SOLVED. Children's Picture book - Narrator attempts to scare reader with different "scary" things that aren't really that scary. [s]

[Alex]

I read this book sometime between 1998 and 2002. It's a not so scary “scary” children's picture book. From what I remember, the narrator (who we see in the illustrations) is trying to scare, you, the reader, and doing a terrible job. He tells the vindow vasher story. There’s a report card of all Fs at one point. And my most vivid memory of the book is the narrator saying something along the lines of, “You’re not scared yet? Well, this next page is REALLY going to scare you!” You turn the page and it’s a two page spread of mixed vegetables.

[Daisy]

Alex, what's the vindow vasher story?

[Rainbowheart]

Some Things Are Scary?

[Alex]

One of my friends remembered the title of the book! It's Velcome by Kevin O'Malley!

@Daisy- The story's real title is "The Viper." It's about this girl who's home alone one night and she gets a call from someone called the "Viper" who is coming up to her apartment. He keeps calling and saying he's getting closer, and the girl is getting more and more scared. At the end, he shows up and he's just a man with an accent who's the "vindow vasher" and has come to "vash and vipe the vindows." It shows up in a few scary story for kids anthologies including Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark.

@rainbowheart- Thanks for the suggestion!

[Kris]

Glad you found your book, Alex. Here's the link - Velcome by Kevin O'Malley.