This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion
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I Hate Not Getting Any
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Merwyn
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May 19, 2008 10:34PM
But then again, it's just like being a teen all over again.
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Getting any what? Salmon? Shoe laces? Attention?
Ironically, I had too much salmon last night for dinner! I was soooooooo full! I hated that.
Too much salmon: the new euphemism for sex.
The salmon's struggle to swim upstream and mate is a terrific metaphor for mankind's sex drive, and the consequences of obtaining random nookie. You have quite the way of cutting things down to the quick, my dear Seth. Well done, sir.
As a gesture towards the poor male salmon's struggle, I'm not going to eat that salmon I have sitting in the freezer. The poor feller's suffered enough.
As a gesture towards the poor male salmon's struggle, I'm not going to eat that salmon I have sitting in the freezer. The poor feller's suffered enough.
Poor little fishy. Eat him, Gus! Mine last night was marinated (sp?) in orange juice and a smoked paprika herby thingy. OMG, it was DELICIOUS!!!!!!!
Okay, you two have convinced me. I'm going to take the little salmon fella out of the freezer, let him thaw a bit, and marinate him in some orange teriyaki sauce that give him just the right taste I'm looking for. A nice side dish of steamed green beans and some risotto will do nicely.
Mmmm... And hey, that even sounds healthy.
ummmm.... not to rain on this happy little parade or anything... but i'm fairly certain that salmon spawn (which means no actual salmon on salmon action, i believe)...sorry, sorry. i'm going to go and be a great big geek over there now.
FOR REALZZZZ!!!!! Sucks to be a fish, dudes.
It's still cool that we call you Mutant Mole-Man, though, right?
I meant, "It's still cool that we call you Seth, though, right?"
I'm having a really hard time coming up with a nickname that I think would be flattering AND that you wouldn't hate.Not that Mutant Mole-Man was one of them, mind you. Because it wasn't.
I love Seth almost as much as Sarah Montambo does!
For the record, salmon do spawn, but don't get their heads bitten off. They just die and rot in the shallow water.I assume there's something in it for the spawning male salmon, though, given how desperately they try to leap upstream into the holding pool at the hatchery. It's awesome to watch their determination, even when the gates to the pool are closed and they just keep leaping ten feet up and smacking against the wall.
It's those salmon I feel the sorriest for, though. After all that work to get up the Columbia River, dodging voracious sea lions and vicious hydroelectric turbines as well as all the work it takes just swimming upstream, they make it to that holding pool at the hatchery...and get put on a conveyor belt, then squeezed around the belly to harvest the milt. All that, and no spawning! Poor guys!
Salmon spawn? Fuck this, now I'm not going to eat the salmon in the freeze. I only eat things that fuck in the wild.
Now wait a minute, I never claimed this was some kind of ongoing drought - I'm merely saying that I hate it for the times when it's the case.
Hey, Rummy, have you thought about hanging around at Sexaholics Anonymous meetings? Just play your cards right and you'll be getting some during a coffee break.
Not that I would know. I read it in Choke.
Not that I would know. I read it in Choke.
I just want to get some "down there" love. Seems that men forgot that this was important. As much as men focus on the whole BJ thing, you'd think that they would reciprecate a little more in that department,....but NNNNnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooo!!!They want the bj, then to hop in and get off and get out. Just bugs me. I would do "southern comfort" in exchange for monkey love any day of the week and twice on Sunday! Where ARE you guys?!
We exist, Jill. Unfortunately, some of my male brothers don't know how to eat pussy. Hell, I'd say 80% of the male population wouldn't know how to find the g-spot if you gave them a road map and a hard hat, since no one's invented a GPS for finding the g-spot yet.
G-Spot? Tongue? Gus, please send someone from your gene pool up to NC, would ya?
Sorry, Amanda, but unless you want to get funky with my sister - and that's pretty much a no-go, considering she's about to squirt out a baby any day now - I'm the only male member of my gene pool, especially with that kind of talent.
Nor would I offer up any of my friends. With some, the phrase "one-pump chump" comes to mind.
Nor would I offer up any of my friends. With some, the phrase "one-pump chump" comes to mind.
Oh well, too bad. But if I slip up one of these days and call you Gene Simmons, you'll know why...
"i mean really, what's so difficult about front and center!?"-jane, from coupling.
sorry, just thought that current thread derailment dovetailed nicely with another recent conversation on axis mundi about that brilliant bbc sitcom.
King Dinosaur, the Hoochie-Coochie Man.
lmfao.its funny to hear adults talk about this type of shit.haha.i guess things dont change much when you age.no offense at all to any of you
Seth, I had a stupid grin in my face as I was reading the story develop, expecting the big bang of swimming microscopic spermatozoa, great story. Although I think the "sex was out" thing was weird, it seemed like you two were beyond the comfort level, and you were both attracted to each other. Its not like you wanted to tie her up and pour hot wax on her, because people that do that are weird. But if you are into that ladies, hit me up(wink wink).
There should be a Goodreads "sex talk" group, I'd love to share the worst stories.
you guys are ridiculous
WTF, You god damn sock puppet take a hike!
Thank you Nick, my sentiments exactly. No...Gus, yer not alone. And to all the neophites out there, I'll keep it real simple.
1. Do not assume the persona of a thirsty basset hound.
2. Smooth edges of tounge (sides / top) tend to be more "effective", just be aware for audible clues as to what's working best.
3. If yer in doubt what to do, just trace the letters of the alphabet - it's a start.
4.Do not employ digital stimulation unless you are an accomplished multi-tasker. Leave that to us who know what we're doing. You'll just ruin it for everyone.
I have so many thoughts running through my head... Can. Not. Articulate.Ugh.
We've got time, and we're not too busy. Please articulate, Amanda.
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