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Daily Chat
OH UGH. I mean, good morning. My daughter started her outdoor practice schedule for swim team today. What does that mean? She has to be at the pool at 6:15 a.m. What does that mean? I have to drive her to the pool by 6:15 a.m. Yes, a.m.
Still playing catch-up :) But I did want to chime in on the rudeness (or ignorance?) of some people -- My oldest granddaughter has Down Syndrome. No one's told her that she has limits, so she doesn't seem to have any (which is good). There are people, though, who see us out shopping or whatever who feel the need to come up to me and offer their 'condolences' on having a special needs child. I've gotten pretty good at letting them know that (a) Abby is just a pretty young lady who happens to be a little different and (b) I'm the grandmother. Seems that most people assume that because she has Down, that the older woman with her must be the mom..... There have been doctors who do this: address me with what they're doing. Sometimes even after its pointed out that they don't need to talk to me, they should talk to her mother.Ah, well, people will be people, and some will be rude, no matter what else happens. At least that's a constant I can count on LOL
Christine wrote: "OH UGH. I mean, good morning. My daughter started her outdoor practice schedule for swim team today. What does that mean? She has to be at the pool at 6:15 a.m. What does that mean? I have to d..."
Good morning Christine! Or is it lunch time already? Having kids is great! (repeat that at 6am).
It's "hammer time" for me with vacation prep! Hope everyone has a great day! :)
Good morning Christine! Or is it lunch time already? Having kids is great! (repeat that at 6am).
It's "hammer time" for me with vacation prep! Hope everyone has a great day! :)
Have a brilliant trip Jeannette!
Jeannette wrote: It's "hammer time" for me with vacation prep! Hope everyone has a great day! :)
Oh, now I have that song in my head.
Good luck with the prep, Jeannette! I'll miss you! Have a great trip! (When did you say you'll be back? I can't find it.)
Oh, now I have that song in my head.
Good luck with the prep, Jeannette! I'll miss you! Have a great trip! (When did you say you'll be back? I can't find it.)
I'm having issues with my computer, so I haven't posted pictures yet. I hope to at some point today.
Thanks everyone! I'll be back on June 22, jet-lagged. I may get a chance to check in during the stay in Germany (thru June 10). If I do, I'll come by and say "hi!".
I'll be almost close enough to drop in to see Hayes, but not quite! :(
I'll miss you wonderful people, too!
I'll be almost close enough to drop in to see Hayes, but not quite! :(
I'll miss you wonderful people, too!
Mod
Jeannette wrote: "Thanks everyone! I'll be back on June 22, jet-lagged. I may get a chance to check in during the stay in Germany (thru June 10). If I do, I'll come by and say "hi!".
I'll be almost close enough ..."
I was thinking that, actually. Too bad :-( I'd love to meet you.
I'll be almost close enough ..."
I was thinking that, actually. Too bad :-( I'd love to meet you.
Lee wrote: "Oh my goodness! You are going for three weeks!!!! Jeannette, we are so going to miss you! I hope you have a wonderful time. xo"
Thanks, Lee. 18 days and I can't imagine what my mail box will look like! I may have to turn off digests and emails, but I hate to!
Thanks, Lee. 18 days and I can't imagine what my mail box will look like! I may have to turn off digests and emails, but I hate to!
Someday, Hayes! You never know where we might go in Europe (well, except for Germany, of course). With you as a tour guide, Rome seems much more appealing! :)
Jeannette wrote: "Thanks everyone! I'll be back on June 22, jet-lagged. I may get a chance to check in during the stay in Germany (thru June 10). If I do, I'll come by and say "hi!".I'll be almost close enough ..."
Have a good trip, Jeannette, and if your German in-laws get too demanding and bullying, just go for a walk (or tell them that they are being really Prussian, well that's advice I should give to myself as well).
That would be something to make him pop his cork, Gundula! lol He is just a big baby sometimes, and I just have to be careful with what I say. The last time he got mad at me, my mother-in-law stuck up for me! So, things have improved. It's way better than when we were newlyweds! :)
Jeannette wrote: "That would be something to make him pop his cork, Gundula! lol He is just a big baby sometimes, and I just have to be careful with what I say. The last time he got mad at me, my mother-in-law stu..."I can speak from experience when I say that German families can be a huge and annoying pain in the butt. But, I really hate what you've described, sort of like, they can say what they want and be as insulting as they like etc., but if you dare to retaliate, they act as though you are being an ungrateful child who is throwing a temper tantrum (it's even worse with my family, they don't want to see my boyfriend, but expect me to visit them, I have not for a long time, but this is creating huge problems not just for me, but for my relationship with my significant other as well). I'm glad your mother-in-law stuck up for you!!
My father-in-law wants to be in charge, that's his main problem. For a long time we butted heads about a lot of trivial stuff. He also tends to sulk and then get angry over something minor, because he has piled it up.
It is way better than before. I used to get tense a month before our trip. Now it's only been the last few days. They have never been insulting, and they can be really generous and a lot of fun, too! He's just hyper-sensitive at times and that makes me a bit anxious. It is all of it really stupid. I am just glad that my husband is nothing like his dad! :)
It is really dumb that your family is putting you in such a bind. Makes you want to say "Love me, love my boyfriend, or leave me alone!" You've got to pick what's best for you and they need to grow up! It's hard when they make you miserable like that.
It is way better than before. I used to get tense a month before our trip. Now it's only been the last few days. They have never been insulting, and they can be really generous and a lot of fun, too! He's just hyper-sensitive at times and that makes me a bit anxious. It is all of it really stupid. I am just glad that my husband is nothing like his dad! :)
It is really dumb that your family is putting you in such a bind. Makes you want to say "Love me, love my boyfriend, or leave me alone!" You've got to pick what's best for you and they need to grow up! It's hard when they make you miserable like that.
Jeannette wrote: "My father-in-law wants to be in charge, that's his main problem. For a long time we butted heads about a lot of trivial stuff. He also tends to sulk and then get angry over something minor, becau..."It's definitely a pain. Anyhow, I hope you have a good time on your trip. I would love to visit Norway (Sweden even more due to the amount of great children's literature I have read, in translation, of course).
Oh, yes, we are planning to! *thanks* We hadn't planned on Norway, but this choir tour should be a lot of fun! :)
Have a GREAT trip Jeannette!!!Families are a blessing and a curse. All my in-laws live far away in India in a traditional joint family. My brother and his wife live in Philly. He and my hubby never saw eye-to-eye and, even now, they have just a civil relationship.
I've always lived either with my parents and after I got married, we lived with my parents on and off until hubby got settled(no picnic). We were always within a half hour drive until now. I do feel guilty about them not being able to see my daughter, their only grandchild, as often. But, overall, I think it's better for our mutual relationship. When we do visit, we stay for about a week and have a nice relaxing time. My brother is visiting them this weekend. He only stays briefly and I think that works both for both parties :). Both he and my mom are strong personalities. In the past my brother and dad had strong personality conflicts but now their relationship is much improved.
Jeannette, in my case, it's my dad that sulks and he's a master at it. Also, my parents have this thing where if I have a conflict/argument with either both will be mad at me even if they know I may be right. Hubby can be infuriatingly objective and may even take their side.
Luckily hubby is not passive and plays the intermediary with his family if necessary. I do the same for him with my family.
So, Jeannette, on one hand, I envy you your upcoming trip, on the other hand...
Gundula, I can sooo relate with what you're saying about parental conflict. If you say anything back or use the wrong tone, or raise your voice, you are being disrespectful. My parents adapt and tout Eastern/Western traditions and social mores at whim, whichever is convenient for them.
Well, luckily I am only staying for 5 days, and we have learned how to avoid conflict (kind of). We will be in Norway for 10 days with the choir. So, please be envious rather than concerned. I can't remember how I started this. Families sure can be complicated.
So, you aren't the kind of daughter who has her mother come for 4 months at a time?
So, you aren't the kind of daughter who has her mother come for 4 months at a time?
Ok, I'm more envious. I've never been to Norway. Staying with a host family should be interesting.Nope, mom doesn't stay with us for an extended period of time. She's sleeps best in her own bed (in a separate room because dad snores :)). Besides, for all our sanity sake, I think that's best.
She likes it best when we visit their place.
Mona wrote: "Ok, I'm more envious. I've never been to Norway. Staying with a host family should be interesting.Nope, mom doesn't stay with us for an extended period of time. She's sleeps best in her own bed (..."
You know, I feel really guilty about not visiting my parents, but unless they extend the invitation to my boyfriend as well, I honestly don't know what to do. If I go and visit, it would be a total slap in the face to my boyfriend, and I would basically be caving in to my parents' demand, but I do miss them. However, they don't really understand me (I am sort of the odd one out), and when I do clumsy things or put my foot in my mouth, they always assume that I am somehow doing it deliberately. What a pain!!
I feel for you, very much, Gundula. But, you can't let them treat you that way, as hard as it is. They need to accept you and who you are with.
Jeannette wrote: "I feel for you, very much, Gundula. But, you can't let them treat you that way, as hard as it is. They need to accept you and who you are with."I know. But it's hard, I usually know what I should say to them, but if they call me or start talking at me (and my siblings have started to join in as well), it's hard not to capitulate. But, I'm educating myself etc. on how to deal with them (and, honestly, if they really wanted to see me, they would not put all these restrictions in place). Enough whining for now. Hope you have a good time (I've actually never been in Hildesheim even though it's so close to Hannover, another problem when we go to Germany, or when we went to Germany, one usually has no time for oneself or to do what one wants, everything is visit, visit, visit).
Gundula: If it's not too personal, what issue do your parents have with your boyfriend?It's admirable that you're supporting your boyfriend and standing your ground. But, yes, I'm sure you miss them. It's really hard to bite your tongue sometimes and it doesn't help that your siblings are joining in.
When we visit India, we try to stay at home as much as possible and avoid all but the most obligatory/formality visits. Another thing about India, NOBODY calls first. They just drop in.
Gundula, My cousin was a serial romanticist and married 3 or 4x - I can't remember. His mother refused to have anything to do with his last (at that time girlfriend who also had a child by him). And my aunt and uncle accepted everybody! I think in her case she was tired of becoming so attached to these women and then not seeing them anymore after the breakup. But she was wrong because this last girlfriend who later married did not associate with my aunt who by that time felt terrible and wanted to be in her life and see her grandchild. I suggest you have a wonderful vacation in Germany with your boyfriend, go where you want, see what you want, and then 2 days before you leave, call up your family and ask if they want to see you AND your BF. If not, you have had a great trip!
I don't really know exactly, but I think that he is just too weird for them. Just like me, he has a tendency to be a bit chaotic and to say the wrong things, but he's even a bit more extreme than I am. And, I think that my family sort of resent the fact that they cannot really yell at him and insult him the way they can with me. For them, making a good impression, doing the "right thing" and what the neighbours think etc. is more important than your own feelings etc. Before I met my boyfriend, my parents used to say that if we were visiting any of their friends etc. that I should not be telling them that I have a PhD in German and that this was not the right kind of conversation to have with them. It was acceptable to talk business, but because I have rather "socialist" economic and political views, that got me in trouble as well. I agree, my boyfriend does have issues and our relationship is pretty rocky at the moment, but that is mostly because of the fact that my parents basically don't want anything to do with him (and honestly, if I was not their daughter, they would probably not want much to do with me as well, because they certainly don't take me seriously or accept my point of view, I might be a bit of a dreamer and an idealist, but where would the world be without us).
I find it so difficult sometimes to hold my tongue because of some of my own "socialist" tendencies, esp in Boise. Fortunately, there are a lot of liberal and like-minded people who are my friends. There is probably some throwback in your family whose genes you have - but they will never tell you! Stay strong and do what is best for you.
Can't type much, had nails done for wedding tomorrow, don't want to chip them. Have a great trip, Jeannette!
Gundula: "making a good impression, doing the right thing, what the neighbors think," all this is VERY familiar to me.After I got married, we waited a while before we had my daughter. My mother kept saying that people in her social circle keep asking her why we don't have kids yet and that we are setting a bad example. I told her that whether and/or when we have kids is NONE OF THEIR DAMN BUSINESS. Yes, I used the word "Damn" because I was pissed and fed up. In the Indian community, your business is everyone's business. My father-in-law would be shocked that we really don't interact much with our neighbors. In India, that is just not done. Your neighbors know EVERYTHING. If there is a different car in your driveway, they want to know why.
So do your parents have someone more "appropriate" in mind for you?
What is their problem with a PhD in German? Are you too educated and intimidating?
When my brother was in medical school, he took a couple years off to get a Masters in Renaissance Literature. My parents just didn't get it and WWIII broke out in our house. In India, guys don't have many choices profession-wise. Either you're a doctor, engineer, or computer-something.
Mona wrote: "Gundula: "making a good impression, doing the right thing, what the neighbors think," all this is VERY familiar to me.After I got married, we waited a while before we had my daughter. My mother k..."
I'm just glad that I was really, really lousy in math, otherwise I probably would have had to get an MBA. Actually, I am a bit ticked off retrospectively, as my parents basically talked me out of getting a degree in history, saying that it would be easier to get good jobs in languages/literatures, how wrong they were.
So, did your brother go back to Medical School and become a doctor, or did he make professional use of his Masters in Renaissance Literature (not that that matters, education and knowledge is an end in itself).
I cannot imagine whom my parents would pick for me, but I'm sure he would be boring and business oriented most likely.
My parents talked me out of going to school at UW-Wisconsin Madison because I would have to move away from home. Yet my brother was allowed to. The double standard is alive and well.Yes, my brother finished his medical education and became a doctor but not in the specialty my parents would have preferred. He's a psychiatrist.
Before he married his wife, they were dating for about 7 years but my parents never knew. I did though because he used to confide in me. We're only a year apart(I'm older).
Good morning everyone! It's off to the airport! Have a great June and everyone stay safe and accident free. :)
Kathy and Hayes -- keep an eye on Christine for me! I'll report back to all of you if I eat any really great food, especially German pastries! *yum*
Kathy and Hayes -- keep an eye on Christine for me! I'll report back to all of you if I eat any really great food, especially German pastries! *yum*
I'm probably too late to catch you, Jeannette, but have a wonderful trip, and we'll watch Christine. LOL!
My desktop computer crashed, probably the freaking motherboard again. The motherboard went out right before the year warranty ended last summer, so I was able to get it fixed at no expense to me. However, this year is another story. I'm glad I have my laptop, but the battery only lasts a couple of hours. That should be enough, but it isn't always. Going to a wedding later today, should be fun. Talk to you all later. Everyone have a great day!
Have a fun time at the wedding, Kathy!
Mary wrote: "Have a fun time at the wedding, Kathy!"Thanks, Mary. I am taking one of my best friends as my date, since my husband isn't here, and we should have a blast.
Jeannette wrote: "Good morning everyone! It's off to the airport! Have a great June and everyone stay safe and accident free. :)
Kathy and Hayes -- keep an eye on Christine for me! "
Hmmm...now I want to get into more trouble than usual, haha! We'll miss you tons, Jeannette!
I missed the early morning posting because my daughter had to be at her first swim meet by 6:00 this morning. Yikes! Of course, we ended up getting poured on (maybe it was a tsunami...didn't realize that we got those in Illinois) and the meet got called.
Have fun at the wedding, Kathy!
Kathy and Hayes -- keep an eye on Christine for me! "
Hmmm...now I want to get into more trouble than usual, haha! We'll miss you tons, Jeannette!
I missed the early morning posting because my daughter had to be at her first swim meet by 6:00 this morning. Yikes! Of course, we ended up getting poured on (maybe it was a tsunami...didn't realize that we got those in Illinois) and the meet got called.
Have fun at the wedding, Kathy!
Hayes wrote: "Roger wilco!!"
Ten four, rubber ducky! The eagle has landed! Over and out!
Ten four, rubber ducky! The eagle has landed! Over and out!
Christine wrote: "Hayes wrote: "Roger wilco!!"Ten four, rubber ducky! The eagle has landed! Over and out!"
What's the vector, Victor?
(sorry girls that was the only "pilot" saying I could think of)
Good morning! I woke up way too early, and I should have used the quiet time to read before the kids woke up, but I have been bouncing around online, reading reviews, dog-blogging with Dixie, and exploring goodreads. I hope that everyone has a great start to the day!
Just go tback from my cousin's second wedding. She looked very happy, and she'd been with her husband for over ten year.It's all go! Packed my bag, and off to Nice now (work :-( sadly). That is, if the airline strike doesn't block me!
Christine, I love the dog-blogging with Dixie. LOL! Gundula, I have to add that I think a PhD in German is a very impressive degree, and I think that most people would consider it so. Be proud of your fantastic accomplishments. Of course, I know as well as anyone how family can push all the right, or wrong, buttons.
Lance, Wow, Nice! Enjoy, even if it is work. Not a bad place to work.
I had a great time at the wedding. It was quite a show, 10 bridesmaids and 10 groomsmen, the largest wedding party I'd ever seen. The ceremony was lovely, and the bride's dress was exquisite. The reception had a live band, scrumptious food, and an open bar (only wine and beer, but I was happy, maybe too happy, ha ha). My friend and I even got out and danced, as it was more of a big group dancing and not couples. Good times, good times!
I'm glad that you had a great time, Kathy! Wow, 10 each in the wedding party? That's huge!
My wedding was fun too. Very low key, but it was a beautiful day and the restaurant was near the sea and the light was beautiful.
Only problem was we missed the wedding itself. We started out a little later than we had planned and there were two huge accidents along the way. We arrived just in time for the rice throwing!
Will catch up with the posts later today. I have to go out and about this morning. Have a great day everyone.
Only problem was we missed the wedding itself. We started out a little later than we had planned and there were two huge accidents along the way. We arrived just in time for the rice throwing!
Will catch up with the posts later today. I have to go out and about this morning. Have a great day everyone.
The rice throwing is the best part anyway. :)
Good morning to everyone! I read a chunk of my book last night (awesome!)
and watched the Blackhawks game (hockey playoffs...I'm not a hockey fan, but Chicago is going wacko at the moment, and I want to keep up). Today is busy busy busy.
Have a great start!
Good morning to everyone! I read a chunk of my book last night (awesome!)
and watched the Blackhawks game (hockey playoffs...I'm not a hockey fan, but Chicago is going wacko at the moment, and I want to keep up). Today is busy busy busy.Have a great start!
Hello from Germany! Cheap airlines tried to starve us, but Oma had lots of food ready, including tiramisu, waiting for us! She took the kid jeans shopping today -- better selection for skinny girls!
Have a great week everyone! My husband is at a car dealer with his dad right now, so I snuck in a few quick looks at GR!
Have a great week everyone! My husband is at a car dealer with his dad right now, so I snuck in a few quick looks at GR!
Hi Jeannette!!!!! Glad to know that even if they starved you, you got there safely. I miss you already!
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Comfort Reads
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Well, too often I'm caught off guard and, like Gundula, I don't think of what to say until after the conversation. Only occasionally do I actually manage to practice what I preach in dealing with rude people. I do better than when I was younger, but there's still that old not wanting to appear confrontational thing that can make me hold back.