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Covers, Blurbs, 1st Line, Query > Blurb help requested

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message 1: by Stephen (new)

Stephen Brandon | 14 comments Hi all,

I am seeking some feedback on my blurb for a 86k contemporary fiction, though a few have told me it is more a Weird Fiction. I am a new writer and any help would be appreciated. Thank you in advance.

Blurb:

Jet Tavor couldn't have picked a worse time to kill his parents. Even though they deserved it for what happened to his sister, now, he, his siblings and a dog with an overactive glandular issue have to move in with their eccentric Grandparents during a world transforming pandemic (no, not that one). If the strange and deadly creatures materializing or the zealots with guns don't kill them, their Grandma's driving might.

A humorous and weird fiction about family. The family you are born into and the one we make along the way. It is about all the things a person is willing to do, the good and the bad, to protect that family when humanity is at its worst, even if that family is possibly insane.


message 2: by Prafulla (new)

Prafulla | 18 comments It looks good to me. Maybe specific examples in the last paragraph might create more interest.


message 3: by Stephen (new)

Stephen Brandon | 14 comments Thank you for the comment.


message 4: by Bethany (new)

Bethany Tomerlin Prince (bethanytomerlinprince) | 52 comments It's a pretty good blurb. It starts with a hook and has mystery to it.

The only thing is that the last paragraph is sort of a weird tone shift where you pull away from following Jet to a more general perspective.


message 5: by Stephen (new)

Stephen Brandon | 14 comments Thanks, you are the second person who has said that. I will have to fix the second paragraph and give more specifics. I appreciate both your help.


message 6: by Stephen (new)

Stephen Brandon | 14 comments I incorporated elements of both paragraphs and expanded it a little into a new blurb. I would appreciate any comments you have on it.

Stephen

New blurb:

Jet Tavor couldn't have picked a worse time to kill his parents. He, a Georgia born homeschooled teen, who was never allowed to use a cell phone or a computer, finds he must do the unthinkable and murder his parents for the sake of his sister. Now, he, his siblings and a dog with an overactive glandular issue move in with his strange grandparents to begin their new lives during the start of a global transforming rash.

During this time, creatures begin appearing and they are not all the cuddly type. If this wasn’t enough, armed religious fanatics start coming out of the woodwork, hell bent on ridding the world of the rest they deemed unworthy. Jet and his family must find out what they are willing to do, the good and the bad, to protect the ones they love to survive when humanity is at its worst and the whole world seems against them. But, even if the world doesn’t kill him off, his grandma’s driving might.


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