A Court of Thorns and Roses question

Hi, I think that's a really good question. Actually I re-read ACOTAR recently and absolutely loved Tamlin (and I think that's totally normal as it was the aim of the book). He was really kind, generous, loving and caring with Feyre. He gave her all she needed and loved her, truly loved her. Maybe so much that he stupidly sent her away 3 days before the end of the curse (but that's a matter for another day). Okay so what's my point here, because we all know that he was perfect... at the beggining. I think we started to see his flaws under the mountain. First of all, he was never brave enough to help her (by healing her I mean). The only time he reached to her was for physical contacts and that put them both in great danger. But, okay let's imagine that he really was completely helpless and couldn't do anything for Feyre, was really bound hand and foot the real problem was after. He did not 'just' turned completely crazy about her security and emprisonned her in a palace because I think that this can be excused by his mental issues and PTSD. However to me, the biggest problem was that he didn't aknowledge Feyre ones. She was having horrible nightmares every night, vomiting, losing weight, stopped painting and he did NOTHING. Like he didn't care, and yet he was supposed to love her. But writing this I notice that I think they were both really absorbed by their own issues. Even though I think that Feyre may have tried to make Tamlin talk but he refused.
Buttttt, however I really really don't think he deserved all that. Sometimes I really feel bad for all the things he endured even before Feyre his life wasn't always easy and after he lost her I think it just all came back to his face and crushed him completely. It was the drop of water that made the vase overflow like we say in France. I think we should all be compassionate about his situation the guy just lost the love of his life to his worst enemy I think it's normal to be a bit troubled. Feyre and Rhys had no right to go so hard on him for the way he treated Feyre. Okay he was horrible and didn't love her the right way however does that define him as a person ? Does that mean he can do no good in his life ? They did not need to remind him everyday of what he lost because of his own stupidity...
I don't know if I'm very clear it's all a bit confused in my head right now too. I hope my point or at least a part of it is understanable hahaha
Btw english is not my native language so sorry if there are horrible mistakes i didn't re read myself.

Yes, the way they treated tamlin was entirely justified. He on multiple occasions was rude. Like the high lords meeting and he refused to respect Feyre's wishes when she said she did not wish to return to the spring court. Feyre also forgave him and sent Rhys to the spring court every month or something to see how he was doing after the war. And Tamlin refused any help and left his court in ruin. I wouldn't be suprised if he gets killed or if someone else takes over/tries to take over the spring court in the next books. He needs to pull himself together the world doesn't revolve around him. He's a bloody prick and deserves the pain but his people don't and they are suffering because of him. The fact that he's not helping them makes it worse.

I actually agree with the initial post and have been thinking this since finishing ACOWAR and starting ACOFAS this week! it's been bothering me the extent to which Feysand continue to actively hate on him. It goes without saying that Tamlin sucks, did all these horrible things that were abusive, manipulative and misguided. He was disgusting during the meeting with all the high lords for sure (although it made for a really juicy scene, thx SJM), and this perhaps was the final nail in his coffin, as he could have had an opportunity to put it behind him, at least outwardly, and been civil. Nothing would have made his actions right, but this could have put the public behavior to bed.

*SPOILERS* I will say the deus ex machina with him and the armies at the end of ACOWAR was a bit heavy handed, but okay whatever. As the initial post mentioned, they're not giving him any room for redemption, which I think could be done without having to forgive or condoning his behavior. And it's interesting that SJM sets up all of these supporting elements for his redemption, just to have Feysand undermine it. Which is the point of it all I suppose.

My two biggest things in all of this are 1. When he aids Feyre as she's fleeing the king at the end of ACOWAR and 2. THE BIGGEST is him literally saving Rhys w the other HL. Like... I would have perished along with Rhys if he'd died, so i'm personally biased in this. But that in and of itself...to save your literal enemy who you despise. It goes a long way with me. Plus him wanting Feyre to be happy. It bothers me how much they continue to taunt him because at a certain point, they won the war and can't we all chill now. It doesn't mean you don't still harbor pain for all the abuse, and they certainly are never going to be besties and there will still be tension for the centuries of wrongdoing. But I'm over it being such a strong force and focus after all is said and done.

At the 3rd book, the way both Feyre and Rhys treated Tamlin (and Lucien simply for his connection to Tamlin) was treated horribly. They acted like they were the bigger better person for 2 whole books only to turn into a bigger problem than the men himself. They left his land barren and broken simply because he loved Feyre (in the wrong way, admittedly)

I think if you’ve been in an abusive relationship in reality, you can see the red flags before the mountain much easier and sooner, and can understand that he was lucky to have them talk to him ever again and to have them help him. Saying that there was a point that I did feel a bit bad for tamlin, but you can’t treat people like that and expect everyone to be happy about it and have no come backs. As a quick example, Tamlin was possessive from the get go, his jealousy shows that.

Tamlin did love Feyre, but he didn't show it the right way. He was posessive, and the relationship was very unhealthy. He didn't understand Feyre's needs and goals, like Rhys does. Tamlin acted incredibly bitchy, and there is definitely reasons for Feysand to hate him. I think I felt a little bad for Tamlin at some point during the series, but most of the time, he annoyed me endlessly and I wanted him to go away. During the High Lords meeting, for example, Tamlin was rude and insensitive. Overall, I think the way he was treated was mostly justified.

Seriously, the way Feyre and Rhysand treated the man could not be justified. I'm not saying that what they did was terrible and anywhere near as bad as what other characters did, but the way they rubbed their bond into the poor male's face was just sad and pathetic. Neither am i trying to say that what Tamlin did in any way, he had no right to lock her up in his home, but there are parts of me that can understand the decisions he took. I believe he truly loved Feyre, and just took poor decisions in an attempt to keep her safe. Rhysand had a reason to be mad, figuring that Tamlin did have a role in the death of his mother and sister, Feyre's anger was justified by the f

Uh so I think both Tamlin and Feysand hold equal responsibility for the failure of their relationship. Tamlin triggered it Under the Mountain when he didn't help Feyre whatsoever - he just begged Amarantha to have mercy which was a little pathetic. He even kneeled for Rhys to protect Feyre which was, again, a little pathetic. Albeit I can understand why (I mean Rhys was the most powerful High Lord in the history of Prythian plus the blight weakened Tamlin) BUT STILL. He should have fought.

After they escaped Under the Mountain, Tamlin becomes possessive and controlling. As Rhys says later on in the series, "love can become a poison." He disregards Feyre's needs as a Faerie and let's her lose weight, fall ill, vomit and suffer traumatic nightmares which isn't really good boyfriend material. Feyre was right to hesitate on their wedding day. Then he goes to the extent of locking Feyre in his house when she's clearly claustrophobic after the events during her time Under the Mountain. So all in all, Tamlin is a complete pyromaniac at the start of ACOMAF.

So then Feyre escapes the Spring Court and falls in love with Rhys. Problematic when you've got an obsessive lover breathing down you neck. Tamlin allies with the King of Hybern (a main antagonist) just to get Feyre back. Now getting to ACOWAR, Feyre, in vengeance, destroys the Spring Court before happily skipping off into the sunset with Lucien - Tamlin's best friend - at her side. (#SlayGirl)

Then there's the meeting with all the High Lords in ACOWAR during which Tamlin, despite wanting an alliance, says degrading comments about Feysand. Unnecessarily. Which was rude and uncalled for.

Then later on Tamlin saves Feyre while she's infiltrating Hybern's base. Intense right? One moment, they're at each others throats. Next thing you know, they're saving eachother. Tamlin even resurrects Rhys right at the end of ACOWAR. He then says "Be happy, Feyre." Feyre then sends him a letter through Lucien wishing him all the best as well.

So consequently, they both hurt eachother and the hated was justified. I kinda wish Tamlin found his own mate through since it really would have helped him begin to heal and get over Feyre. But alas, it was not meant to be!

Hi, I have a lot of thoughts about this after reading the series and honestly i think that tamlin was just doing what he was born and raised to do. throughout pyrithian we see a predominantly patriarical and controlling society navigating in these courts and feudal states. that being said there are certain customs and ways that these high lords are expected to act. Enter Tamlin, its obvious from the start that while this character is trying his best he's not quite the prince charming we would expect. Its mentioned that he definitely did not have the best relationship with his father and has trauma surrounding his mother after her death (and while rhys definitely had something to do with that, tamlin is not without some blame). Therefore we know that tamlin is not the most stable, emotionally evolved character. now feyre, while i am not excusing her actions homegirl has some issues and a shit-ton of rage.
Essentially what im trying to say is that you put two people in a house together with very opposite temperments, values, attachment styles, and love languages and there are going to be some fireworks, especially if they have both been through trauma. there was all around poor communication that sped up the decay of the relationship but tamlin locking feyre in the house without her consent was obviously the last straw. did he do this out of love to protect her from what he thought was dangerous? yes. was it entirely rational? no.
In closing; feyre, tamlin, and rhys are all characters that have gone through so much and just need some therapy

I hated Tamlin for the way he treated Feyre, how he hide things from her, lied to her, he did not understand her the way Rhys does, how he think less of her, but I did felt Bad for him at a point in 3rd book. Tamlin loves Feyre, that much is evident. He just loves her too much & that's the TRAGEDY!!!

i loved tamlin in the books many people hatet him but i think they dont see beyond the pages, yes he hurt feyre but dident she do the same ?, his entire court was brought down bc she was mad at him did the people of spring deserv it ? no all they ever did was put there lov to tamlin and he made a mistake but the inner cicle has also made mistakes, i would like 2 books on eris and tamlin on for tamlins redemtion and for him to rebuild his court and make it a new era of spring and find happiness, with a lesser farie, cus where spring succeeded in making the hirecy of of high and lesser fae non of the other courts hav succeeded spring is uniqe with sutch strong border to the human lans i would love for lucien and tamlin work together on helping the human who were wronged in efferts to change springs bad name, and for rhys to leave tamlin alone and stop tounting him, he know what he did was wrong, but we dont know the story behind why tamlin gave the information aboudt rhys mother and sisters were aboudt why did he give that information up ? they were freinds something must of happend and tamlin said it himself it was his brothers and farther who did it ? why must the hate go on, i would like a book on tamlin like tower of dawn for chaol honestly i think it would be for the best and not just leav him in the dirt, honnestlyy i would love it if spring came down on stop and got there redemtion in the war with koshei

I felt frustrated during A Court of Mist and Fury because at that point, Sarah J Maas is basically *telling* you hey, Tamlin sucks now, everything he does is so abusive, he's suddenly the worst. It felt similar to the incident with Nehemia breaking up Celaena and Chaol - once it's time to introduce the new love interest, the current one HAS to do something terrible, unforgivable in the main character's eyes, and sometimes out of character. Now the main character is back to being single, just in time for Rhysand/Rowan to show up and sweep them off their feet.

It feels like there's very little space for readers to form their own opinions about Tamlin as it's already been decided for us. No space for redemption, because Feyre hasn't got several characters she has good relationships with to choose from. There can only be one truly good love interest, and it has been spelled out to us so there's no room for questioning it. Rhysand has showed up? Feyre is feeling conflicted? Oh, well in that case better have Tamlin start getting physically abusive. Sarah J Maas has a tendency to tie things off a little *too* neatly.

I agree but I don’t really like Tamlin. I loved Rhys from the beginning, and it is very clear that Feyre hates her life in the spring court at the beginning of ACOMAF, and Tamlin does absolutely NOTHING to help her, poor Feyre. Rhys actually tries to help her, but Feyre stuck her head in the sand and didn’t notice, but I feel sorry for her because it is as if no one cares for her anymore. But yes, SJM had to make Tamlin do something bad in Feyre’s eyes otherwise Feyre wouldn’t leave him for Rhys, like Aelin and Chaol. Though I don’t think Chaol did as bad a thing as Tamlin but that’s a topic for another day. I think Tamlin deserves a second chance, but it’s not as if he’ll have it, and Rhys’s anger towards him is self-explanatory. Tamlin does what he thinks is the right thing and by instinct, but maybe it’s just time his instincts grew a few brain cells.

Ploumy wrote: "So for the entire series, Rhys and Feyre absolutely loathe Tamlin - which is justified to some extent, don't get me wrong. But they actually treated him quite maliciously (such as when Rhys went to..."
I feel exactly the same, sure he made some bad choices but it was never from a place of malice and he deserves a chance to atone, the way Rhys and Feyre treated him is the one black dot i see in their character and i love it because at some point they were getting too sweet for my liking.

Just read through ACOTAR to ACOFAS this past week. Tamlin wasn't a great partner—clearly an emotionally-stunted secretive fae with anger issues. Although he instigated things that would justify retribution from Feyre, I don't think that meant ruining the entire Spring Court on the account of a few (Tamlin, Ianthe). I don't think Rhysand's actions are in any way justifiable when he visits the Spring Court post-war to harass Tamlin (who's basically a dead man talking at this point) on the destitution of his Court. Tamlin may have unintentionally made Feyre unhappy for a few months, and played the perfect double agent too well during the war, but he deserved some redemption for saving her when Elain was being rescued. Not sure why Tamlin needs Rhysand's forgiveness when the parties who were wronged were Feyre and the Spring Court for committing to a doomed relationship and placing her over his own people (not breaking the masked curse, siding with Hybern). I don't fault him for his delusion because there was this whole Beauty and the Beast curse/prophesy about their true love and persevering with her fight with a 50-year long tyrant, and defeating death to remain by his side. The only icing missing on the cake was the whole mating bond thing.

I'm with Lucien—there is no reason to beat someone who is already down. It's giving "James Potter bullying Snape" vibes. Rhysand honestly gave me the ick since ACOFAS. Not surprised Feyre is overlooking the red flags (she's dealing with life-threatening love affairs at 19-20 and is dealing with males as old as dust). I just feel sad that SJM gave up on Tamlin, who was initially this benevolent high lord who cared for humankind in the first book. Rhysand was just the edgier and better carbon copy.