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Vent (pls pls pls comment)
message 151:
by
Savannah
(new)
Sep 08, 2024 06:28PM
@lexi it’s people like you that make me second guess my decision <3
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@savannah I tried adding you many times but it's not working. I remember 7th grade, a kid took his life. I never knew him but he went to my elementary school. but everyone that knew him was heartbroken and devastated. I bet there are people that care about you and would love to talk to you. at school you could talk to a teacher that you like maybe and they can listen or any of us on here will be an extra set of ears for you. I've been in those dark moments, the endless sinking sand but it truly does get better. it may take a few months, a year, but it will get brighter for you.
savannah, that really means a lot, thank you.
i have stopped myself for commenting bc ik sometimes hearing other ppl try to stop u from making ur choice can do nothing but make you want to make it more, bc everything everyone is saying just feels like lies. bc when ur at ur lowest, it doesn't feel like anyone would actually care, and are just saying that to prevent you.
that's what i think when i read all of these comments telling u that it gets better and to call 988 or tell a trusted adult or just someone you trust.
i can't and won't tell you any of that. all i can do is tell you that i do want you here. and i want you to know that. i want you to know that i hope you're here when i wake up tomorrow. all i can do is tell you that my heart will shatter if i wake up and you are not, knowing that if maybe i said smth different you'd still be here.
in the end, i cannot change whatever decision you make. but hope to make a small impact on it and let you know that i want you here, and that you deserve a place in this world.
i know your worth, everyone else in this chat knows your worth, the God who made you knows. the only question is do you? no matter what anyone else says or does, do you know that you are worth it to live?
i love you girl, keep ur chin up and keep fighting❤️
is it okay if i ask a few questions about you? do not feel pressured to answer bc you totally don't have to. i just want to know some things about you so that no matter what decision you make i can say i knew you and that you are a lovely person.what are some of your hobbies?
do you play any sports?
do you like ice cream? if so what flavor
can you braid hair? (i cannot braid AT ALL and i am 15 year old female and suck at it sm)
@lexi thank you so much for being one of the only people who actually understand, you’re a blessing <3
sav, you're so welcome. that warms my heart, and i might cry. i almost did not comment on here today, but decided to, and i am glad i did <3
@ella when u try to friend you too it doesn’t work :(
savanna,
‘there’s light at the end of every tunnel’
don’t just wait for the light to appear. make your own light. did you know that with enough pressure, carbon turns into diamonds? you’re that diamond. you’re just going through the hard part, but when you celebrate the good it’ll all be worth it to stay.
but seriously, please don’t do it. i’ve been there ik it’s hard but please, it’s not worth it. try to keep your chin high girlie. your heart is like 28382929 karat gold, it’s priceless. ml you’re so young and it’s hard but please. there’s so much to live for. you’ll find people who make you happy just please. don’t call a hotline unless you want to, but i’d recommend trying to find interesting things to do in your life. i’ve been there trust me but finding interesting things like hobbies or stuff is just lifechanging. it brings little bundles of joy into your life.
do you want to pm? i can try my best to support you i swear, ofc it’s fine if you don’t feel comfortable bc we don’t know eachother, but if you want to, msg me <3
i’m here for you.
‘there’s light at the end of every tunnel’
don’t just wait for the light to appear. make your own light. did you know that with enough pressure, carbon turns into diamonds? you’re that diamond. you’re just going through the hard part, but when you celebrate the good it’ll all be worth it to stay.
but seriously, please don’t do it. i’ve been there ik it’s hard but please, it’s not worth it. try to keep your chin high girlie. your heart is like 28382929 karat gold, it’s priceless. ml you’re so young and it’s hard but please. there’s so much to live for. you’ll find people who make you happy just please. don’t call a hotline unless you want to, but i’d recommend trying to find interesting things to do in your life. i’ve been there trust me but finding interesting things like hobbies or stuff is just lifechanging. it brings little bundles of joy into your life.
do you want to pm? i can try my best to support you i swear, ofc it’s fine if you don’t feel comfortable bc we don’t know eachother, but if you want to, msg me <3
i’m here for you.
Savannah wrote: "@lexi it’s people like you that make me second guess my decision <3"Because we care about you! Even if we're from the other side of the world, we care💓
@aru it’s okay lol my family calls me savi.I just don’t think anyone would actually care, like anyone I know irl. I can’t think of one person. How am I supposed to love with my mom, and all the hate, and the body dysmorphia? How am I supposed to live with that?
Savannah wrote: "@aru it’s okay lol my family calls me savi.I just don’t think anyone would actually care, like anyone I know irl. I can’t think of one person. How am I supposed to love with my mom, and all the h..."
Me. I'll miss you. And your boyfriend will miss you. And your teachers, your friends, and your future self that is years away from now, all happy screaming at you to don't do that. You'll miss out on so many things... And I know you can't see that now, but you barely started to live. And just because your mom is your mom, doesn't mean you have to love her if she hurts you. And the body dysmorphia, the depression, and the ed, are solvable, trust me. People get out of that every day. Just because you don't know how to do it, doesn't mean it can't be done. You just have to trust people who studied to do that. When you think you can't do that anymore, that no one would miss you, it's just your depression lying to you
I lost my dad this way, and I’ve attempted before too. I get where you’re coming from, when you feel like no one can ever understand you or love you. Where you feel like a waste of air and like your drowning in depression. I.get.it.
I used to hate when people said it gets better because I thought it never would. But it did, it’s taking me some time, but I’m doing better than ever, it’s not an overnight change, it’s gonna take awhile. Try what I did, give it 6 months, actively work toward healing and fixing your mental health, surround yourself with good friends. Then after that 6 months look back on where you were.
Like I said I lost my dad this way, and I’ll never be the same, I urge you to find someone to listen and help you, the pain doesn’t go away if you die, it gets handed off to another person
I was a complete introvert, who had (still have) PTSD. Whenever that period of time is mentioned, i feel like kitting myself against a wall because the girl used to be is nothing to me right now. because she was extroverted and jolly, radiating happiness. But now, i feel like i am finally healing after 3 years, a change of surroundings, or smth like that is all it takes you to convince yourself that thus world, this life CAN get better, better than you can imagine.
sav, good morning pretty girl. how are you feeling today?
(im pretty sure u live in canada, im in the US, but it's 8:48 am for me, so it probably isn't morning for u rn)
@lexi it’s actually earlier for me haha it’s 7:52am
@lexi I don’t know how I am today. I just feel kinda empty yknow?
sav, oh dang. so we're an hour apart. not bad actually.
well good morning then <3
sav, ik how it feels to feel hollow like that. like nun can make you feel better, but at the same time you don't really feel anything at all?
@anna I have really really bad ptsd because of smth rlly bad that happened when I was four and I still have nightmares almost every night 😭
sav,at four years old?!?!? that monster deserves to die.
@lexi ikr. I didn’t even know what was happening it was scary. I was literally at a restaurant with my family.
also by any questions i ever ask, do not feel pressured to answer at all <33
And they didn't even realise when their child was missing? God, its outrageous and Lexi, i agree with you, that thing cant be a human, that vile monster deserves to die in excruciating pain.
@leci I didn’t know the man. He was just a random man.
Man, she is a survivor, and Sav, if you survived r@pe at a very young age, I think you can definitely survive this
hi Savannah! It's probably not my place to give advice, and I'm not trying to do it anyway, but I'm probably one of the oldest here, I'm turning 37 this year, and sounds like cliche but you're so so young, there so much in the world waiting for you. If you can look for help, and try to heal your past
Savannah, could you add me? I try to, but its allowing me to.
sav, wow, ml, you've been thru sm. ur such a strong girl. i hope you know you can dm me at any time to talk about ANYTHING.
literally im down to talk about the most random stuff, whether that be caffeine, or anything you feel like you can't tell other ppl.
i will never judge you, i won't lie to you and tell u to do things you don't want to. but i will be a good friend, and gossip and talk about anything. we are not very far apart in age. (you're 13 and i turned 15 a few days ago) so i can pretty much relate to any drama or problems.
and if im being honest? sometimes people just need a good friend to talk to. and id like it if i could be that friend for you <3
savanna You’re a really strong person, you’ve been through so much and you are still really young, I know it all feels hopeless right now and mabye you’re feeling a bit lonely but if you need to talk to anyone I’m here and I want you to stay here because I know that it gets so much better <3
@sav I know you were very young when that happened but did you ever tell anyone what happened ?
don’t do it! there’s so many people that care abt u. 🫶
@ella I haven’t told anyone other then one of my friends.
@grey I’ve been thinking about how I would do it and I’ve always thought I would just overdose myself because it’s the easiest and I’ve learned from my mistakes in the past, but the more I think about it maybe I would hang myself. I feel like if I were to do it I would just do it as soon as possible, in the middle of the night when no one’s awake so no one can stop me.
I don’t have very many coping mechanisms, I just cry a lot. Sometimes I like to write about what happened, that’s what inspired the novel I’m writing atm.
My only hobbies really are reading cheerleading and co torsion and writing.
@lexi don’t worry ml I’m still here <33
@lexi I’ll definitely message you if I need to talk <33
oioi meninas, peço ajuda de vcs se janleram esse livro medigam o nome não consigo lembrar de jeito nenhum a protagonista foi abusado e vendida por sua mãe tio foram feitos vídeos disso e quando descobriram ela foi encaminhada pra um programa de proteção a testemunhas pq era de menor, quando creseu ela virou uma hacker e apagou todos esses videos da internet, fazia o computador de pessoas que fossem baixar ou assistir esse vídeos parade funcionar, tem uma pequena empresa que presta serviços de tecnologia um dia é chamada pra consertar um sistema sem saber que é um teste e foje quando ver que foi fácil demais achar o erro, ela têm constantemente pesadelos com os abusos principalmente um em que ela foi fantasiada de branca de neve. na época lembro que li algumas vezes mais não me recordo do nome nem da capa, por favor me ajudem.
@anna v I’m sorry could u translate that 😭
@grey yes not long ago actually. I didn’t take enough pills and I ended up in the hospital.
@grey my faintly is still being super weird about it. I wish I had just taken more and this could be done with
sav, thank goodness. i checked every hour, and lowkey started to freak out and was really worried.
also, yes please if you ever want to talk to someone hmu
sav,i hate how ur family knew that you've attempted before and aren't worried about it or your health at all.
i wish there was a way for you to get out of that environment bc ik it probably isn't helping you
