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Agony Aunt
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Help please:- Mixed reviews and other such confusion
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From what I can see, this reviewer is saying that she liked the plot and characters but the writing wasn't up to the same quality.
Having looked the beginning of your book, I'm sorry, but I can see why the reviewer has said this. I'd probably say something similar if I was reviewing it.
As you say, grammar isn't your strong suit. I came across a few sentences which were ungrammatical in the short passage I read. This can be very off-putting and would be an insta-close for some.
You start the story with a dream. That is a thing that new writers love to do but experienced writers wouldn't touch with the proverbial barge-pole.
I could say more, but don't want to embarrass you. PM me if you'd like more of a critique.
What to do next? You could ask someone to edit or critique the full book, but I don't think that is necessarily what you need. My guess is that the same issues will crop up throughout the book. A detailed critique of the first few pages may be enough to help you spot problems that will crop up more than once.
I'd be happy to help with a critique of the first few pages, but I don't pull my punches.

Will I definitely don't mind punches and any help would be appreciated. Thanks. I'm afraid I can't find the private message link on your home page. I'm probably not being very bright I'm afraid.

We might have to do it the old fashioned way! Why not send me an email. If you send me say the first five pages or so as a word doc, I'll add some comments and zap it straight back.

We might have to do it the old fashioned way! Why not send me an email at will..."
I had this same issue a while back - go to the member page and right next to the 'follow author' button there's a small arrow >
Left click on the arrow for a drop down menu which includes the message option.
Hope this helps
John

We might have to do it the old fashioned way! Why not send me an ..."
Thanks John, that worked.


This is my first book and it was a bit of a solo project so I was expecting to find myself in the needs improvement category but I’ve no idea what the issue is in this case beyond the person liked the end and hated the beginning.
Where do you find people who are willing to give you a comprehensive opinion on your work? Reviews are great but usually don’t give you much to work with when it comes to fixing problems.
I tried my local writing group for a little bit but you were only allowed to read out about 3 pages of your work when given papal dispensation to do so. Not very useful if your book is 324 pages long and grammar isn’t your strong suit. On the other hand this group has been very nice. Joo and her almost supernatural ability to spot randomly migrating apostrophes has been particularly great.