I love Alpha Male books club discussion

61 views
All about our books > character double standards

Comments Showing 1-10 of 10 (10 new)    post a comment »
dateDown arrow    newest »

message 1: by beth (new)

beth myrick (bethmyrick) | 87 comments Never began a discussion before, but I'm interested in my fellow readers' opinions about something we look for in our characters.....

1. How much experience sexually do you think is acceptable for your heroines to have?

2. Do you tend to skip the books where the heroine has had a lot of partners?

3. Does it ever become a turn off of the female character if she sleeps with anyone else in a book other than the male protagonist?

4. Is it easier to forgive the male lead for cheating in a book than the female?

5. How many times do you skip reading the next book in a series because the best friend or roommate of the heroine sleeps around?

6. Does anyone tend to skip books about female strippers or escorts?

7. Does anyone have the old "double standard" view when it comes to the main characters?

Feel free to answer one or all. I hope this opens up some lively discussion with some good book recommendations for fellow readers. I haven't shared my views or thoughts because I want honesty. I find this approach to starting group discussions in my classes effective so no one feels to just placate me ony how I feel about something.....so fire away. I'll be adding my VERY HONEST opinions once we get this party started.


message 2: by Paganalexandria (last edited Feb 01, 2015 04:34PM) (new)

Paganalexandria  | 118 comments Great topic Beth.
1. How much experience sexually do you think is acceptable for your heroines to have?

I'm pretty open with this. I like virgins, working girls, and anything in between. My line in the sand is reading stories about sexually irresponsible people in Contemporary stories in particular, (sleeping with strangers without condoms without even a token conversation about status), that never acknowledge it's a bad idea, that I'm supposed to also see as smart.

2. Do you tend to skip the books where the heroine has had a lot of partners?
No, but for some reason, I do tend to skip historical romances featuring widows, or divorcees mainly because I read that genre for that whole innocent first time trope. In everything else I'm open.


3. Does it ever become a turn off of the female character if she sleeps with anyone else in a book other than the male protagonist?
Not really if a writer sells it in the right way.

4. Is it easier to forgive the male lead for cheating in a book than the female?
No.

5. How many times do you skip reading the next book in a series because the best friend or roommate of the heroine sleeps around?
Never, sometimes I have actually got more involved in the side character than main. I am in the minority of not really being into the This Man series. The first one was okay, but it was the b story revolving the best friend that made me finish it out to This Man Confessed (This Man, #3) by Jodi Ellen Malpas .

6. Does anyone tend to skip books about female strippers or escorts?
No. I actually look for any book fiction or non-fiction featuring dancers of any kind, ballerinas, or strippers doesn't matter. Dance is a passion in real life, and love to read about any aspect of the dance, the feelings it evokes, and the hardship to mind, and body.

I am also attracted to stories featuring heroines unafraid of the power of their sexuality, capable of using it as a tool, or weapon when necessary. I don't go out of my way to read books about escorts, but if a blurb catches my attention I'm all in. I also love a good trashy non-fictional party girl tell all too.

7. Does anyone have the old "double standard" view when it comes to the main characters?
I do believe there are certain things a hero or heroine can't do and still be the White Hats. At the same time, I do read a lot of gritty crime world reads where the lines are really murky. I'm good as long, as it's acknowledged as being grimy.

This little questionnaire is funny because I always considered myself a bad feminist. Looking at my answers makes me think I'm not as bad as I thought. lol


message 3: by beth (new)

beth myrick (bethmyrick) | 87 comments Alrighty, I'm just gonna throw out there a #8 at the suggestion of some others interested in this topic. We are having our own very loud discussion about this whole double standard issue, and this is a deep thought question, and for the record this is something I wouldn't have thought of for this particular discussion, but my fellow debaters are insisting.

It's being said, here, that women aren't really able to sincerely separate emotion or feelings when it comes to having sex....huh, who woulda thunk. Anyway, based on this "revelation"

8. How does a female character who sleeps around differ from a male character who sleeps around bringing in the whole woman-whore/manwhore distinction, and which of these characters is more acceptable in a romance novel?

Don't hold back on your answer, no one here is.


message 4: by Paganalexandria (last edited Feb 01, 2015 04:48PM) (new)

Paganalexandria  | 118 comments 8. How does a female character who sleeps around differ from a male character who sleeps around bringing in the whole woman-whore/manwhore distinction, and which of these characters is more acceptable in a romance novel?

For me all this depends on genre, and time period. In contemporary there is no difference for me. For me morality arguments are genderless. Herpes does not discriminate. I'm more repulsed by anyone being promiscuous without practicing safe sex. It really grosses me out, and can take me out of a story, male or female. I'm okay if PNR/UF and diseases are not an issue.

Now in historical I understand and expect social roles of that time period to be strictly enforced. If a never married heroine is sleeping around in Victorian England, I'm annoyed if everyone acts like it's 2015. I'm fine with the men having mistresses, and women suffering extreme consequences for stepping out of line.

I also want a consequence for unsafe sex to happen, even if it's a simple unplanned pregnancy in any time period.


SB*needs low angst books* | 596 comments This is a wonderful topic. Very interesting and thought provoking. I will say I am a little old fashioned in some ways and liberal in others. Here goes:


1. How much experience sexually do you think is acceptable for your heroines to have?

I can do virgins and I can do experienced women. If it is a dirty romance I can do even more like menege and more. I do have trouble with the every day no rhythm or reason female version of the man-whore.

2. Do you tend to skip the books where the heroine has had a lot of partners?

Yes but also it depends on how the story is done. I do agree with Paganalexandria. I am not a fan of widows or divorcee only because of the tendencies to compare.

3. Does it ever become a turn off of the female character if she sleeps with anyone else in a book other than the male protagonist?

Yes. I feel that if I hold the man accountable then the same for the female. Cheating is a choice and you can't justify it. All you can do is see if the partner is willing to give them another chance. Move on from their.


4. Is it easier to forgive the male lead for cheating in a book than the female?

Not really, it is mostly about whether they are worth being forgiven. That is true of men and women. I will say if she was self righteous about cheating then did it her self, she is worse. Example the book, The Proposition by Katie Ashley.

5. How many times do you skip reading the next book in a series because the best friend or roommate of the heroine sleeps around?

I don't think I have. I have if I didn't like her period. Like gave bad advice to her or she is secretly jealous of her friend. Or just too damn bitchy and thinks she knows best.

6. Does anyone tend to skip books about female strippers or escorts?

No. I will say it has to still be well written. Nothing like a bad story to turn you off.

7. Does anyone have the old "double standard" view when it comes to the main characters?

Yes, I think I do to a point. I personally never did so don't understand those that do but respect their decision to do it. As long as it is safely done who am I to say. So I don't have a problem reading it. But I don't always get it.


8. How does a female character who sleeps around differ from a male character who sleeps around bringing in the whole woman-whore/manwhore distinction, and which of these characters is more acceptable in a romance novel?

I am like Paganalexandria it does depend on genre I am reading. When it comes to historical fiction. Then time period was different then and I want it reflect the time frame. I hate modern day females in historical fiction. Women had limits and to make it seem otherwise is annoying.

I do think there is no difference between a male or female that sleeps around. I don't get the attraction of it but it is no difference.


Ally.Always.Reads (allym612) | 33 comments 1. How much experience sexually do you think is acceptable for your heroines to have?
I don't think it matters. I do have to say that I don't like when a heroine was sexually abused and then sleeps around a lot. I guess in my own mind, I don't see something like that happening. (Maybe it's just me though?)

2. Do you tend to skip the books where the heroine has had a lot of partners?
No. I haven't seen as many of these books but I don't skip them if I do (unless the book in whole just doesn't sound appealing to me).

3. Does it ever become a turn off of the female character if she sleeps with anyone else in a book other than the male protagonist?
Yes. I picked up the book to read about the hero and heroine, not the heroine and the random guy from the bar. I especially don't like it when she sleeps with someone else while involved with the hero but if it happens before she's with the main male then it's not as bad but I still don't care for it as much. (I would like to point out that I don't like the male sleeping with anyone other than the heroine either. I started a book a couple months ago where he was sleeping with someone[before he even met the heroine], I put it down and haven't tried to pick it up again. I will eventually but at the time, I couldn't.)

4. Is it easier to forgive the male lead for cheating in a book than the female?
Excuse my language.. hell no! I can't forgive either of them. Man or woman, I can't handle cheating. It took me a long time to get over Drew [from Tangled by Emma Chase] with the stripper and they didn't even have sex. I haven't completely forgiven him (but I have continued reading their story).

5. How many times do you skip reading the next book in a series because the best friend or roommate of the heroine sleeps around?
I don't normally skip books in a series unless I didn't care for the book I just finished from the series. Or the next book just doesn't appeal to me. Sleeping around isn't really an issue for me. It is if they're in a relationship but if they're single then it isn't a big deal.

6. Does anyone tend to skip books about female strippers or escorts?
No. I've only read a couple but they weren't all that great. And I've read one where the guy was a porn star, and that wasn't very good. So with that being said, I don't really think anyone has really perfected this story line yet. I'm sure once someone does, there will be so many books like it that it will give the "billionaire romance" a run for its money.

7. Does anyone have the old "double standard" view when it comes to the main characters?
I'm sure I have had a double standard moment but I don't think it's really a huge issue for me. Because if I think like that then it's usually from how it's written and played out in the story line. Sometimes the "double standard" issues mentioned just doesn't work in some books but they do in others.

8. How does a female character who sleeps around differ from a male character who sleeps around bringing in the whole woman-whore/manwhore distinction, and which of these characters is more acceptable in a romance novel?
Going from just the books written, the man-whore is more acceptable than the woman-whore. There are just so many where the man sleeps around with everything that has a vagina but changes his ways for the heroine. It's an overused story line but it sells. The man-whore vs. woman-whore isn't an issue for me. I don't really care either way. I do agree with Sbyrd64 when she says that she doesn't she the attraction of it but there's no difference.


message 7: by Paganalexandria (last edited Feb 02, 2015 03:58PM) (new)

Paganalexandria  | 118 comments Sbyrd64 wrote: "4. Is it easier to forgive the male lead for cheating in a book than the female?

Not really, it is mostly about whether they are worth being forgiven. That is true of men and women. I will say if she was self righteous about cheating then did it her self, she is worse. Example the book, The Proposition by Katie Ashley.
"


Sbyrd64, your comment about being self righteous about cheating is a really good point. Cheating by itself in a romance isn't an automatic turnoff for me because it can sometimes add relatable drama. A while ago I DNF'd Rotten by J.L. Brooks because of vaguely not caring what happened to the characters in the end. Your comment brought home, my exact problem with that book. The heroine justifications for cheating on her husband rankled.


SB*needs low angst books* | 596 comments @paganalexandria, I am like that too. If I feel the character is trying to excuse bad behavior but hold it against someone else I just can't do it. I have a question too. What is a behavior acceptable in a male but not a female?


message 9: by Paganalexandria (last edited Feb 02, 2015 09:48PM) (new)

Paganalexandria  | 118 comments Sbyrd64 wrote: "What is a behavior acceptable in a male but not a female? ..."

Sbyrd64 there is one thing that totally loses me. I never bat an eye when men marry women 20 years younger than them, but tend to shake my head when women do it.

Hear is my reasoning because it's not morality issue. I have no problem with an older woman hooking up with younger guys for fun, fling, or even to date casually. I just think long term, it's a recipe for disaster. Women who marry men their age sometimes have to deal with their unrealistic physical expectations with conventional things like weight after childbirth, stretch marks, yada yada yada. How does throwing in with legitimate immaturity help with that situation. It's one thing when you're a hot 40 year old, and dating a 22 year old. Fast forward 15 years, and you can't still maintain that. Plus throw in the children issue. Everyone can't afford medical intervention, and even then doesn't mean it will be successful. I just think it's easier for younger women to be with older men when it's really love because we are more forgiving of physical flaws when our hearts involved, than men in general. Now keep in mind all of the null and void if either male or female is gold digging. No one is loyal in that situation. I know it's generalizing, but in real life this tends to have broken heart written all over it. Hell if it didn't work for Demi Moore, what's the chances for us mere mortals?


SB*needs low angst books* | 596 comments I totally agree. Thank you. I hate to see a woman who doesn't want to get older and tries to hard to be young still. Mariah Carey and Demi Moore have that issue to me. No offense to woman who can be with a younger man but I am like you. I can't help but feel the woman may have insecurities that won't go away with age and he may not be as forgiving. He would have to be a very mature man for that. Example, Hugh Jackman and his wife. I just do get a older man younger women but not the other way around.


back to top