If someone could please explain this to me....

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

O.K., I have a gripe that has been bothering me for a while and it is not going away. I have been noticing a trend at sit down chain restaurants that seems to be seeping in to all restaurants. Before your a** hits the seat, you are asked what you would like to drink. You have had no time to even put your things down, or even open the menu to see your choices, and the server, whom you will NOT be able to find later when you need them, is acting like you have the launch codes or something. What happened to allowing you a few moments to look at the menu before pouncing?

Then, if you tell them you need a moment, they come back like every 10 seconds waiting for your decision like the fate of the free world depends on your choice of Pepsi or Diet Pepsi! (Again, this is the same person who will dissapear when you really need them!)

My other gripe comes at the end of the meal. I really loathe it when your bill is brought with your meal, basicaly signaling me to "hurry up and eat, so we can clear the table for new people" and then having the server ask if I want dessert. Not now I don't! You have just made me feel un-welcome so why should I stay? (I have also had problems with ordering desert after a bill has come and they tack it onto the previous total instead of re-configuring the entire bill, making totals VERY wrong, in the restaurants favorof course. Yes, I have complained and it was fixed, very grudginly.)

I know, some would say that I should tell my server to bring the bill when I ask for it, but why should I have to tell them that when they used to do that? If servers rely on tips to add to their minimum wage salary, wouldn't you think that they would want you to linger over dessert since that will make the bill larger?

I know that tips are apprecitated, but they are NOT required. This corporate bums rush only makes me not want to spend my money at your establishment, and this economy, I don't think they can truly afford to offend customers.

So, could somebody please explain to me how this practise got started and how we can end it? I am getting fed up, and not in a good way.

[A.]

I haven't really had this problem in the restaurants that I have been to. I usually base tipping on the status of my drink cup, while it is not 100%, the need to ask for a refill or not is a major concideration for me. I also base the gratutity on the speed of service and attitude of the server. Servers rely on tips not to add to a minimum wage salary, most servers do not even make $3.00 per hour, but to meet the cost of living. Here in South Carolina they make a whopping $2.30 per hour. Hard to live on that.
My theory is, in the cases you have mentioned, that in these trying economic times, the corporations have started to "push you out the door" in an effort to keep the income flowing. Suggesting dessert is a way to extract additional monies out of the customer. As the consumer< I know that this policy sucks but as the restaurantier, it makes perfect business sense.