Dime Novel with a Knight and an Ugly Centaur on an adventure. Read around 2007-2009. Spoilers.

[Haley]

I remember this novel was actually a dime store romance I had borrowed from my grandmother sometime around 2007-09.
I believe it was published sometime around the 80s by a male author due to the appearance of the novel and the half remembered yet unforgettable misogyny it's pages held.

Spoilers Ahead

I remember it had a map in the first few pages of the land the story took place in, and thought it was a fantasy world it looked exactly like Florida. We open with our main outside picking some new shoes off a vine, he laments about his wife turning very ugly yet increasingly smart and very beautiful yet increasingly stupid on a sliding scale throughout the months. He's friends with a centaur who's ugly I'm the face yet has a beautiful rump, he gets invited to a party at a castle and has to solve a dangerous puzzle there, gets sent on a quest, and fights some type of ourobourus dragon.

[Sue]

The Source of Magic by Piers Anthony. It's the second in the Xanth series. He meets his now wife in the first book A Spell for Chameleon. During each month, she changes on a sliding scale from beautiful and dumb to smart and ugly.https://www.fantasticfiction.com/a/pi...