This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion

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Update on-"I hate being scared of my bf"

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PurpleObsessor_15 (hunnybunn13) I'm not so scared anymore. I've gotten to know him better and I know he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. The thing is I started liking this other guy closer to my age. Now a rumor went around that I was gonna dump my bf for him. When my bf confronted me he said "If you want to go out with him we can be friends"...IS THAT SWEET OR WHAT!!?? Now I have to make a decision. The only thing holding me back is I DO like my bf and I get teased for liking the other guy (who likes me ALOT). HELP..... S.O.S.!!!


message 2: by raerae (new)

raerae ouch. well who do you think is a better friend to you? who have ya known longer? and what do ya like about both of them? list them and i'll tell you my opinion if u want it.


PurpleObsessor_15 (hunnybunn13) ok...troy(16 yr old)- understanding, good conversation, helps me prepare for high school, on probation, GREAT kisser (not that that matters), but he wasn't too specific about why he asked me out. All i remember him saying was because i'm "the hottest??? girl he met"?? suthin to do w/ hotness. known him a month or so...sorta feel like i have to be PERFECT aroung him, gave me an 8 on a scale of 1-10, at bit TOO grabby.

Blass (call him hershey:12 yr old)- liked me the first day i met him, REALLY wants to go out with me, LOTSA fun to be with, fun to have tickle fights with, easier to talk to, a LITTLE perverted, gave me a 10 on a scale of 1-10 (didn't hesitate sayin' it either), I'm teased more for liking him, likes to hug me more than kiss (as far as i know) I like that better, wierd huh? known him about a week or 2.

Tell me what u think.


message 4: by Lisa (new)

Lisa I think that at 13, it's going to be impossible to understand that until you've known someone for a year or so, you're just guessing what s/he might be like.

Though of the two, one of them you described as 'fun' and seems to make you laugh (tickle fights, anyhow), and the other's on probation. Seems like a no-brainer to me.


message 5: by Reads with Scotch (last edited Jun 06, 2008 08:25AM) (new)

Reads with Scotch Anyone, please... just start beating me in the head with something blunt. I knew I should have just skipped this thread over. I knew what I would find. So for being stupid just put me down like old yeller.


message 6: by Carlie (new)

Carlie you're being statutorily raped and can't even see it.


Reads with Scotch We can discuss my punishment fetish in another thread Sarah. This one is beneath me.


message 8: by Emma (new)

Emma  Blue (litlover) I think you should go with the boy your age, you'll have more fun and less pressure with him.


message 9: by Carlie (new)

Carlie <----- eagerly knocks some sense into Nick by beating him over the head with a medium-sized mallet.


Reads with Scotch Go for the bigger mallet Carlie. You have a lot of pounding to do.


message 11: by Carlie (new)

Carlie Sorry, already used it on the original poster for being an idiot kid letting some old pervert use her for sex.


message 12: by Novi (new)

Novi Bobby Ugh.. my head get dizzy from the back-and-forth jumping of the "minor" talk to "over-21" talk...


message 13: by Carlie (new)

Carlie well to me, 16 would be close to her age and she clearly stated he was not. Also, since this IS in the I hate sex thread....


message 14: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Bunch 'o' assumptions.

She's 13, he's 16, that's an "older man" to her. Always check the definitions before judging. In this case, it required reading more than one thread. Gosh, life is difficult sometimes, huh?

This thread really ought to have ended up in the "I Hate The Littlest Haters" category, but really, the point of "I Hate Sex" was to have a category of threads that related to sex in the haters' forum, not to indicate that everyone who posted here, or even everyone who started a thread here, actually hates sex specifically or in the abstract (I'm pretty sure it got filed here based on someone else's opinion). I can't always follow what GC1Mil is on about, but I don't think she hates sex, nor has she had had anything forced on her. In fact, I believe in the end she praised her whatever-he-is for not pressuring her, despite her fears.

Kids are going to be immature, but they still have choices to make. What choices should we shame them for? I've pretty much found this whole issue creepy, but Ms. GC1Mil has at least been asking some age-appropriate questions in some age-appropriate situations.

Dear GC1KMil...you probably aren't the first girl your age to ask these questions. I appreciate that you're doing some thinking about it. It's terribly hard, but do your best to keep any relationship tentative until you feel more sure. I know it's hard to believe, but you'll almost never lose a boy by telling him you might be interested, but you're not sure what you want. If you've got any more questions about WTF to do once you've given messages you are/are not/aren't sure whether you're interested, let us know. I'll try to cut through the bullshit and ridicule and give you at least a genuine grown-up perspective (while still remembering what it was like to be in my teens).


message 15: by Carlie (new)

Carlie I wasn't allowed to date until I graduated college. I suggest you voluntarily do the same.


message 16: by Lori (new)

Lori Whaaaaat? Oh you poor child!


message 17: by Lisa (last edited Jun 10, 2008 01:36AM) (new)

Lisa How could you not have been allowed to do something several years into adulthood? Sounds like it involved some complicity on your part.

I don't think it'll help her much with her naivete if she eschews her attempts at social experimentation until the age when people first start giving it up to settle down. In fact, despite her poor ability to articulate her situation, I'm gonna go out on a limb and commend GC1mil for not confusing dating with sex, and for trying out the former while being pretty certain she's not ready for the latter.


message 18: by Carlie (new)

Carlie of course it did (complicity). I saw what happened to some girls who couldn't wait, including my own sisters. I was pretty focused on what was most important, my education. That attitude got me pretty far, further than most of my peers.
I just wanted this child to know that there are other options out there. She doesn't HAVE to experiment with sex. Sure she can and get lucky and escape STDs, pregnancy, or a broken heart. OR, she can completely focus on herself and wait until she has completely developed as a human being before exposing herself to potential disaster.
We are completely different in that I would not commend a 13 yr old who is afraid of her much older boyfriend.


message 19: by Carlie (new)

Carlie oh I love this american life but since its on on sundays, I dont hear it unless im in the car. I'm sure that must have been one hell of a story.


message 20: by Tracy (new)

Tracy actually carlie, i think a better idea would be for GC1mil to take things slowly, just like she is. and then do some research and get herself informed, so that she's not floundering and confused and stupid about sex when she hits her 20s, like so many girls i've known. i get where you're coming from, but complete avoidance is very rarely a good thing, and can only lead to awkward (and quite possibly dangerous) ignorance later.

i'd say, from my own observation, that a lot of girls can't or won't discuss their feelings, reservations, whatever with their partners, leading to all sorts of bad things. so anything she can do to increase her own self confidence enough to enable her to verbalize her own wants and needs is a good thing, including dating.


message 21: by [deleted user] (new)

Whatever, Eugene. I'm sure there's a woman out there that enjoys sex from a one-pump chump like yourself.


message 22: by Novi (new)

Novi Bobby Heh? Eugene is back on the scene?

Eugene, just because you don't like what some people like, doesn't make them freaks. Maybe you're the freak.


message 23: by Tesse (new)

Tesse (hooksinmyhead) I'm working on it but thanks for regulating while I'm away.


message 24: by Novi (new)

Novi Bobby LOL!!!!!!!!! Tesse, are you going to do that each time he pops up?


message 25: by Tesse (last edited Jun 19, 2008 12:05PM) (new)

Tesse (hooksinmyhead) He just tried to jump in as "Jack Smith".

What a choad.

And Gene.

And Mike.

And Kay.




message 26: by Novi (new)

Novi Bobby HAHAHAHA... He loves the haters a little too much!


message 27: by Carlie (new)

Carlie I'm as puzzled as Emma thanks to the necessary edits.


message 28: by Tesse (new)

Tesse (hooksinmyhead) Sorry for that, I just wanted him to know that his comments were not welcome.

For a while it felt like I was training a puppy!

No Eugene! Bad! Drop it. Drop it. DROP IT!!!

Phew, that's over.

Ah, crap he got in again.

NO! DROP IT!!!




message 29: by Carlie (new)

Carlie Am I just crazy or wouldn't it be possible to befriend him and show him the error of his ways and why his behavior is unacceptable through patient conversation?


message 30: by [deleted user] (new)

You can show him the error of his ways, but trolls like "Eugene" are like people who love to make prank phone calls. They're friendless, socially-inept, basement-dwelling chronic masturbators who just don't get it.


message 31: by Dave (new)

Dave Russell Wait, did we ever get clarification on why "hubby" was a "black" thing? I must know what he meant!


message 32: by Tesse (new)

Tesse (hooksinmyhead) Carlie:

A. That is a very nice thought but he needs to take some responsibility and do some work himself, I get very tired of having to explain how racism and heterocentrism operate to people who can't be arsed to think in a critical fashion. If you have the time and energy to get in touch with Eugene and engage him about his theories and attitudes, more power to you.

B. Even more important than A- I don't want his crap to make people who aren't straight white men feel unwelcome here.

Gus:

You rock

Dave:

No, he never clarified that.




message 33: by [deleted user] (new)

Tesse:

I know. But thank you for pointing that out anyway.


message 34: by Tesse (new)

Tesse (hooksinmyhead) Yeah, well sometimes stating the obvious is the only time I'm right.


message 35: by Carlie (new)

Carlie Dave...I think he was under the mistaken impression that blacks call husbands hobbies.


message 36: by Dave (new)

Dave Russell Why would he think that though? Did he hallucinate it? Did he hear one Black person say it and assumed it applied universally. He seemed so bizarre I just have to delve deeper. He's like that dung beetle from Microcosmos. It's strange yet fascinating at the same time. Now I'm obsessing.


message 37: by Carlie (last edited Jun 20, 2008 09:13AM) (new)

Carlie It's always seemed strange to me how racist people see one black person do something and assume it's all blacks except in the case of positive things. How come upon seeing Dr. Ben Carson featured on major tv networks, racists don't say "damn, all those blacks are brain surgeons"
Or on seeing Condoleeza Rice play the piano, "damn, all blacks are musical prodigies"
Or on seeing Oprah "damn those millionaire blacks"


message 38: by Chloe (new)

Chloe (countessofblooms) Dave, such comparisons do a disservice to noble dung beetles everywhere plugging away at their poo balls.


message 39: by Dave (new)

Dave Russell Lol, Logan.


message 40: by Tracy (new)

Tracy scarab beetles ARE dung beetles. that's why the eqyptians often pictured scarab beetles holding the sun: a god who took the form of a scarab was in charge of all the solar movements (pushing the sun around the sky and the underworld like a gigantic ball of dung). they also had a lot to do with resurrection and rebirth, since they like to lay their eggs in dead things, and thus, are born from death.

:)


message 41: by Carlie (new)

Carlie SCOFF! Poo rollers! Sh*t-mongers!


message 42: by Tesse (new)

Tesse (hooksinmyhead) Awww...they're doin' it.

Bug sex! Bug sex!

This reminds me of going to San Diego zoo and seeing meer cats "getting frisky" with each other.
The only other people at the exhibit were a man and his young son. At first the dad tried the 'ignore it and maybe the kid won't say anything' tactic but within a minute the child was asking what the meer cats were up to. He turned red and muttered something about piggy back rides and then hauled the kid off to an exhibit where the inmates weren't fucking like mad.
I'm sure it didn't help that the person I was with and I were snickering and poking each other in the ribs.

So I have the sense of humor of a twelve year old, animal sex can be funny!

Hell, people sex can be funny.


message 43: by Carlie (new)

Carlie That reminds me, I need to get my schpiel down for when my baby asks me this inevitable question. It's gonna be hard trying to avoid all the scientific jargon that she will not understand. Man, I'm going to have to explain almost every word - penis, vagina, ejaculate, sperm, egg, copulation, procreation - I wonder if social worker Lisa has a child friendly sex education paragraph.


message 44: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Well, I've got a stack of books, both directed at parents and directed at kids. I probably should develop a paragraph or two, though, because now that I think about it, I bet foster parents avoid the subject like the plague, and some of the kids are never getting out of foster care. And oh, crap...I bet the full-day special-ed kids in the behavior classrooms aren't even getting the watered-down school-curriculum sex ed.

Perhaps I should put some paragraphs together for a foster parent training night... (man, I turn red speaking in public anyway!)


message 45: by Tracy (new)

Tracy the zoo i used to work (as a teacher's aide for kiddie zoo classes) at during my summers in junior high had this spectacular section called "jungle trails," that was basically the rainforests of asia and south america, condensed into about 8 city blocks of winding trails and habitats. well, obviously, they had a lot of primates in them. and apparently, the most funnest thing in the world for all those monkeys (besides eating) was vigorously masturbating. all the time. with toys, with food, with each other, all alone. it was hilarious. except that we were attempting to herd a pack of other people's 6 year olds who were all exceedingly interested in what the monkeys were doing. needless to say, kind of awkward.


message 46: by Tesse (new)

Tesse (hooksinmyhead) Did posts get deleted from this thread?

Because the above diatribe doesn't seem to fit here.

Elsewhere, sure.

WHAHIIOGBB, is it really easier to type hunny rather than honey? They have the same amount of letters.


message 47: by Emma (new)

Emma  Blue (litlover) God, they can never take a joke can they?


message 48: by Emma (last edited Jun 28, 2008 10:59AM) (new)

Emma  Blue (litlover) Haha! So whose the joke, there's too many to choose from........


message 49: by Dave (new)

Dave Russell [Stomp, stomp, stomp] I can take a joke. It's seriousness I can't stand. [Stomp, stomp, stomp]


message 50: by Emma (new)

Emma  Blue (litlover) Haha, you guys never sneeze to make me laugh.


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