This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion

note: This topic has been closed to new comments.
44 views
I hate that I can't really hate.

Comments Showing 1-50 of 72 (72 new)    post a comment »
« previous 1

message 1: by Heidi (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) It's more of an "I'm not particularly fond of..." kind of thing.


message 2: by [deleted user] (new)

Start a group, and call it The Not Particularly Fond Of Group.


message 3: by Heidi (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) But I want to be a hater!!!


message 4: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) with a name like Heidi you are doomed to cheery disposition. get used to it.


message 5: by Tesse (new)

Tesse (hooksinmyhead) C'mon Heidi...I'll bet there's some hate brewing in there somewhere.

Dig deep...exploitive labor practices of multinational corporations? The over use of goat cheese on pizza? Hangnails that go into the skin? Fake tans that make people orange? Reality TV? Various fatal illnesses? Finding dirt in spinach salad?

Don't give up on hate Heidi!


message 6: by Charissa (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) Tesse's devotion to hate gives me hope for this sorry world. :::tear:::


message 7: by Not Bill (new)

Not Bill You want to hate? That won't cut it. Hate springs eternal...true hate is effortless.


message 8: by [deleted user] (new)

I know Heidi personally. I think she's incapable of hate. But she is capable of giving you a roundhouse kick to the head if you piss her off. So she's got that going for her.


message 9: by Heidi (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) I'm not particularly fond of Mike Huckabeast?


message 10: by [deleted user] (new)

No one really hates Mike Suckabee. He's a twerp, but not twerpy enough to make me hate him.

Dubya, on the other hand...Satan impaling him on the rack isn't enough punishment for that donkey rapist.


message 11: by Heidi (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) Dubya... bugs the shit out of me. He repulses me. But I don't hate him. :-/ Try again.


message 12: by Not Bill (new)

Not Bill 3 words to inspire hate there Heidi. John. Wayne. Gacy.


message 13: by Lisa (new)

Lisa I can happily hate Huckabee, though he was easier to hate when he was a potential nominee (at which point I hated him but wanted him to win because he seemed so easy to beat).


message 14: by [deleted user] (new)

John Wayne Gacy, that clown.

I also recommend Dane Cook.


message 15: by Heidi (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) JWG - scares me... no hate.

Dane Cook - I have no issues with him. I don't know him well enough.

Huckabee was my governor for too damn long. I have serious issues with him, but still... no hate.


message 16: by Sammy (new)

Sammy I personally hate people who can't tell you to your face that they don't want to be friends anymore, you know what's messed up though? She was my best friend, and I liked her as in LIKED her. Now, I dunno.


message 17: by Carlie (last edited May 23, 2008 08:01AM) (new)

Carlie Heidi....you don't hate child molesters? Particularly the ones who rape babies? You're only not fond of them?

And I was totally LMAO at CHarissa's Heidi can't be unsunny schpiel.


message 18: by Heidi (last edited May 23, 2008 12:47PM) (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) Well, you can minimize the tepidness of hate if you'd like with "only not fond of them"... To be "not particularly fond of" something does not mean I don't feel. On the contrary, it's still an adverse reaction or attribution, but I'm not consumed by negativity. Hate's a strong word to use. I'm mindful with the words I choose.

To answer your question, no, I don't hate child molesters. I don't like what they do. I don't hate them, either. I don't believe anyone is beyond redemption. I have this belief through personal experience and through my work. I work with recovering addicts on a regular basis. They're used to people judging them on their past behaviors, past decisions, poor and clouded judgments, etc, etc. Most have a felony criminal history. Most have been abused during their lives. And during their drug and alcohol history, they did things they'd not have done while sober - assault, robbery, rape, fraud, manslaughter, even murder, etc. I've known some fairly dark-souled people.

I can say in all honesty that I believe child molesters should face consequences for their actions. And like the addicts I work with regularly, I believe they should be held accountable for what they do to their victims and the trickled effect their assaults have on the victims' loved ones as well. But wholeheartedly believing that someone should face the consequence of deviant behavior does not equate to hate.


message 19: by [deleted user] (new)

Now you see why I stated earlier that Heidi is incapable of hate.


message 20: by Lori (new)

Lori I love Heidi for her lack of true hate. It's such an energy drain! Too much hate in this world!

I'm trying to think of things I really hate in the essence of the word and I'm coming up blank.Sure, there are many things I can't stand, but true hate?

Altho I don't fool myself enough to think that if someone killed of harmed my kid, I wouldn't descend to hate..


message 21: by Tesse (new)

Tesse (hooksinmyhead) Heidi, I am with you on the concept of hating and the use of the word hate. I am not a hateful person by nature and, as you stated, I generally hate actions and situations that provoke actions rather than people.

I do think that most people who participate here use this group as a way to blow off steam, show off their creativity and find out if they have things in common with other members.

However, "The Mildly to Intensely Annoyed Club" or "Things I Find Rather Irritating Club" just don't have the same ring.




message 22: by Heidi (last edited May 28, 2008 09:56AM) (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) :D You guys and gals are pretty darn spiffy.

I do love alot of stuff (although I don't throw that word around so easily either). Gus invited me into this group. I can giggle along with the comments that others leave... I appreciate the need to vent. So vent away...

I have my parents to thank for instilling my mindfulness of hate - as a toddler, I learned early on that to use that word would get me a ripe punishment, the same as I got when I called my cat Flip Flop a "chickenshit." Soap, mouth... and a stern talking to, time out. The only words they allowed me to use were "I'm not particularly fond of..." Can you imagine a 3 year old saying those words? It was a bit of a struggle to spit them out, so the effort to get my intention across was, more times than not, not worth it. That was probably the smartest bit of parenting they ever put into effect.

In the meantime, I will loom and wait for the day when I can say in all meaningfulness and sincerity "I hate..." Until then, I can at this moment say I am not particularly fond of spiders, egg yolks, vurps, finding lint in my pockets, sophistry, fundamentalism, insulting my intelligence, dishonesty in any form, violence, graphic violence, misogyny, excessive sarcasm, discrimination, parasites, getting a camera for a birthday present from the boyfriend with a video still on it... that he made while "testing it"... a video for someone else... who happened to be a friend (:-\), friends who stop calling without explanation, bad roommates, the smells of Campbell's chicken noodle soup, Aramis, Gillette men's hairspray, and Polo.

That about covers it for now.




message 23: by Carlie (new)

Carlie Oh now I get it. You've been traumatized into not believeing you can hate. Well let's be your therapy. Hate is good as long as you're not hating like a KKK member hates.


message 24: by [deleted user] (new)

I can't wait for Heidi's reply.

Catfight!


message 25: by Carlie (new)

Carlie I love you Heidi. Hugzzzz. Sry Gus, I am not contributing to your delinquency.


message 26: by [deleted user] (new)

I'm a little too old for delinquency.

Perversion, yes, but not delinquency.


message 27: by Carlie (new)

Carlie The age limit for perversion is 21 didn't you know?


message 28: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (randymandy) What's next then? Lechery?


message 29: by Carlie (last edited May 28, 2008 10:15AM) (new)

Carlie Yup, Lechery sounds just about right.

Delinquent, pervert, lecher.....what a nice progression. I thinks we must be missing a few though.


message 30: by Heidi (last edited May 28, 2008 10:16AM) (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) No. NOT traumatized. I wasn't traumatized. In fact, I do thank my parents for teaching me to be careful with the words that come out of my mouth (no sarcasm in subtext). And also consequence. It shaped my whole being and was a great lesson to learn early on. They didn't berate or guilt me into not using the phrase. I did that to myself... with the clarity in understanding of consequence. They never did punish me for using that word because I never used it.

A friend of mine and Gus' (Alika) once got into a huge debate with me. He has abitta hate of which he's quite vocal - for capitalism, "the man," for white people who go to Hawaii and mess up the natural resources there, etc. I know he has alotta love, too. He's so passionate about his heritage and fishing and writing... and pushing the truth.

I apparently set him off on a rant a couple of years ago when I told him that I couldn't think of anything I hate offhand. He believes that someone capable of loving is capable of hating, too... because it boils down to allowing one's self to feel passionately. I reminded him that I don't use the word "love" indiscriminately either. Both words have a specific and special meaning for me. I don't throw them around as though they're trivial. They're special words... special emotions to be used on special occasions and not to be watered down by overuse, at least not for me.








message 31: by Carlie (new)

Carlie I love overuse. I think as long as people get your point, it doesn't matter what specific words you use. I mean, isn't it obvious that my hate for people (Bush, KKK, child molesters) is different than my hate for ingrown nails, pink, and pickles? There's no way I'm only not fond of the guy that kidnapped me as a child. He's lucky someone already took a machete to his head before I grew up.


message 32: by Heidi (last edited May 28, 2008 10:23AM) (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) Gus talks some serious shit, but he does his homework. And anyone who throws words, insults, barbs, sarcasm his way better be ready and warned to get it dosed back eleventy billionfold. He's the master of wit and debate. El Presidente. If you've maligned him in any way, and he hasn't responded publically, I can assure you that he's got "words" boiling about in his noggin for you. He may be perverse (admittedly and unashamedly so), but there's nothing delinquent or lecherous about him.


message 33: by Carlie (new)

Carlie Whoa Heidi.....that came outta nowhere!


message 34: by Carlie (last edited May 28, 2008 10:28AM) (new)

Carlie Thanks Sarah....I'd love to write about it someday but I don't think it's as interesting as it sounds.
For instance, he was a friend of my dad's and only kidnapped us to get my dad to sign over the deed to our house to him and the only weird thing he did was give us shots (the needle kind) of something or other. Well, he also tried to feed us what I would consider as horse food - boiled barley. Wish he weren't dead so I can find out what was in there. And there were a ton other kids there too.


message 35: by Heidi (last edited May 28, 2008 10:26AM) (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) It was written in a light tone... not attack verbiage... pinky swear (it's true, though).


message 36: by Carlie (new)

Carlie I think Gus would be proud to call himself a lecher. as long as you don't call him.....what did that kid call him again? Sick F*ing pig wasn't it?


message 37: by [deleted user] (new)

Heidi, I loooooooove you!

One thing I noticed about Heidi is that she chooses her words carefully. Even when you're talking to her in person, you can see she's formulating exactly what she wants to say to you in her head. Nothing she says is accidental...unless booze is involved.

And, yes, she's totally right in her description of me. RAWR!


message 38: by Heidi (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) You should ask Gus to share his open letter to Senator Larry Craig. It is vicious (and HI larious). Trust me. I know Gus. He would not like being called a lecher, esp. now that he's a daddy and an uncle.


message 39: by Carlie (last edited May 28, 2008 10:36AM) (new)

Carlie Full of yourself a bit?

Craig....that's the wide stance guy right?


message 40: by [deleted user] (new)

Nah, "lecher" reminds of some creepy old man who wears a soiled raincoat and says disgusting things to children. That's certainly not me.

I will, however, admit to being a pervert. After all, I obsess on absolutely gross details, like which female celebrities take it in the shitter.

Just ask my wife. She's a saint for putting up with my psychotic foibles. Plus, she let me impregnate her. What a doll!


message 41: by Heidi (last edited May 28, 2008 10:38AM) (new)


message 42: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (randymandy) ew

to your middle paragraph


message 43: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (randymandy) PS. I wasn't calling Gus a lecher. Just so we're all clear on that point...


message 44: by Carlie (last edited May 28, 2008 10:43AM) (new)

Carlie Dude.....I wanna read that letter. Where's is at?

I think we know Amanda. I thought we were just discussing the age limits of perverted labels in a tongue and cheek fashion. That's why I was like Whoa Heidi!


message 45: by Heidi (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) I knew that, Amanda... You were asking if that's the next phase after delinquency. I would be curious to know the progression, myself.


message 46: by Heidi (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) Gus, I'm shaking my head at you right now... Your wife is a saint for many more reasons than just putting up with your "psychotic foibles" and "letting you impregnate her" (a nice acknowledgment that SHE wears the pants in your family).


message 47: by [deleted user] (new)

I posted my open letter to Mr. Wide Stance on my MySpace profile". I can't hard-link to the actual blog itself, since my place of work blocks my access to MySpazz, but feel free to look it up.

I may have a text version of it on my thumb drive. If so, I'll post it up here as well.

PS - Amanda, no offense taken.


message 48: by [deleted user] (new)

Of course, Heidi. Jaime is a saint in my eyes for so many reasons than the ones I listed. I just skimmed the tip of the iceberg.

She's a saint, but she can be quite the devil too. And I'm more than happy to acknowledge that she wears the pants in the family. Those pants look good on her.


message 49: by Heidi (last edited May 28, 2008 10:52AM) (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) See, folks!!? Gus isn't ALL pervy and wind. He can be sweet, too... esp. when it comes to speaking kindly of Jaime and his daughter. That's my fave thing about you, Gus. You're such an encourager to the women in your life. And you don't seem to have a bit of pretense or superficiality to you.


message 50: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (randymandy) Ok, fantastic. This internesz speek iz hard.


« previous 1
back to top
This topic has been frozen by the moderator. No new comments can be posted.