Writers Unite discussion

66 views
Writers H-M > Jen's writing

Comments Showing 151-200 of 490 (490 new)    post a comment »

message 151: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) That broken poem was totally cool, Jen. evn if it didn't rhyme =)


message 152: by Jen (new)

Jen | 347 comments thanks!


message 153: by Jen (new)

Jen | 347 comments Here is my completed cliffhanger:

Halloween Haunting
Luke Smith. He is the boy who ventured into Jasper Mansion exactly ten years ago on Halloween night and never came out. A rumor like that can spread far and wide which is how I got dared to follow in Luke’s footsteps. Jasper Mansion is the scariest place on the block with its broken windows, shaggy, untrimmed grass, and the scrawny trees reaching their long branches into the sky. The mansion got its name from its owner, Jack Jasper who looked even creepier than this legend sounds. He had short black hair, cropped close to his head, grubby, slim fingers, and on top of all that he had pale blue eyes. If ever you had the rare chance of seeing him it would probably have been him digging in his backyard. He wore dirty coveralls, digging boots, and always had a spade in his hand. I remember my first look at Jack and it is one I will never forget. Once I was taking a stroll down the road and that’s when I saw him, the famous Jack Jasper. He was digging in his backyard, which I could see because I was on top of a slope, and after taking one last scoop of dirt he threw up his arms, still clinging tightly to his spade, and let out a long, low howl. I was paralyzed in place by him shaking his shovel and the moonlight hitting it so it sparkled and casted a glow on the faint traces of red on his coveralls and spade. After that I made sure to avoid the Jasper Mansion, going out of my way so I would not have to walk by it and relive that horrible memory. Unfortunately, now I have been dared to go back. So tomorrow night, not only am I, Mia Jones, going to prove myself toughest of all the kids on the block by following in Luke Smith’s footsteps, but I will also survive what others believe to be impossible, Halloween night in the Jasper Mansion.
Tonight is Halloween night and I am on a dare to spend the whole night by myself in the haunted mansion. It is a dark night with the moon looming high above in the midnight sky shining down on me like a bright spotlight. Trick-or-treaters have left the long, winding street completely deserted because this is where the neighborhood’s haunted mansion sits. Peering through the broken glass window I check out the scene inside. Slowly, I stand up, stretch out my arms and legs, and start the walk up the old, creaky porch. With me I carry a backpack with a few snacks, a flashlight, water bottle, and my cell phone which the rules state I am only allowed to use in case of emergency. I have on a pair of old jeans, an orange tee with a pumpkin for Halloween spirit, a light sweatshirt in case it gets chilly inside the mansion, and an old pair of sneakers. Reaching the door I slowly crack it open letting a small shaft of light inside which illuminates the shadowy room. Hesitantly, I walk inside with one last look outside at the group of my friends who dared me into this nightmare.
The room I first walk into is the library. It smells musty with the thousands of old books lining the walls. I grab my flashlight from my backpack to light up the dimly lit room so I can see where I am walking. Already my pulse is quickening with anxiety for I have a feeling something bad is going to happen in this house tonight. Warily, I walk further into the mansion which is how I start my search of the various rooms. As I go to walk out of the library I am spooked when I hear a low breathing sound coming from an area near the reading chairs. I go back to investigate, but find nothing other than a squeaky floorboard so I go ahead with my search.
I continue moving and reach the dining room which has a long, elegant table with seats for twelve, and fine china placed at each setting, along with dishes. Slightly shaking is a crystal chandelier hanging by a thread on the ceiling and I wonder if there is a light switch that I can use to turn it on. Then there is a sudden strong gust of wind from a broken window and the cord on the chandelier snaps and comes crashing down. I have just enough time to jump into the room next to me since I was standing by the doorway. Shining my flashlight into the dining room I see only fragments of cracked crystal covering the table and floor. I take a deep breath for I could have been seriously injured by the falling light fixture if I had not jumped into the adjacent room.
Moving my small amount of light about the room lets me know I am now in the kitchen. My light gleams off the dull pots, pans, knives, spoon, and other cooking utensils. I take a walk around the tight kitchen and find it is filled with two stoves, a refrigerator, some cabinets, a huge sink, and a large freezer. As I creep slowly to the next room being cautious not to bump into anything the hanging knives, spoons, ladles, and spatulas come crashing down with a loud clatter. Thankfully I was not near the front of the kitchen where they were located or else I may have been stabbed in the foot. I figure like before it was a gust of wind that blew everything down and tell myself not to freak out, that everything was going to be okay. However I start to believe this mansion is really being haunted by ghosts. Wanting to get away from the knives as soon as possible, I make a quick exit into the next room.
Now I am in a room that I figure to be the living room with dusty sofas covered with white sheets, a century or more year old grand piano, and so many candles it would take me days to count them all. Pictures of men and women with black hair and pale blue eyes decorate the walls. I believe they are ancestors of Jack and begin to lean in closer for a better look when I hear a tapping sound coming from behind the picture. I jumped back in surprise and suddenly the numerous candles spring to life with long orange blazes of flickering fire. Terrified, I run out into the hallway and see a stairwell which I hastily ascend. Once I reach the top I look to see that either way I walk down this hallway there seems to be no end. I decide to turn right and walk into the first door on my left. As quietly as a field mouse I turn the knob and sneak into the next room.
A bedroom is where I am now and by the look of it I would say it belonged to a woman. I find this strange for I do not remember seeing a woman ever living or visiting Jasper Mansion. There are pearl necklaces hung on a necklace holder, scarves draped on chairs and benches, and lipsticks, coin purses, and hair accessories strewn about. I am now officially worried so I reach into by backpack for my cell phone to let somebody, anybody, know what was going on. When I find it shoved at the bottom of my bag the screen does not light up and I realize I have a dead battery so I have no way of calling people. I decide to just walk out of the house, return to my friends and explain to them what happened. As I start to leave the room I notice a trace of red on the vanity mirror and move closer to see what it is. Written in wobbly letters are the words “Beware of,” but then the red just forms a diagonal line down the mirror. I figure the person writing this must have been forced to stop writing by something or someone. I can no longer take the strangeness or creepiness of this mansion so I dash out the room as fast as I can. Just as I enter the hallway the door slams itself shut behind me. I then begin to hear the breathing and tapping sounds from before so I run even quicker down the steps. I must have been going too fast for I tripped and tumbled down the staircase. Out of my hand flies my flashlight and then it hits the ground and breaks. My head was killing me and when I reached up I had a gash on my forehead and blood was slowly trickling down my cheek. I stand up, but am beginning to feel dizzy and it seems that the rooms are madly spinning about making it hard for me to navigate my way through the unfamiliar mansion.
I know that in order to reach the front door and escape this living nightmare I must retrace my steps and go through each of the rooms I have been in already. The first room I stumble into is the living room where all the candles are still ablaze along now with the fireplace. I trip and fall over everything in my path because I am in such a hurry. I finally exit the flaming room and enter the kitchen where I observe the cutting board and the knife slashes in it spelling the word “hurry”. I do as the message tells me and continue on my path toward freedom. My injury is making the room spin which makes me slip and bash my head into the cabinets. After getting my footing and clearing my head slightly I make my way into the dining room. Remembering the chandelier accident I take my time for I do not want to fall into the sharp crystal that litters every inch of the room.
The library. I am now at my starting point and so very close to being safe. My head is throbbing and it is getting hard to keep moving on because more blood is dripping down my face leaving a trail everywhere I go. I stagger as I bump into side tables, stacks of books, reading chairs, and lamps, all of which I cannot see due to the lack of light. When I reach the door and turn the knob the door will not move. I panic and start to bang on the door. I try to scream, but no one will hear me because I cannot utter a sound. Tears begin to pour out my eyes and mix with the blood making my face a mess. I take a few deep breaths and calm myself down for I know hysteria is not going to help me escape this cursed and wicked place.
Cloth is what I look for so I can use it for a bandage. I notice the billowing curtains at the broken glass window. I walk over with caution and precision and tear a piece of cloth off and gingerly wipe my streaked face with it. After cleaning my face I take another strip of fabric and tie it around my head so the blood no longer drips. My next goal is to find a light switch for at least one of these lamps so I can sit and think. Searching and searching for a light switch proves fruitless when I find nothing so I decide to just sit down. Then out of the corner of my eye I see something move. I turn around and see a figure in the shadows. They know I saw them and they begin to creep toward me little by little.


message 154: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) No poem today? =(


message 155: by Jen (new)

Jen | 347 comments i am workingon it now, but i have been so busy writing this ^ assignment that i havent written any poems:( i'll post it here soon i promise!


message 156: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) U better *gives a stern look* U didn't evn post one yesetrday


message 157: by Jen (last edited Oct 23, 2010 09:28AM) (new)

Jen | 347 comments I know i am really srry but i have been soooooo busy! here is todays:
*You're not Sorry*

I say I’m sorry.
You don’t care.
I say I’m sorry.
You act like I’m not there.
I say I’m sorry.
You do not listen.
I say I’m sorry.
Your eyes don’t even glisten.
I say I’m sorry.
You give me silence.
I say I’m sorry.
You don’t give me guidance.
I say I’m sorry.
You do not accept.
I say I’m sorry.
You don’t even look upset.
I say I’m sorry.
You turn around.
I say I’m sorry
You only frown.
I say I’m sorry.
You forgot.
I say I'm sorry.
You do not.


message 158: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) omg, omg, omg, omg, omg... this is my fave one yet!! plsss send this one to me so I can put it up on my website. ww, I just love this poem!! ♥


message 159: by Jen (new)

Jen | 347 comments ok sure i'll send it now:)


message 160: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) thanks girly! *high five* u'll make my website hit! :P


message 161: by Jen (last edited Oct 22, 2010 02:15PM) (new)

Jen | 347 comments Heres another one:
*Me and You*
I stop
You go.
I cry
You laugh.
I fall
You fly.
I love
You hate.
I forgive
You forget.
I trust
You pretend.
I can
You can’t.


message 162: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) Give it a title! the poor thing.

nice one =)


message 163: by Jen (new)

Jen | 347 comments i cant think of one! any ideas?


message 164: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) Me and You? The differennce between me n u? lol, dnt ask me! I'm nvr good at this stuff :/


message 165: by Jen (new)

Jen | 347 comments i think i'll go with me and you. thanks:) and dont worry i'll have plenty more over the weekend!


message 166: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) yayy, awesome! =)


message 167: by MollyRena (new)

MollyRena Hay!


message 168: by Jen (new)

Jen | 347 comments hi!


message 169: by Jen (new)

Jen | 347 comments here is another poem:
*Clouds*

Clouds are like us, in many ways.
Some are soft.
Floating high above our heads.
Little boys and girls
laying on the grass.
Pointing to clouds
explaining what shapes they see.
These clouds bring joy
with thier whispy bodies
balancing in the sky.
The other clouds are storm clouds.
Dark and ominous.
Low in the infinite sky,
rumbling.
People run inside
hiding from the murky,
lurking clouds.
These clouds bring destruction
with thunder and lighning.
But the world is full of opposites.
Happy and sad.
Right and wrong.
And then theres white and black.
brightness and darkness.
But what I believe is that,
if everything was the same
and there were no opposites,
then no one would be unique.
Not when everything is good
or everything is bad.
So the way I see it,
we shouldn't worry about if something is
good or bad,
important to others or just ourselves,
We should just take life as it is
and be care free.
Laying on the ground,
watching good clouds
and even stormy clouds
roll by.


message 170: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) Wow, this is really deep, but I think opposites wld match more as a title. just my opinion, u dnt hv to =)


message 171: by MollyRena (new)

MollyRena Thats so cool really deep!


message 172: by Jen (new)

Jen | 347 comments i'll think about it thanks again!


message 173: by MollyRena (new)

MollyRena YOU ARE WELLCOMED!!


message 174: by Jen (new)

Jen | 347 comments :)


message 175: by Jen (new)

Jen | 347 comments one more poem:

*This is for You*
Why when I look to see
You gazing at me,
You quickly turn around,
Once again letting me down.
I know you see the look in my eyes.
So how do you not realize?
This look is not for anybody
This look is for a certain somebody.
You should know this is not untrue,
This is for you.


message 176: by Jen (new)

Jen | 347 comments thank you, thank you!


message 177: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) Ok, second best! It's soo tru


message 178: by Jen (new)

Jen | 347 comments Thanks! And dont worry there is plenty more where that came from over this weekend. i'll try writing a bunch since i didnt write any for two days.


message 179: by Jen (last edited Oct 23, 2010 01:11PM) (new)

Jen | 347 comments ok here is my poem of the day:

My last crush was on you
But then you went and blew,
It away with your games and words.
And now this year you have heard.
You hurt me but I wouldn’t show it.
I would not show my heart split.
And now you’ve come back again
But my heart does not belong to you like then.
You say everything I wanted to hear
But that was so last year.
I don’t want you anymore.
So leave me alone because I will continue to ignore.
So stop with the whispers,
The love I had for you no longer lingers.
Save your breath,
Because your constant lies only spell death.
Don't tell me what you want to say.
Because I know you’re not here to stay.
I’m not doing an encore
Just to have you break me more.
I am not going to go through,
Another year of loving you.
You were the one I thought I wanted
Then I was teased and taunted.
Now you come looking for what was there
But for you I have no more care.
So go find another girl
Cause, this one isn’t yours to twirl.
When I see you I will always feel pain
In my bleeding heart that has been slain.
And I know this is true
The sword was held by you.


message 180: by Jen (last edited Oct 24, 2010 01:26PM) (new)

Jen | 347 comments second poem of the day:

*let you go*

When I looked at you what was I thinking?
When I looked at you I must’ve been dreaming
For you see
There isn’t a you and me.
When I looked at you I must’ve been crazy
Now I’m falling for you lately
And I know
I’m going to have to let you go.
I look at you and I want you so badly
But now I’ve missed my turn for you to have me.
I can’t give you my heart even though I want to
Because I know that I’ve already lost you.
And though once upon a time I wished on a star
That you and I would runaway far,
It was a fantasy from a long time ago
I know I’ve got to let you go.


message 181: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) I love these two alot, but the first one is so my fave now!

One mistake u made in the second poem: and though once upon a time 'a' wished on a star. It should be I.

I added ur poem u sent me to my site: http://www.muslimteensclub.com/poems/...


message 182: by Jen (new)

Jen | 347 comments thanks so much! good eye i changed my mistake:P


message 183: by Jen (new)

Jen | 347 comments POTD:
*Free*
I breathe
I seethe
I bleed
I need
I deceive
I lead
I plead
I leave
I believe
I grieve
I am free


message 184: by Jen (new)

Jen | 347 comments 2nd POTD:

*Happy Ever After*

I don’t know why I asked
About who you loved last.
I guess I just wanted to make sure it was me
Before I went and set you free.
Secretly I may still want you
But I should know that we are through.
I realize I’ve already had my chance
At our happy-ever-after romance.
No longer is it my turn,
And you aren’t looking for me to return.
Just give me the chance to say
I’ll never forget how you carried my heart away.
And our memories I’ll always remember
And you will always be my defender.
So now my knight
Think of me tonight.


message 185: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) Happy ever after's sweet... the one before is so fast! LOL, good ones


message 186: by Rosalyn (new)

Rosalyn Leigh (batistebespeaks) Jen wrote: "so now this is what i have:

Luke Smith. He is the boy who ventured into Jasper Mansion exactly ten years ago on Halloween night and never came out. A rumor like that can spread far and wide w..."


jen i absolutely adore the changes you made to this paragraph. its awesome. you stayed true to yur descriptive nature while keeping the dreaded "long-windedness" on a leash. you did a great job in your detaiing of j.j. its quite vivid and creepy. and now you can move into the next paragraph beginning with halloween night. great job girl. i'll be reading your new poems later today kay'? ttyl


message 187: by Jen (new)

Jen | 347 comments thanks so much! i feel really good about this and can't wait to get my grade back. i may even finish the cliffhanger just for fun:)and no rush on the poems:)


message 188: by Jen (new)

Jen | 347 comments ok so here is my poem of the day. it is a little bit odd/strnage cuz i was playing around and was trying something new.

*Nature*

I sit under this tree
Under this tree is me.
Passing by me is a lazy bee.
A bee lazily passes by me.
I look up through the tree’s canopy.
Looking through the canopy is me.
Cooling me off is the breeze.
A breeze is what cools me.
In nature I am free.
Free in nature is me.


message 189: by Rosalyn (new)

Rosalyn Leigh (batistebespeaks) Jen wrote: "Here is my completed cliffhanger:

Halloween Haunting
Luke Smith. He is the boy who ventured into Jasper Mansion exactly ten years ago on Halloween night and never came out. A rumor like that ca..."



ooo i like this. very creepy. knew you had it in you =)


message 190: by Rosalyn (new)

Rosalyn Leigh (batistebespeaks) Jen wrote: "I know i am really srry but i have been soooooo busy! here is todays:
*You're not Sorry*

I say I’m sorry.
You don’t care.
I say I’m sorry.
You act like I’m not there.
I say I’m sor..."



niiiiice


message 191: by Rosalyn (new)

Rosalyn Leigh (batistebespeaks) Jen wrote: "here is another poem:
*Clouds*

Clouds are like us, in many ways.
Some are soft.
Floating high above our heads.
Little boys and girls
laying on the grass.
Pointing to clouds
explaining wh..."



daunting and frighteningly honest. i never would have thought to compare our world, ourselves to clouds. it's just another way of saying that we can never be free


message 192: by Rosalyn (new)

Rosalyn Leigh (batistebespeaks) Jen wrote: "ok here is my poem of the day:

My last crush was on you
But then you went and blew,
It away with your games and words.
And now this year you have heard.
You hurt me but I wouldn’t show it.
..."



whoa...easy girl. those last lines exceed deep


message 193: by Jen (new)

Jen | 347 comments thanks!(thats good right?) i have been working hard at keeping up with my poem a day and it is hard work! i'm gonna have to think of something new to write about.


message 194: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) Jen wrote: "ok so here is my poem of the day. it is a little bit odd/strnage cuz i was playing around and was trying something new.

*Nature*

I sit under this tree
Under this tree is me.
Passing by me i..."


Wow, multiple ways of saying things! coolio


message 195: by Rosalyn (new)

Rosalyn Leigh (batistebespeaks) Jen wrote: "thanks!(thats good right?) i have been working hard at keeping up with my poem a day and it is hard work! i'm gonna have to think of something new to write about."


definitely good. and ya keep up the persistence to write a poem a day. that's a great way to stay strong in the game as well as ahead of it. good job jen XD


message 196: by Jen (new)

Jen | 347 comments thanks! i have a GREAT idea for my poem today so i gotta get workin:)


message 197: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) yayy, I cant wait to read it tmrw. it's late here now =/


message 198: by Jen (new)

Jen | 347 comments ok so here is todays poem:
*Target*
Another one down.
I add his name to the long list
Of all the hearts she has broken.
On and off they go
And after just one day
She has already picked her next target.
And she knows she’ll get a bulls-eye.
All she does is shine her teeth
Shake her hips
Give her hair a twirl
And laugh just a little.
Then he is following her around,
Just like she wanted.
But then she gets bored
And is done with him.
Now he is broken just like the rest
When he really did try his best
To please her.
Now she is acting like she was hurt
When she is the cause of all
The broken hearts.


message 199: by Rosalyn (new)

Rosalyn Leigh (batistebespeaks) i like that its from another point of view rather than your standard 1st person. as i always say, variety is golden =)


message 200: by Jen (new)

Jen | 347 comments thanks a bunch!


back to top