Terminalcoffee discussion
General Fuckery
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distracting names
in the 5th grade i had to watch the sex ed filmstrip in a classroom overseen by a teacher named mrs nipple. i just headed straight for the cornermy older two kids had a principle named mr seamon. even i giggled every time they announced his name
Had a Sunday school teacher named Mr. Cox. Mr. DICK Cox. I know that sounds like I'm making it up but I swear I'm not, you can ask my Mom.
The company I work for was doing some work where my wife works, so I called her up and asked if she could go get Mike Hunt for the phone. I know it's childish, but I still laugh when I think about it.
We used to have neighbors with the last name of Bull who named their oldest daughter Tara.
We used to have neighbors with the last name of Bull who named their oldest daughter Tara.
These remind me of another guy from growing up. The oil company in town was owned by Dick Heer (pronounced hair). I had a friend who got a call from him, so he went to his boss to tell him that he had Dick Heer on the phone. His boss just told him to take a kleenex and wipe it off.
I knew someone who married a woman whose last name was Hard. Her father was named Peter. He was a private detective. Do the math.
My married last name is Beaver (yes you read that right). My husband likes to tell people that my name is Anita and his is Harry.
I had a student once with the name Butz. Wouldn't you change it?Dick Hair made me laugh...
I think I said this before, there's an academic test called the Woodcock Johnson...can't say that sucker with a straight face in front of a class...there's always one person who starts to laugh, and then I do, too...
Larry wrote: "My mother's maiden name is Duckworth. What's a Duckworth? Not much."Kevin Duckworth! He used to play for the Portland Trailblazers. He had great hair.
There was a nice character in one of the Morse stories, an almost elderly, unmarried lady, "Miss Tree". As she explained, with a coquettish smile, ""Miss Tree by name, Miss Tree by nature".
There was a woman that I used to work w/ and her last name was Butt. She tried to hide it for the longest time.I also had a teacher in High School and his name was Mr. Fardy (picture this name w/ a Boston accent.) My sister's friend's dad also had him as a teacher back when he went to HS and he used to go up to him and say "Hey Mr. Fardy, How's Mrs Fardy and all the little farts @ home"...
Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "uh....was your mother's family caucasian? because i think kevin duckworth was not"Mix and match, I always say.
Heidi wrote: "I had a buddy with the last name Titsworth. He hated it, so he had it legally changed to Worthy."Wow. Now that's a real subconscious commentary on the mammary gland!
Zen wrote: "Wow. Now that's a real subconscious commentary on the mammary gland!"Ha! Wow. I never really thought of it that way. I DID discourage him from making the name change, though. I told him he should be proud of his heritage.
Jim wrote: "The company I work for was doing some work where my wife works, so I called her up and asked if she could go get Mike Hunt for the phone. I know it's childish, but I still laugh when I think about..."My daughter goes to school with a kid named Michael Hunt Jr. How do you do that TWICE in one family??
When I lived in Montana my dentist's name was Dr. Pittaway and my mom's OBGYN was Dr. Heine (pronounced heinie).
Gretchen wrote: "There's an Air Force base called Seymour Johnson."But don't ask, and don't tell....
Anthony wrote: "We actually had a car-showroom here called "Robin Byers""That is REALLY funny, Anthony. :) Are you serious?
Heidi wrote: "Anthony wrote: "We actually had a car-showroom here called "Robin Byers""That is REALLY funny, Anthony. :) Are you serious?"
I really am. I didn't believe it either.
Anthony wrote: "Heidi wrote: "I really am. I didn't believe it either."Well then, it's decidedly indisputable funniness. :)
Every few months our paper publishes a section with "First Birthday" announcements. I look it over just to see the crazy names people come up with. The last edition had,Cheyanna Nakole Rose -- Nakole?
Jaxen Samuel Staples -- STOP WITH THE WEIRD SPELLINGS!
Adree Adams -- how do you say this one?
Cayzli Raine Curtis -- Her siblings are Creed, Treygen and Tekai.
Matik Kellan Blake -- Matik sounds like an arts & crafts style
Then a friend said she saw a baby at the hospital named Atreyu. So how often will that kid get beat up at school.
My husband's name is Peter Johnson. It's still funny to me after 12 years.In my teens I had a friend who started dating a girl named Jana. Not a bad name at all. Then someone let slip that her middle name was Talia. Say it with me kids... Jana Talia! I'm so not kidding!
My friends ex-boyfriend just had a baby a month or so ago. They named her Atari Grace. Now I like Grace, and I get how people of my generation grew up playing Atari but come on now...when she gets older kids aren't going to know what an Atari is. I don't like it.
Jaime wrote: "My friends ex-boyfriend just had a baby a month or so ago. They named her Atari Grace. Now I like Grace, and I get how people of my generation grew up playing Atari but come on now...when she get..."I think it's still better than Cayzli Raine. :)
I was in the library today reading a psychology book written by some guy with the last name Doctor. He has a PhD. His name is Dr. Doctor. It's been bothering me all day.
Jaime wrote: "My friends ex-boyfriend just had a baby a month or so ago. They named her Atari Grace. Now I like Grace, and I get how people of my generation grew up playing Atari but come on now...when she get..."There's a football player named Atari. It's cool for him but for a little girl...bleh!
Ashley wrote: "I was in the library today reading a psychology book written by some guy with the last name Doctor. He has a PhD. His name is Dr. Doctor. It's been bothering me all day."Now I have the Thompson Twins song "Dr.Doctor" stuck in my head.
Misha wrote: "My dentist when I was in sixth grade was named Dr. Smiley. I knew someone else who had a dentist named Dr. Toothman. There's a sheriff's deputy in my county named John Law. We've did a feature on h..."My dentist in San Francisco was Dr. Leslie Plack. Les Plack.
Gretchen wrote: "There's an Air Force base called Seymour Johnson."I drive right by this base on my way to Holden Beach NC every summer. I keep meaning to stop and take a picture of the sign.
Phil wrote: "My mother used an oral surgeon named Dr. Hurter. Ouch."Oh! I remember walking by a dentist's office when I was in high school, and wondering who would go to Dr. Payne.
My mechanic's last name is Tyre.
I had a customer the other day with the last name of Pyzybt (or something close to that). I couldn't believe it was real (even though it was his driver's license that I got it from) until I searched in the database and found another person with that last name. The rest of the day I kept wondering how to pronounce it. Finally I decided that it was an alias and that he was a hitman. That or an alien. I should've just asked him (how to pronounce it, that is). If I'd asked him whether he was a hitman or not, he would have had to kill me, of course. It was very distracting.
Jaime wrote: "My friends ex-boyfriend just had a baby a month or so ago. They named her Atari Grace. Now I like Grace, and I get how people of my generation grew up playing Atari but come on now...when she get..."that is probably a good thing!
I had a substitute teacher in high school who's last name was Fuchs...(long U) Of course being in High School we could not resist the temptation. That is right up there with the baseball player from the Cubs Fukudome. I worked at a university that had a drama instructor who's name was Pensis....had to be really careful with that one since it was a Christian university...one dropped letter from his name when publishing the schedule and look out.
My son wears his Fukudome shirt to school, a friend of his got pulled into the office to have to change his shirt until he could prove to them it was an actual players name.
My elementary school gym teacher was Mr. Doi, which in the late 70's was hilarious.
I once had a client named Dull, middle initial B. It really doesn't matter what you first name is.
Amy B. Dull
Larry B. Dull
Mary B. Dull
I once had a client named Dull, middle initial B. It really doesn't matter what you first name is.
Amy B. Dull
Larry B. Dull
Mary B. Dull





"Miss Dizeer. Miss Dizeer. Please send Ryan to the office. Miss Dizeer."
I heard "Missed His Ear" the first three times.