Terminalcoffee discussion
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The TMI Thread
A few days ago my son and his friend decided to overrule my words on the separation of hamsters. His friend had come over with her pet so she (Lulu the hamster) could say hello to my son's boy hamster, Hamsty. Fearing a mix-up, a fight, or future baby hamsters, I told them not to let the two mingle.When all the friends were leaving, one father called to let me know that his son told him the hamsters had been together, and ours was "on top of Lulu for about 15 seconds." Oh, great.
Anyway, Lulu went home but, after hearing about their time together, I asked my son how he knew he had the correct pet. To determine it, I had to check the underside of the hamster & look for genitalia.
It turns out that the best way to tell is by observing the anogenital distance; girl hamsters have their genital opening much closer to the anus than do males. Based on that, I believe we have the correct rodent. I remain concerned that our neighbors may soon have more than just the one hamster.
By the way, 15 seconds? Talk about your hair-trigger male!
I have never heard the phrase "anogentical distance" before, and now I feel dirty.On Saturday night I got really, really drunk at a concert along Lake Michigan near my house, one of those "free concerts in the park" things where people bring out lawn chairs and drink and play frisbee or whatever. I took my ten year old and my seven year old and a cooler to the concert early, and they ran around and played with friends on the playground while I sat and read and listened to the opening act. My wife took my twelve year old to a football season kickoff clinic at the high school. She wasn't sure she was going to come over to the concert, but then some of her friends said they were coming, I think, so she decided to come. Once she arrived all bets were off, I was getting drunk. The night was cool and dark, perfect outdoor drinking weather. Two bands played, first a normal sort of roots rock band, and then some ancient guy who played in Commander Cody or something. The old guy was excellent, but that may have been the alcohol talking. Normally I'd rather drink by myself but I live in a small town and knew a lot of people so I was able to interact with two of the other guys there pretty well, one a guy I've known for years but apparently completely blew off in a coffee shop recently (to be fair he was wearing a suit then, he said, and I've never seen him in a suit before) and the other this...nature...guy...who works for the forest department. I asked him questions about bats and floods and scared him, I think, by close-talking while inebriated. People kept handing me beers. The kids played soccer with blitzed college students and, at one point, the old guy on the stage did this medley of covers that included Iggy Pop's "I Wanna Be Your Dog" and I almost came in my pants. Then my seven year old said he had to pee. Now, this place used to have only porta-potties, but they just built decent bathrooms, so he decided he had to take a world class dump. The bathroom was of the "two urinals, one stall" variety. Now, remember, there are maybe three or four hundred people there, most drunk, and the bathrooms are crowded but not jammed. So he's in the stall, taking a dump, while I'm standing outside the stall, holding a beer, and people are coming in and out of the bathroom. He's making a ton of noise, pushing out that poop, going, "UUMNNNGGGHHHHH" and the like. Then he gets up to wipe his butt and the automatic flusher goes off like a goddamn jet engine and he yells "AHHHHHHHHHH!" and jumps, like, three feet forward. I know this because I'm peeking over the stall and trying to hurry him along. He continues to wipe his butt, but he's looking at the toilet suspiciously like it could explode any second. In the meantime people keep entering the bathroom and wondering why this drunk freak (me) is peeking over the stall, I assume, and I'm saying, as soon as they enter, "That's my son in there" so they don't call the cops. Eventually he finishes taking a dump and I'm trying to hustle out but he decides he has to wash his hands like he's scrubbing into surgery. Goddamn first grade teachers teaching him to wash his hands for, like, ten minutes. Eventually we got out of the bathroom and he crashed on the blanket. Luckily my wife was was still there because my ride had left and she drove us home.
I just about peed my pants laughing at your post, RA. That's hilarious.
RandomAnthony wrote: "some ancient guy who played in Commander Cody"
Bill Kirchen?
Bill Kirchen?
YES! Well done, Clark.
RandomAnthony wrote: "YES! Well done, Clark."
Please don't tell me he played "Hot Rod Lincoln."
Please don't tell me he played "Hot Rod Lincoln."
He did! That was the finale where he worked in about a ten minute long medley/break with little bits of covers, including that Iggy Pop song (I guess Bill Kirchen's from Michigan, and he mentioned Iggy Pop was, too) and a slew of others before switching back into "Hot Rod Lincoln." Free in the park, Clark! And everyone was drunk. You would have loved it.
I got this surprise in the mail on Saturday:
Clark wrote: "RandomAnthony wrote: "YES! Well done, Clark."
Please don't tell me he played "Hot Rod Lincoln.""
Yep, sounds like a good time! I was there with you in spirit.
The Romantics, they of the red leather suits, skinny ties, poofy hair, and power-pop hooks are playing right behind the building I work in for free this Friday.
First round's on me.
Please don't tell me he played "Hot Rod Lincoln.""
Yep, sounds like a good time! I was there with you in spirit.
The Romantics, they of the red leather suits, skinny ties, poofy hair, and power-pop hooks are playing right behind the building I work in for free this Friday.
First round's on me.
Heh. Heidi IS Emo!:)Do they still wear red leather suits, Clark? That sounds scary.
RandomAnthony wrote: "Heh. Heidi IS Emo!:)
Do they still wear red leather suits, Clark? That sounds scary."
No, but they still rock the leather pants. Brad Elvis - from Champaign, IL's Elvis Brothers: remember them? - replaced Jimmy Marinos behind the drum kit some years back. I saw them last summer and they still sound good.
Do they still wear red leather suits, Clark? That sounds scary."
No, but they still rock the leather pants. Brad Elvis - from Champaign, IL's Elvis Brothers: remember them? - replaced Jimmy Marinos behind the drum kit some years back. I saw them last summer and they still sound good.
God, I would kill for Christina Hendricks' body. Her shape is perfect!
Clark I do love the Romantics. Have fun at the show!
Cynthia wrote: "Clark I do love the Romantics. Have fun at the show!"
Thanks! I'll fill you in.
Thanks! I'll fill you in.
I think my mom's problem with me barely wearing clothes at home is that she thinks I dress like this at school.Mom, c'mon
UGH!! I HAVE MORE CHIN HAIR!!! God doesn't want anyone want me. Dammit.
Tweezing hurts but it's effective. We all get hair in random places. As long as you get rid of it, no harm no foul.I remember watching a comedienne at a club who was ripping on people that shave their big toe. My first thought was, "Would you rather they leave the hair?"
Maybe God just wants the right person to want you.
No guy wants a girl with fucking chin hair and a mustache. I'm already fat and discoloured, and my family can't afford braces, and now I have hair sprouting out of places where it shouldn't...I give up. I can't take this, I give up. I am just going to be a virgin hugging her tattered copy of The Feminine Mystique for the rest of my life.Dammit.
Almost everything external can be fixed. It's harder to fix the internal.Sigh...I sound like my mom right now. Shoot me and get it over with. Please.
Haha no, you're fine. I'm gonna go stuff my face with ice cream and watch Flipping Out. and on Friday I'll buy some wax and ask my mom to help me wax my chin.
Oh, god, that made me want to cry even harder.
Sigh...I sound like my mom right now. Shoot me and get it over with. Please."
God I know how that feels. Every now and then I say something ... I always hope nobody noticed.
God I know how that feels. Every now and then I say something ... I always hope nobody noticed.
Sometimes I think I'm turning into my Grandma Inez. Things like "Let a smile be your umbrella" just fly out of my mouth at the oddest moments.
Cynthia wrote: " "Let a smile be your umbrella"."
Seems like a quick way to drown!
Seems like a quick way to drown!
A friend told me last week that she has a beard. I've never noticed, and when she said that I looked closely but couldn't see a trace of it.She said she used to shave, but stopped because it was irritating her skin. Waxing is painful but, if I recall correctly, that's what she currently does.
In the past, this lady was overweight, introverted and lacked self confidence. To see her now (in great shape from cycling, confident and outgoing) you would never know it.
So what made the difference? Supportive friends and a true desire to change. Find those friends - male or female - and set your goals. It's not something that happens overnight, but it can happen. It just takes a hell of a lot of work on the inside.
ms.petra wrote: "I like your Grandma Inez."I miss her like the devil. She was the epitome of unconditional love, probably my #1 fan.
A doctor told me to walk four miles a day. I don't even know what four miles looks like. I told one of my friends that I'm gonna work out more, and he wants me to do Zumba with him and his friends, and he's all about positivity, so he's going to be great.I don't want to shave because I know girls and women who shave, and they have razor bumps. I would rather have hairs on my chinny chin chin than razor bumps.
So I'm gonna wax, but I really don't want to put up with this shit. I just want to be a pretty girl.
Pre-menopausal women (like me) are supposed to exercise for an hour a day, every day, to avoid weight gain during menopause. I'll never be able to give up my gym membership.
Women come in all shapes and sizes, hairy and not. I have met women with some pretty heavy facial hair and it hasn't stopped them from doing anything they want to do or being with who they want. Britt, believe it or not, there are guys who don't care. Confidence is way more important than looks.
Also, without meaning to get too personal, have you talked to one doctor about all those things combined? Because gaining weight + hair can mean a hormonal imbalance.
Do I think I have PCOS? Maybe. But I got a whole round of tests done a couple of months ago, and my doctor saw nothing out of the ordinary.
Yeah, that was what I was asking. But like I said, you could also be a perfectly normal larger than average person with more facial hair than average. And that's ok.
I mean, I was born a month premature weighing ten pounds. My entire family is fat, fine. So I've always been this way, but I dunno. Now is the time where if I don't do anything about it now, nothing will be done because it's going to get harder as I get older. Plus I've been riding this 6 year temper tantrum from being denied a boy (It's psychological! that I'm a spoiled rotten brat).
First off, this isn't a comment about whether or not to exercise. Sometimes I walk, swim, and do yoga like it's going out of style, and sometimes I have a few months where my ass is planted to a computer chair or couch way more than it needs to be, so I can't judge.I just had to comment because of what your doctor said. Any doctor that would tell a patient to walk 4 miles a day if they're starting from zero has issues.
If you end up ever making a choice to start an exercise program, at least do something that's not going to make you want to quit before you get started. Even 10 to 15 minutes is better than nothing. You can always add more time/distance after your body gets used to a routine.
Well, it isn't my doctor. I went to the clinic at school for something last semester, and she took it entirely upon herself to call me into her office and tell me that a massive weight loss would be "the perfect graduation present" to myself. I wonder how many other poor girls got that same speech.No, my doctor really wanted to get me on a shot that would help me lose weight because she's on it, her daughter is on it...most of the women who work in her office is on it, but there's no medical reason for me.
Britt wrote: "Well, it isn't my doctor. I went to the clinic at school for something last semester, and she took it entirely upon herself to call me into her office and tell me that a massive weight loss would b..."WHAT AN ASSHOLE! I truly think people who have no weight issues and have never had any weight issues have no clue how utterly insensitive their words can be. THAT crap doesn't motivate a person. I swear, I think some people need to go through sensitivity training.
I love my PCP. First visit, we were going through my chart together and when she got to "weight," I was like "Yeah, yeah... I KNOOOOW!" She looked at me and smiled and said, "Hey - so long as your heart is healthy and your cardiovascular health is good and you don't have any weight related health issues, you're fine with me. I'm sure you're hard enough on yourself without me adding to it. And everyone else."
That was such a relief to hear because it's true.
You know, weight loss doesn't work for people, in general, if that person isn't doing it for himself/herself. When/if you get tired of being overweight, you'll make a decision to do something about it and it'll stick because it was YOUR choice... not someone else's suggestion or half assed attempt towards motivation. What IS important is being patient with yourself. You can't fix or make everyone else better/happy. You can do something about your own well-being and sense of self, though.
Just be patient with yourself and focus on the little changes you can make to improve your self-image/quality of life. When/if you do decide to do something about being your weight, remember it doesn't come off overnight. You've got to celebrate the little things you do to help you move towards the larger goal. Do you stick to your goals? After a week? After a month? Two months? Six months? A year?? I like to buy nice fragranced votives as a treat.
PCP, isn't that angel dust, Heidi? Do we need to do an intervention?
She must be on a lot of drugs if they're talking to her. At least they give her good advice, unlike the ones that tell people they can fly.
Cynthia wrote: "PCP, isn't that angel dust, Heidi? Do we need to do an intervention?"primary care physician
oh my god, okay, so my mom told me to get her a taco salad from Taco Bell. So I go, and when the girl gives me her change, she tells me to pull up beside the front door, meaning they have to bring my food out to me. I'm annoyed, but I pull up and there's already someone ELSE PULLED UP BESIDE THE FRONT DOOR.So I just sit at the edge of the curb at the end of the drive thru, and a black spider crawls in my car!! And it's on my visor mirror! And i'm wearing short shorts and no underwear, and these shorts ride up when I sit down, but I hop out of the car, take off my shoe and start beating my visor mirror, and I'm bent over!
To make a story short, the car behind me got a eye full of ass an hour ago. Oh well, I killed the spider.
Stacia (new) (new) wrote: "First off, this isn't a comment about whether or not to exercise. Sometimes I walk, swim, and do yoga like it's going out of style, and sometimes I have a few months where my ass is planted to a c..."Yes, this makes perfect sense. Also, what works for one person may not work for another. You have to find your own way to work out, and there are plenty of them. I like to mix them up...
Heidi wrote: "Cynthia wrote: "PCP, isn't that angel dust, Heidi? Do we need to do an intervention?"primary care physician"
I knew that honey I am just punchy today. Flood water on the brain. Sorry to be annoying.
Hey Britt - have you ever considered roller derby? They take all shapes and sizes, it's fun, and an instant group of friends. Most of the players start from scratch learning how to skate. Some of the best derby players are bigger women - they're the blockers, and make up the bulk of the team. And there are several leagues in North Carolina.
Sarah Pi wrote: "Hey Britt - have you ever considered roller derby? They take all shapes and sizes, it's fun, and an instant group of friends. Most of the players start from scratch learning how to skate. Some of ..."THAT sounds totally fun!!!
Last night there were a bunch of new girls at the open skate who had never been on skates before. They hold the walls for a while, and gradually move off - sometimes it takes an hour, sometimes a week. The girls who've been doing it for a while all slow down to skate next to them and give them tips and welcome them. It's really a great community.THere are teams in Raleigh, Wilmington, Asheville, and Charlotte. And if there isn't one near you but there is a skating rink, you can start one!
Thanks, Sarah. I'll look into it...'cause I don't know how to skate.
older men = trouble