Absolutly nothing to talk about thread.

[Reads with Scotch]

Tired, sick, unable to smoke. If that is ratty then yeah, I'm ratty. My relief is still missing in action too.

[Hayley]

True but I get impatiant - I kind of want things right here and right now. That isn't the best quality to have but I've never had trouble getting what I want.

It depends, how old is the series?

[Hayley]

Thats not good, you'll find I have lots of little sayings like that - ratty, venting my spleen and my personal favourite bless your little cotton socks.

Where can he be, has he fallen down the toilet or something.

[Reads with Scotch]

Eh... I don't know a couple of years now. I think the last season was in... 03' maybe 04'.

Getting what you want when you want it isn't always a good thing. Just think how much you will appreciate Mr. Right when you find him.



Who do you think you are Dr. Phil. Heyley don’t listen to Smoker McGee here. He is a total Quack.

What a dumb ass they probably don’t use that term in the UK.

Screw you man! I’m telling you if you don’t run along and play in your colon your going to get it!

[Reads with Scotch]

Hmmm Lets have a cuss off... It cannot be anything common.




Festering anal wart would have been a good starter but has been used in many movies so I will start with:


Saddle bags

[Hayley]

I think your right, I may have a go at internet dating and see what I can find on there - the men in my town are all complete tossers, wonky dick included.

I remember hearing about it but I don't remember watching it. I think we did a bit of swapped because I loved watching Friends.

Whose Dr Phil????

[Reads with Scotch]

It is awesome that you do not know who Dr.Phil is. In an attempt at saving your soul, I will not tell you who he is. You must also promise not to Google the bastard either.

:: slaps self in face:::

Friends… really, you liked friends, when you had Coupling at your disposal. Well… I guess you didn’t really know any better.

[Hayley]

I solemnly(sp) swear not to google Dr Phil. I'm guessing he some sort of tv shrink??

I liked Friends, I will Youtube Coupling and see if I have seen anything of it. Sometimes us Brits don't know a good thing when we have it eh!!!

[Reads with Scotch]

Eh, I would leave the internet alone. (For dating purposes) You never know what you’re going to get. Crazy, someone that doesn't bathe, a guy with a nervous twitch, tearetts, flesh eating bacteria. The possibilities are endless. No a face to face is a much better route. Change your location perhaps.

[Reads with Scotch]

Apparently! Coupling is on of the few sitcoms I could watch and enjoy

[Hayley]

I would love to change my location but I can't afford to move anywhere - I would need to save up for the next ten years before I could move.
Your right but I'm running out of options, all my ex's from Bolton have managed to damage me emotionally. The one who hasn't lives miles from me and we only spilt up because went to America on a soccer scholarship - he told me he would stay if I wanted him to but I said no go, I didn't want him to hate years down the line. I regret that big time and have told him so!!

[Reads with Scotch]

Well, there is always the chance of getting back with him after school right... or did he stay in the states. That doesn't really put him out of reach either. We have hippies hear that travel around the world on patullie (sp) oil and not a penny in their pocket. This is a pretty liberal site I'm sure many would tell you how to get from there to him on a pocket full of lint and an orange peal.

[Reads with Scotch]

Alright finally, my relief. We can pick this up tomorrow.

[Hayley]

No, hes back over he now, I meet up with a couple of months back and everything is still there, in terms of the old feelings, we went through some pretty big shit while we where at college together. I didn't hear from him for about 12 months, then I got Facebook and we got back in touch. I'm not sure he's ready for a grownup relationship yet though.

[RandomAnthony]

Good morning, insomniacs and englishwomen!

[Hayley]

Morning or should that be Afternoon RA - its 3pm in the afternoon over here.

[RandomAnthony]

Oh, afternoon, then, Hayley! Is tea time soon? When exactly is tea time?

[Hayley]

I would class tea time at around 6pm and yes its not far off, my dad is making haddock monay with new potatoes, yum.

how on earth have me and Nick managed to post of sixty posts in a thread called absolutely nothing to talk about???

[Reads with Scotch]

Because nothing is a broad subject. Almost anything can fit in nothing. What are new potatoes?


See what I mean, everything fits in nothing. Remember Seinfeld? How long was that show on, years. Nothing filled years.

[Hayley]

New potatoes are little potatoes or baby potatoes.

I suppose your right Nick and I enjoy our conservation about nothing.

[Reads with Scotch]

ditto.

** Dr. Phil moment approaching **

If you truly have strong feelings for Mr. Futball then you should probably explore that. I say explore because even though you two broke it off on good terms it has been a long time. There is a good chance that you two have not only grown up quiet a bit, but also grown apart.

What you once thought cute may not be cute today. Particularly since you both have had time to expand with other people. I dated this woman back in my military life for a good long time. We ended on pretty good terms, but ended because I was moving a few thousand miles away. That can put a damper on things. So we broke it off. Still friends but honestly, I couldn’t stand her today. She would drive me completely bonkers with her constant fretting like I am some sort of child. It was cute and endearing then, today I would be driven to the brink of madness.

[Hayley]

I love the mention on Dr Phil, I promise I won't google him but you've intrigued me now.

I know what you mean, I spoke to him the other week and all the old feelings are still there, even he admits that theres something still there. He even admits that he isn't quite ready for the grownup relationship, he's still playing at being 18, I hope he realises some day soon what he could lose because I won't wait around forever.

You give some great advise - you should have your own hotline.

[Reads with Scotch]

I'm actually pretty toxic Heyley. I'm sure this all sounds pretty good at the moment, but believe me it is going to go up in smoke at any moment. I am horrible at inter-human contact and psychology. I am probably subjecting your fragile tennis ball mind to horrible scaring. You just don't know it yet, because there are no nerve endings in the brain. I find that to be a bit odd, don't you? It would seem to me that there would be more nerve endings in the brain then anywhere else. But no. Odd.

[Hayley]

That is extremely odd, considering some people believe that all pain comes from the brain, well you learn something new everyday.

Nah, your right in what you said about exploring what is there between me and Mr Futball, like you say if I was to spend more time in his company I may end up killing him and burying him the back garden, like you say things you once found cute can turn annoying quite quickly.

[Reads with Scotch]

I always found it strange that in the UK a back yard is referred to as a garden... Of course you probably think it is weird we refer to it as a yard. I think garden does sound more refined.

[Rusty]

My favorite “Britishism?” is when they use the term “you lot” whereas Americans would say “you guys”. It doesn’t sound as crass as “you guys”, and it always sounds slightly dismissive, which I like.

[Hayley]

Nick, it would depend we have a front and back garden - grass, flowers and trees. A yard would be considered to be a flagged or cemented area behind the house.

We have loads Britishism - Nick liked the venting my spleen as an express of anger. I also have lots of Hayleyism's which you will come to find through me posts, I can also have lots of what i like to call blonde moments.

[Ruth]

I call my front or back yard a garden when I want it to sound prettier

[Hayley]

I do think it depend on how you see it.

Ruth is right, at our old house we had a yard but when people where coming for a BBQ or summer drinks we would call it a garden even though it was just slabs of concert.

[Reads with Scotch]

Tap tap tap tap tap, Almost done with my last report. Almost ready to go home. WooHoo! I'm so ready.

::Breaks out into song::

Feet don't fail me now!
feet don't fail me now!

[Hayley]

haha, I've got half a day to go yet. Though it is lunch time and I'm going to enjoy a nice lasange(sp)

Shock, horror, I've actually had to do work today. Though we're still not busy.

[Reads with Scotch]

Dude your so not going home.

There will be fog.
There will be rain.
Or a stupid pilot that refuses to land.
Or the CDC will put the camp under quarantine.
Perhaps your relief won't show up.
Nuclear war will break out 28 minutes before you are suppose to board the plane, and the EM pulse will fry the electronics.
The airline will insist on you paying for the seatbelt, which you must rent before the plane can take off.
You will circle the Fairbanks airport for hours waiting for the runway to clear.
Just as the pilot starts to bring the plane in, it will experience a mechanical failure and you will die a fiery death. Slowly. Squeezing every last moment of agony out of your last moments.


Of course this is all a pointless hypothetical, because unless you finish all these reports you’re not going anywhere. Quit procrastinating.

[Reads with Scotch]

I still have one more day to go. I'm out of here Thursday morning.

[Hayley]

That was quite a post - you can't die in a fiery death, who would be my coach in being a bitch when I need to be, remember Nick I'm too nice for my own good and need to learn how to be un-nice when it is suitable - say when wonkydick is around!!!

[Reads with Scotch]

If tennis ball learned her lessons properly, then Wonkydick shouldn't be around.

Apparently your lessons haven't sunk in yet. Get down and give me twenty!

[Hayley]

I've learned that lesson, he's not around and I hope he doesn't show his face for a long time.

I'm not getting down and giving you twenty, I'm in a dress and heels.

[Reads with Scotch]

Hope and time have nothing to do with it. If this is going to work you can't back talk Master Fung Shue(sp) Besides I see nothing wrong with you doing pushups in a dress.


:: looking around for camera::

[Hayley]

I do, I don't fancy getting all hot and sweaty in my nice, smart summer work dress. I'll do 20 pushups for you at practise on saturday morning.

I won't I promise - I have no intentions of back talking anyone.

[Reads with Scotch]

Oh Ok so now I'm just "anyone".

Keep digging tennis ball. I'm not sure how you could get any deeper, but I'm sure you can pull it off.



**side note**

How did the driving test go today?

[Ruth]

Re message #82. I'm trying to visualize "slabs of concert." Wouldn't the neighbors object after a while?

[Hayley]

haha very funny Bunny - I suppose we do have a linguistic bond, what i meant to say was the a 'yard' over here is walled in and usually laid with sement - honest I need to wear my glasses more.

Nick I can't dig any further I hit rock bottom - I may need your help in getting out.
::::looks panicked as she realises Nick is now in bed and won't be rescuing her anytime soon::::

[Ruth]

Ain't typos wonderful? usually laid with sement? Stop me before I turn obscene.

[Hayley]

Nah, it doesn't bother me, I quite an easy going person - I just find the putting things down in words doesn't always come out the way it sounds - I was laughing at the fact you said me and Nick had a linguistic bond.

I'm terrible - we need a spell checker on this thing!!

[Hayley]

thanks Bunny - who would think I have a degree in English, I've always had a problem with spelling.

[Hayley]

I'm the same and it doesn't matter how many times someone tells me how it works I still get it wrong.

[Hayley]

you are so right, I just go about it and hope the spell checker is working these days - receive or is it recieve, is the one that get me the most.

[Summer]

My dad likes to give me a hard time; I have a degree in English too, but he's a 4th grade teacher. Who is the better speller? That would be him.

[Hayley]

:::giggles::::
My boss thinks it funny that I have a degree in English yet can't spell to save my life - I should be ashamed really.
:::hangs her head in shame::::

[Hayley]

hehe - thats true, though I'll need to brush up on my spelling because I hoping to change my job and become a junior copywriter ::::crosses her fingers::::
Plus I would love to write a book - I like telling childrens stories, my little cousin loves the stories I make up.

[Dave]

I find most British people can't spell. Always adding U's to words like color and humor. And it's defense, not defence!