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Amphetia and Tyler
message 51:
by
Natalie
(new)
Mar 02, 2015 03:17PM
"I said, leave me alone!" Tyler shouts, whirling to face Cade. Her angry mask was falling, falling into the deep and dark sadness inside. "I told you! Every time we talked, when I didn't know it was you, I fucking told you what was happening to me!"
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Cade bit his lip and looked to the ground, she was right. He was absolutely inexcusable. "I never realised. I do now." Cade looked to Tyler, giving her his most sincere look. "Why don't we talk about it? I'm not letting you take your life tonight."
"Look, I made my decision a week ago. I decided before I even came here that no matter what you said, I wasn't going to change my mind. Okay? So fuck off." Tyler started to walk away again, tightening the ribbon on her wrist as she walked, tense and hurt.
Cade wasn't going to let it go that easily. "Yeah, no you're not," he told her. Cade rushed up behind her, taking her by her arm. He made sure not the grip the cuts, not wanting to cause pain. "I'm not fucking off anywhere, thanks." Cade let go of her arm and looked down at her. "Why don't you just talk to me? I get it, you'd probably rather take your life than talk to me but when was the last time you really let it all out? Just, just tell me your feelings."
((I'm getting my hair dyed, be back later))
(Alright, I'm midnight here so I'll have to reply in the morning.)
"I don't want to talk about it. Most certainly not to you." Tyler spat, rolling her eyes and taking another step back. She swallowed hard, clenching her fists.
Cade stepped towards her again. He was in no position to let her go. "Please? We can put things right. When we spoke, I thought you were the most amazing girl id ever met and I cared so much. I still do... Tyler please. You're better than this."
"No!" She shouted, whirling to face Cade again. This time, there were tears in her eyes. "If anyone's going to help me, which isn't going to happen, it won't be you."
Cade felt his heart clench. This was the girl he'd throbbed over for the past year. "I get it, I was an asshole. But you can't seriously let someone like me ruin your life. I'll stop texting you, I promise I'll never even look at you again just please, don't do this. If there's one thing I can say it's that tomorrow's a new day and you can do so much with your life."
"I can't do anything, not when I want to die. Which, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to do." Tyler swallowed hard, sniffling, trying to wipe her eyes dry.
"Nuh uh, no you're not." Cade was firm, he jumped jumped over a log, the only thing keeping them apart. Cade bit his lip and looked at the girl in front of him, who was obviously broken. He placed his hand on her shoulder and stepped closer again, slowly pulling her into an embrace. Of course, he expected to get shoved away, slapped - whatever. "Please just get help."
Tyler froze, then shoved Cade back, stumbling away. "Just fuck off, okay?! I made my decision. I made it a week ago! So just fuck off, and leave me alone!" Tyler turned and tried to sprint away, shaking.
Cade jolted back and raised his hands, letting her go without a fuss. "Okay." He told her, nodding and stepping back. "Okay," he muttered once more. Unsure of how to stop her, he let her run. "Tyler.." Was all he could say. He wasn't going to give up on her.
Tyler broke down the second she felt she was out of sight of Cade. She sunk to her knees, letting out gasping sobs. She ran her hands through her hair, tugging at the black strands, trying to tear herself apart. Tears streamed down her cheeks, her whole body shaking.
Cade looked around him, biting his lip. He found a local corner store and picked up a bag of candy. After making his purchase, he left the store and began to walk home. On his way, he heard a soft sobbing. It was familiar, like the sobbing he'd heard earlier. Tyler. It had to be. Cade turned the corner to see her broken down on the floor, he sighed and kneeled down beside her. "Here," he said softly, passing her the bag of candy.
"L-L-Leave me a-alone!" Tyler choked out in her broken voice, forcing the words through her violent sobs. She kept shaking, and kept tugging at her hair, scratching at her arms, wanting to tear herself apart, scratches on her arms.
"Calm down..." Cade told her softly, trying his best to calm down. "Please, I know this is hard but just listen to me." Cade looked to Tyler, taking her hands away from her hair. "Calm down." With a deep breath, Cade let go of Tyler, trying all he could to convince her.
"N-No!" Tyler shouted, letting her hands fall to the ground. She kept sobbing, still collapsed on the ground. Tyler was shaking, not looking up at Cade, not wanting too.
Cade decided it was best to say nothing. Instead, he sat by Tyler's side and looked down to her. He wasn't going to let her die. Not by her own accord. Cade pulled out a tissue from his pocket and passed it to her. His phone began to ring, it was Kris, his girlfriend. He ignored the call, focusing on Tyler.
Tyler took the tissue and clenched it in her hands, still sobbing. She slowly calmed down, arguing with herself in her head, not wanting to trust Cade but wanting the sweet boy who kept her alive for so long.
Cade stayed sat by Tyler for the 20 minutes it took for her to slowly calm down. He looked to her with a gentle smile and let it dissolve and he realised again why she had been crying. "I'm really sorry," he told her one more time.
Tyler shook her head, still looking broken. She didn't quite believe that Cade was sorry. She glanced over at him, and at his phone. It was blowing up with texts from Kris, which made Tyler want to gag. She absolutely hated Kris- the cheerleader had once been her friend, but ditched her the second she found out about Tyler's self harm.
Cade's phone was buzzing, but he had no intention of answering. He wasn't in the mood for his girlfriend, not now. The silence was overwhelming, and Cade couldn't take it anymore. "So, that puppy you wanted to get..."
Tyler scoffed at the words. "What about it?" She responded bitterly, slowly lifting her head and crossing her arms, her broken stature once again hidden by sarcasm.
"Why don't we go have a look?" Cade suggested. He and Tyler had often spoken about going to look a puppies for her, but he had never known it was Tyler, and she had never known it was him. They'd spoken non-stop the entire year.
Tyler rolls her eyes, then pauses when she realizes that Cade is serious. "What, really?" She asks in an incredulous voice, looking like she didn't believe it, pushing hair out of her face.
"Yes, really. I'm not having you go home just yet. Not like this." Cade stood from the floor and offered his hand to her. "Besides, was it not the first of many promises I made?"
Tyler stood up on her own, ignoring his hand. "You also promised you weren't a jerk, like the people I had to deal with at school." She snapped, still looking betrayed.
Cade looked at her for a moment, saying nothing. He just began to walk forward, pushing his hand back into his coat pocket. "Look, if you really want me to fuck off, I'll fuck off."
Tyler rolled her eyes, now turning to walk back home, already planing what she was going to do. She didn't want to stay there any longer, not with this boy who she didn't know whether or not to trust.
"Okay okay, no..." Cade frowned, stopping her from turning away. "Not going home," he told her. "Let me tell you this. I don't know why I joined in so often, maybe fitting in was something I loved and didn't want to lose. But I can assure you if I'd had the faintest idea of how it made you feel I'd never, ever have continued. That's no excuse I know, but we've been talking for a year, right? I know you inside and out, the real you. And you know me. The real me, not just the dick at school."
"So? You think that matters to me?" Tyler snapped again, looking close to tears once more. She swallowed hard, clenching her fists, digging her nails into her palms.
"If you're a good person, yes." Cade looked to Tyler. "Please, just let me prove to you that I'm sorry. If I fuck up, fine. But I promise I won't." Cade's phone began to ring again, he took it out and turned it off. "Please?"
"You know, I'm pretty sure you're girlfriend's waiting for you somewhere." She said in a shaky voice. She turned and started to walk away, but for the first time since finding out her "savior" was Cade, she felt like she had a bit of hope. "She's obviously under the belief that she's the most important thing to you. You better not lie to another girl." She took another step away. "I'll see you at school."
"You promise you'll be in?" Cade asked, looking to Tyler. She'd already left. Cade picked up the phone to his girlfriend and spoke to her, telling her he'd just had to visit his grandma and he didn't want to be rude by picking up. Kris was one of the shy girls, the popular kids ripped in Cade for dating her.
The next day, Tyler was in her usual spot, her fists clenched as she endured the bombardment of insults. "I thought you were gonna die, emo bitch!"
"Here, I brought some pills if you lost yours!"
"Want a razor to cut, emo?"
Cade heard the insults and scowled, he knew he couldn't do much, but for a start he didn't join in. The last comment, "mommy doesn't want you," tipped Cade over the edge. "Will you guys just shut the fuck up?" he snapped, clenching his teeth at his friends who were now laughing at him. "You on the emo's side now?" they asked.
Tyler locked eyes with Cade, shaking her head slightly. She swallowed hard and went back to her work, scrawling out a new suicide note. His friends went back to teasing her, especially Kris and her bunch of friends.
Cade looked at Kris when she called Tyler a slut. "Kris, lay off." Kris looked surprised, "lay off?" she asked, looking like a slapped ass. "Yes, Kris. Lay off." Cade scowled at his girlfriend, unimpressed by her behaviour. She was never one to join in, but today she was doing it worse than he ever had. "Maybe it's time you guys learnt it's not okay to be fucking douche's to people you don't know." "What, and you know this loser?" Kris complained.
Tyler slunk down into her seat further, wishing she could just disappear. She slipped her hand under her red ribbon and began picking at her cuts, trying to rip the scabs off, silent and afraid.
Cade sighed, lunch came and went and last period was bound to be a pain. He didn't want to go. Meet me in the courtyard. Cade sent to Tyler, sighing as he pressed send. He was sat in the courtyard, doubting Tyler would turn up.
Tyler looked around, appearing in one of the doorways, before slowly making her way over to Cade. "What do you want?" She asked slowly, almost as if she was scared.
"It's about time I told you." Cade looked drained, but not nearly as bad as she'd looked last night. "Tyler... Or, the girl I've been talking to for the past year. Well, you've been my life. I've grown to love you as a friend and maybe even more. It really, really sickens me to know what I'd done to you emotionally and... physically. I just want you to know I'm going to do everything I can and I want to set it right because the girl I knew down the phone is the girl I want to be associated with."
((Should Kris show up as they talk?))Tyler gapes at Cade, completely caught off guard. She closed her mouth slowly, swallowing hard, and blinked. She didn't know how to respond, messing with her ribbon as she stood there in disbelief and confusion.
(Sounds good!)
Cade took Tyler's hand, moving the ribbon away and gently kissing her older cuts, making sure not to sting them. It was purely a friendly gesture, but Kris in the corner didn't think so. "Get... the fuck... off her.''
Cade took Tyler's hand, moving the ribbon away and gently kissing her older cuts, making sure not to sting them. It was purely a friendly gesture, but Kris in the corner didn't think so. "Get... the fuck... off her.''
Tyler quickly jerked her hand away from Cade, stumbling backwards at the voice of Kris. The angered girl, who used to be Tyler's friend, starting shooting a barrage of insults at her, looking ultimately pissed. Tyler, however, looked ultimately done. Done with this. Done with life.
"Kris would you just fuck off?" Cade yelled back. "I thought I was a bad person, yeah I've said shit but you and your friends? you're fucking sick!" Cade yelled back. It was too late, Kris already had her hands round Tly'ers neck
Tyler didn't even struggle. She stood perfectly still, closing her eyes. She didn't feel like there was any reason for her to stay alive, so she let the girl's hands close around her throat. After a few moments, she felt close to passing out, and still didn't move.
Cade yelled at Kris to get off, but she didn't move. Cade never hit girls, he'd never lay a finger on a girl - but this was Kris attempting to kill Tyler. Cade screamed at Kris, but she didn't budge - He pushed her, hard enough to knock her over with Tyler. "Don't fucking touch her!" Cade yelled in Kris's face, holding both her hands together and pushing her away.
