[F2F Book Discussions] May 2015: Aristotle & Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz | Moderator: Maria

[Angus]

Discussion Question 3
(view spoiler)[
I had a very difficult time with my biological father. I haven't seen him in many years. Probably 7 or 8 years? Isn't it strange that I don't even know? Looks like I don't love him. I don't hate him either though. I'd rather not invest any feelings for him because some good man took his responsibility and accepted us as his children.

So let me just make this official now. From now on, when we talk of fathers, I'll refer to my stepfather.
(hide spoiler)]

Discussion Question 4
(view spoiler)[
The thing we need to understand in the people that we love is that we can never fully understand them. Do we even know why and how come we love the people that we love? There is no single answer to these, and pinning down the answers will lead to more questions. Anyway, I agree with Ari's mom.
(hide spoiler)]

[Maria Ella]

Discussion questions are heavy waits lemme ask my parents. Charot. I think I'll pass? Or I might answer after I take my long shower (view spoiler)[you think at best when you are in a shower, really (hide spoiler)]

[Tina]

Discussion Question 3
(view spoiler)[I've always considered myself a daddy's girl, since I'm the youngest and only daughter. I've always looked up to my dad, in terms of career and love and family - he's quiet, funny, and hardworking, and super patient. Every time he's home, I always feel like a princess because he always picks me up from work. :) He's also my anchor, and whenever he gives advice especially in my career, I knew immediately that it was the right thing to do - after all, he has been in the corporate world for more than 30 years. So yeah, I didn't have a difficult relationship with my dad - despite us not being such a talky family (seriously :P) - and he's really the number one guy in my life. :) (hide spoiler)]

Discussion question 4

(view spoiler)[I agree with Ari's mom. There's this musical I watched years ago called I Love You Because and it's all about how love is not about the "despite of" but about the "because." You love the person not despite their flaws but because of them, even if these are things that you don't understand. I'm going to go back to something that I believed about love - that it's a decision. Sometimes we don't understand the people we decide to love, but that's why it's a decision to love them. Even if sometimes we don't really understand what's going on in their heads, love is about sticking with the person we decide to love. :) (hide spoiler)]

[Maria]

Don't get stressed out with the activities, you guys :) it's supposed to be fun! I am more "young" than "adult" this month, so bear with the unpredictability ;)

[Maria Ella]

Discussion Question 3
(view spoiler)[
Me and my dad are chill-pogi people. My dad and I are not showy of our affections. The way we do bonding was more of "intellectual pursuit", like plans as a yuppie, being #YOLO, and studies (he was ALL SMILES when I said that I was planning to jumpstart graduate school and became an officer of the student org). Maybe because both of us are ENTP (Myerr-Briggs personality types, we do debates / trolling as a symbol of our affections. He doesn't kiss or hug me much, maybe he believes in being an "alpha male". They don't do hugs (view spoiler)[like hugs are for gays and all that (hide spoiler)]

(view spoiler)[He's a funny guy too, not all serious tho. He was concerned on my solo bagpacking in Boracay last Holy week, after knowing that I went to Pub Crawl by myself -
(hide spoiler)]
(hide spoiler)]

Discussion Question 4
(view spoiler)[
Part of the compromise when it comes to loving people is to leave a bit of mystery to themselves. You don't enjoy the perks of loving a person if you know everything about him/her. That's why I kind of agree with Ari's mom. What matters is you need to understand yourself more before you decide to love the person. Maybe in terms of familial(?) love, you just love without inhibitions, but when in terms of loving a lover, you don't have to know ALL before you love - you just do. (view spoiler)[WAIT LANG KINILIG AKO HAHAHAH (hide spoiler)]

Anyways, what are we talking about again?
Kind of agree? Yeah, like 90%-10%. The 10% is your natural curiosity to ask them or yourself about the rationale of the beloved's behavior... bakit ganyan sya? bakit ganito, bakit ganoon? These things are natural. But there will come a decision point that you just love the person just because you do. And that is one awesome part of love.
(hide spoiler)]

(view spoiler)[I wanna know Ingga's sentiments, and Alexa's, and Aaron's, and those youngsters in the book club... sila kasi yung mga bata satin, iba na ang pag-iisip ng mga tao kapag lampas 25 na eh. Sila kaya? (hide spoiler)]

[Ingrid]

^(view spoiler)[I leave that to Alexa and Aaron, hwehehe, hihihi (hide spoiler)]

[Louize]

Hahaha, sorry now ko lang ito nakita. Bawal daw mag-online kapag mother/daughter date e. I know the bonus activity was closed, but anyways my choices are:

1. Alexa and Aaron's Amazingly Awkward Attempts at Adulthood

2. Elaine and Mawi's Extraordinary Adventures in Date Hunting

(view spoiler)[And thank you for loving 'em thunders! (hide spoiler)]

[Gwaxa]

Discussion Question 3

(view spoiler)[

I was a papa's girl when I was young. He was my favorite parent because he used to play with me and my sister. I also used to tell him a lot about my school work and I felt really proud whenever he praised me about my good grades. He was strict but my mother was stricter so I was closer to him.

Then I became a teenager and felt like the world didn't understand me especially my parents. My father became stricter than my mother and it felt like he wasn't on my side anymore. I resented him whenever he scolded me about my grades, boys and other slights that I thought were no big deal. Obviously, I had a lot of anger back then.

Anyway, after that phase, I started to stop seeing my parents as the main antagonists of my life. Nowadays, I'm close to my mother but not my father. This is because I feel like I can talk to my mother about my feelings and stuff unlike with my father. My relationship with my father is not complicated, it's just undemonstrative.
(hide spoiler)]

Discussion Question 4

(view spoiler)[

I agree with Ari's mom. I think you don't need to fully understand someone to fully love them. After all, it is truly not possible to fully understand someone so all you can do is love them, warts and all.
(hide spoiler)]

[Louize]

Discussion Question 3

(view spoiler)[
There is an eight (8) years difference between me and my sister, so, for a long time I had the pleasure of being a father’s girl. My father and I were pretty much close. He would often bring me to work, show me around to his co-workers, and buy me new clothes when I crap. Yes, he would literally throw my dirty clothes (as per my mom). He taught me how to swim since I was 4 months old. He made sure I know how to play basketball, volleyball, and defend myself physically, because I have brothers (you know).

We pretty much talk anything under the sun, but we don’t usually see eye to eye when it comes to independence. He’s old school; he believed that girls don’t need to be independent. He accepted women having careers, but he stood by for as long as possible girls are their parents and brothers’ cargo.
(hide spoiler)]

Discussion Question 4

(view spoiler)[
If only we could figure out everything in this world, there’d be less heartache. Deciding to love a person means not only accepting the flaws, but also accepting the things we may never understand. And there’d be plenty.
(hide spoiler)]

[Tin]

Discussion Question 3:(view spoiler)[ Having been born a little late, to borrow the words from Ari's sisters, I was my dad's favorite. With that said, I got away with almost anything when he was around. Haha. When it comes to showing affection, he wasn't the type who gives kisses, rather he asks for them. He was the kissee for the most part. And we also didn't talk about feelings or personal lives, I really don't know why. Nakaka-dyahe, I guess. My dad was the spoiler though, if he could give us the moon he would. I have so many regrets when it comes to my dad. I wish I had gotten to know him more. I wish I showed how much I love him more. I wish I spent time with him more. I didn't realize how much he figured in my life, until he was gone, and then I started breaking down bit by bit. Gah, I miss him. (hide spoiler)]

Discussion Question 4:(view spoiler)[ I used to think that to love someone is to understand them. Because I mean how could you stand to be with them if you find them to be absurb? But as I get older and wiser (char), the more impossible this becomes. I mean, I myself, can never truly project my complete being. How can I bare my thoughts and my emotions fully? It can't be done. So the other person can only perceive a part of you. Not the whole you. And vice versa. So yeah, you can never truly know a person no matter how close you are, and still we love right? IN SHORT, I agree with Ari's mom. Haha. Sareh, naging philosophical discourse. XD (hide spoiler)]

[Maria]

posting as early as now since this is a 3-part activity

Activity 3
Open to Aristotle & Dante Teams

Part 1
Maria recommends...
(view spoiler)[
Aaron - The Catastrophic History of You and Me
Alexa - Daughter of Smoke & Bone

Gwaxa - The Knife of Never Letting Go
Meliza - Angelfall

Ingrid - Paper Towns
Maria Ella - Cinder

Mawi - Artemis Fowl
Elaine - Ender's Game

Angus - Thirteen Reasons Why
Monique - Legend

Kristel - Dash & Lily's Book of Dares
Ranee - Unwind

Ronnie - Stargirl
Louize - Ready Player One

Tin - Eleanor & Park
Tina - Please Ignore Vera Dietz

These recommendations came from our Bonus Activity # 1 (view spoiler)[Lurker's recommendations (hide spoiler)]. I recommend them as well.

*Posting this as early as now to give you guys time to search for copies. If you can't find one, post in this thread for help.

*Teams who completes this activity before Wednesday, 11pm automatically gets 10 points.

*To get the points, both Ari & Dante must finish and review the books (view spoiler)[post your review linkys here (hide spoiler)] before Wednesday, 11pm, regardless if they don't post na magkasunod.

*Part 2 mechanics will be posted on Thursday.

Questions? =)

Happy reading!
(hide spoiler)]

[Ingrid]

Maria: Purgado sa YA this month, hahaha
Buti nalang may copy ako :)))

[Maria]

^Hehe, nakaka-dalawa na ko this month. Ikaw, pangatlo na ito, if ever?

[Ingrid]

Maria wrote: "^Hehe, nakaka-dalawa na ko this month. Ikaw, pangatlo na ito, if ever?"

Pangatlo na, buti nalang di ko pa nastart yung Summer trilogy ni Jenny Han kundi umaaay :))

[Monique]

Sis, perhaps you could give me another book to read? I've already read The Queen of Attolia (3 stars). :)

[Tina]

It seems like I will not finish Mysterious Benedict Society until after this discussion. (but thank you for the reco! Haha my copy came from you, too, Maria!)

[Maria]

Monique wrote: "Sis, perhaps you could give me another book to read? I've already read The Queen of Attolia (3 stars). :)"

^list updated! (view spoiler)[I browsed the book, I did not see there that you've read it na. :) Thanks for checking! (hide spoiler)]

[Maria]

Tina wrote: "It seems like I will not finish Mysterious Benedict Society until after this discussion. (but thank you for the reco! Haha my copy came from you, too, Maria!)"

My apologies! I hope you won't get disappointed with my reco :) time to bump A.S. King up in your TBR, then. hihi

[Maria Ella]

(view spoiler)[BAKIT PO BAKIT BAKIT BAKIT BAKIT HUHUHUHUHU BAKIT ITO PA ANG RECOMMENDATIONS PARANG IAALAY NYO AKO SA MGA ALIENS EH MABABALIW NAKO

Hindi ko genre ang scifi at fantasy at YA masisiraan ata ako ng bait hahahahahuhu. Susubukan ko ito Ingga. Bahala na sa rating or baka maitapos ko naman or baka magustuhan ko ewan ko iiyak muna ako. Babaha muna ng luha. (hide spoiler)]

[Ranee]

Sinong mabait ang magpapahiram ng Unwind nila?

[Aaron Vincent]

The Catastrophic History of You and Me. I need copy. It looks and sounds silly but I'll give it a shot. Hoping it isn't a catastrophy of a book.

[Mawi]

Maria, I've already read The Perks of Being a Wallflower, gave it 4 stars. Should I just do a review or another reco? :)

[Tina]

Aaron Vincent wrote: "The Catastrophic History of You and Me. I need copy. It looks and sounds silly but I'll give it a shot. Hoping it isn't a catastrophy of a book."

Check your email! :)

[Alexa]

Aaron Vincent wrote: "The Catastrophic History of You and Me. I need copy. It looks and sounds silly but I'll give it a shot. Hoping it isn't a catastrophy of a book."

Grabe ka, judging a book by its title. Tsk.

[Kristel]

Doc Ranee: Scribd yung ginamit kong ebook for Unwind but I have the audiobook. Do you want it?

[Maria]

^Ella: hahaha Easy to read, this one. I believe my audiobook c Ronnie...? Cinderella retelling ito, but with the fantasy twist. Try mo muna, (view spoiler)[bago bumaha ang luha (hide spoiler)].

^Ranee: kakatapos lang ni Kristel nito...?

^Aaron: reading your "looks and sounds silly", can't help but laugh out loud. (view spoiler)[thanks for making me smile today ;) (hide spoiler)] Give it a shot nga!

[Maria]

Mawi wrote: "Maria, I've already read The Perks of Being a Wallflower, gave it 4 stars. Should I just do a review or another reco? :)"

^list updated!

[Monique]

Anyone who can share their epub or mobi copy of Legend to me? :D

[Alexa]

@Monique I can email it to you! :)

[Monique]

Blue wrote: "@Monique I can email it to you! :)"

Yay thanks! Mwah! :)

[Monique]

Oh shoot! The Thief pala yung nabasa ko, not The Queen of Attolia. Got confused with the titles/subtitles. Hehe. Should I proceed with Legend (view spoiler)[I have a copy na, thanks Alexa! (hide spoiler)] or The Queen of Attolia pa rin as originally recommended?

[Maria]

^sis: (view spoiler)[Senior moment? Haha. saw you currently reading Legend na, ituloy mo na?I recommend Queen of Attolia more, sis. :) (hide spoiler)]

[Monique]

Hmm okay. The Queen of Attolia then. (view spoiler)[I had the Attolia books before but gave them all away (view spoiler)[to Lynai (hide spoiler)] when I only "liked" The Thief, hehe. (hide spoiler)]

Anyone with the epub/mobi of The Queen of Attolia? (view spoiler)[I would appreciate it so much! Email is monique1125@gmail.com Many many thanks! (hide spoiler)]

[Alexa]

@Monique: Emailed you again :))

[Ranee]

I was hoping to borrow a hardcopy of Unwind. Here in Manila btw.
Will text you Kristel.

[Monique]

Blue wrote: "@Monique: Emailed you again :))"

You're a lifesaver. Thank you. <3

[Elaine]

Maria wrote: "Teams who completes this activity before Wednesday, 11pm automatically gets 10 points.
"

I just want to clarify, does that mean if we finish today, we can already post our review? No need to wait for your go signal? :)

[Maria]

^That's a yes, Elaine. :)

[Elaine]

Maria wrote: "^That's a yes, Elaine. :)"

Okay!! Thanks.

Night owl mode: on. :)

[Veronica]

Only Maria can make me read 3 YA books in less than a month. :D

Review of Stargirl here.

[Meliza]

Discussion Question 3
(view spoiler)[My relationship with my father is not hard. It's just that I talk about personal stuff with my mother more than with him. Most of the time, he is serious and quiet. (Nag-jojoke at nagssmile din naman minsan. Hehe!) When we talk, it's usually about work, school (when I was still studying), church, trivia and history. When I was still in school, sometimes, he won't allow me to go out with friends, not until I solve some math/physics problems he wrote on our blackboard. He also told us to make studying a hobby. LOL (hide spoiler)]

Discussion Question 4
(view spoiler)[I agree with Ari's mom. Sometimes you just love a person even if you don't understand him. You won't even understand why you love him, you just do. Maybe it's a greater kind of love? Loving a person for just what he is, despite the flaws, those aspects of him you don't understand. (hide spoiler)]

[Alexa]

Woops, forgot to post the linky here, haha. Here ya go

[Maria Ella]

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY I SURVIVED READING THE BOOK LIKE OMG YOU GOTTA SEE THIS REVIEW AND LIKE THIS!!!!

[Miss_irene]

i really like the innocence of the boys in the story. just like adolescence, all they could describe were their actions and feelings, but not exactly identify word for word what made them do those actions. like as if they acted the way they acted and seemed shallow and un explainable but these actions actually are like tips of the icebergs of emotions that began stirring in their self identities. and later on seemed manifestations of their deeper emotional ties to each other.

[Alexa]

Discussion Question 3
(view spoiler)[It's not often easy, because while I'm pretty affectionate, I don't talk about personal stuff like feelings, and neither does my dad. (view spoiler)[He emotes way less than my mom, who does enough emoting for both of them (hide spoiler)] We bond through the things we both like, but doing our own thing in silence is also completely fine. I can go for days without talking to him, but that doesn't mean we don't get along, because like Ari and his dad, we're not big on small talk. When it comes to the things that really matter, though, we talk about it. (view spoiler)[Fun fact: He was the first person I called after I finished my final college requirement. (hide spoiler)] (hide spoiler)]

Discussion Question 4
(view spoiler)[I agree with Ari's mom. I mean, I doubt my parents can really understand me, but I know they love me anyway. There's always that effort to understand someone you love, but I don't think you have to have that complete understanding for those feelings to qualify as love. (hide spoiler)]

[Ingrid]

Finished reading Paper Towns as recommended by Maria.

Yaaaay!
Apir, Ella! :)))

[Tin]

Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell Book Review HERE

[Eve]

Discussion Question 3

(view spoiler)[I had a rocky relationship with my father when I was younger (I'm not even gonna get into all that teen angst!) but, thankfully, it got a whole lot better the more I understood him. Now it feels natural again to just give him a hug and a kiss like I never stopped being "Daddy's little girl." (hide spoiler)]

Discussion Question 4

(view spoiler)[Since everyone seems to agree with Ari's mom, here's a follow-up question: Do you love a person more once you understood them? Or less, kinda like how Quentin was more in love with the idea of Margo in Paper Towns? (hide spoiler)]

[Kristel]

I finished reading Dash and Lily's Book of Dares and made a review.

[Kristel]

Discussion Question 3

(view spoiler)[My father and I were very close when I was a young kid (panganay, biba, hindi takot sa matanda). But our relationship fractured when I was in my early teens up to my early twenties. I still have a lot of unresolved conflict with him, but the nature of my relationship with him changed when he had a mild stroke a few years ago. (hide spoiler)]

Discussion Question 4

(view spoiler)[I think that there's some people whom you love because you can't help it, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to be with them and open up your vulnerabilities to them, and accept them as they are, does that make sense? I do think that you have to understand people to make peace with your feelings for them, so I think I side a little bit with Ari on this one. (hide spoiler)]