Dangerous Hero Addict Support Group discussion

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Archived/Extinct Discussions > What does your favorite heroes say about you as a person?

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message 1: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9851 comments Mod
I've been looking at people's lists of ultimate crushes, and it makes me curious why people like the character they do. I'm just that kind of person that I like to talk to people and learn about them as fellow human beings. If you're interested in sharing, think about your favorite heroes, and try to say why you like them, and what that says about you. Now, it may not say anything. If that's your answer, please feel free to say so.


message 2: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (last edited May 10, 2010 08:55AM) (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9851 comments Mod
I will share first because I want people to feel free to express themselves here:

I like dangerous, edgy heroes. But I am the most boring person in real life. But, I like dangerous, hell-bound heroes, because I like the idea that love can change anyone for the better.

I also like sweet, kind, loving beta heroes because that is the kind of person I like to be around in real life. I come from a very dramatic family where people like to argue. It's so stressful. I like to be around laid back people who are caring and gentle. I love a hero who takes care of the heroine and is not afraid to open up emotionally. In real life, I'd most likely marry an omega or beta male. An omega is a person who doesn't fit in the pecking order, doesn't like taking orders, and who exudes peace and calm to others. I don't like being around stressful, drama queen type people. No offense to anyone. So I don't tend to care for those kinds of heroes and heroines in books. It doesn't make for a fun read for me.

I love possessive, jealous heroes in books. I don't think that would work for me in real life. I like them in books because they usually show they are crazy about the heroine, and I like to know that the hero's feelings are strongly engaged by the heroine. So, I guess that doesn't translate to real life for me.

I also like warriors in books. In real life, I am a bit of a crusader. I like lost causes. I guess I like heroes like this because it appeals to the fighter in me, who believes in standing up for what I believe in.

Sorry for all the rambling.


message 3: by Debbie (new)

Debbie (halfpint66) | 272 comments I love the strong, dominating alpha male,,,,,,,,,I guess because I'm a wimp and I like a man who can take charge when things get scary.


message 4: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9851 comments Mod
Thanks for sharing, Debbie.


message 5: by Debbie (new)

Debbie (halfpint66) | 272 comments I like the question,,,,,,You know I'm going to steal from you again don't you? LOL


message 6: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9851 comments Mod
You are always welcome to do so, Debbie!


message 7: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4247 comments Mod
I love those good bad boys and bad boys with a with spot on his heart for the heroine, because they are interesting and fun to read about and write about.

I love a sexy nerd. A nerd will catch my attention, just as a good bad boy/bad boy that's good will catch my attention.

I'm a nerd! A proud nerd!

I like a possessive and jealous hero. But, in real life, let me just say, I don't mind him being crazy about me, but I'm not down with him being crazy. Keep going with your luggage buddy!


message 8: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9851 comments Mod
Oh, yes. I admit I love nerds because I'm a nerd. I like brilliant heroes, because I find intelligence very sexy in real life (but not pompous, know it alls who think they are better than anyone else).


message 9: by ReeCee (new)

ReeCee | 38 comments Ooooh nerd talk...

I love it!!! But it seems suspicious that the nerds in the books I have read always seem to have a buff bod hidden under their pocket protectors. (But I wouldn't have it any other way.)


message 10: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9851 comments Mod
Well, exercise stimulates the mind, so maybe they work out to get their brain going. :)


message 11: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4247 comments Mod
A lot of nerds keep up with their bodies and of course, a lot of them hide their physique.

It's all good, because I want to see his brain - first.


message 12: by ReeCee (new)

ReeCee | 38 comments Arch wrote: "A lot of nerds keep up with their bodies and of course, a lot of them hide their physique.

It's all good, because I want to see his brain - first."


LOL. Too funny!!!


message 13: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4247 comments Mod
ReeCee wrote:"LOL. Too funny!!!"

:) It's true! :)


message 14: by Kathy Anne (new)

Kathy Anne (kathyanne) I`m shallow,I like a face and body that knocks me for a loop. Getting older doesn`t make me less shallow,in fact I think it makes it worse.
Yet as a rule I don`t like a baby face either,Arch knows just how I like them(LOL)


message 15: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4247 comments Mod
Kathy Anne wrote: "I`m shallow,I like a face and body that knocks me for a loop. Getting older doesn`t make me less shallow,in fact I think it makes it worse.
Yet as a rule I don`t like a baby face either,Arch knows..."


Yes, I do Kathy Anne.


message 16: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9851 comments Mod
Nothing wrong with knowing what you like, Kathy Anne. :)


message 17: by Pamela(AllHoney), Danger Zone (new)

Pamela(AllHoney) (pamelap) | 1706 comments Mod
I think I have the Knight-In-Shining-Armor/Handsome-Prince-coming-to-the-rescue image stuck in my head. Carried over from my love of fairy tales and happily ever afters. I want the strong, protective alpha type rushing to my heroine's rescue whether she needs it or not. What does this say about me? Maybe I have some deepseated psychological idea that I need rescuing or something. I don't know.

But I'm not limited to the alphas. I find the idea of a geeky nerd attempting to be more for his lady attractive too.

I'm not really into the addicted, tortured soul that drowns his sorrows in drugs or alcohol. I want my hero strong and ready to perform when his lady needs him. I can handle a hero who has overcome an addiction but I find it hard to read the actual struggle.

I guess in a way I expect my heroes to be impervious to many major flaws. I don't want too much reality in my stories.


message 18: by Gigi (new)

Gigi Hmmm....LOL. What does it say about me? Well, it probably says I need therapy. I like tortured heroes for some reason the most. If they're an Alpha man--even better-fictionwise. However, in real life I'm a beta (manwise) type of girl. I don't have the patience or temper to deal with an Alpha man. LOL


message 19: by ReeCee (new)

ReeCee | 38 comments Could someone please give me a detailed definition of "Alpha Male"??? I think it means something different to me than to other people.


message 20: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9851 comments Mod
This is what I got off Wisegeek.com:

In human societies alpha male can mean very different things. Some use the term to mean the guy who seems most at ease with women and can essentially marry or date any woman of his choice. In this sense the alpha male is often good-looking, has a great build, and may have a relatively high socioeconomic status. These distinctions may be less noticed in human groups like high school settings. Generally the alpha male (or a group of alpha males) are the cutest guys, usually muscle-bound, sometimes the “jocks,” while beta males may be less assured around females and may participate in less “male” activities.

The guys who join math teams or play chess at lunch are usually the beta males and may be thought less attractive by girls. It should be noted that “nerds” (and here we use the term fondly and affectionately), are becoming increasingly popular. As long-term mates or “boyfriends,” they stereotypically on average tend to be nicer and more respectful toward girls. This article also does not imply that all attractive males are necessarily alpha. Alpha males are more about exhibiting traits that are essentially masculine or “macho.” Many attractive males are beta to the core when it comes to relating with people.

In work settings, the alpha male may be a natural leader, exuding confidence. But he also may be contentious, demanding and difficult to work with. This is thought to be in part due to the alpha male attempting to retain his stature, however unconsciously, as alpha. Being the top salesperson, the quickest worker, the most aggressive boss may contribute to remaining at the top, and the alpha male has a tendency to respond aggressively to any attempts by others to outshine him.

This is true in non-human settings too. The alpha male is continually being tested to see if he remains dominant and may need to stage pitched fights with upcoming males in a group to remain “top dog.” In the human setting, the alpha male usually doesn’t fight physically, but instead acts with language, brusque or dismissive behavior, or with other tactics to remain at the top.

Though leaders in a company are excellent to have, alpha male characteristics in the workplace may not always be seen as positive. Aggression and disregard for others are not necessarily inspiring. Some people better lead by being “beta” and having good communication skills, sensitivity toward others, and downplaying their strengths so they can showcase the strengths of others.

In adult social settings, alpha males again may be judged not so much by aggression, but by their ability to get the most attractive women as mates. This is the primary reason for alpha behavior in other animals.

The alpha male in adult society is likely to be confident, attractive, and wealthy. Questions remain as to whether the alpha male can retain mates, since relationships often require ability to compromise, to discuss feelings and to be sensitive. Some alpha males have these characteristics typically thought of as beta, but many of them lack such traits. You can certainly point to prominent alpha males in our society who seem to have poor track records with women, either involving themselves in a succession of failed relationships or marrying one woman after another, with no marriage lasting for very long.


message 21: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4247 comments Mod
ReeCee,

I know there are different types of heroes/males, but I look at them as all being heroes/males.

To me, the Alpha, Gamma, etc. sounds like a fraternity.


message 22: by Gigi (new)

Gigi Here's the dictionary definition:

adj. 1.Being the highest ranked or most dominant individual of one's sex

So, a dominant male.


message 23: by Pamela(AllHoney), Danger Zone (new)

Pamela(AllHoney) (pamelap) | 1706 comments Mod
IMHO I look at Alphas as Gigi's definition. The dominant male. The take charge type that jumps into the role without hesitation. Makes for some great tension when you have a fiesty, head-strong heroine who insists she doesn't need him.


message 24: by Gigi (new)

Gigi Pamela, those are some of my favorite stories!!!


message 25: by ReeCee (new)

ReeCee | 38 comments Thank you guys, for your varied and detailed definitions.

Arch - a fraternity? Now that's an idea....


message 26: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4247 comments Mod
ReeCee wrote: "Thank you guys, for your varied and detailed definitions.

Arch - a fraternity? Now that's an idea...."


Yes, ReeCee. A fraternity. :)


message 27: by Ez (new)

Ez (ezrah-rah) Let’s see…

I’m very fond of tortured heroes. I think this because of my nurturing instinct. I want to comfort them, heal their wounds (emotional and otherwise), and nestle them to my bosom. I like the idea of a man who would need me.

I also like jealous/possessive heroes. This one I can’t really explain because my husband is a very jealous man and it annoys the heck out of me in real life. In my head, the idea of it is cooler than the reality.

I like alpha male/warrior heroes because I’m attracted to dominant, take-charge kind of men. There is some part of me that wants to submit to a man like that. My husband isn’t like that at all - he’s laidback and non-confrontational to a fault - and it’s one thing that annoys me about him. I’m the dominant one in our relationship and sometimes I wish it was more equal. I suppose that’s why these sort of heroes appeal to me the most. I want to feel taken care of and protected. My husband is tall and skinny and I think that in a fight he wouldn’t really be able to defend me. I don’t feel small and dainty with him because I outweigh him by a good amount. I didn’t have that problem with my ex-boyfriend. He was 6’4” and rather intimidating. Too bad he was a total jerk. *sigh*

I love cowboys. There’s just something about a rugged man who looks good in boots, tight jeans, and a Stetson and knows how to handle a horse. It’s all about the fantasy element for me.

Then there are the dangerous heroes, who are probably on the wrong side of the law. I think it’s just that bad boy attraction a lot of women have. You want to be the one who changes them. You want to be the woman who can domesticate that dangerous assassin, government operative, etc. Just the idea of it is hot.

I don’t know what all this says about me as a person overall. LOL. But I guess my favorite types of heroes it do reveal some parts of my personality.


message 28: by Gigi (new)

Gigi Harper! Cool list!


message 29: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9851 comments Mod
Well said, Harper. I think that tortured heroes appeal to me for similar reasons. I hate to see anyone hurting, and I want them to feel better.


message 30: by Ez (new)

Ez (ezrah-rah) Thanks, Gigi!

Danielle, that's exactly how I feel about it. I guess it's no wonder that some of my all-time faves are Zsadist and Carter. You just want to comfort them.


message 31: by Heather (last edited May 10, 2010 12:15PM) (new)

Heather (heatherjoy) I prefer dominate, tormented heroes. I also like them to exhibit some creative talents, but is not required.
To quote Samantha from Sex and the City," I'm harsh, stubborn, demanding, and always right, at home, in the office, and everywhere else." I used to try to deny this about myself, but have since learned to embrace it. The last thing I need is a man that defers to me, as I view that as a sign of weakness. I know, that’s terrible, but true for me. I'm someone who likes to constantly evolve and therefore, require someone who will challenge me. Also, love and hate are tangled together. I like passion, fireworks, and I just can't get that from a guy that doesn't also push my buttons. Deferring to my every want/whim, is not at all challenging, and would grate on my nerves after about day.
I also like heroes that are slightly aloof or display their affection in uncommon ways as I don't like overt displays of affection. I think they are phony as few people truly feel comfortable bearing their heart and soul to someone who has the ability to crush it. Also, clinginess bugs me. Edward Cullen would have driven me mad. I couldn't be with someone who was constantly around. No one is that interesting, imo.

As for why I like them tormented, I can't say. I find honest, real beauty in heartbreak. Anyone can become spectacular under happy, "normal" circumstances/childhood and I think it is rather remarkable to meet an intriguing person that has defied the odds and made something of themselves regardless of their past plights.

Lastly, I’m intrigued by creative types as I am an artist and musician by hobby and I enjoy sharing my interests.


message 32: by Heather (new)

Heather (heatherjoy) Harper, I loved cowboy smut when I was younger. It must be the southerner in me. :)


message 33: by Tatiana (last edited May 10, 2010 12:41PM) (new)

Tatiana (tatiana_g) I don't think my choice of favorite heroes says anything about my personality, because I will like pretty much any guy, if he is written well (except maybe truly abusive). I like them possessive and aggressive (Clayton from Bitten), I like them nerdy and artistic (Seth from Succubus Blues), I like them sarcastic and jealous (Rhett Butler from Gone With the Wind), I like them funny and domineering and full of youthful vigor and desire to please (Jamie from Outlander), I like them reserved and prideful (Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice), or ever tormented and with dark past (famous Eddie Cullen from Twilight).

Most likely, I would never date any of these men in real life, but it's a fantasy world! You can use your imagination to be with a variety of men without actually cheating on your husband. That's my take on it:)


message 34: by Heather (new)

Heather (heatherjoy) LMAO! You're a fictional whench T :).

And I can't believe you left Jaime off the list!


message 35: by Tatiana (new)

Tatiana (tatiana_g) Hold on, I'll correct that oversight. How could I?!!


message 36: by Ez (new)

Ez (ezrah-rah) Great comment, Tatiana! And I agree - even though I do have preferences about heroes, I will like pretty much any one who is written well. I <3 Seth and Carter from the Georgina Kincaid series. And Mr. Darcy, of course. :)


message 37: by Heather (new)

Heather (heatherjoy) Tatiana wrote: "Hold on, I'll correct that oversight. How could I?!!"

I don't know! He would be devestated if he knew. I won't tell him though...


message 38: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9851 comments Mod
I have to agree that it's all about how well an author can bring a character to life, whether I will love him or not.

Heather, I can see where you're coming from with your personality and your chosen mate type. I actually don't do well with people nagging/pushing/prodding me. Personally, I can't stand being around people who like to push buttons. It makes me more onery and less likely to do well. I honestly think I would be driven to homocide if I was with a man like that. It's probably because my family is very critical and I was put under a lot of pressure to be an achiever. As I've aged, I've gotten where I've had my full of being criticized and pressured. But, I can see how that sort of external stimulus could be a positive for someone else. I think that a calm, restful beta can be a positive stimulus for some women. I guess it just depends on the person.


message 39: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4247 comments Mod
I agree with seeing a character come to life on the pages. I know when I write my stories, I like my readers to picture my hero and heroine doing this or that. If the heroine is angry with the hero and she wants to pick him up and throw him outside, I want my readers to be able to see her thoughts.

Writings is so much fun.

As a reader, I want to be able to see the author's/writer's characters. I want to see what makes me like the hero and heroine or even what makes me not like the hero or heroine.

I want to be caught up in the story.

I'll never forget when I was in junior high school and in my social studies class. My teacher let us watch an award show. I forget who won an award, but I do know that I was so much into this award show that when the audience start clapping for this person, I've actually started clapping in my seat. lol, my classmates and teacher looked at me strangely, but hey, I was that much into the award show.

That's how I like to be into a good catcher book.


message 40: by Heather (last edited May 10, 2010 01:36PM) (new)

Heather (heatherjoy) LOL, I understand exactly. I'm single and I have a difficult time finding a man with the right balance. I don't think my type exists in life, hence my dating philosphy "I've read better". Let's face it, I will be hard pressed to find a man who won't back down to me, who can be onery in his own right without driving me to commit murder.


message 41: by Kathy Anne (new)

Kathy Anne (kathyanne) My #1 requireent is an upbeat personality,my hubby has this and is a sexy teaser,and always looks on the bright side ,and his folks were just like that.
My folks are good people but they don`t always look on the bright side,sometimes they are downright dour(I think thats the word I want)and look too much at the worse case scenario.
My hubby is probably the reason I love Arch`s Cop in Tresspassing.


message 42: by Zee (new)

Zee Monodee (zee_monodee) | 688 comments I think mine says I like a man who'll stand up to me, won't back down, won't turn into a doormat. I'm strong-willed and need a man equally strong-willed and sure of himself to draw the line and tell me enough is enough in a calm, quiet way that I'll understand means he's looking out for me and not just trying to stop me from whatever bad thing it is I am thinking of doing or saying.

Uh, my choice of heroes (both read and written) mean I like a strong man?


message 43: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4247 comments Mod
Kathy Anne wrote: "My #1 requireent is an upbeat personality,my hubby has this and is a sexy teaser,and always looks on the bright side ,and his folks were just like that.
My folks are good people but they don`t alw..."


Awwww!


Suzanne (Under the Covers Book blog) | 474 comments My favourie kind of heroes are Alpha males who and strong minded and lets face it completely ripped! The latter part is probably pure female fantasy in the way that men have about boobs and legs! However I do like a hero to be dominant and also in active pursuit of the heroine, so I always like fated mate scenerios.

I think my favourite choice of hero is because in RL, although I don't always seem like it I can be quite strongwilled and a bit cold, I don't really like big shows of affection as it make me uncomfortable, lol I have been accused of being a robot (amongst other less kind things!) but really it is all about control. So having someone "alpha" enough to take my BS and care enough to try and break that control is to me totally hot : ) Although if I did meet someone like that in reality I would be petrified and hide under the nearest table lol


message 45: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9851 comments Mod
That's really profound, Suzanne. I know what you mean about being controlled. I come from a family full of drama queens, so self-control is very important to me. I probably go to the other extreme with my personality.


message 46: by Zee (new)

Zee Monodee (zee_monodee) | 688 comments Suzanne wrote: So having someone "alpha" enough to take my BS and care enough to try and break that control is to me totally hot : ) "

I so understand what you man by that, Suzanne. You said it so well.
Lol, I did meet someone like that in RL and though there isn't lots to be petrified about, they do rattle you in your shoes because they are really competent and calm, I-get-what-I-want-and-what-I-think-you-need types.


Suzanne (Under the Covers Book blog) | 474 comments Thanks, my family is also quite demonstrative and we definately have a few drama queens so god knows where I got my personality traits from! I think sometimes that people who are open with their feelings are quite brave, I can't ever imagine being wide open like that.

I think I would be rattled, I can't ever imagine anyone pursuing me lol! So what what happened with the guy Z?

Also the quiet self assured heroes, who maybe are so brash and arrogant as some of the alphas, bit who are more quietly confident are also quite sexy. I am trying to think of an example... maybe Tyson from Dangerous Tides I think he also counts as a sexy nerd as well!


message 48: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (last edited May 23, 2010 01:24PM) (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9851 comments Mod
I don't know what I'd do if a guy was pursuing me like those stalkerific heroes. Probably run. I loovved Tyson. He was so hot!!!


message 49: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (last edited May 23, 2010 10:16AM) (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9851 comments Mod
Z wrote: "Suzanne wrote: So having someone "alpha" enough to take my BS and care enough to try and break that control is to me totally hot : ) "

I so understand what you man by that, Suzanne. You said it ..."


--I definitely go for calm, controlled guys. Not remote, but not dramatic and crazy-acting. Loud, crazy guys are a turn off for me in real life, although I like a crazy hero in the books.


Suzanne (Under the Covers Book blog) | 474 comments I quite like the stalkerific heroes in books, but I think in RL that would be pretty scary, especially some of Christine Feehans heroes. I am sure some of those would be in prison if they excisted! Although I don't think I would put up too much of a fight if they were as gorgeous as Ilya or Gregori : P

Yeah loud crazy guys are annoying more then anything, I do like crazy in books though, but mmore like the quiet, will he murder me or kiss me kind of crazy!


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