Inner Workings discussion
Poetry
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You found it on your own
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nice! kind of pulls on the heart strings. (critique, though, i think that the branch is a little superfluous.)
how dare you criticize my work! kidding - um maybe, maybe the word old too
let's see...You found it on your own
down at the edge
of the property
near the road
found the last scrap of it
hanging from the skeletal tree
where I left it
hope in my heart
hmmm - not sure, the pacing seems off to me now - something not quite...
You found it on your own down at the edge
of the property
near the road
found the last scrap of it
hanging from
the skeletal old tree
where I left it
hope in my heart
Yes! I do like this (the third, not the second) edit. It has a nice rythm. It's actually kind of a nice fall/october poem, with it's edge and skeletal and hanging. Has kind of a creepy overtone. Do two poems in such a short span of time mean that you've started writing again? Or does it mean you've been writing all along and keeping it from me?
xxoo
P
thank you for posting this, matt. another lovely love poem. more, please! :)(p.s. i'm going to guess that you've been writing all along -- but i'm romantic enough to also imagine that these are the celebration of cementing love, from a newlywed, even if you've been together forever. :)
down at the edge
of the property
near the road
found the last scrap of it
hanging from the branch
of the skeletal old tree
where I left it
hope in my heart