TWILIGHT HATERS discussion
Hate Twilight
Has anyone else noticed how there are so many gaps in the characters? Bella, also known as Little Dumbass, does not watch any TV, listens to no music, and is obsessed with getting into Edward's pants. SHE'S A PEDOPHILE RAPIST!!! That's why she won't marry Ed and why she was making out w/ Jacob in Eclipse!!! She just wants to have her way with Edward, then Jacob, then possibly Mike and Eric (at the same time).
Are Charlie and Carlisle gay? Possible...
Jacob is like, three years younger than Bella!!! And he is on major steroids!!!! (Who else can flex and rip off his clothing?!?!)
Edward does not know the meaning of FUN. He's a 90 year old virgin for Christ's sake!!! No wonder he's a paranoid stalker. Men are visual creatures!!! He would get lonely sometime or another!!!! I mean, he would probably go to a strip club, take a whore home, have a one night stand with her, and then dump her (or kill her).
By the by, Stephanie Meyer has HUGE lips! They're like pink slimy slugs!!! Eww!!!!
What the hell is with thier special powers? Edward can read minds...except for Bella's. WTF? And if Alice's power was heightened when she was turned, why was she in a mental hospital for having visions BEFORE she was turned? If Jasper can change emotions, why hasn't he ever used it!!!
Isn't it ironic how only the Voltarie and the Cullens have those special powers? It was mere coincidence that, out of all the vampires in the world, only those two groups have powers.
Meyer's 'bad' characters have no back story, no good to them. They just have the title of 'bad', have a name, and have a few physical details. Every evil character has a story of how they came to be, like JK Rowlings Voldemort. Meyer doesn't try to conjure up any sympathy for them.
Even though there was a battle in eclipse, no good charaters died. Usually when there is a battle there are losses for both sides.
And why does Bella have such sweet smelling blood?
If all the Cullens flipped out like they did at Bella's birthday party, they couldn't be out in public. Kids fall and skin thier knees all the time.
Also, if they got all sparkly in the sun(ummm...explanation) they couldn't be out in public. If a single ray of sun hit them, they'd be discovered.
Thank you for listening to our rant...we feel really good now.
Has anyone else noticed how there are so many gaps in the characters? Bella, also known as Little Dumbass, does not watch any TV, listens to no music, and is obsessed with getting into Edward's pants. SHE'S A PEDOPHILE RAPIST!!! That's why she won't marry Ed and why she was making out w/ Jacob in Eclipse!!! She just wants to have her way with Edward, then Jacob, then possibly Mike and Eric (at the same time).
Are Charlie and Carlisle gay? Possible...
Jacob is like, three years younger than Bella!!! And he is on major steroids!!!! (Who else can flex and rip off his clothing?!?!)
Edward does not know the meaning of FUN. He's a 90 year old virgin for Christ's sake!!! No wonder he's a paranoid stalker. Men are visual creatures!!! He would get lonely sometime or another!!!! I mean, he would probably go to a strip club, take a whore home, have a one night stand with her, and then dump her (or kill her).
By the by, Stephanie Meyer has HUGE lips! They're like pink slimy slugs!!! Eww!!!!
What the hell is with thier special powers? Edward can read minds...except for Bella's. WTF? And if Alice's power was heightened when she was turned, why was she in a mental hospital for having visions BEFORE she was turned? If Jasper can change emotions, why hasn't he ever used it!!!
Isn't it ironic how only the Voltarie and the Cullens have those special powers? It was mere coincidence that, out of all the vampires in the world, only those two groups have powers.
Meyer's 'bad' characters have no back story, no good to them. They just have the title of 'bad', have a name, and have a few physical details. Every evil character has a story of how they came to be, like JK Rowlings Voldemort. Meyer doesn't try to conjure up any sympathy for them.
Even though there was a battle in eclipse, no good charaters died. Usually when there is a battle there are losses for both sides.
And why does Bella have such sweet smelling blood?
If all the Cullens flipped out like they did at Bella's birthday party, they couldn't be out in public. Kids fall and skin thier knees all the time.
Also, if they got all sparkly in the sun(ummm...explanation) they couldn't be out in public. If a single ray of sun hit them, they'd be discovered.
Thank you for listening to our rant...we feel really good now.
Has anyone else noticed how there are so many gaps in the characters? Bella, also known as Little Dumbass, does not watch any TV, listens to no music, and is obsessed with getting into Edward's pants. SHE'S A PEDOPHILE RAPIST!!! That's why she won't marry Ed and why she was making out w/ Jacob in Eclipse!!! She just wants to have her way with Edward, then Jacob, then possibly Mike and Eric (at the same time).
Are Charlie and Carlisle gay? Possible...
Jacob is like, three years younger than Bella!!! And he is on major steroids!!!! (Who else can flex and rip off his clothing?!?!)
Edward does not know the meaning of FUN. He's a 90 year old virgin for Christ's sake!!! No wonder he's a paranoid stalker. Men are visual creatures!!! He would get lonely sometime or another!!!! I mean, he would probably go to a strip club, take a whore home, have a one night stand with her, and then dump her (or kill her).
By the by, Stephanie Meyer has HUGE lips! They're like pink slimy slugs!!! Eww!!!!
What the hell is with thier special powers? Edward can read minds...except for Bella's. WTF? And if Alice's power was heightened when she was turned, why was she in a mental hospital for having visions BEFORE she was turned? If Jasper can change emotions, why hasn't he ever used it!!!
Isn't it ironic how only the Voltarie and the Cullens have those special powers? It was mere coincidence that, out of all the vampires in the world, only those two groups have powers.
Meyer's 'bad' characters have no back story, no good to them. They just have the title of 'bad', have a name, and have a few physical details. Every evil character has a story of how they came to be, like JK Rowlings Voldemort. Meyer doesn't try to conjure up any sympathy for them.
Even though there was a battle in eclipse, no good charaters died. Usually when there is a battle there are losses for both sides.
And why does Bella have such sweet smelling blood?
If all the Cullens flipped out like they did at Bella's birthday party, they couldn't be out in public. Kids fall and skin thier knees all the time.
Also, if they got all sparkly in the sun(ummm...explanation) they couldn't be out in public. If a single ray of sun hit them, they'd be discovered.
Thank you for listening to our rant...we feel really good now.
Has anyone else noticed how there are so many gaps in the characters? Bella, also known as Little Dumbass, does not watch any TV, listens to no music, and is obsessed with getting into Edward's pants. SHE'S A PEDOPHILE RAPIST!!! That's why she won't marry Ed and why she was making out w/ Jacob in Eclipse!!! She just wants to have her way with Edward, then Jacob, then possibly Mike and Eric (at the same time).
Are Charlie and Carlisle gay? Possible...
Jacob is like, three years younger than Bella!!! And he is on major steroids!!!! (Who else can flex and rip off his clothing?!?!)
Edward does not know the meaning of FUN. He's a 90 year old virgin for Christ's sake!!! No wonder he's a paranoid stalker. Men are visual creatures!!! He would get lonely sometime or another!!!! I mean, he would probably go to a strip club, take a whore home, have a one night stand with her, and then dump her (or kill her).
By the by, Stephanie Meyer has HUGE lips! They're like pink slimy slugs!!! Eww!!!!
What the hell is with thier special powers? Edward can read minds...except for Bella's. WTF? And if Alice's power was heightened when she was turned, why was she in a mental hospital for having visions BEFORE she was turned? If Jasper can change emotions, why hasn't he ever used it!!!
Isn't it ironic how only the Voltarie and the Cullens have those special powers? It was mere coincidence that, out of all the vampires in the world, only those two groups have powers.
Meyer's 'bad' characters have no back story, no good to them. They just have the title of 'bad', have a name, and have a few physical details. Every evil character has a story of how they came to be, like JK Rowlings Voldemort. Meyer doesn't try to conjure up any sympathy for them.
Even though there was a battle in eclipse, no good charaters died. Usually when there is a battle there are losses for both sides.
And why does Bella have such sweet smelling blood?
If all the Cullens flipped out like they did at Bella's birthday party, they couldn't be out in public. Kids fall and skin thier knees all the time.
Also, if they got all sparkly in the sun(ummm...explanation) they couldn't be out in public. If a single ray of sun hit them, they'd be discovered.
Thank you for listening to our rant...we feel really good now.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! That's hilarious! And so true! hahahahahahahahaha! I love it! That's Brilliant1
wait whered you come up with Carlisle and charlie being gay??? i wanna hear this theory.and yes her lips are huge.
hahaha! Don't you get it? hahaha!
message 209:
by
☼☼Khloe☼☼~*~Thirteenth Step~*~, The one who just looks good in tights
(new)
Mod
haha! I still love her comment! It's brilliant! I'd use it all the time!
message 211:
by
☼☼Khloe☼☼~*~Thirteenth Step~*~, The one who just looks good in tights
(new)
Mod
Meyer does not know how to write a book. The most accurate way to describe the Twilight series is a moderately well-written fan-fic. The book merely survives by its content. Its audience is the inumerable teenage girls in the world looking for an overrated love affair. It's a chick-flick not worth the paper it's printed on. Meyer demonstrates repetitively that she does not even know how to use a comma in her first book! The story-line is redundant and the protagonist is rather insipid. I cannot respect Meyer for squeezing money out of her readers, by continuing a story which had already reached its conclusion. Why else would an author take a trilogy and turn it into a four-part series? Is she not also re-writing the first book from Edward's perspective? I cannot respect an author who will punch our re-written books with an out-stretched hand. My rant is over.
Hon, I hate to break it to you, but it's going to be a saga. Six books. Not just four books.
AUGH!!!!! I was soooooo stoked for them to be over!!! do you know what this means? She doesn't change into a vampire!! She's human throughout the entire thing! I was sooo hoping for these stupid books to be OVER!!!!
Oh, you don't know that, silly. She could turn into a vampire and the other three books are all about Jacob. Of course, if that's the case, I'm burning the three books I have.Ooooh...Ave Maria...
what?! *sniffs* I hate twilight with a fierce passion. So we were going to Barnes and noble today and as soon as I get there I see this one table surrounded by black red and white streamers. It was all for SM's books. A small table next to it had a bunch of other aspirational vampire books. (except for Anne Rice, she was way too good for those)
*laughs* Yeah. Too bad I can't read them, eh?
AUGH!!!! I'm ready to murder SM!! And I would actually recommend you read them if you don't find them too inappropriate.
I don't think my mom would let me, hon.
meh, you can read them someday... I ordered my books and am ready to go!! heehee!
Twilight blew.I wanted to slap Bella EPIC FAIL Swan all throughout the novel. Gor, she's manages to be boring and annoying and self centered all at the same time. There is so little literature quality to this book.
Here is Bella's POV.
Wow. Forks sucks. Wahaha I'm so selfless, my leave from my mother was so epic and heart wrenching, but I shall move on. Its so wet here- Ohspitbananapeel. *trips* Waaaaa!
later
No boys ever liked me at my old school and now everyone is all over me but I'm so PLAIN! (hence my name which means Beautiful Swan..oh the undiscovered beauty!) *glares at boy*
*glares at Edward* *hyperventilates* OMG. Edward is so gorgeous and perfect and sexy and hott and perfect and OMG- *trips* Ow. *faints*
even later...
I cooked lasagna for Charlie. *glares somemore** First I boiled the noodles, then I started to lay them out in the pan, then I layed on the sauce and the meat, repeat. I cooked in at 400 degrees for half an hour and I was so good and tomatoey. Then I cleaned the kitchen counters with a green sponge and got the crumbs on the floor, so I began to sweep the floor...oh wait, am I becoming boring with the completely boring and possibly tear inducing descriptions of EVERY LITTLE THING I DO? Hm, ah well. LYKE OMG EDWARD IS SO HOTTTTT.
*hangs out with Edward*
two days later
Oh. My. Gosh.
Edward is like a vampire and he wants to eat me and he stalks me at night and after little interaction or build up at all, we are TOTALLY IN LOVE AND NOW I WANT TO GIVE UP MY SOUL! I mean, come on, what face value is a soul when you have someone who is perfectly gorgeous and dead and wants to eat you? I mean come on! AND HE f***ING SPARKLES!!! *faints*
later...
Oh wait..something seemingly exciting and quite possibly anti climatic happened. Some vampire (who totally like omg was NOT gorgeous so he is insignificant in my book) wanted to eat me too! *glares SOME MORE* So yeah, Idk. Some crazy sh*t went down...My mind was gone because I was thinking about Eddy-kins...he's so perfectly hot.
Yeeeeahhh. That's Twilight.
I think this plot would have been much, much better:
*in the car with Charlie upon arriving at forks*
Bella: *SIGH* This place is so wet and-
*giant bolder falls from the sky and smashes the car*
THE END
(coughEPICWINcough) ^_^
(P.S. Charlie Lived!!!)
haha! I like your type better too! Brilliant! haha! XD
You're funny :) I laughed preeeeetty hard while I was reading that ;)
Are you going to go to the other groups?!
message 237:
by
☼☼Khloe☼☼~*~Thirteenth Step~*~, The one who just looks good in tights
(new)
Mod
I'm workin on it! Don't rush me!
Yeah? Still? An hour ago? You were still working on it?Well, where the heck is it?!
What?! I don't have two groups I have like 17!
Um. The freakin' two that we role play in and that I'M in. Ella's and Kenzie's/Mine. Jeez. *slaps forehead*
I really only post in three groups. this one. The space pirate one. And Ella's.
Ok, I saw this forum and I just toatally had to sign up and join this group. All of the stuff you people say is true, me and my friend Sarah do this impression of edward and bellaand its pretty much just us saying" no i dont want you to get hurt" to each other over and over again cuz thats pretty much the whole book.
I hate this book so much and words can't even explain how relived i am to find this forum.
I'm a pretty big Metro Station fan and theres this one song called Seventeen Forever, and people sit there and say that its about Twilight, and it is about a totally different subject.
And i bet that a lot of people who "love" twilight only love it because of its false sense of romance. or because everyone else loves it.
Ive attemted to love it, its not easy
-Paige
thats the best rant ive ever heardi am so relived to hear some one say that
Bella, also known as Little Dumbass, does not watch any TV, listens to no music, and is obsessed with getting into Edward's pants. SHE'S A PEDOPHILE RAPIST!!! That's why she won't marry Ed and why she was making out w/ Jacob in Eclipse!!! She just wants to have her way with Edward, then Jacob, then possibly Mike and Eric (at the same time).
Are Charlie and Carlisle gay? Possible...
Jacob is like, three years younger than Bella!!! And he is on major steroids!!!! (Who else can flex and rip off his clothing?!?!)
Edward does not know the meaning of FUN. He's a 90 year old virgin for Christ's sake!!! No wonder he's a paranoid stalker. Men are visual creatures!!! He would get lonely sometime or another!!!! I mean, he would probably go to a strip club, take a whore home, have a one night stand with her, and then dump her (or kill her).
By the by, Stephanie Meyer has HUGE lips! They're like pink slimy slugs!!! Eww!!!!
What the hell is with thier special powers? Edward can read minds...except for Bella's. WTF? And if Alice's power was heightened when she was turned, why was she in a mental hospital for having visions BEFORE she was turned? If Jasper can change emotions, why hasn't he ever used it!!!
Isn't it ironic how only the Voltarie and the Cullens have those special powers? It was mere coincidence that, out of all the vampires in the world, only those two groups have powers.
Meyer's 'bad' characters have no back story, no good to them. They just have the title of 'bad', have a name, and have a few physical details. Every evil character has a story of how they came to be, like JK Rowlings Voldemort. Meyer doesn't try to conjure up any sympathy for them.
Even though there was a battle in eclipse, no good charaters died. Usually when there is a battle there are losses for both sides.
And why does Bella have such sweet smelling blood?
If all the Cullens flipped out like they did at Bella's birthday party, they couldn't be out in public. Kids fall and skin thier knees all the time.
Also, if they got all sparkly in the sun(ummm...explanation) they couldn't be out in public. If a single ray of sun hit them, they'd be discovered.
Thank you for listening to our rant...we feel really good now.