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What's the stupidest thing you ever wrote?
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Kevin
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Feb 08, 2015 07:49AM
When I was in my early twenties, I read a lot of Beckett and Theater of the Absurd. Accordingly, I wrote two acts of a play I called "Charlemagne, Sylvia Plath and Me." A few years later, I came across the draft in my notes. I was so horrified by how pretentious I was that I tore it up.
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Lmao! I love, love, love scouting through my old stuff. I throw away nothing :)In my teens I wrote some superbly pretentious poetry, always good for a laugh.
And the scripts me and my sister wrote as kids when we'd make tapes of ourselves pretending to be radio DJ's. We were ridiculous. Still have the tapes as well somewhere but got nothing to play em on.
Fun topic! I had t dig way back in my memory...The dumbest thing I ever wrote is also one of my proudest. I take pride in my stupidity.
I was 7 years old. I got, what I thought at the time, a brilliant idea for a children's book about two tribes of fairies havig a war.
There was no plot. There were no characters. No conflicts. Absolutely nothing happened.
I had no idea what the hell I was doing. But, at 7 years old, I was more than young enough to believe I knew exactly what I was doing.
I was going to make a book. (About 20 years later I learned you have to actually write a book). I sat down with my arts and craft, used crayons and a big pad of construction paper, and proceeded to make book. I punched holes and threaded pieces of yarn.
Oh, yeah, I made the book all right. It was so bad that my mother mistook it for garbage and threw it out.
You mean, all the silly unicorn stories I wrote when I was 9 or so?
Joanne wrote: "Lmao! I love, love, love scouting through my old stuff. I throw away nothing :)In my teens I wrote some superbly pretentious poetry, always good for a laugh.
And the scripts me and my sister wr..."
If only there were still DJ's too ;-)
Lily wrote: "Fun topic! I had t dig way back in my memory...The dumbest thing I ever wrote is also one of my proudest. I take pride in my stupidity.
I was 7 years old. I got, what I thought at the time, a br..."
You were a born natural, Lily :-D
For once, I'm glad to be old(er). If I were just starting out, I'd surely write something awful, put it on the web, and never be able to take it back. I'd be haunted for the rest of my life ;-)
Whew! When I was in high school, I wrote the sappiest, insta-love short story. It was bombastic, completely unrealistic, "I've only known you for five minutes, but I LoooooooVE you" story. I cringe to remember it. Oh, and it ends with a tragic death-of course. My teacher must have liked it though. I earned a 105%, lol.
Tabitha wrote: "Whew! When I was in high school, I wrote the sappiest, insta-love short story. It was bombastic, completely unrealistic, "I've only known you for five minutes, but I LoooooooVE you" story. I crin..."
Insta-love followed by insta-death :-D
Kevin wrote: "For once, I'm glad to be old(er). If I were just starting out, I'd surely write something awful, put it on the web, and never be able to take it back. I'd be haunted for the rest of my life ;-)"Oh god, yes!
The YA horror stories I used to write when I was a teenager! They make me cringe whenever I think about them!
Mod
When I was about five I wrote a song, influenced by Dr. Seuss but not a very good imitation:There's a moose
on the loose
in the neighborhood.
That was the whole thing. I still remember the tune.
The essay I wrote when applying to transfer universities was a horribly pretentious essay that should have been titled "Why I'm better than everyone at my current school." Reading it now makes me cringe. The scary thing is, it worked. Not sure what that says about the school I wound up graduating from.
oooo I once wrote about this man who didn't have a shadow. that's all it was. nothing happened. just pure rambling that I thought was super smart and perfect lol fast forward a bit, I find it, and it was completely crap. dear god that was a slap in the face to my ego.
Lily wrote: "lol I'm loving all these stories!"you and I both
Mod
Horrendous poetry in high school. *To be fair to myself - it was an assignment* My teacher tactfully explained to my parents that I had a unique voice and 'no one else could have written it.' He was a good guy. Gave me an 'A' because my essays were a great deal better than my poetry.
i found a lot of crap stories in old notebooks and harddrives i wrote/typed between 12-16. some got lost between moves but i was a meticulous note taker so sometimes if the story itself got trashed i still had character sheets and outlines. most of my early stuff had my mom questioning my sanity (i read a lot of books outside my grade range. thanks college prep library). some old stuff i have dusted off and rewritten since i now have more exp. others are still rotting. i will eventually get around to it
Michael wrote: "Lily wrote: "lol I'm loving all these stories!"you and I both"
Make that we three :-)
Virginia wrote: "The essay I wrote when applying to transfer universities was a horribly pretentious essay that should have been titled "Why I'm better than everyone at my current school." Reading it now makes me c..."Maybe it wasn't entirely your fault. Don't they teach you to write that sort of thing that way? :-D
Justin wrote: "I also used to write rap verses that I thought were the coolest thing ever. I recently found them on a disk and read some? wow I have no clue what I was thinking! lol They were bad."Any particularly bad rhymes? :-D
Kevin wrote: "Maybe it wasn't entirely your fault. Don't they teach you to write that sort of thing that way? :-D "I suppose they do, but that doesn't make me any less embarrassed for having written it. I sound like a total a**hole. Of course, at that age it's entirely possible that I was a total a**hole. That doesn't make me feel any better though. ;-)
Amber wrote: "When I was about five I wrote a song, influenced by Dr. Seuss but not a very good imitation:There's a moose
on the loose
in the neighborhood.
That was the whole thing. I still remember the tune."
It sounds catchy :0)
My early writing is spelled and written so badly that it's practically illegible. No one will ever know how bad it was. :-P
When I started writing the thing that somehow eventually evolved into my first book, I was in fourth or fifth grade. My three best friends were my editors. The four of us recently found a copy of that twenty-page trashpile, and dear goodness, was it awful. Almost no plot, but I put lots of words and names in bright colors and pretty fonts! Yay! It probably wasn't terrible work for our age, but it is pretty terrible in the grand scheme of things.
Gods.A class assignment in the creative writing class I took in high school. I don't recall it in detail — probably my brain doing me a big favor — but I do remember cringing as I wrote it. I was frustrated, blank, and just threw something at the page. Hackneyed, cliched, purest crap. At least I knew it was tripe at the time, lol.
I've never taken another creative writing class.
If you think about it, the concept of "creative writing" and a class to tell you how to do it is kind of an oxymoron.
Meri wrote: "When I started writing the thing that somehow eventually evolved into my first book, I was in fourth or fifth grade. My three best friends were my editors. The four of us recently found a copy of..."That sounds like a wonderful experience for you and your friends. No one stopped you or told you it was stupid. You got to be free and creative as kids, and do it together. Who knows--maybe it helped you be creative as an adult.
Renee wrote: "Gods...."Also, Yikes! There's such a long list of contenders…
My college essays definitely make the list (nods to Virginia), some really bad poetry/lyrics (sheepish grin at Justin) but I've got to go with some painfully stiff and self-conscious job application cover letters (we're talking pre-web here). I found one the other day … and well … it's a wonder I ever found work.
And uh, oh yeah. Five or six impossibly convoluted novels that died of exhaustion around page 40.
Mod
Also, I took a creative writing class in high school, loved it. One of my favorite classes. I came up with some good shit.
the first story i wrote was how aliens crashed on our planet and blended in as "hot dog farmers". the reason their "hot dog farm" was so successful? they snatched humans (usually orphans) and ground them into super awesome hotdogs the public loved so much. also the alien farmers donated their earnings to childrens homes. yeah i was a weird 7 yr old...
When I was a teenager, I wrote a poem that didn't make sense, actually quite a few of them (total crap, mostly written on purpose to see if they would actually publish them, since I didn't think I was worthy of being a published author then) and they were traditionally published in a poetry contest which I entered often (which I never won by the way) and anthology and is now on an active website archived and open to be reviewed by weirdos all over the world. Get this, I still have full copyrights to them but, can't get them off the site. Thank goodness, my writing has improved splendidly over the years and I'm not insecure about it anymore which is most likely why I did such a stupid, stupid thing in the first place. Ah, memories of stupidity:)
Angel wrote: "When I was a teenager, I wrote a poem that didn't make sense, actually quite a few of them (total crap, mostly written on purpose to see if they would actually publish them, since I didn't think I ..."Lol, yep. I got one poem published in a youngsters anthology (scored a £10 gift card for it. Whoop!). And the rest of my awful Poetry is stuck on the web (thankfully under a pseudonym). Along with some equally atrocious essays.
When I was in college in the late 1960s, my roomies and I had one particularly wild weekend (this was the sixties... wink wink) and at some point I decided to write a parody of Star Trek. OMG. We read it later. Whaaat???
I'm with Justin, I'm adoring the unashamed confessions :DI have another one. When I first started actively writing, I got this idea for a story set in the future. At the time, total newbie, still in love with learning tenses, so I thought, hey! If the story is sent in the future, why not write the whole story in the future tense? It will be the coolest story ever!
It bombed. It just... made... no... sense.
Lily wrote: "I'm with Justin, I'm adoring the unashamed confessions :DI have another one. When I first started actively writing, I got this idea for a story set in the future. At the time, total newbie, still..."
:-D
Tom wrote: "When I was in college in the late 1960s, my roomies and I had one particularly wild weekend (this was the sixties... wink wink) and at some point I decided to write a parody of Star Trek. OMG. We..."Do you still have some of what you were smoking? lol
Lily wrote: "Tom wrote: "When I was in college in the late 1960s, my roomies and I had one particularly wild weekend (this was the sixties... wink wink) and at some point I decided to write a parody of Star Tre..."Oh, I never inhaled. Hee hee.
Tom wrote: "Oh, I never inhaled. Hee hee."What's said in Fringe, stays in Fringe ;)
Lily wrote: "Tom wrote: "Oh, I never inhaled. Hee hee."What's said in Fringe, stays in Fringe ;)"
Whew!
Randolph wrote: "My name on a marriage license."Lol!
Oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh.
*snickers quietly*
almost anything I was forced to write during middle and high school!
Randolph wrote: "My name on a marriage license."FTW!
Tom wrote: "When I was in college in the late 1960s, my roomies and I had one particularly wild weekend (this was the sixties... wink wink) and at some point I decided to write a parody of Star Trek. OMG. We..."Lol, "so the government has this car...and it runs on water, man!"
Great story. Now I want to read the parody!
