Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb, 4 stars

[Holly R W]

The author brought her writing chops to this memoir. Before Gottlieb became a clinical psychologist, she had success as a script writer in Hollywood and as a journalist. She also finished medical school. This is her attempt to share what she has learned in her practice with patients. In addition, Gottlieb writes about her own experience as a patient in therapy. She writes with warmth, compassion and honesty. In so doing, the book is very relatable. Gottlieb takes the veil away from therapy and makes it accessible to her readers.

She likens the therapy process to people sharing their stories about what is troubling them. Through experience, Gottlieb has learned that the stories are often-times inaccurate and incomplete. As the therapy progresses, patients begin to discover/accept more encompassing explanations for what they are grappling with in their lives. The author features four patients that she has worked with as well as herself. She is clear that the therapist's job is to help patients better understand themselves - not to advise them.

These are some nuggets that resonate for me:

* You can have compassion for another person without forgiving him.

* When a person is seriously ill and dying, loved ones too, are not in the best shape. Communication/Connection becomes harder in a sea of haze and pain.

As you can see, the book touches upon some nitty-gritty issues. The author balances these with small touches of humor.

[Joanne]

Sounds very interesting. The second nugget is the hard one for me. I have always had a very hard time (for grievous offenses against my person) letting go-forgetting and forgiving have always been hard for me. However, through my own pain therapist I am learning that holding on to all the garbage is only more luggage you carry that weighs you down and contributes to your stress and in the end your pain.

[Holly R W]

Joanne, Gottlieb wrote that many people believe that they should forgive someone who has hurt them in order to achieve healing for themselves. She says that it is not necessary to forgive. Rather, if they can develop some compassion for that other person, then they themselves can feel better. I have found this to be true in my own life.