I hate how my best friend always has a bad boyfriend and then comes to me for help

[[deleted user]]

I mean really. Come on. You think that after like 3 loser boyfrieds she would know better! And I never said I was an expert on guys!

[Reads with Scotch]

Did you try and tell that to her? Maybe you should just write on all the mirrors in her house

"You will hook up with a loser today"

But then she would probably come to you about being single too.

[Reads with Scotch]

Oh blah... I think you should take it the other way... egg her on! If she gets cut deep enough maybe she will catch a clue.

"So let me get this straight, if he is hooked on meth, has a rash, a drawer full of un-employment check stubs, and hasn't bathed in a month, then he is a loser? Oh what the hell he also has a Harley, I'm so gunna do him."

[[deleted user]]

Sarah, I'm being the best friend that I can be. Buying her Starbucks in the middle of the night and letting her cry on my shoulder.
And Nick, I am not going to do that.

But I'll get through it. And so will she. :)

[Tracy]

believe me, as someone who spent a good long time dating a jerk when everybody i knew disapproved; telling her you don't like him because of all the stuff that's wrong with him will only make her talk to you less. telling her you don't like him because of how he treats her will only make her defend him.

really, the best thing you can do is just be there for her when she needs to talk, and be really encouraging when she starts doubting the relationship or complaining about things that are obviously wrong (but she has to think she decided to break up with him on her own). maybe even introduce her to some really great guys if the opportunity should arrise. not obviously, mind you, but very, very subtly.

or, you can always just refuse to be around either of them while she's being an idiot. while you might not ever get her back as a friend, i guarantee losing you will eat at her conscience, and she might start thinking about what she's doing to her other relationships (assuming you aren't the only one who disapproves). but this is only to be used as a last resort, when you just utterly cannot sit by and watch your friend being used/abused/neglected/whatever any longer.

[Sarah]

Good advice you guys. Unless the boyfriend is physically abusive. Then some sort of intervention would be in order.

[[deleted user]]

Tracy, that is really good advice. Thanks.
But I do have good news. She broke up with him last night. She told me that it was just not working out and that things needed to change. So now, it's all good. But I have a feeling that it's 'just for now'. Even though she said she wasn't going to date for a while...

[Charissa]

some of us are slow learners. it's hard on those who have to watch us make the same mistakes over and over again. but, eventually, with luck and hard work... we get over our fatal flaws and buy a clue, alex.

I blame flouridated water.

[Daniel]

me too