Part II Thoughts (Spoilers)

[Steph]

Please feel free to share your thoughts about this section as well.

-Here, we finally learn about Jude's backstory. It was emotionally taxing to process all that he went through in his childhood.
-I became nervous on Harold's chapter that he was going to reveal an inappropriate attraction to Jude and I'm so relieved that wasn't the case.
-OMG the adoption!! I definitely shed some tears on that part.
-Jude's self-harm is written in a way that I find to be a painfully accurate portrayal of the inner monologue that can accompany abuse survivors.
-I'm still really worried about Jude's future and I hope that nothing else devastating happens with him.
-His friendship with both Willem and Andy warm my heart. I'm an absolute sucker for the found family trope.

[Jabella]

Yes, I was so worried about Harold’s chapter at the beginning but I’m so happy it ended up being such a happy moment for everybody. I cried as well. I am still worried about Jude as well. I don’t want him to self-sabotage and it lead to something heartbreaking. I was mad with JB about the painting even though l expected it from him. 😒 But I’m glad they sorted it out and I’m ready to see what happens next.

[Steph]

Yes, JB is infuriating for me!

[Monica]

These were the things that called out to me in Part II:

Jude, of Harold:
"Could you have a real friendship if some part of you was always expecting betrayal?"

This broke my heart for Jude, because what damage must an authority figure/friend have done in his past for him to doubt Harold? It's further highlighted in the incident in the library, where Jude is so overly apologetic for something that Harold has already forgiven him for.

I love Harold's response to Jude:
"... I might say that this whole incident is a metaphor for life in general. Things get broken and sometimes they get repaired. And in most cases, you realize that no matter what gets damaged, life rearranges itself to compensate for your loss, sometimes wonderfully."

It contrasts Harold's view of life with Jude's, that it can be terrible and tragic one moment, but the future can still hold wonderful and beautiful things. Harold has hope that things will get better. Jude looks at life and all of the wonderful people he has in his own life, and he's waiting for the other shoe to drop; Jude thinks life will give him more of the same awful instead of something better.


As for JB ... agreed, the whole thing is infuriating. At best, JB's representation of Jude and his inclusion of Jude's portrait in his show is him saying that Jude, in all his pain and vulnerability, is beautiful. (This is something I've wrestled with myself. Both of my siblings are artists and a some of their pain is shared trauma, so when it shows up in their work, I feel ambivalent about it.) But at worst - JB's blatant disregard for Jude's boundaries, his conscious choice to circumvent Jude's consent, and the audacity to expect him afterward to be okay with it?? No. It's selfish, and good on Jude/Willem for not blowing past it and holding him accountable for his mistake. Ugggh.


When JB does eventually give the painting to Jude, with an apology after Willem's incessant prompting, Jude thinks:
"... for the first time, he [Jude] was able to comprehend that the people he had grown to trust might someday betray him anyway, and that, as disappointing as it may be, it was inevitable as well, and that life would keep propelling him steadily forward. Because for everyone that might fail him in some way, there was at least one person who never would."

At first it gave me hope - he has someone he absolutely trusts! ... and then it made me worry. If Willem is the one person who would never fail Jude, what happens if Willem has to leave? What happens if Willem isn't always impeccable with his loyalty? If Jude can't be that person for himself, and if Jude ever loses that external lifeline, what happens?