Sci-Fi, fantasy and speculative Indie Authors Review discussion
Writing Technique
>
To fragment or not Fragment.
date
newest »
newest »
Mod
In third person, no, I don't think this should be changed. Even in a tense scene, the third person narration should flow smoothly. First person you might be able to get away with some stuccato sentences, but keep in mind that if the first person narrator is telling what happened in the past tense, it is implied that they are somewhat removed from the situation and their inner thoughts should remain clear to the reader.
For the first person present tense, I suppose you could make the narration a little choppy because the reader is supposed to be experiencing the action as it happens. Personally, I don't read or write this style, so someone else may have a different opinion on whether or not this works.
As with everything, it's a matter of not overstepping the bounds of readability.Sentence fragments are used quite often in fiction to make a point, to modify pacing, and sometimes just for style.
But when you do it too much, you break the reader out of the story by focusing their attention on how you say things rather than what you're saying.
The important thing, I think, is to only use them when you're doing it on purpose. For a reason. Not accidentally. (he he)
My first draft was littered with fragments, as the words flowed more naturally that way onto the page, but I didn't really care until I went through my first re-draft. I've tried to take most of them out so that they're grammatically correct now, but I think if one of your characters would speak that way, then write it that way. There are all sorts of grammatical horrors in everyday speech now.I agree with the comment above that third person probably shouldn't have fragments, though, unless you're trying to make a point with it.
There's a difference between third-person-omniscient and third-person-single-POV. Very few people write omniscient narratives these days, and tend to stay in one person's head at any given time, even if writing in the third person. In third-person-single-POV it's almost a given that language will fragment in high-stress situations. In fact as the 'psychic distance' advances up the scale, the language will more than likely become less coherent. It partly depends on the narrative voice of course. If your POV character has an excellent command of language, and themselves, the fragmentation will be less. It may be that your character uses short and clipped sentences normally but becomes longer and more rambling when the stress rises. Ultimately, the voice of your POV character will be intrinsic to the narrative voice if your narrative is presented in this way, so take your lead from that.
Christina wrote: "Hi Imowen, this is an interesting topic. Are you talking about dialog or narration? Stutters, breaks, shifting gears, or other spoken quirks can certainly be inserted. If you're talking about chang..."No I am talking about first person in the present tense.The character is experiencing what's going on and interrupting it to the reader. From my partner/ editor I am working with I have ran into minor issues already.
For example dark sarcasm does not work with the my main character period. Jargon can cause confusion and that's about it. I hate 3rd person with a passion. If it's written in 3rd I will never give it a thought to read. This is why I hate anything tolkein-lack luster excitement and I hate being told a story.
Digressing from that- First person/ character experiencing the event is the only style I really enjoy. The reason why I never left outside of lovecraft horror. all his stories are first person experiencing heinous evil.
Micah wrote: "As with everything, it's a matter of not overstepping the bounds of readability.Sentence fragments are used quite often in fiction to make a point, to modify pacing, and sometimes just for style...."
Good point,
What I learned from my editor treat fragments like kicker in the nfl but do it all the time, it will piss off the reader tremendously.
In my first book It was used alot in action events only. In real life with adrenaline sky rocketing you're not going say full sentences period. Bring a little realism in my work. The big 'but' here is this, you mentioned it. Becareful don't over do it because the reader will only expect during those heated situations. To be specific-once people are accustom to reading my work. When an action situation is occuring-they know to expect some fragments here and there, for the speed of the event.
Jeff wrote: "My first draft was littered with fragments, as the words flowed more naturally that way onto the page, but I didn't really care until I went through my first re-draft. I've tried to take most of t..."ouch!!! My friend you don't need to remind me of how written word and spoken word getting butchered these days. Look at the dictionary they have stupid words like twerk. From there majority of words are getting back placed aside to make room for ratchet language lol.
I came into that problem with my manuscript. I did not separate the speed of my book. Clarification action scene bled over into none action stuff. And that's when I found myself in the bad side of Fragment sentence town.
Like you I gotta away with some frags with one character. But that's how he talks/ walking stereotype-proving a point that people look stupid acting like one. In that scene, I am speaking of the main character wanted to laugh in his face-hard lol.
My editor and I talked about this in the last chapter of my book, nothing that ticked my editor off. I just explained, where I am coming from. In high stress situations english language will be 'fucked up.' I was staying true to the stress field environment, characters making quick choices along with making bad moves. In the end the main character finds away out of it.
In the end of the day we straightened everything out. However, this has grown on me and I am wondering have you-members of the group has come across this before? As a writer do you get caught up in your work-at times you through english out the door and stay true to your character? Have you seen this in books? What was your reaction? Personally I am all about the story, when it comes to intense situations-to me this is when a writer really has to show his or ass here. That means I forgive with some fragmented sentences here and there. Because I get what the character(s) is going through. What's your thoughts? No wrong answer here period.