Writers Unite discussion
Writers H-M
>
Jen's writing
date
newest »
newest »
i'm currentyl super excited cuz i had a great time on my first day as a freshman! Also, since I am in honors english i will be getting many writing asignments so hopefully i'kk get my mojo back! :D
Jen*Jello Monster* wrote: "thnx again t-rose. you really are a good friend:) and you certainly have once again been able to boost my confidence. unfortunately no writing was done yesterday due to my lack of time however i'm ..."I'm sorry Jen, but no i haven't had a chance to read it yet but I definitely will within the next 2 days. As is, I'm caught up in my own school work but I haven't forgotten about u! Ttyl dear :)
okay thnx! cant really talk at the moment bye
Jen*Jello Monster* wrote: "thnx again t-rose. you really are a good friend:) and you certainly have once again been able to boost my confidence. unfortunately no writing was done yesterday due to my lack of time however i'm ..."excellent job jen. i really think the chapter verses are really becoming of you! you should continue to post these, if not weekly then perhaps bi-weekly. that is, if you have the time of course. i know you've got school obligations. but once again, i am thoroughly impressed. such talent
thnx so much t-rose! quick question: did you mean continue chapter posting for this story or for a new one?
both. you should do that in general, but at the same time, i would like to see more of this particular story. it's lovely =)
*Anouncer voice* May i have your attention*mob carrying torches and pitchforks turns to speaker*
There is a work in progress poem COMING SOON!
*mob drops dangerous objects and cheers*
YAAAYYYYYYYY!!!! :D
srry it is taking me longer than expected but i wanna make it good :D
**Little Girl**Little Girl.
She carries a
Black Balloon.
It stands out
From the other children’s balloons.
One boy has
Red.
Another, Blue.
Purple balloons
Also bob up and
Down in the
Cloudless Blue Sky.
But this
Little Girl
Likes her
Black Balloon.
It soars above her head
As she walks down the
Winding sidewalks.
Gusty winds blow the
Balloon and
Little Girl holds on Tighter.
Terror
Grips her Heart as
The string to her Lovely,
Black Balloon is Torn
From her grasp.
Running.
Falling.
Chasing.
Little Girl follows her Balloon.
Reaching up high into the
Sky
To try and reach its string,
But she cannot.
Finally it leads her to a
Murky area with Dark alleys and
Scraggy trees reaching their
Barren limbs into the now dark sky for
Help.
Black Balloon
Gets caught on the top branch of the
Tallest tree.
Little Girl must follow her Balloon
And starts to go to the
Tree.
But as she passes an alley,
She hears voices.
Little girl casts her eyes down
Toward two men ARGUING
Down the alley.
They are fighting and she is
Scared because she
Is
Just
a
Little
Girl
Who wants
Her Balloon.
Now the men are SCREAMING at one another.
Something about
Power.
Something about
Drugs.
Some things that this
Little Girl
Just doesn’t
Understand.
Then one man sees
The Little Girl.
SHOUTS at the other man
About
The Little Girl.
She tries to run Away.
Tries to
Escape and
Float high in the sky
Like
Her
Black Balloon,
But Little Girl doesn’t know
People
Cannot
Fly.
Man reaches into his jacket and
Pulls something
Out.
It is too dark now for
Little Girl to see.
She is just
Trying to get to her Balloon
High up in that
Tree.
One last Step toward her
Tree that
Little Girl
Takes.
One last breath the
Little Girl
Takes.
Before
The Drop of Metal
Pierces her
Heart.
Soaring.
Up.
High.
Little Girl
Floats Higher
Than her
LITTLE
Balloon
Ever
Could.
115 lines. wow that is my lengthiest poem ever i think
JEN!! JEN YOU BEAST, YOU!! O MIE GAUD!What in the hell?
This is frickin’ fantabulous! I am just absolutely stoked out of my mind! Is this really you? This is violently amazing. Seriously, I am just sittin’ here in B@N hyperventilating…I ahven’t been this moved in so long, I just don’t know what to do with my composure.
Why?
Because I’ve lost it!
This is so deep and cheeky, dark and lyrical. Content-wise, it is so far from what I am used to hearing from you. I love the originality here and the persistently vigorous enigmatic feel to this piece. I was so scared the whole time how this was going to end because it went from slightly playful then abruptly amped me up t a mode of luscious anxiety. I am shaking. Your words do this to me every single time, but I swear…I swear that this time, I am beyond worthy of your lines. Ho-lee-sheee-it!
Well, first let me admit that right after reading ur comment i had to go back and re-read by poem. I am super glad you like it because I am absolutely in LOVE with it too. I don't want to say that I enjoyed writing this piece cuz that sounds kind of creepy. But I just got this idea of doing a poem on a bullet and then it evolved to a little girl getting shot and somehow I ended up with amazing thing. Also, I really wanted to stray from my love-y dove-y stuff because I am getting tired of it myself as I''m sure all of you are. I realy wanted something that had contrast in it. Something very innocent, but yet edgy at the same time. I originally planned on this whole setup thing that I was gonna do with the lines and versus, but once I got into the story it was just all thrown out the window. Even I was scared to see how it ended because I just wanted to keep going. Even I did not expect the story to go where it did. Everytime I read it my heart aches more and more, you know? Sometimes you read a poem and it's good the first time, but once you keep rereading it, it just loses something. However, with this poem I am still shcoked at the end each time. So now I have set a new goal for myself to keep up this type of work. Also, I kind of enjoy delving into this kind of dark and ,as you said, lyrical stlye of poetry. Also, you are totally worthy of my writing. I need you to help me because I would never have been able to create this kind of story without all your advice and encouragment throughout my writing. So I am very much thankful for all you say about my work. So yeah Ho-lee-sheee-it!
hey hey hey, love, that is what i am here for. and yes, i am so proud of you. you have truly grown since last year when i first started reading your work. you actually take the time to analyze what you've done and you think about the things that could make it better. and not just better, but you are exploring your options. i love that you wrote this. it was a spot on, shall we say, experimentation? so now, i want more!!lol
**Everlasting Love**Foolishly
All my
Love was
Lost
In your arms.
‘Never again’ I told myself, ’would I
Go back.’
After seeing, thinking, of you once,
Gone is my silly little heart. Because
After all
It
Never really stopped being yours.
Forgetting you can never be done.
Out of the corner of my eye I spot you and my heart is spiraling.
Rescue me from my torture and I will rescue you from yours.
Yearning for you, waiting for your love, I will always do.
Our love will
Ultimately come alive.
sounds like wedding lyrics =) niiice
thnx:) did you notice what was different about this one?
Hahahahaha FALLING AGAIN FOR YOU baby!
I wanted to do an acrostic like pooem :P thanks girl
If anyone wants some new alternaive music or something different you could listen to my obsession, Florence and the Mahine ;)
wow it has been forever since i've written and still i dont really have anything. just a small english assignment. we had to write a four line imagist poem about a common house item. can anybody guess what mine is?:It is a sparkling portal
letting me see inside and out.
It is a crystal key
to who's up and about.
hmmmm....i wanna say a mirror...? lol but don't tell the answer just yet if i am wrong. i wanna guess again.how u been tho? man skool is cray-zee here
nope not a mirror :) i'm good thanks for asking. my school is also crazy, whats goin on with you?
a snowglobe? lol im doin alright. still livin for ink n loose-leafs =)
no not a snowglobe but good guess. and good to hear you're still alive ;D
Here is an assignment for my enlgish class:***Nature’s Garnet***
Up high on a branch
Is an orb with a scarlet aura
Masking its ivory core.
Its auburn stem keeps it tied to the tree.
I reach up and grasp
The sleek, glossy fruit of the branch.
My fingers tighten around the heart-shaped form
As I bring it to my mouth.
I send my teeth sliding through your skin.
Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.
They sink closer to your core.
Your crisp, refreshing juice
Floods my mouth.
It’s the flavor of irony,
A confection for the tounge
But healthy as well.
Instantly I am wrapped in your fresh scent
Of fall, like being possessed by an air of delight
And simplicity,
Enriched by purity.
And so the tree gives its gift to me,
This exquisite fruit.
Here is an assignment from my creative writing class:Over my head I see a bronze butterfly,
Asleep on the black trunk
Attatched to wall just out of my reach.
I lie in my bed staring up at it
Surrounded by other butterflies of every color.
As i reach up with open hands to take down the frame resting on the trunk
I think how sad it is that they no longer can lift their wings
For they are pinned down.
Suddenly, I am filled with guilt,
My whole life I have dedicated to catching
These creatures of beauty
And taking their flight.
I have wasted my life.
AND one more :)********
I was young,
about five years old,
when I got my scar.
I fell.
I fell into the corner of the nightstand
in my parents' bedroom.
Doctors stitched me up at the hospital
and as I recovered I ate
turkey sandwhiches cut into triangles with the crust cut off.
And I watched Cinderella
It glares at me from my eyebrow
as I stare at my reflection in the mirror.
If I could, I would erase my scar.
All my life people would look at me and only see
my scar.
It happened so long ago,
I no longer remember the feelings,
I only know the story.
o boy do i know and feel a scar when i see one. my boyfriend has the most beautiful of scars....while i have the ugliest. but i shan't explain what i mean at the mo'. all i can say realyy is that you've once again done a wonderful job here. im sorry i haven't been here lately, it's just life, ya kno?
yeah i know life. and obviously i'm the one who needs to be apologizing to you and anyone who reads this since it has been AGES since i even attempted writing anything. Just high school and learnign things the hard way and all that crap. BUT one things does come from all this and that is.. that i am wiriting again! YAYAYA! whoooo! Amen! Praise the Lord! anyways so here it is. my first poem in months, years, ages, eras.
**Elijah**He walks through the hallway.
They all flick their eyes up to him; together their doting eyelashes put him in the center of their adoring windstorm.
His shoulders rise as his laugh descends upon them.
Focusing on his chuckle, their eyes close, they take in the sound of him as he passes by.
He tilts his head and then there is his smirk— lifting higher on the left side —
driving us crazy.
We tilt our heads, smirk — our mouths lifting ever so slightly higher on the left— praying that we mirror his perfection.
He shows up without invitation.
Instantly, we change plans. The light is now on him. Our attention is now on him.
He smells bitter as he comes close.
I inhale deeply, committing his smell to memory. I cough.
He wears a brown rope bracelet on his right wrist.
I imagine walking up, taking him by the wrist, leading him behind me, stopping abruptly
and turning around, pulling him one step closer to me, running me fingers around that bracelet,
wearing that bracelet as though it were mine all along.
He has calluses on his guitar-worn fingertips.
I yearn for them to caress my cheeks, tip back my head from beneath my chin,
brush my lips,
and entangle themselves in my hair.
He walks down the hall.
And we all stare after.
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...