This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion
note: This topic has been closed to new comments.
I Hate that screw!! (aka Steve sucks at driving)
date
newest »
newest »
Steve, please just find the damn screw before you get on the Vespa.I don't want to worry about half your skin winding up on the pavement because of some stupid screw.
No, of course not!It's just Steve has a long history of being, well...less than conscientious about vehicle care.
I just didn't want him to play down the importance of said screw and then hop on the Vespa and have it fall apart.
Doesn't Steve always have a screw loose?
I can't imagine him on a scooter.I remember car rides that went something like:
What are you doing?!??
Huh? Reading a magazine, we're stopped in traffic anyway.
Okay. Just Put it away when the traffic moves again.
*Steve: eyes on magazine, smoking, taking a sip of coffee starts to accelerate...*
Fuck! Watch out!!!
aaahhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha......Steve drives like I do. That's frightening.
Yep.The account of his driving methods I listed above was actually pretty mild.
goddamn southern california crazy boy.
Hey!Reaching over and honking someone else's horn is NOT acceptable in Southern California.
I KNEW someone was going to bring California into it.
GRRRRRR.....
ahhh ha ha ha ha!!!come on, you gotta admit, southern california drivers are insane. the only drivers more insane are new york city drivers... until you leave the country. then... i dunno... probably anywhere in Italy comes next.
Have you been to Miami? I swear everyone was trying to kill me on I-95.I also want to add that Oklahoma drivers are the nicest drivers I've ever witnessed. If you put your blinkers on, people will actually slow down to let you in their lane unlike the ones in New Orleans who always speed up so you have to rudely cut in without blinkers or else. And since I learned to drive in New Orleans, I was in shock when I saw people pull over and stop for emergency vehicles when I got to Oklahoma. I seriously puzzled over why people were stopping for at least a week before I figured it out. Especially when they were in the opposite lane.
Marie... that's because nowhere is very far away on those tiny islands... who would ever be in a hurry?
I've seen my share of horrifying drivers on California streets but I've also seen some crazy maneuvers here in Washington, too.Don't blame Steve's driving on California, though, it's aaaallllllll Steve.
I thought I had known aggressive driving while we living in California. That was until we moved to Arizona. The semis are out to kill you, all the time. It's a very edge-of-your-seat experience.
Sorry! I wasn't trying to defend California out of some bizarre sense of regional pride.It's just that as a Californian living in Washington I get NO END OF SHIT about crappy California drivers.
I want to say, "Look, look! That guy just hopped the curb and pulled into opposing traffic! He has Washington plates!"
Pullman may be disproportionate for bad drivers because of the college.
or playing with the volume dial of the music while I'm the driver. Don't touch my tunes!
I'm guilty of being a back seat...tune asshole?
Me too, Tesse. Bigtime.::hangs head in shame::
I even pack my own music in case the person I am driving with has..er.."questionable taste".Steve.
Well, how else am I suppose to turn off whatever crappy music the driver wants me to listen to?
It's amazing how one's most genteel actions can be so painfully misconstrued, for it's not that we Californians are malicious or uncaring drivers it's really that our benevolent motives can be complex, intricate things that are difficult for others to understand. Hence I've composed a little primer that I can only hope will alleviate any further misunderstandings.
STEVE'S GUIDE TO HAPPY MOTORING.
1.Like any San Franciscan I too know the pain of solitude that a parking spot can suffer when it's left alone to whither, and if one must cut across multiple lanes of traffic and cut you off in order to alleviate its' suffering? Please don't take offense, it's not that an attempt to be hostile, it's simply that our delicate souls resonate so deeply with urban solitude that to leave said parking spot cold & alone would be simply soul-crushing (& of course, I'm sure you'll find another parking spot later..keep looking!)
2. I believe it's the good lord who teaches us about the foolishness of children and the rod of correction. As someone who knows SEVERAL devout Christians, it would be an insult to their spiritual principles not to include this in the guide to happy motoring. And if that hand of correction is mine reaching for the horn because foolishness has been bound in the heart of some idiot who can't EVEN MAINTAIN THE F**KING SPEED LIMIT WHEN MAKING A TURN?! Who am I to stand in the way of divine retribution?
Well it's starting to pick up a little at work so I'll make the rest of these brief.
I don't care if you're Noam Chomsky, when I see you behind the wheel of an SUV I know there's a part of you that's f**king insipid.
I was discussing the "speed limit" with Sarah/Marie & there appears to be some confusion in Oregon as to what that means. Allow me to clarify, the speed limit may be misnamed. A better term would be "speed expectation" as in IF YOU'RE ONE THE 84, THE 5, OR ANY OTHER MAJOR MOTORWAY YOU HAD BEST BE GOING AT LEAST THIS SPEED, please!
Gotta get back to work, happy motoring!
STEVE'S GUIDE TO HAPPY MOTORING.
1.Like any San Franciscan I too know the pain of solitude that a parking spot can suffer when it's left alone to whither, and if one must cut across multiple lanes of traffic and cut you off in order to alleviate its' suffering? Please don't take offense, it's not that an attempt to be hostile, it's simply that our delicate souls resonate so deeply with urban solitude that to leave said parking spot cold & alone would be simply soul-crushing (& of course, I'm sure you'll find another parking spot later..keep looking!)
2. I believe it's the good lord who teaches us about the foolishness of children and the rod of correction. As someone who knows SEVERAL devout Christians, it would be an insult to their spiritual principles not to include this in the guide to happy motoring. And if that hand of correction is mine reaching for the horn because foolishness has been bound in the heart of some idiot who can't EVEN MAINTAIN THE F**KING SPEED LIMIT WHEN MAKING A TURN?! Who am I to stand in the way of divine retribution?
Well it's starting to pick up a little at work so I'll make the rest of these brief.
I don't care if you're Noam Chomsky, when I see you behind the wheel of an SUV I know there's a part of you that's f**king insipid.
I was discussing the "speed limit" with Sarah/Marie & there appears to be some confusion in Oregon as to what that means. Allow me to clarify, the speed limit may be misnamed. A better term would be "speed expectation" as in IF YOU'RE ONE THE 84, THE 5, OR ANY OTHER MAJOR MOTORWAY YOU HAD BEST BE GOING AT LEAST THIS SPEED, please!
Gotta get back to work, happy motoring!
Speed Expectation.... oh my god.... I'm having a braingasm just thinking about a world in which every Speed Limit sign said that instead.::::goes to happy place:::::
This topic has been frozen by the moderator. No new comments can be posted.
To be precise, the screw that I'm cursing today is the one for my front left Vespa turn signal which fell into the shadowy depths of my vespa, where I've searched with the magnetic pointy thing..
But as is so often the case in life , just when you need it most. A screw is no where to be found.
Damn you screw! Fine! I'll find another screw! You heartless bastard, screw!!! I hope someone dips you in battery acid, takes a baseball bat to your crispified remains, and shatters you down into the darkest recesses of hell!!!
In other words...
Please come back screw, I didn't mean it....please?