Writers Unite discussion
Writers H-M
>
Jen's writing
message 201:
by
Amina
(new)
Oct 27, 2010 03:34AM
Yeh, I agree wiv Rose. This is sumthin different... i like it =)
reply
|
flag
variety is golden...great job... i love it...wow...:)
dont worry guys i'll get to posting something soon!
Okay guys i finally had time to write a POTD!!!! (HIP HIP HOORAY!) it may not be that great cuz now i'm a little rusty but let me know what you think:*Fire*
I tear the pages of my heart
And the rolling tears start.
The people I love no longer care.
The people I love are no longer aware,
Of me giving back to them.
Giving them all I have with no return has made me numb.
I let go and give in
I let go and they win.
In my heart they kindle a fire,
All the people I have falsely admired.
No longer do I await their praise,
For they caused my heart to blaze.
My heart now slowly burns
And for the blame they can all take turns
For my fiery heart was not an act of one
And the chances to escape my flaming wrath are none.
When I gave sweetness
And all I asked for was completeness
I was given emptiness,
And left to wander in a dark abyss.
Now shrouded in black with my eyes forever closed to light
They left me by myself to fight
And the only thing I have is my heart on fire
And the burning, making me a writer.
may not be great?! AWESOME. EPIC. TOTALLY COOL. I WANT IT!LOL, sorry, I keep asking u for ur oh-so-awesome poems :) but seriously, they are so oh-so-awesome. can u send me this one?
of course! i dont mind at all:) thanks actually, i wasnt sure what i thought about this one, but i guess its alright.
POTD*BROKEN MIRROR*
The world
Is shattered.
No longer
Do the puzzle pieces
Fit.
Everything
Misplaced,
Disjointed.
Smoking ruins.
Just another sign of our
Destruction.
No one left
From this damage.
We are all now mist
Rising,
Floating around
And looking.
Looking at what
We caused.
Nothing living
Survived.
And our new pale figures
Gliding and hovering
Above ground
Take in our horrible surroundings.
We have
Nothing to say.
But are
Forever
Silenced anyway.
We cannot see
One another,
Only the unfortunate
Ending
Of our world.
But there is
One way to see.
A broken mirror.
Only that can show
Your old reflection
From before this
Nightmare.
wow jen...what a way to make your reappearance here. i see you haven't lost your touch. that being said...i adore this poem. its breath taking and quite unexpected considering what you usually write about (no pun intended). in this one, you throw the true at us and it just...sinks in. it pummels me. nice job. very nice
thanks! i have found my way back to the beauty of free verse. this is how i started and then somehow i stopped and picked up rhyming, but i like fv better. i think it just sounds better. and this is for a group contest- do u think i should enter it? like the poem makes sense right?
to answer both of your questions: absolutely. but it would be difficult to choose which poem for you to enter. they're all so good!
oh it has to be this one cuz the topic/subject is broken mirror (which is how this poem was inspired) so i'll post it now thanks!
o okay. well good luck with the contest. you write like a winner.
Jen wrote: "oh it has to be this one cuz the topic/subject is broken mirror (which is how this poem was inspired) so i'll post it now thanks!"lol i jut realized that you're talking about the contest at the art of writing group hahaha. o man i just now saw it. well good luck anyway. i haven't decided whether im gonna post for that contest. we'll see
u should post something! just whip something up real quick:) so far only one other grl posted and she is one of the judges... i think?
lol like i said, i'll see. *blushes* gosh didn't know my sh@t was popular demand all of a sudden
r u kidding? lol- its been all the rage!
wat sht, Rose? Lol, sorry but I got comfused there.gud luck Jen girl! I bet u'll win!
KEL- yeah i dont think judges should be allowed to write or it wouldnt b fair. AMINA- Thanks I hope i win! that would b awesome:)
Just finished POTD! i hope u enjoy. i wrote in free verse again so tell me what u think:)Thanks!*ALONE*
I trace with
Trembling fingers
The tears
Pouring down
My face.
The freezing
Night air
Comes in through the window,
Slightly ajar.
The wisps of wind
Whisper words of
Wistfulness.
I shiver
From the chill
But that
Is not all.
Alone
Is what I am
But hate to be.
Alone
Is what I
Asked for
And now
Want
To return.
Alone
Is what I
Deserve.
Alone
Is what I
Will
Forever
Be.
*I DON'T UNDERSTAND*Why is it
That everyone wants me to disappear?
To go away,
Step aside,
Move along,
Pick up the pace.
Why is it that no one has time to listen
When I speak?
Only time when I am not prepared?
Why do people not understand
The pressure they put me under?
How is it that the people we love
Can be so clueless?
Yet those we don’t think of
Seem to know us better?
What do I have to do
Or say
To make people stop and
Listen?
Must I yell on the top of my lungs?
Or scream it to the heavens?
Is it that I have been doing
something wrong this whole time?
Sometimes I worry if I am
Visible.
For the way people treat me
Makes me think otherwise.
I feel as though they do not
See me
Standing there
Sitting here
Doing this
Saying that.
I feel as though I
Do not belong
With the people who surround me.
Do I not give them
What they want?
Is that the reason
I am so easily forgot?
Wow, I love that second one =) maybe because my brains slow in poetry and it was easier to understand xP but awesome. way to go *thumbs up*Jen, check out my NaNo story if u hv tym :)
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...
Thanks guys:) and of course i'll read ur story!
no problemo.lookin forward to what u have to say abt it :)
*Change*New to used
Love to hate
Young to old
Clueless to wise
Unsure to confident
Day to night
Sunny to rain
Trustful to suspicious
Dependent to independent
Live to dead
Everything needs to change
For better or worse
hehe, u have two, devoted fans Jen. me and rose :P
Yeah thanks you guys I can always count on you!
Here is my POTD*Bleeding Ink*(not sure of title)
Warily,
I pick up the
Jagged
Pieces of my
Broken heart,
Not wanting to cut myself
On the fragile
Tiny bits of crushed
Red.
The doctors slowly
Stitch it back
Together
But with thread
Black as ink.
They must not have realized,
Ink bleeds.
Now my heart,
Once sparkling red,
Has black
Seeping
Into every
Crack and crevice
Which were formed
When he
Ripped it out,
Shattered it,
And left the pieces
On the floor
For the wind
To blow
Away.
huh? it is right up there ^. Bleeding Ink
LOL we posted togheter!review of POFD
*hides behind door* that shook me up. That is like the deepest thing u've wrote, it shocked me to the core. This matches so much to my NaNo story :) love it
really you think it is my best work so far?!
best among many others. but the deepest :)
YES! I really really really really like this one so I'm really really happy you think it is the deepest! hip hip hooray:)
awww, I really, really, really like this one too :) it's just really comprehensive and deep and awesome!u didn't read my story Jen :(
I know I am really sorry, but I promise to read it today! I was busy yesterday, but I dont have anything to do today. okay? now turn that frown upside down:)
LOL evryone said they'd read it yesterday, but no one did. No worries, I'm ok! wenevr u hv tym... :)
I read the first chapter yesterday and I LOVED it! If I have time today I will finish reading it, but if not then 2moro for sure:)
great! awesome. just tll me wat u think on there :) leave a review or watevr
I left one for the first chapter, but I'll add another for the rest. Great job by the way!
ur welcome:) I just finished my POTD so here it is:*Rain*
I stand here listening to the pitter patter,
Wondering how such tiny drops of water can create such clatter.
And as I watch, each one splatters
And as I watch, each one shatters.
I stand here with an umbrella in the rain,
Letting the wind blow away my pain.
I watch sadly and in vain
As each drop hits the ground and is slain.
Then suddenly the water is pouring
And the sky starts loudly roaring.
Into me the fast coming droplets bore
Since a gust of wind made my umbrella soar.
Now drenched and entirely wet
Coming out this far from home I regret.
And in this chaos, the way home I forget,
But then hope fills me when I see a silhouette.
I try to call to make my presence known,
But by the whirling wind my words are blown
And the opposite direction they have flown.
So since the person cannot hear I am left in the rain alone.
