Fantasy Romance. Girl breaks out of a simulation to find she was part of a rebellion in a dystopian society and her asthma inhaler was actually drugs that she became addicted to. Read around 2006-2008. Spoilers.

[Ashlyn]

Looking for a book I read circa 2006-2008, bought from a dollar general in Florida and I think it had an anime couple on the front or something. Paperback.

Girl has memories of her whole life, but can’t remember specific details, mentions vacations with her parents but never can remember anything other than she had vacations. Somehow she wakes up in a little pod in a dystopian society on the brink of war and a man recognizes her as his lost lover and says she’s been locked in a simulation and she had been part of a rebellion against the corrupt government. The girl has asthma but her lost lover freaks out on her and won’t let her use her inhaler because he tells her it’s actually a drug that she’s now addicted to and I think he breaks the inhaler. She struggles with the addiction to her inhaler throughout the novel and has several “asthma attacks” that he helps her through. They prepare for war and I remember in the spicy scene, there was a quote as he had her pinned against a wall “tomorrow I go to war with the lion, but tonight I want to be loved by the lamb” or something (I could have mistaken this from twilight because it was big at the time also).

The girl ends up back in the simulation but realizes that everyone that is part of the simulation has a small moon tattoo on them and somehow breaks out again, maybe to free everyone else stuck in it? I distinctly remember that she goes to a club she frequented in the simulation and noticed the bouncer had a crescent moon tattoo on his hand, and then realize so did her best friend. After she breaks out again, she and her lover and their squad go to war and there was something about a totem pole on a destroyed battlefield? Maybe in the shape of a bear?

I’ve been looking for this book for YEARS and can’t find a trace of it online or anywhere. I’d love to find a copy and read it again to see if it’s as good as 10 year old me thought it was, or if I was just enamored with the intimate scene.

[Becca]

I think this has to be Moongazer by Marianne Mancusi

There's a copy on archive.org and all the details match, including the lion / lamb quote:

"Make love to me, Dawn," I say, unable to hold back. After all, this may be our only chance. Our last night to admit and express the feelings that have grown between us. Tomorrow I go into the lion's den. Tonight I want to be loved by the lamb.

https://archive.org/details/moongazer...

[Kris]

Google Books has a limited preview of Moongazer (also called: "Alternity") by Marianne Mancusi - Becca's suggestion. You might get lucky search for keywords:

- https://www.google.com/books/edition/...
- There are different cover images.

Quotes from the book:

- My lungs constricted. Great. All this drama was inducing my asthma. I started to reach for my inhaler, then changed my mind and started my exercises.
Breathe in. Hold it. One, two, three. Breathe out.
- "Look at you," Dawn says, his voice cold. "You're so addicted you can't even breathe without the 'Gazer ..."
- From this angle I noticed a small moon-shaped tattoo just below her neck. For some reason it reminded me of my crazy dreams.