Monstrous by Harper A. Brooks -> Starting February 16th, 2022

[Alaina]

The dark voices aren’t real, they say.
They tell me it’s all in my head.
But the monsters want to play, you see.
So they’ll come for me in my bed.

I’m still haunted by the monsters of my past.

And they remember me, too…

All I want is to feel normal. But the pills that numb the pain end up stripping me of who I am until I’m left feeling hollow.

When I stop taking them, I can see clearly again, and after so much darkness and tragedy, I’ve found myself.

Then come the voices…

Monsters.

Three of them.

Dark shadowy things that I thought only dwelled in my nightmares—they’re real. And they’ve been waiting for me to come home.

They want to open my mind to things I can hardly imagine, in my life and in the bedroom. But I’m scared. I’ve been running from my fears for years, and now these monsters want to claim me as theirs.

They promise me protection from a far more dangerous threat, an evil that tried to take my life before and wants to finish the job.

Am I losing my mind?

Can this really be happening?

I have a bad feeling that no matter what I do, I’m going to be devoured in the end.

**Monstrous is an ultra steamy paranormal romance novella. This standalone is meant for those who like to embrace the things that go bump in the night instead of running from them.**

[Alaina]

Okay, let's see if this actually stays and doesn't magically disappear or get deleted.

[Kade]

I see it!

[Kade]

I just started, but the first chapter definitely has some interesting bits of info about the FMC and likely is preparing us for specific plot lines.

This quote in general appeals to me for some reason. Maybe because it’s relatable for those of us with depression?
” You take a backseat to your life just hoping that whoever has control is going to steer you in the right direction. Or maybe not. Maybe you only pretend to care because deep down the apathy and numbness is intoxicating.”

Some interesting / informative tidbits from chapter 1:
Not sure if any count as spoilers, so tell me if I should edit it as such?
-FMC was in serious relationship with a man named Walker whom was murdered. Killer was never found.
-FMC is an artist who is now struggling to create her art due to the trauma of what occurred to Walker.
-FMC is hiding some info / symptoms about what’s really going on in her mind from the trauma. Ie/ hearing voices telling her to bad things?
-memorial for Walker is coming up. It’s been 7 years.

Another interesting quote from FMC
I’ve shriveled into static and the voices fade away into white noise.

[❀ Crystal ✿ -]

25% (view spoiler)[OK wow this story really moves quick. I wonder if the demons haunting her are the bad guys? I feel so bad she lost the love of her life, I can’t imagine her future harem had anything to do with his death, at least I hope not!! Of course now she has to escape this possible kidnapping which must be by the strange man at the bank…… (hide spoiler)]

[❀ Crystal ✿ -]

57% (view spoiler)[I have to laugh with how quickly she gave in to the men from her dreams/nightmares showing up. Not only is she handling it rather well but she took no time in sleeping with them. I mean go girl, just took me off track a little lol. But now it’s clear her drawings are where her powers stem from. And of course now she brought out Darnkess. She’s like playing a Quiji board only more dangerous lol (hide spoiler)]

[❀ Crystal ✿ -]

74% (view spoiler)[This is very Twilight feeling with resorting to the “I have your mother,” blackmail line. I am almost getting whiplash from the speed of this story. Almost wish it’d slow down a little because the plot is actually really interesting and could be cool developed more. Like why does she have this skill? What does it mean, who is she? (hide spoiler)]

[❀ Crystal ✿ -]

Finished (view spoiler)[I know that was a novella but dang that was a quick read. I did enjoy this and think it’s kinda a cool concept that her fiancée became Darkness and over the years just derailed like an angry spirit. This would be cool if it was longer. And a HEA or some more answers would have been nice but still a dec3nt read. (hide spoiler)]

[❀ Crystal ✿ -]

Kade wrote: "I just started, but the first chapter definitely has some interesting bits of info about the FMC and likely is preparing us for specific plot lines.

This quote in general appeals to me for some r..."

The quote really is relatable. The heroine was an interesting character and I kinda liked the mental health aspect even if it was more of a paranormal reasoning than scientific. Sometimes it would be nice to pass off control of life but there’s no one who can take care of ourselves better than us. Grief though really just adds another challenge! Crazy she had to witness her fiancées end and because of the situation also have no one believe her. I really do feel bad for her especially since she’s been hiding from life for seven years 😢

[Kade]

❀ Crystal ✿ - wrote: "25% [spoilers removed]"

It does move quickly!! Her feeling like someone was watching her constantly made me wonder if they were bad guys as well! Glad I wasn't alone in thinking that.

[Kade]

38% -
These may or may not be spoilers, but better safe i suppose.

(view spoiler)[
The 3 "shadows/monsters" finally show themselves to FMC when she's almost kidnapped by the man she believes killed Walker.
I'm still not sure i fully understand what the monsters may be. Ghosts/ghouls? Demons? It seems they appear out of shadows or live in the shadows. And is "mark smith" the man who murdered Walker or how does he come into this? Why did he want to kidnap her?!

The end of the chapter, one of the men tells Marianna they own her.. What will this mean for her?!
One of the monsters also has horns, so is he a demon?
(hide spoiler)]

[Kade]

❀ Crystal ✿ - wrote: "Kade wrote: "I just started, but the first chapter definitely has some interesting bits of info about the FMC and likely is preparing us for specific plot lines.

This quote in general appeals to ..."

To touch base on the 7 year part, I am curious as to why the author chose to go with such a longer time period. To think she's gone 7 years in this "stuck" routine still living everyday as if Walker just recently died. [ or that's how it sounded ].

[Kade]

I feel bad for MC that she is constantly questioning her sanity. I can only imagine how frustrating and difficult that is for her. but let's be real, it IS kind of crazy to have 3 monsters randomly appear out of shadows and claim you right?

[Kade]

43% -
Just needed to talk about this part and what they are!

"We're here to keep you safe and to make you feel good." Can someone just say that to me please?! haha

We finally get descriptions of the monsters and what exactly they are.
(view spoiler)[
Monster 1 - Dark eyes, black hair slicked back, horns, forked tongue, fangs. Vexx - He is Darkness.
Monster 2 - short dark hair, gray eyes, covered in dark tattoos, six pack Arc - he is hopelessness.
Monster 3 - WALKER?! curly blond hair, green eyes but wait, it isn't really. Zane, he is FEAR, and he has the ability to take different shapes, conjure person's greatest fear and become it.

So they are "nightmares in physical form."
(hide spoiler)]
Interesting. I can't say I've EVER read a book with this as a concept, and now I'm intrigued. Honestly, the book was kind of dragging for me for a bit. I wasn't super invested or into the book until this part. This is where I really got into it and couldn't put it down.

[Kade]

( discussions about the first sex scene, darkness, etc ] Seriously, pardon how scattered this all is. My notes are chaos.

"We're going to pleasure you, little love, Arc purrs, And You're going to let us."
I love when they have pet names for the FMC.

We finally get to the first REAL sex scene that wasn't in her dreams, and whew child. I love that blood play was mentioned too. I haven't seen that in many books. And them fighting during the sex over her?!

I love the quote that ended Chapter 5 too. I don't want it any other way. I just want the three of them. I want my nightmares."

I completely relate to the statement she made when they were bathing her at 50%. - I've never felt like I deserve this kind of attention. Same girl same.

(view spoiler)[
Also - Vex can start fires? or is there more to it when he made the candle in her bathroom light up and said "this is what i do."
Zane tells her that it was her drawings that kept them around, and when she stopped drawing them, they had to keep their distance. i wonder how that works out.

52% - Mari draws her "worst nightmare" which is apparently the real demon that showed up when Walker was killed. He's who devoured Walker.. But Mari drew him wearing Mark's face.. That demon = Darkness. This is where Mari realizes that all the times she felt like she was being watched, it was Darkness.. it's all starting to make sense now. haha.
When she draws these monsters/nightmares, she's inviting them into her life. That really is an interesting plot point.

54% - I LOVE this phrase for some reason. - "as they ditch their human faces entirely and embrace the nightmares beneath their skin."
(hide spoiler)]

55%
Whoa, whoa, whoa. "you truly have lost your sanity, brother." BROTHER?!

Another discovery - She can feel their pain in some way?
You're much too important for us to lose, Mari. It's time you understand why. ohh, can't wait to figure this one out.

[Kade]

57%-93% - next post will be the ending and my final thoughts on the book

(view spoiler)[
I definitely was confused when she first stated she must have drawn Darkness to Walker and therefore his death was her fault, but Zane's explanation makes perfect sense in this.
Mari has power. "Your power is your craft and your goodness." She was right in that Darkness was trying to capture her and ended up taking Walker instead. Oof, emotional damage man. As if she didn't already feel guilty enough for everything that happened with Walker.

Zane's explanation of why Walker is Maris' biggest fear hit me hard too. "He was the last person to actually see you for you, and that is what terrifies you. That someone will see the truth of you and hate it." Is that not relatable?!

Zane also has the power to manipulate the shadows, interesting.

I love that the men/monsters encourage Mari to develop and discover her powers without just giving her the answers. her 'craft' is obviously unique.
Arc - "Just as you can attract the dark, you can also attract the light. You're a beacon. And you can use your light and your skills to heal." What an awesome power to have.
(hide spoiler)]

And aw, look at Mari discovering all her kinks in a short time. blood play, public play - "Suddenly i want the shadows gone. I want everyone to see what this creature does to me. How he turns me inside out."

74% - Mari's mom is now in danger.
(view spoiler)[
Darkness has found Mari's mom at 3 am. Lovely. Poor thing had found some peace when she realized her panic attacks and anxiety lessened when she was around her men, and bam, it's right back when she realized her mother is in danger.

Darkness seems more powerful than his brothers, but why? He can take control of the shadows away from Vexx.
(hide spoiler)]

SO when Mari rages, does she actually become stronger?

[Kade]

100% -
These monsters are mind. My light in the darkness.

I love that Mari accepted the men immediately after the traumatic event. i have to admit the book seemed to be kind of slow in the beginning, then bam, it went into this super fast insta-love / sex / fight scene / ending. Like SUPER FAST. I know it's a short book, but i can't say i fully enjoyed how quickly it went from, slow/dull to okay, it's finally picking up, to bam it's over?
i wonder if there will be more to the series maybe. I wouldn't mind actually learning more about the men and their stories, if they ARE brothers, etc.

I only gave the book 3 stars honestly.

[Kade]

My review; https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...