feeling left out in trios.

[Elisa]

Hi i’m a 13 year old girl and i have two “friends” in total, i don’t think i even consider them my friends anymore.
I’m always left out, they just keep whispering to each other’s ears, hugging together and laughing while i just stand there not knowing what to do. Today while they were doing that i pretended to write something and one of them was like “omg what is your problem” and i was like “nothing?” and again she said to the other “omg haha she hates us” and the other goes “don’t worry i love youu haha” and they proceeded to hug and laugh.
The thing is that they’re my only choice because it’s either them or alone, i cannot wait till i finally change school next year.
This thing is bothering me so much and we’re even going on a school trip together next month for 3 whole days.
No one is probably gonna see this but at least i wrote it down somewhere, i couldn’t keep this in my mind anymore.

[Maia]

i’m going through something similar at the moment and the only thing keeping me going is that i’m moving schools next year so can drop them but for you i’d say maybe talk to them about what they’re doing or drop them because they aren’t worth it

[Gigi ༓☾✧]

I'm so sorry about your experience. I'll do my best to give you advice based on what I've also experienced, and I hope that my perspective can help you in some way.

Just a couple years ago, I was in a similar situation. I was almost 13 and I had met two friends through an online theater club. To make a long story short, they made me feel left out because they were texting each other while lying to me about it.

I didn't handle this well. I basically just left a meeting one day and ignored all their texts and emails until they stopped messaging me. But what I've learned from this is that dynamics between friends change. Friendship can be like a flower vase. Once it breaks into tiny shards, there is no use holding onto it, because it is no longer what it once was. If your choice is having fake friends or no friends, find a way to enjoy your own company. Start a new hobby, focus on your family, or find a safe way to engage with online friends through video games (I've met some incredible people that way!). My point is that you need to communicate how you're feeling left out and leave fake friends behind, because you deserve better.

Anyway, if you still need help, you can add and message me on here and I'll try to offer any advice I can. And good luck!

[bailey grace]

I’ve gone through this so many times. My problem was it all included this one girl who was insanely manipulative and had lighted everyone. She would push all of my friends away and only ever allow one person into our little group. She ended up realizing i was pushing her away because she was toxic and then started spreading rumors. I ended up making new friends and didn’t stick to trios, because in my opinion, they do not work.

In conclusion, i would probably cut them out and attempt to stay in with other circles or try to be semi friends with people considering you’re moving. I hope your new school will be better and be filled with better people!

[megan]

I would try either talking to them about it if you want to try save the friendship, because sometimes that can work. or if you just want to get away from them try talking to other people. it might be slow progress but if you start trying to make some better friends you'll have someone to go to. I hope things get better for you and my messages are always open if you ever want to talk x

[Elisa]

thank you all so much🩷 i didn’t think anyone would have seen this, i appreciate all of your advice🩷

[Svetlana]

Same girl, same. I had a similar experience, unfortunately most trios I've been in never worked out. there's always a duo in them. and it's really painful, but I'd call that my year of learning and I've grown so much from that experience. I'm glad you chose to move schools, great choice! Something that helped me to not let people treat me like that was watching thewizardliz on youtube, specifically her video on 'how to deal with bullies and haters'. hopefully this helps and it won't be long before they're gone!

[kenz]

I completely understand girl sadly I’ve had to go through this several times but they have been learning experiences and I have learned to stay away from those types of people.
I’m so sorry you have to deal with that.try talking to them about what they are doing and how it’s making you feel if they don’t understand I would recommend slowly putting distance between you guys
Love ya hope it all works out
We’re all here if you need anything 💛💕❤️‍🩹

[♥️ alli ♥️]

I’m currently in a trio at the moment , and whilst I do feel left out I have a feeling it is partly my fault . As a 10-13 ( age grouping ) year old , I would rather say I’m busier than most adults so I often don’t have time to contact my friends . Though I’m so sorry you guys are going through this .

[Zainab]

I'm so sorry you are going through something like this.
I'm in a similar situation, too, right now. I'm in a group of four, but I'm just so different from them that they don't really enjoy talking to me. At first, i was really mad and sad, but what i did is i still friends with them, but i don't talk much anymore and i just enjoyed reading my book or crocheting (I'm aloud to crochet in class :D) yeah just do your thing and if they want to talk then talk but if they ignore you then you just do the same.

[Elisa]

again, thank you💓I was thinking about telling the teacher to let us change places, without them knowing it was my idea, then i think i’ll be okay, it’s just 3 more months. I’m really sorry for all of your experiences, apparently good-hearted people often choose the wrong people to be friends with. Goodreads is such a safe space for me and there are a lot of kind people💓

[Jenna]

Eli wrote: "again, thank you💓I was thinking about telling the teacher to let us change places, without them knowing it was my idea, then i think i’ll be okay, it’s just 3 more months. I’m really sorry for all ..."

I read this and immediately knew i wanted to send you a friend request. I am the same age and have had very similar problems. i am so happy that you are switching schools and getting out of that situations. i hope everything works out for you there :)