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Jen's writing
message 301:
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Rosalyn
(last edited Nov 18, 2010 06:09PM)
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Nov 17, 2010 03:44PM
aww...thanks jen for taking my reads seriously yet lightly. im glad you don't feel like im beating you up. and i know what you mean about others posting simple "i like" or "i love this" and nothing more when you are specifically interested in trying to better your work. otherwise,what is the point of aspiring? but you already know the answer to that. clearly. anyway don't worry about grace. and don't hate. just note it. i understand what you're going through
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Jen wrote: "hey guys i am still working on my POTD but if you want, I wrote a short story thing that you could check out. it is really short and quick:) here is the link:http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2..."
Oooooh, this is scary!
thanks it was a school assignment but she didnt like mine as much as others so i am mad. jk jk
**GUILT**Two people at war with one another
But neither one apologizing first to the other.
The words screamed I will never forget
And now the silent treatment I get.
‘Grow up’ she tells me
And lets me go free.
Through my heart she threw her spear
And her hatred toward me is clear.
Me she does not love.
She rid herself of me with a shove.
I think back to the time
When I called her mine.
When anything I said made her laugh.
I wish I could go back.
I could undo what happened
When everything blackened.
Maybe no blood would be spilt
And maybe I wouldn’t feel so much guilt.
hmmm I like! is this from a guy's point fo view or is it perhaps a daughter to mother complex? or sister to sister? what you have written here is fitting for either of those kinds of relationships...cool
well it started mother/daughter but then it was guy POV so i guess any of those options work.
Ooooh, double perspective. Interesting.
hey guys,i'm srry i havent been on in three days. i also havent had time to write anything. i do have one poem from friday but i left it in school so i'll post it monday along with mondays POTD. so srry but i've been really busy which is y i havent been on.
it's okay jen. many of us are most likely dealing with the same thing. for one thing, thanksgiving is coming up so...well you know the rest. post on your time, not ours. this is a free community, not a prison ;)
lol yeah i just feel bad when i disappear:) but i promise once thanksgiving is ovr i'll b back on like i used to!
wow u never figured that out? well just to b clear: YES, we are. ;P anyways, thanks kel bells! i really appreciate the luv <3
**Forgive and Forget**Falling for you again
Is the last thing I wanted to do.
But I must admit, I’ve missed you.
Being back in your arms,
Surrounded by your charm.
Laughing once more
Just like before.
But then I remember what you’ve done
And I don’t want a rerun.
So I push hard
And you I disregard.
But then my anger breaks
Along with my heartache
And I look back to see,
You staring back at me.
Your eyes plead ‘forgive and forget’
But I’m not ready yet.
**WAR**You say we should stop our squalor
So I put down my armor.
You say stop to the fighting
So I stop the striking.
Foolishly I trust you,
And don’t give a second thought about your word being true.
Then you come up behind me
And when I turn, the end is all I see.
Because above you is your gleaming sword
And me it is coming toward.
Around me my blood pools.
Forgiving you proved me a fool.
And now my heart bleeds,
Into the ground on seeds.
Now, when the red petals bloom
They will represent my unjust doom
And they will remind you
Of your sword slashing my heart through.
this was today's POTD and the one b4 was from the 19th
lol, phineas and ferb? OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!I got a perry the platypus t-shirt :O
oh and thanks:) i may write another later but i'll be creating a BUNCH over our long break!
thats ok, u kno i'll let u borro watev u want:)i just have to wear it first lol :P
oolala:) wow i dont think any other statement could possibly sound so unlike me...
**BLOOD**Down my finger
Flows a sliver
Of bright red blood.
It drops
Onto my white,
Pristine paper.
The liquid puddles,
Then seeps,
And spreads further
On the blank sheet.
A red
Blossom
Flourishes
As petals
Peel back and reveal
An intricate design.
Then tears glide
Down my cheeks
And sprinkle the flower
With my despair.
lol this didn't really happen, i was just inspired. not all of these poems are 100% true... and no worries everyone says that to me. i almost fainted in science cuz we were talkin bout cells and stuff and it was gross.
Yeah i can see it now---"MR.LONGO!!!! I dont feel so good...." then..."BAM" my head smashes onto the floor.
Haha! I'm like dat too! Great 3 poems, Jen. Awesome as ever.o.O ur both cousins. Wow.
Thanks Amina! i was writing a lot yesterday:)
jen i love your latest poems. so emotional. deep and dark. your metaphorical/personifying use and references of blood are greatly thematic here. i like what you've done. you have any planned writing(s) for the holiday season?
do u mean holiday themed writing or writing during the holidays? if the second, DEFINATELY! we had a 1/2 day yesterday, today, and 2moro so i get home really early and write. i will be writing on thursday but maybe not as much. as for friday/saturday/sunday--i have nothing other than writing planned:)
**What Lies Beneath the Surface**Her deep eyes wash over me
And I know she can see
Right through my false façade
Filling me with guilt and making me flee.
She knows I am lying through my teeth
To keep the real me underneath
Because I am truly shattered
And I can’t show my broken remains beneath.
Continuously into me her eyes bore
Waiting to see sight of the me from before
But this is now who I am
And the old, broken me is no more.
No longer will I be pushed and shoved
Even if it means leaving the one I have loved
She has to understand
Though I’m not with her she will always be my beloved.
But now with her eyes burning
I worry about her hurting
And I realize
For her I will never stop yearning.
Leaving her was a mistake
And I wish she would stop making my heart ache
Because every time I remember leaving
I see her heart crack and break.
**MONSTER**Everywhere I go, I hear your name,
Driving me slowly insane.
I don’t want to listen anymore
To the lies about how you were before.
They wait for me everywhere I go to say
That they heard that I was the one who had betrayed.
But they weren’t there
When your anger would flare
And you would strike out
And in my ear you would shout
About hating everyone and everything
But I was done listening.
So one day I left
Because you let me bereft.
All the hatred you had inside,
You were like Jekyll and Hyde.
And I was terrified of the monster
That you could foster.
Jen wrote: "do u mean holiday themed writing or writing during the holidays? if the second, DEFINATELY! we had a 1/2 day yesterday, today, and 2moro so i get home really early and write. i will be writing on t..."eh...holiday-themed writing.
Jen wrote: "oh and THANKS!"but of course =P
Jen wrote: "**MONSTER**Everywhere I go, I hear your name,
Driving me slowly insane.
I don’t want to listen anymore
To the lies about how you were before.
They wait for me everywhere I go to say
That th..."
where do you get the ideas to write the kind of subject matter that you do?
T-Rose wrote: "Jen wrote: "do u mean holiday themed writing or writing during the holidays? if the second, DEFINATELY! we had a 1/2 day yesterday, today, and 2moro so i get home really early and write. i will be ..."ummmm.... maybe-- i haven't really planned to but I will probably write one or two:)
hey everyone--i'm working on a new story that i will post later or 2moro. i am in love with the idea so maybe it will actually get finished.
who hoo im going to read it and post comment today =)
Jen wrote: "PLZ let me know what you think of my new story!http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2..."
jen, i thought what you wrote was a great start to an awesome mystery. you always do a great job with detailing the situations you put your characters in. i particularly appreciated the immediacy of the setting. i felt like i was right there next to your main character. can't wait to see where the story goes. please post more soon =)
thanks so much! i really have no clue as to whats going to happen next. i just had this idea on my school bus and thought it would make a really cool story:) but dont worry i'll probably work on it more in a little bit.
trust me. im not worried. but im glad that you continue to write stories. i know that you prefer your poetry.
lol yeah its just more my style i guess.
Should Have KnownI should have known.
Being with you would get me nowhere but alone.
I am broken hearted
Now that we have parted.
I gave you my soul. I gave you my love.
But when you saw her, you gave me a shove.
Never have I been more hurt and in pain
Than when you left me for her in a vain
Attempt to get something new
Because I wasn’t good enough for you.
Trying to stop you, I grabbed your hand
But you already had your mind set to disband.
Repeatedly I called and called
But you didn’t listen so I bawled.
Then he came along to help me
And I let him because, thanks to you, I am free.
When I was with him and saw her laughing with you
I would wonder if you could, would you undo
What you did to my heart so fragile?
Would you return to your damsel?
But then I remember, I have someone else too
And he helped me get over you.
Then in just a while
I see you without her. Without a smile.
It just goes to show
You reap what you sow.
When you take hearts and make them brake
Yours too will be filled with ache.
So now you walk alone.
You should have known.
very good. it's a sad story with a happy ending believe it or not
**Rejection**With every girl he flirts around
But when he sees me with my sad frown
I don’t get a smile, wave, or hug
And if I ask him something he will only shrug.
Everyone surrounds him and gives him adoration
But with me he will not have a conversation.
Not important enough for his affection
I am filled with rejection.
Even from him a kind gesture,
Would make me feel better.
But I am done with wishing.
And to think I used to be the only one listening.
cool-ee-o as usual =) does it seem like im always the first to read your posts?
lol yeah, not too many ppl read them. its basically u, amina, and kel.
**Wilt**In this dark gloom
No flower can bloom
But they would die still
Because they couldn’t survive this chill.
Their petals would wilt and fall to the ground
Making hardly any sound.
Blowing apart in the wind going by
Churning around up in the dark sky.
Traveling across a vast barren field
Gusting forward, but then they heeled.
Then down they cascade
And from sight and mind they slowly fade.
**Willow Tree**Oh willow, willow, willow tree
How I love to sit under thee
Oh willow tree.
Oh willow, willow, willow tree
How I love the shade you provide
Oh willow tree.
Oh willow, willow, willow tree
How I love the sight of your cascading branches
Oh willow tree.
Oh willow, willow, willow tree
How I love the smell of your tiny blossoms
Oh willow tree.
Oh willow, willow, willow tree
How I love to sway on the swing strung on you
Oh willow tree.
Oh willow, willow, willow tree
How I love leaning against your trunk
Oh willow tree.
Oh willow, willow, willow tree
How I love looking at my initials in your bark
Oh willow tree.
Oh willow, willow, willow tree
How I love gazing at the world surrounding you
Oh willow tree.
Oh willow, willow, willow tree
How I love the silence you are surrounded in
Oh willow tree.
Oh willow, willow, willow tree
How I am so sad I have to leave
Goodbye willow, willow, willow tree.
Jen wrote: "**Wilt**In this dark gloom
No flower can bloom
But they would die still
Because they couldn’t survive this chill.
Their petals would wilt and fall to the ground
Making hardly any sound.
Blo..."
awww....this is beauty. i love how it flows. and somehow it makes me wanna cry. it's death in a pleasant form. you captured that quite nicely. and this is also new to from you. i'm not used to this subject matter from you. fresh.
Jen wrote: "**Willow Tree**Oh willow, willow, willow tree
How I love to sit under thee
Oh willow tree.
Oh willow, willow, willow tree
How I love the shade you provide
Oh willow tree.
Oh willow, wil..."
ahahahaha...i couldn't help but to laugh when i finished this one. the end did it! the whole poem was bubbly and happy with the rhythm it automatically imparts on the reader, but then it became very personal at the mention of the "carved name" i loooved that line. great job jen. as always.
thanks t-rose! some ppl were saying it was too repetative but that is what i liked about writing it:)
