I hate attention whores

[shellyindallas]

I'm unemployed (hold your applause please) and have been getting bummed about not finding a job (congrats King by the way) so I decided a few weeks ago that maybe a little exercise would keep my spirits up. Austin is a great town for trails and parks and all things outdoors, so I've been going to this park nearby everyday fairly early in the day. Well, yesterday I hate a bunch of stupid shit to take care of so I couldn't get there until 6 pm. Holy Cow: It took me 5 minutes just to find a parking spot! People sure love to be seen when they walk/jog/run.

Anyway, so it was crowded and people were checking each other out--whatever, no big deal. Then all of the sudden here comes this jackass on one of those old-timey bicycles with the one giant wheel in the front and the one tiny wheel in the back. WTF? This is, like, a dirt and gravel trail. What reason, other than "hey! look at me! i'm different. i have a funny old bicycle! over here! over here! you can't miss me!" would that dude possibly have for choosing that trail at that time of the day to ride his ridiculous bicycle?

[[deleted user]]

You probably wouldn't like it when I wear my chaps to the park without pants underneath. Plus, I'm riding an old timey bicycle with five extra large wheels. Plus, I'm wearing a scale replica of Colonial Williamsburg on my head. Plus, I'm singing "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt" in my loudest, most Michael Boltonish voice.

Don't judge me. Just look at me. Please.

[shellyindallas]

you're too funny for this little website David.

and you're wrong. the bicycle on it's own is just "hey! look at me", whereas everything you mentioned above is "hey! look at me! I'M OUT OF MY GOD DAMNED MIND!"--that I would love.

[[deleted user]]

The unemployment rate seems relatively high on Goodreads... Maybe I can offer you a job doing my job while I waste time online? I'd be willing to pay you in kind words, terms of endearments, and Taco Bell hot sauce packets.