I need my first chapter scrutinised...harshly. Have fun!

[Roxy]

*****ANNOUNCEMENT*****

I just wanted to say a massive thank you to everyone who participated in the improvement of my manuscript. I am overwhelmed to announce my debut novel The Guidal: Discovering Puracordis is coming late 2021. You guys helped improve my manuscript so much that I attracted the attention of a tradition publisher. I couldn’t have done it without you.

Follow me on Twitter. It was through an event on there that my manuscript found its home. Follow the journey @RoxyEloise_
I would love to connect with you all!

Thanks again.

*****************************************

Hi everyone,

I need my first chapter scrutinised, particularly on confusing aspects and boring paragraphs.

Of course if you have any other feedback, I would be happy to hear this too. My novel is 80k, YA, Magical Realism, and Romance. First chapter word count is approx 4700. Here is the blurb:

When sixteen-year-old Aurora was a child, she was told to run. That was the last time she saw her loving parents. Now being raised in an oppressive institute for children to become city law enforcers, Aurora struggles at keeping a low profile and avoiding the disciplinarian’s wrath.

Forced into a union with a stranger, told she will bear his children, and pushed into spending all her time with him, Aurora doesn’t have much room to discover her extraordinary, punishable-by-death abilities. Someone is secretly prodding her in the right direction, but will she realise before it’s too late?

Friends, bullies, and foolish behaviour, Aurora’s first year in the grown-ups’ quarter is far from straightforward.

If you would like to offer your feedback, no matter how big or small, please message me. I am looking for as many opinions as possible.

Thank you,

Roxanne.

[Roxy]

Thank you so much to everyone who has given me feedback. It has helped so much already. I am still seeking readers, so feel free to message me.

Thanks everyone.

[Roxy]

Hi everyone.

My book has come on so far since joining Goodreads, and I can't believe how long it took me to discover beta readers. It is a must-have for every writer.

I feel my first chapter is as close to perfect as I can make it, and it has made me start to question how different chapter two could be with your opinion.

So, if you would like to beta chapters 1 and 2, please message me!

I love this close community, and wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for you guys. Thanks again.

[Roxy]

*****ANNOUNCEMENT*****

I just wanted to say a massive thank you to everyone who participated in the improvement of my manuscript. I am overwhelmed to announce my debut novel The Guidal: Discovering Puracordis is coming late 2021. You guys helped improve my manuscript so much that I attracted the attention of a tradition publisher. I couldn’t have done it without you.

Follow me on Twitter. It was through an event on there that my manuscript found its home. Follow the journey @RoxyEloise_
I would love to connect with you all!

Thanks again.

[Wmba]

And a big Attaperson to you.
Hope your book is successful.

[Roxy]

Thank you. That's so nice of you!