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Jen's writing
message 351:
by
Rosalyn
(new)
Dec 06, 2010 09:13AM
i don't know why they would point out the repetitiveness. that seems to be precisely the point...wow
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yeah i was playing around with format and stuff and i thought it sounded good when i read it aloud
Thanks Amina:) i promise to get a poem done later once i finsih my hw i am supposed to be doing now but instead im here lol.
**Left**You left
And never came back.
You left
But never gave a reason why.
You left
And never apologized.
You left
And took my heart with you.
You left
And didn’t once look over your shoulder.
You left
Me by myself.
You left
After I pleaded for you to stay.
You left
Me on the ground wiping away tears.
You left
But my memories of you didn’t.
You left
And didn’t care about what happened to me.
You left
After all the love we shared.
You left
But I should have gone first.
I'm back! I have been sick so i wasnt really in the mood for my daily writing the past few days (srry). but now i come back with a gift....... a new poem!**Chasing Truth**
All the pain
You threw at me,
Trickles down my face.
Now you finally see the
Hurt clouding my eyes.
And you think it is okay
To try and laugh it off,
To apologize
Not to my face,
You coward,
But in a smudgy, crumpled note
Passed between hand
And hand.
I tore the note,
On which you scribbled words
Meaningless
To me,
Like
You
Tore
My
Heart.
Before,
You and I didn’t even know of
One another’s existence,
But then gradually
I began to
Trust
You.
And you should know
It was the biggest
Mistake
Of my life.
Because not too long after
That moment
When I placed my trust in you,
You stepped behind me and
Whispered in my ear.
I turned,
Only so that my eyes
Could see the blood
Dripping
Off your hands
From the
Knife
You so ruthlessly
Stabbed
In
My
Back.
Chase
Is the game we play now.
You are running after me
Never to catch up
And I’m
Not
Going
To
Look
Back.
jen...this is really good. raw and heartfelt. it actually breaks my heart because its very truthful in itself.When I placed my trust in you,
You stepped behind me and
Whispered in my ear.
I turned,
Only so that my eyes
Could see the blood
Dripping
Off your hands
From the
Knife
You so ruthlessly
Stabbed
In
My
Back.
these are my favorite lines in this poem. it just struck me as hard as the knife did. i don't really know how else to put it. i just know that i am proud of your abilities to continuously please me, as a dedicated reader of your work, with such lovely words. keep on girl.keep on. =)
thnx as always t-rose! so glad ur back:) this really happened to me so i guess that is why it turned out better than others
Finally I worte something!**Letting Go of You**
Desperately, I try
To stop going
To find you.
For the lights,
Blinding and sparkling,
Threaten
To expose
My feelings.
And the music,
Loud and bubbling,
Make me want to
Grasp your hand
And grip it
Tight
So you cannot let go
Of me
Again.
But I know
I will never stop
Because your
Power
Over me
Is too strong.
Every night
My aching heart
Suffers more
Unbearable pain.
Always
You are
Alone.
And always
Your eyes
Glaze
Over me.
But you
Never
Notice me
For I am
Invisible.
The shadows
That I hide in
Engulf me
And take over
My heart
And fill it with
Darkness.
Looking at
And thinking of
You
Only breaks me more.
And I
Wish
Harder and harder
That
My mind
Would let go
Of you.
Just
Like
You
Let
Go
Of
Me.
I want to stop trying to
Capture your heart.
Since you
Dropped mine
And just
Watched
It
Fall.
awesome. wow, I didn't notice I'd been deprived of your excellent writings for so long!
i know i haven't written anything for like a month! and even this isnt that good but i just dont know what to write.
Oh it is. Give yourself some credit. I love every single poem of yours.
Jen wrote: "Finally I worte something!**Letting Go of You**
Desperately, I try
To stop going
To find you.
For the lights,
Blinding and sparkling,
Threaten
To expose
My feelings.
And the music,
Loud..."
wow jen. i have to agree with amina. i miss your writing too! lovely and deep this latest one is =)
u really like it!? i wasn't really liking it but i just wanted to write something. you will both be happy to hear then (since you have missed my poetry so much) that i am currently in the midst of writing a short stroy in verse chapters:) this is the first:**Band of Strangers**
Twisting and
Turning
I go in
Search
Of it.
All the while
Hearing sounds of the
Night.
Strangers,
No more
Silent
Than a band of crickets.
All of them
Chirping,
Laughing,
Screaming,
Crying,
Whispering,
Creating an
Everlasting
Song
Filling my head.
Clumsily, I stumble
Along
Adding my steps to the
Ongoing music.
I try to ignore
The harmony
But it threatens
To drive me insane
As I reach another
Dead end
Forcing me to go back
And come
Another day.
ooooh, is there more? this is really lurky! I like it
i finished he second chapter last night so here you go:**Waiting Behind Locks**
Tall trees
Towering
Over my head
As I run and
Stumble
Throughout the
Dark,
Haunting
Forest.
Trying quickly
To reach you
In the
Twisting
Maze.
That is if you are
Still even
There
Waiting
For the next
Girl
To come.
I had thought
Only in my
Dreams and
Nightmares
Could someone
Destroy me, but
Then you
Broke me.
Now every
Night
I must come back to this
Daunting maze
Searching for what you
Stole
From me when we
At last reached the end.
That terrible night
I met you
I entered
Alone
Without reason,
Only that I was
Lost in the forest
And I heard
Someone,
Something,
Calling to me softly.
It was you, speaking
Barely a
Whisper.
Still I heard
You
Over the other couples
Talking while
Running or hiding
In the maze.
Out of breath
I reach
The gate
But it is
Locked.
Reaching
Into my pocket
I find the
Key
You gave me.
You told me
“Just in case.”
But I never knew what it
Unlocked,
Until now.
I know you did this
On purpose,
Locking the gate so only
I
Could enter.
So only
You
Would
Be
Waiting.
*the italics is a memory
does it make sense? cuz like i know the whole story but if i didnt i dont kno if its confusing while reading...also i'm writing the next chapter tonight:)
i come with great news!!.......i'm not dead:P
lol srry i havent been posting guys, just SOOOOO busy. i can let you know however that i wrote the last chapter to my short story in verse. however i cannot post it since i have yet to write the inbetween chpts. i will be finishing it today though since i HAVE NO SCHOOL!!!!!! hip-hip-hooray:P k- gotta get back to writing but check later for the finished story:)
well do u wanna read the last chpter? cuz i don't know how i'm gonna write the ones between yet and i would like an opinion on the last.
I don't want it to be spoiled... post the in between chapters first will ya? and welcome back =D
same here. ill wait for you to post the other chapters. oi, i hate spoliers of any kind =P
ok. thnx amina, t-rose:)
Okay so i now have the third chpt! I think i'll do one or two more b4 i post the end one. PLZ LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!**Lost in Wait**
Slowly,
Unwillingly,
I go through
Your maze.
By myself I would get
LOST
But you were there,
Waiting.
You called to me.
It sounded as if
You
Were right behind me,
Holding my hand,
Whispering
Directions in my ear.
Whispering
To come to you.
I could not
Look
Back
Or I would not be able
To go to you and
Take back what was
Rightfully
Mine.
I would not be able
To end what you
Started.
Would not be able
To help those like me
Who unknowingly came
To you
In the
Darkness.
So I took a
Deep breath
And
Followed
The sound
Of your
Voice
By which I was once
Betrayed.
Awesome! Great! Thrilling! More please? =D
i just got back from shopping and what not so i'll write something new now. thnx so much amina!:)
Jen wrote: "Okay so i now have the third chpt! I think i'll do one or two more b4 i post the end one. PLZ LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!**Lost in Wait**
Slowly,
Unwillingly,
I go through
Your maze.
By myse..."
i really like this poem. as per usual my dear jen =)
i particularly appreciate the somewhat ambiguity of its context, meaning, you can't tell for sure if this is about a guy or an ex of some sort. or even a parent. if anything, this could be about a person conflicting with oneself. you know...like looking in the mirror at your won betrayal of yourself. what do you think?
that is a very interesting take. once i finsh the rest of these chapters and post the final one i think it will become clear:) thnx for commenting!**Masked Expectations**
Turn.
Your voice is
Echoing
In my mind.
Turn.
Commanding
Me
To make the last turn.
Commanding me
To face you.
I knew
Before you told
Me to turn
That I had
Reached
The end.
That I had
Reached
You.
But I do
Not
Have the
Strength
To turn.
The strength
To see your figure
Hiding,
Lurking,
In the shadows.
The moon
Dancing
In your eyes
As the soft breeze
Pulls your raspy voice
Toward me.
I do not think
I would be able
To resist the
Hatred pulling
Me
Toward you.
But I know I have
To face you
In order to take
Back
What is mine.
To take back
What you stole.
So I round the corner
And see you.
You are not
In the shadows
As I expected.
You are standing
In the moon-light,
Your dark eyes
Shining,
Your perfect teeth in a
Sly
Smile.
You whisper and
Take a small step
Toward me.
But I block
Out the words
You say and take a step
Back, warning you
With my eyes
Not to come
Closer.
Your smile
Falters
And you stop
Along with the
Whispers.
I am done with you.
I am broken
Because of you.
I Shout
The words
At your face
And now
Your mask has slipped.
But then
Rage
Flickers
Through your
Dark
Eyes
And your brow
Creases.
But your mouth.
Your mouth
Betrays
You.
It does not show
Anger.
It shows
Amusement.
**Battle of Whispers**The walls of your
Maze
Tower above me
As moon light
Pools around
Us.
My Determination has now
Diminished
To a small seed
As I see your
Amusement
At our battle.
We both have something
The other wants.
The other desires.
You
Want
Me.
You want me to
Stay
With
You.
With you
In
The
Shadows.
I want back what
You have
Stolen from me.
What you stole from
Me when I
Gave
You
My Trust.
Yet in the
Back of my Mind
I hear my own voice
Whispering:
“No one will win.”
I whisper this
To you:
No one will win.
I shout
I scream
This to you:
No one will win.
And as the words
Repeat themselves
You walk toward
Me,
Laughter
Spilling
Out your mouth.
My anger
Toward you
Grows
Stronger
With each of your steps
Toward me.
But though
You
Keep
Your
Feelings masked
I refuse to hide
Mine.
Your arms
Encircle me and I
Fight
Against
You.
Fight against your
Strength
With all of
Mine.
Fight against
You
Winning.
Oooh, this is getting interesting. As I read each word, I can feel myself standing in darkness looking at something... someone, maze walls around me. It's scary.
**Moonlit Rage**I shove
You
Off
Me.
I shove
You into the
Shadows.
Into
The
Darkness.
This time
Surprise
Flashes across
The features of your face
In the moonlight as
You
Tumble to the
Ground.
Rage has overcome me
And though, at one time
Just the
Sight of You
Could make me
Smile,
I am now
Immune to
You.
So as you
Fall and hit your head
Against the
Brick of the path
No sympathy
Do I give you.
Instead I
Realize what is
Coming.
What
Is
Coming
Too
Fast.
The
End.
I stand above you
As you
Bleed onto the path.
But still your
Smile
Stays for you
Know I still have
Not gotten back
What is Mine.
So you laugh.
Laugh
As you
Whisper
My
Words back in
My face:
“You are
Right
Sweetheart.
You are
Right,
No
One
Will
Win.”
LAST CHAPTER!**Caged**
I watch the tears
Gliding down your cheeks,
In sync with those
Rolling
Off mine.
I want to tell you
You brought it on yourself,
But as I
Stand
Over your slumped body
I see the
Lights
Go
Out in your
Eyes.
Time
Has
Run
Out.
I slash at my eyes
Trying
Desperately
To rid myself of the
Grief and Guilt.
But mostly of the
Sorrow
I am feeling
For you.
For you, a
Thief.
I take a step back
Knowing I must
Leave.
Leave you here
Alone,
Cold,
Vulnerable,
Dead.
Leave you
Helpless and
LOST
In your own maze.
I turn
Shaking
At what
You
Have caused me to do.
Always I am,
And always I will be, your
Pawn.
Even when your, black,
Eyes
Have stopped seeing.
Even when your
Hollow
Heart has stopped beating.
Slowly,
I work my way through the
Twisting,
Turning,
Everlasting,
Maze.
As I do so, I
Stare at my
Red Hands.
Though this is
Not the source of my
Panic.
It is that
My Fear and
Terror has come
True.
My fear that I have
Lost it, and that
You
Have it
Forever.
And Now
There is no way for
Me
To get
It
Back.
To get
Back what you
Stole
From me
That first
Night
We met.
That first
Night
We
Kissed.
As I reach the entrance gate
I know
It
Is gone
Forever.
My
HEART
Is
Gone
Forever.
You never
Let it out of your
Locked
Cage.
And
Now
You never
Will.
I take the
Final step
Out.
I walk through the gate.
And start to
Leave you and your
Maze
Behind.
I see the
Forest
And all I must do is
Run through the trees and
I will be
Free
Of
You.
But I
Stop
Right at the
Edge.
Calmly,
I walk back toward the
Open gate.
Because
Hanging
On my neck is your
Key.
The key you gave me
And
Never
Took
Back.
My Red hand
Wraps around the
Dark, black bar of the gate
As the other
Pulls the key off its
Chain
Around my neck.
I slide the key
Into the rusty,
Black,
Heart shaped lock
And turn.
Now you are locked
In your own misery.
Locked
In your own hatred.
Locked
In your own blood.
Locked
In your own maze.
Locked
With
No
Way
Out.
you may want to start with the first again just to make sure you know what is going on
Omg, this is insane. I have no words to describe your verses, Jen. This is beautiful. Well-written, awesomely composed, exhilirating. Every word is perfect for what your telling... and oh man, it's just way cool! This is really great =D
THNX! you just made my day and now i can't stop smiling! i am so proud of myself:D ahhh i just couldn't wait for someone to commment:P lol you just made me SO HAPPY!
awwww, you deserve it jen girl. This was epic. I'd suggest you write another one of these, I'm here to read whatever you write!
oh dont worry i will definately write another one of these short stories in verse thing-ies :P lol it was a lot of fun to write! and thnx again amina:D
No problem! Stop thanking me, you earned the praise after all
**Accident**If only
You had seen
The stoplight,
Seen the
Red
Emanating from it.
If only
You had
Cared about people
Other than yourself
When rushing past
The stoplight
At sixty-five miles an hour
Without
Looking.
If only
The mother
Had Not
Been looking in the
Backseat, at her
Smiling,
Laughing,
Little
Six year old
Daughter.
If only
The mother
Had Not
Been so Carefree
As she stepped
On the pedal when
The light
Went
Green.
If only
That six year old girl
Had Not
Been sitting next to
The car door on
The right.
If only
Your perfect,
Brand new,
Black,
Sports car
Had Not
Rammed into
The right
Side of that
Misty
Blue
Minivan.
If only
That Little girl
Had Not
Fallen
Victim to your
Selfishness.
If only
You
Had Not
Seen the face of the
Little girl
Gazing out
The window at
The raindrops as you
Tried too
Late
To
Stop.
If only
That single mother
Got to say
Goodbye to her
Only child
Before your
Destruction
Tore
Her
Life
Apart.
If only
You really had a
Second chance
At everything
So you could
Prevent all that
You Have made
Happen.
If only
That little girl
Could
Rise from
The smoke
And be okay,
Still laughing,
Running,
To hug
Her crying,
Distraught mother.
If only
The impact on
The right side of that
Misty
Blue minivan
Had Not
Instantly taken
The Life of that
Laughing,
Innocent,
Six year old girl.
If only
The mother
Could stop
Blaming herself
For what she
Was Not
The cause of.
If only
You
Had
Seen that Red
Stoplight.
If only
Accidents
Did Not
Happen.
If only
The medics
Had
Come in time to
Drag you out of your
Wrecked vehicle and
Save
Your
Life.
If only.
If only.
Omg! You won't beleive this but I had background music whilst reading this... and it just added to the emotion of it. *wipes away tear* this is by far the best poem - and the most full of feeling - you ever wrote, or I ever read, actually. Way to go! *wipes away another tear*
