mirror with the same wabi sabi approach.
I also really like what you say about the still life paintings: ...that's what they are, a moment in time, a meal interrupted, a song partially sung, and it leaves us wanting more and being curious about what happened before and what happened after and even what will happen now.
I think that if one thing of this book will stay with me, it will be a fresh appreciation for still life paintings, which I should really admit I never appreciate much before.


Has anyone watched HOARDERS, in horror? I tell my self, "Wow I'm glad I'm not THAT bad!" At age 11 or 12 I bought my own portable b/w tv so I could watch Brando and Newman in the wee hours in my bedroom. Mom would not let me watch the one in the playroom. I started collecting antiques when I was 14: a singer sewing stand, followed by a deco dresser circa age 16. It went on from there.
A woman I used to know was former alcoholic who transformed into a serious shopaholic, sometimes kleptomaniac. She was pretty, fun, gregarious, loved art. A bit too much. She wanted it all!! She had impeccable taste, knew every single beautiful shop (in every city all over the world!); the date and location of every antique show, art event. I was intrigued how she was familiar with so many sales people. Our friendship was fun at first, but during a drive to Chicago to visit her kids, (an excuse for shopping all along the way), I overheard a sales person at an Hermes store tell another salesperson to keep an eye on her for shoplifting! I was mortified!
Anyhow, I got off on a tangent there. I love beautiful things, too. When I die the people going through my things will have a field day. My sister calls my place "Museo di Monica". I purge, but never in a really HUGE way. When I got transferred to California I remember getting rid of two HUGE contractor bags full of clothes. When mom died we gave lots to charity but inherited many of her personal belongs. I love them because they contain her aura but it's more stuff! Purple Heart can always count on a few boxes and bags from me every month. I've had a long and wonderful career in advertising and still have not had the reserve to throw out my portfolio.
Over the last several years I've started gifting my cousin's kids (the females) with jewelry (not all 14 karate), Christian Dior bags, makeup, skin care, high end lingere from Europe (wasted on my me these days) cause I know none of them will be going to Au Printemps soon or feeling tempted by gold satin and lace bra and panties on sale for $85 at Nieman Marcus.
I waited to read your remarks after I'd finished reading this book. I want to say how much I appreciate them and wish you all a happy new year.


My remarks pale in comparison to everyone else's and I'm amazed at readers like you who have moved overseas. Talk about possessions and change!
One comment that stuck with me when I was being relocated to California was when a personnel person suggested I "imagine my things with me in a new place." Well, it didn't work cause ultimately I left LA.
I heard a story about a factory in Italy that was going to move and the employees said, "Fine! Bye!!" None of them were interested in any sort of relocation. They were quite happy with life where the were.
Today I found a very fitting passage about possessions and longing in a book of essays about two chapters of the Lotus Sutra called, Lectures on the "Expedient Means and "Life Span" Chapters of the Lotus Sutra, by Daisaku Ikeda:
The Wisdom to Discern the True Nature of Attachments
"...the fundamental cause of people's unhappiness lies in their tendency to develop attachments of various kinds...and attachment... is a fetter on one's heart; it indicates earthly desires, cravings and the like.
... the spirit of the Lotus Sutra is not to eradicate earthly desires...we can transform desires-just as they are- into enlightenment.
...It's not a matter of eradicating attachments but of seeing them clearly. In other words, rather than causing us to abandon our earthly desires and attachments, our Buddhist practice enables us to discern their true nature and utilize them as the driving force to become happy.
The truth is that we could not in fact eradicate out attachments even if we so wished. And if, for the sake of argument, it were feasible, doing so would make it impossible to live in the real world.
What is important is that we make full use of our attachments rather than allow them to control us. Toward that end, it is necessary that we recognize them for what they are.
...we develop from a state of life in which we are caught up with our own small worries, to one in which we can challenge progressively greater worries-for the sake of a friend, for many others, for all mankind.
...when we clearly establish our fundamental objective in life, we can utilize our attachments most fully and profitably. We can turn them into tailwinds to propel us toward happiness.
This principle offers an extremely valuable gauge for living in modern society, where people are constantly swept along by various wants and cravings."

Personally, I don't collect things. Well, I do have a lot of statues, but that's about it. I guess this is why I didn't really relate to the book. I'm in the minority, I know. But, I am a bit envious of you all who find 'stuff' that can have significance in your life and make you happy.


The Rolling Stones say, "You can't always get what you want. You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you get what you need!"

Good line, Monica! Good line!

I loved the part about the mints in the purse too. Reminded me of my mother's purse. That would be an awesome subject for a series of still life's (if it hasn't been done before), what women have in their purses. Kind of like what people keep in their fridges. Anyway, the way he wrote it I could totally picture the sticky, sweet wrappers and even imagine finding one buried between the car seat in the back on their way to see the bears.
He's clearly a fan of Virginia Woolf, which explains his wonderfully visually descriptive passages. No surprise to me as he immediately made me think of Jeannette Winterson who is also an advocate of Woolf.
I'll keep looking for the quote I mentioned!