I hate my bleeping neighbor

[Amanda]

I took off work today and so, of course, decided to sleep in. I was off in remland enjoying whatever craziness my brain was up to, when suddenly I hear a bang bang bang on my door. And I decide to ignore it. But the bastard kept banging. So, fine, I get up, rub my eyes, search for my glasses, and stumble to the front door. And I'm greeted with, "Are you the homeowner?" Yes, I say. "Are you going to do something with that pile of sticks in your front yard" he says. "Well," I say, "I dontated my back yard to someone doing some community gardens and he put those sticks there and I don't know what he has planned for them." "Well, you should do something sooner rather than later," says my neighbor. And I say, "Why, because my neighbors think it's ugly?" And he said, "No, because I think it's ugly."

Well this is stupid and I'm still pissed that this guy woke me up with all his bullshit banging. What the hell? We don't have an HOA, so you can't tell me to move my sticks. They're just sticks. They're not bodies, or beer cans, or a pen full of barking dogs. They're just sticks in a pile. Fuck off, asshole!

[Amanda]

I know, right?!?!? Seriously, how does that guy have the time or energy to go around being the stick police? Whatev. That's idiotic.

And thanks for the laugh, Kirsty! True, it is funny now that I think about it!

[Theresa]

What an asshole! Unbelievable.

Just goes to show that nothing good ever comes from opening your door to strangers.

Me, I would leave the sticks there and maybe a few more. :)

[Reads with Scotch]

BUILD A TREBUCHET!

[[deleted user]]

When I was clearing some of the dead trees and shrubs from my back yard, my neighbor facing behind my property actually made her way onto my back yard to admonish me for clearing the yard. It's my fucking back yard; if I want to clearcut the fuck out of it, I will.

I built a fence just so I could avoid the twat. She's a nosy shit.

Some neighbors really have too much time on their hands. I'd bang on his door and complain about the color of his front door, and tell him you think it's an eyesore.

Then I'd shit on his lawn, and blame it on IBS.

[Lisa]

A friend of mine found a note in his mailbox demanding that he mow his lawn because it was dragging down the property values of the neigboring houses. I told him he should paper-clip a dollar bill to the note, write on the back that after estimating the value of the neighbor's house, he figured that this should solve the problem, and put it in the neighbor's mailbox. Sadly, though, the note was anonymous.

[Tesse]

As someone with chronic insomnia I hate your neighbor just for waking you up. I am with KD, hold a "Burning Neighbor" event, you decide whether in effigy or in reality.

[Amanda]

Ugh, I so hate my stupid yuppie neighbors. Get over yourselves already. And I'm totally leaving those sticks there by the way. I got my roomie a fire pit for her bday, so we're gonna use them for kindling on hot dog nights this summer. Boo Yeah, Mo Fo!

[Lori]

Oh this is gonna be fun. An ongoing thread featuring Amanda and her new asshole neighbor. Cause this is just the start. What's his name. Ah, we can just call him Dick.

[Ainsley Jo]

If it's a neat pile of sticks, I don't really see what business it is of his. Some people with fireplaces have woodpiles after all.

That's nice of you to let that man plant a community garden in your backyard.