It's something I was doing today. It came up like word vomit. Well, it's a parody of Twilight. That's really all you need to know.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥OUR STORY♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
I went crazy when Edweird left me for sunny Miami. He said he met some hot gay guys by impressing them with his sparkles. He never sparkled for me in public. He said it was too dangerous. But I can take it. I have to babysit both of my parents, you realize.
I could handle Atlas's job - holding up the sky. If I had Edweird's help, of course. I can't do anything for myself. Or maybe we could take turns. He'd have to do more though, since he's a vampire. Because vampires that sparkle are really strong. Really, really strong. Really, extremely strong.
Maybe it's because they don't have fangs. Or because the women have venom running through their veins but males have venom and semen. Because they have super-semen that creates monsters that eat you from the inside-out.
I would know. I housed the Loch Ness Monster in my uterus for a month. I was wearing a chicken suit when she was conceived. But that's a different story that involves food poisoning, a private island, and some frightened porpoises.
I named my hybrid-baby Nessie, for the obvious reason. My mother-in-law would have killed me if I had named her something sensible.
My pet dog, Jack, fell in love with my little Nessie. I was a little on-the-fence at first, but now I'm totally fine with the idea of pedophilia. Nessie can also read minds and she grows super fast. Super-duper fast. Faster-than-Edweird-can-run fast.
She goes hunting with Jackie a lot. They make the cutest couple. Sometimes they'll come home covered in blood and carrying a moose carcass. I'll take pictures and save it for their photo albums.
Did I tell you that I love Edweird more than life itself? I love him more than death too, since I chose immortality over my helpless dad and friends that used to put up with all of my crap.
I'm not sure why I love him. We've only known each other for a year, and we've been married nine of those twelve months.
He used to tell me that I smelled good all the time. Now that I sparkle like him, he never compliments me. Never ever ever.
We're happy. Kinda. But that's all that matters, as long as I have my... uh... what's his name again?
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥OUR STORY♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
I went crazy when Edweird left me for sunny Miami. He said he met some hot gay guys by impressing them with his sparkles. He never sparkled for me in public. He said it was too dangerous. But I can take it. I have to babysit both of my parents, you realize.
I could handle Atlas's job - holding up the sky. If I had Edweird's help, of course. I can't do anything for myself. Or maybe we could take turns. He'd have to do more though, since he's a vampire. Because vampires that sparkle are really strong. Really, really strong. Really, extremely strong.
Maybe it's because they don't have fangs. Or because the women have venom running through their veins but males have venom and semen. Because they have super-semen that creates monsters that eat you from the inside-out.
I would know. I housed the Loch Ness Monster in my uterus for a month. I was wearing a chicken suit when she was conceived. But that's a different story that involves food poisoning, a private island, and some frightened porpoises.
I named my hybrid-baby Nessie, for the obvious reason. My mother-in-law would have killed me if I had named her something sensible.
My pet dog, Jack, fell in love with my little Nessie. I was a little on-the-fence at first, but now I'm totally fine with the idea of pedophilia. Nessie can also read minds and she grows super fast. Super-duper fast. Faster-than-Edweird-can-run fast.
She goes hunting with Jackie a lot. They make the cutest couple. Sometimes they'll come home covered in blood and carrying a moose carcass. I'll take pictures and save it for their photo albums.
Did I tell you that I love Edweird more than life itself? I love him more than death too, since I chose immortality over my helpless dad and friends that used to put up with all of my crap.
I'm not sure why I love him. We've only known each other for a year, and we've been married nine of those twelve months.
He used to tell me that I smelled good all the time. Now that I sparkle like him, he never compliments me. Never ever ever.
We're happy. Kinda. But that's all that matters, as long as I have my... uh... what's his name again?
♥/Izzy Gooseneck