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Tuesday Reading Kaffeeklatsch 7/21/2020

I've also been working on getting some organizational system-related things set up for the fall, to organize research and reading-related notes. I bought a disc-bound notebook the other day and am really, really liking it--it looks like a spiral-bound notebook but lets you take out and shift around the order of pages, which I find super cool and also legitimately useful. Definitely a small joy, but I've been really enjoying having a new useful toy.

My husband keeps bringing puzzles from our old house. I thought he would be more brutal than I would be about getting rid of stuff, but he's not. I've been picking the ones with bright colors rather than the harder ones I used to love.
Congrats on the insurance and relief! You may still have to deal with a private insurance company (my mom does anyway) but it's really easy. I was shocked to discover we qualified for medicaid insurance. I thought we'd end up paying $800-1000 a month, but they only count current income, not income earlier in the year. I can't wait until it's safe to go to the dentist.
I turned 62 a couple weeks ago, but I'm going to put off collecting Social Security for as long as I can. I got my first consulting inquiry in months, and it was amazing how fast it changed my mindset. It's a great sign when a company is wiling to spend time and money on Leadership Development again. Having my husband home with mom gives me a lot of freedom to say yes to things I want to do.

Great on the consulting job! I am not stopping work any time soon and certainly not starting Social Security! But Medicare...oh yeah. There will be the supplemental insurance but it is still a huge improvement in so many ways over keeping decent health insurance on myself.

I didn't get the job yet (and it might turn out to be just a one day session), but even a call is a sign that things are improving.

But, good news in my city. Finally mandated wearing masks in indoor spaces, starting Aug. 1!


I'm struggling with the non compete with my old company. I lost a potential client because I'm forced to sub through them in some cases. For this particular client it meant subbing through my old company and their parent company, both of whom added revenue margin that made me too expensive. I'm extremely disappointed but trying not to let it get me down. It was a reminder of the reason I left my old company.
I've been applying to jobs like crazy but it's so hard to network or find networking opportunities in this virtual age. I'm disappointed in the larger companies not doing more to extend their hiring practice. Even though Microsoft has a ton of open positions, they just announced they are laying off 1000 people. It's tough. I've been networking with several friends, but it's still tough. My mantra is the right position will come along at the right time. This has made me realize that although there were things I didn't like about a traditional job, there was a lot I liked, and I miss it.
I've used this time to get active again and I feel great. I've been hitting my steps goal on my garmin and walk/running. I was super excited that I ran my first mile in years the other day without stopping. The hubby and I have been swimming 3 days a week too. I'm still the same weight, but at least I feel better!
I haven't posted many reviews, but I have been reading. I just haven't been on here much. I've been lurking a bit in the background. Social media has me down. I even deactivated my Facebook account and deleted the app from my phone. I had more and more friends spreading the QAnon conspiracy theories and I couldn't take that or all of the negativity any longer. I just want pictures of dogs and books!!!

I am so happy that I retired end of 2018 before all this. I just heard from someone in my old office that even when pandemic ends (if ever!) everyone except a few people will keep working from home. They will sell their signature building and grounds and move to something much smaller. In a way, all the people working from home are subsidizing the companies by paying for their own electricity, water, internet service, etc. My daughter, who works from home, even has to supply her own laptop. I don't think most companies do any kind of reimbursement and I don't think you get a tax deduction for home office if you get a salary from a company. On the other hand, people save on commuting costs and clothing.
As an extrovert, I would miss being around other people. I learned so much from that and ended up getting some opportunities for projects and leadership from random encounters.
I have spent a lot more time on GR since the shutdown and really enjoyed the Zoom meet ups that some groups are having. I have gotten through several short books lately but they weren't very memorable. I do look at Facebook occasionally, and most of my contacts have similar political views to me, but there are some relatives who are pretty scary. The thing I dislike most about Facebook though isn't the politics but the fake sincerity. Like someone has a touching post about cancer, and as I read it I realize it's just a copy/paste of something going around. Or something about honoring your mom, or whatever. People should write what they really think, not just copy. It reminds me of chain letters with a sort of blackmail. ("If you are really my friend, copy this and tell me what you like about me") I personally refuse to do anything like recopy, share, etc.

We used an independent insurance broker to help us sift through all the various packages available. The one we chose was not even his first recommendation ... mostly because it was relatively new to our market and he didn't have a lot of experience with it. But based on our preferred doctors / hospital being in network AND coverage available in Texas and Tennessee (where we have family, so travel there with some frequency ... or did before COVID19), it was the right plan for us. Very happy with it.
@ NancyJ .... hope the consulting assignments work out. I have a dear friend whose consulting business took a big hit when the pandemic began. But she's starting to get projects again. Still her income for this year will probably be - optimistically - 40% of what it was the year before.
@ Charlotte ... fingers crossed for you! I think your focus on your personal health (mental and physical) at this time will bring many benefits for the rest of your life. And yes ... a door will open ... and you'll be ready for that opportunity.

:) Thank you!

I reported "direct exposure," the definition of which is kinda vague, so I am self-quarantining until a doctor they assign calls me.
Got tested this morning.
We wear masks in the office at all times but take them off to eat and drunk.
If the masks are doing their job I should be OK, but we'll see.
I feel find. Feel like I have mild cold symptoms, but that could be psychosomatic.
Seems like having us all in the office when we can work from home is unnecessarily reckless, but not my call.

Us older 20s-30s millennial are "old, boring, and married", it's those 21-24 GenZ partiers we need to focus on! Lol.
I kid, I kid.
Here in Oregon we have mandatory indoor facemasks AND mandatory outdoor facemasks while you cannot maintain 6' of social distancing. I'm lucky to live in a state, which while still 'spiking' like the rest of the US, is still relatively small in case numbers. I now know 1 person who has COVID, they are almost asymptomatic- with only their nose feeling "off". They only got a test because someone they know got it. I did have a really hard COVID-moment, visiting my dad on a "drop by" since my mom is out of town, staying 6 ft away, and not being able to hug him :(
Oregon is also a tough place right now because of the "federal policing" going on in Portland. I don't live there, but it's super close to home for me, I know many live there, and have been staying/visiting there throughout my entire life. It's crazy to see your people getting brutalized, the downtown is boarded up due to pandemic, and and all of it on display and national news being taken in different directions by different agendas. Watching journalists and "lookeyloos" blame, slander, and Portlander's for what is going on-everyone has an opinion has been tough. It's getting harder and harder to "not read the comments" when everything is about your hometown.

Us older 20s-30s millennial are "old, boring, and married", it's those 21-24 GenZ partiers we need to focus on! Lol.
I kid, I kid.
Here in Orego..."
I would also argue in their defense, even though I know you're joking, that these people have all been forced back to work too soon. So I think that is a lot of it. And when you have to work you start to feel like if you have to be out there anyway, why not be out there actually doing something you enjoy :(
Man, not being able to hug your dad, that's so sad!
Omg, that shit in Portland is legit scary. Totally insane. Like we are back in the 60s.
You have GOT to stay outta those comments, they are full of total racist garbage most of the time. No matter the topic, always some racist garbage. At least, that is the case for my local news outlet comments section.

I have friends and family that live in Portland and the false assumptions and portrayals just break my heart. It's another thing I don't understand. I don't understand the need for federal forces.

Keep us updated! I have a friend in my IRL book club who has been tested a couple time and the most recent time her Dr wonders if it was just anxiety and stress getting to her. She has mentioned to us that she is not fine. Luckily her tests have come back negative but it shows how impactful our mind can be.

Will do... and yes, I relate to your friend. I think the stress of not knowing if my coworker is sick, when we were waiting for the test results, was making me feel sick. Ugh, it's so frustrating!

Oh, yikes, Meli! Sure hope your test comes back negative.

Province says schools should be back, as normal, in September. With some measures in place like distancing. But, no masks.
Our premier refuses to make them mandatory (all the while, begging people to wear them anyway). (He's be "strongly encouraging" masks for a while now, but it's obviously not working.)
I don't see how this can work. Schools don't have people to do the extra cleaning and classes in most schools are so overcrowded, I have no idea how they are going to distance.
I don't have kids, but I have a friend who works in a school library and friends who are teachers. Ugh!

Our schools are due to open very soon. No one knows really how schools will manage to be safe and healthy places for kids and teachers. I'm friends with a retired school nurse who says that her nursing friends are very worried.
I will retire right before Labor Day. I'm fortunate to be able to do this, but am looking into a void. I don't really feel free to come and go and see friends and family. I suspect that I'll be reading a lot and just calling friends. I'm so tired of this need to isolate.
Politically, our country is in shambles. I don't like what's happening in Portland at all with the federal troops. And, that Trump is threatening to do this in other cities as well.
I'm sorry to seem so down.

My husband is a teacher, so that has me all stressed too.
But within a single day I will swing from anxiety stricken to acceptance, so it isn't all bad 😂

My bookcases are empty, all the books are packed. I gave away or donated most of my books. I am a heavy library user. My husband, on the other hand, is more attached to his books. So into the boxes they went!
I took the train into NYC yesterday with an empty suitcase to clean out my office space. It was very strange. The train was off-peak but very quiet, the streets are kinda quiet too. Did notice a very large increase in number of people getting around on bicycles. Most people are doing the right thing and wearing masks. Same thing in Asheville, which made us more comfortable with our decision.
So big changes! We are very excited but also terrified.

There is this false perception we are not living our lives and to live our lives, we have to stubbornly proceed as if no pandemic. Or that we can only live our lives if we go back to how it was before. A perception that COVID and politicians imposing restrictions are preventing one from living one's life. In fact, we are each living our lives. Our lives are taking on a different appearance, different habits, different directions for some. Just as happens with births, deaths, marriages, divorce, chronic illness, dementia, car accidents, fires, floods, tornado, hurricane, kids leaving for college, list is endless. We are not following plans made, habits developed, patterns established, but we are living. And that is the key...living.
Once I accepted this - way back in April some time, I felt calmer. Oh of course I still have bad days, anxiety, probably some depression, and certainly am missing some things. BUT, since I accepted that this was the life I am living, so much has improved. I made the decision to revamp my working spaces -- new office at a cheaper rent in a better building when it comes to COVID-19 protections. Improving my home office set up - desk, equipment, software - still a work in progress but it's moving forward. Replacing the awful shades I've been meaning to get rid of in my apartment with new honeycomb blinds. New bath towels. I'm doing some fun jigsaw puzzles. Reading is still not great - between work and Pandemic Distraction, but that's ok. Proust was read!
Of course, I am very lucky that I can control my work environment - I am a solo-practitioner so no employees and no one telling me where to work under what conditions. I also have tons of work with no end in sight. I have a strong good reputation, and don't rely on networking events or in person meetings to get clients. In fact, once I finish a couple of projects in the next months, there will be sufficient press about them within my corner of the real estate world in NYC to guaranty work for years. Once this move is over, I'll be set for some time. And I practice an area of law that is anything but slower due to pandemic. It's the opposite. So yes, I'm very blessed with that.
Today I took a couple of steps to expand the bubble I've kept around myself. A lawyer friend met me for a late lunch at a cafe a block from my apartment. We sat outside under a tree, talked, relaxed, both grateful to be away from our desks and homes. I had a pile of mail for her from the office - she was a subtenant in the same suite and moved out in May but mail still not being forwarded reliably. It gave us the excuse to meet. It was truly delightful in part because it was in a non-commercial area with few people going by.
I also confirmed 3 virtual social events - 2 are fundraisers for Hands Up for Haiti - provides pediatric and other medical services to women and children in Haitian clinic - founded and run by a friend. One of the fundraisers is an evening of rum - drinks, history etc. and the other is learning to cook haitian cuisine. All from your home! It will be interesting. The other event involves Mrs. Maisel - the show and star - and is another fundraising event for a local synagogue. No I'm not Jewish - except by association, LOL - you can't live in NYC, or maybe that is you can't be a lawyer in NYC, without become de facto Jewish.
But I will need to binge watch Mrs. Maisel before then. Life is tough, you know?
These are things I would have participated 'in person'. Now I'm just doing them virtually. We'll see how it goes.
I feel a little like LibraryCin - suddenly I have all these zoom meetups - actually more meetings related to work!
I'm doing more cooking. I'm a terrible housekeeper - next is to find a new cleaning person or company as I've decided I'm retiring my elderly cleaning lady who lives way out in Queens and it is just not safe for her to travel on subway to clean my apartment.
Oh, and I'm finally getting a new sofa. Plan is to actually enter a STORE to pick one out....only stores I've been in since early March are drugstore and grocery... so exciting! I also need to find an open jewelry store as my watch battery died.
How we live our lives has changed, yes, and it isn't going to be the same ever again. There are more hurdles, stress, even exhaustion. But I'm spending more time in Central Park and exploring my neighborhood on walks. Just look at what you have added to your lives, the benefits that accrue to slowing down, the advantages of the increased intimacy of your days. I certainly haven't done all the purging and stuff so many took on - no time for it. But I still managed to improve my environment and continue to do so.
Next up after the new sofa: putting up my Christmas tree and leaving it up. Why not? I have enough ornaments that I could strip and redecorate it with all new ones 3 times before Christmas! It will also serve as a nice barrier between my couch and my desk... creating work/home distance -- when I get it up and reorganize a bit.

Every day is another horror. I heavily filter what news I follow and catch. Control is critical. Fortunately I'm so busy with work, it's easy to maintain that control and filter. I am also blessed to live in NY where Cuomo is capable of standing up to him. Oh, and those of us in NYC hate him. Did before he became president. He won't try anything here like sending in federal troops.
I'm rambling. We all talk about making it to November 3rd. I'm worried about making it to January 21.

Theresa, you are so right. I went through this when my daughter was diagnosed with cancer last fall. I kept thinking, "This is not my real life". Then I realized, "this is my life now", and also all we ever have is right now. It was a delusion that my life, or anyone's, was supposed to always be predictable. Anything can happen to anyone at any time, fire, flood, illness, accident, etc.
The disturbing thing about the current crisis is that it didn't have to be this way. For illness and natural disaster, it's just bad luck, or maybe it was good luck that nothing bad happened before. with the virus, no matter what, some people were going to get sick in the US and some were going to die and some jobs would have been affected. But so much of the disaster was poor leadership, disorganization, bad information, lack of preparation and supply, etc.

And believe me, I give thanks every day for being in a state run by a strong leader. He is not perfect but damn he is pulling us through. Just as Bloomberg pulled NYC out of the aftermath of 9/11.
Most of the country thinks NY State is this liberal democratic bastion, but it isn't. Most of the state outside NYC is conservative republican. And that until a year or so was reflected in our state politics if not federal voting. Yet somehow Cuomo got everyone to listen and join together. I swear it was in large part because he kept telling us we could do it, that we were strong enough to do what seemed impossible and survive, even come out stronger.



And singing .... Singing lifts my soul, and I know it lifts yours, Amy. Sing to your heart's content.

I think it will be an ongoing issue, how caregivers of all kinds - doctors, nurses, therapists, home health, family caregivers - deal with all the stress and ramifications. It's like much of the country will be suffering from PTSD.

Thank you for sharing these thoughts, Theresa. Very well said and really does put things into perspective.. This is our new normal, and life goes on.
I, too, am blessed ... we were already retired and those pension checks just kept coming, so no interruption in our income. Our "risk averse" financial plan meant we were already almost entirely in a case position with our retirement "investments." We felt a bit foolish for missing some of the last couple of years increases in the stock market, but we knew we had "enough" so why insist on making more? Well ... when the crash came we looked like geniuses!
We've both stayed healthy (so far). We have ample space to be outdoors for a while each day, and parks close by if we want to do a more extensive outdoor experience. In the last month we've expanded our "bubble" to include a couple of friends we know have been appropriately staying at home since early on. We've even gone to a couple of restaurants ... though we're thinking of stopping that again as cases are rising once more.
My one source of anxiety is worry about my brothers, who live in Tennessee and Texas. In my worse moments I fear I many never see them in person again. But I remind myself that things will surely change ... again ... and again. And we still have plans to see our nephew graduate from college next May and be commissioned as a Lieutenant in the Army. And in the meantime ... there's zoom!

This breaks my heart ... to see my country for which my husband was so severely wounded in Vietnam (and for which I also served in the US Army reserve) destroyed by that buffoon who was elected because so many people failed to vote for his opponent. I think many people just stayed away because they weren't fully in her corner, and didn't believe the orange man could pull it off.
We hear over and over that every vote matters.
Well, EVERY NON-vote matters, too! Clearly the Orange man's supporters know this, or they wouldn't be trying so hard to restrict the number of votes/voters.

This, most definitely this.
Hopefully people realize anything is possible now. :(
He's certainly taking a play out of Reagan's book. He was also a huge proponent of his fake ass "law and order" bullshit. So disheartening.

I second this!! These video's are SO FUNNY! And also include a tiny bit of singing and piano playing for those inclined.
I think part of the recent tough-ness for me at least was everything- COVID, politics, whatnot was an arms length away (which yes, I know is very privileged). I am able to engage in the news, read, vote, and educate myself, or choose to put the news on pause for myself- but it definitely felt a little more removed. Now everything is closing in on my bubble- friends of friends getting COVID, ALL the politics in my backyard, everything feels like it is closing in. I'm much less inclined to put the news on the backburner right now since so much of it is happening locally.
Still trying to remember the "what we can control" vs "what we cannot control" difference.
On the bright side, I have written now over 15 rounds of trivia, since our trivia group is still doing Zoom sessions weekly, with member-written rounds. I'm impressed weekly with the creativity of my friends, and appreciate the distraction, and the chance to exercise the brain a bit. Perhaps a PBT Trivia night would be fun.

Joi wrote: "Still trying to remember the "what we can control" vs "what we cannot control" difference."
Yeah, I am up and down with this daily, or sometimes multiple times in the day. I keep reminding myself of the difference.
Very productive on your trivia, that's something! I've never done trivia nights but it sounds like a blast.


Awww, that is so cute!
I am intrigued by this animal crossing, but I don't have the budget for a Nintendo Switch right now.

That makes me smile so much! I love the gnomes. I only have 4 of the colors, though.
Without Animal Crossing, I wouldn't survive right now. It has literally kept me from giving in to so many of my mental illness symptoms including suicidal ideation.
I told my therapist yesterday that my husband thinks the US is on the brink of a Civil War and if that happens, I don't know how I'm going to survive or deal with that. I'm having a hard enough time dealing with everything going on right now. Ever since the Orange Cheeto was elected, my nerves have been frayed and my mental health has been declining. I just hope we will all come through this healthy and alive.

@Becky-Good luck on your new adventure in Grad School! how exciting. What is that you are studying/researching and what is the end goal for career?
@ Charlotte-hang tight! The right opportunity will pop up when you least expect!
@ Meli-I hope you are well and safe! I am thinking of you!
@ Holly, Trumps terrible behavior has had a really bad effect on my state of mind. When you look at what he is doing in Portland it reminds me of Hitler.
@ Shelly-Yea! A new adventure for you, how exciting. Do you have family in Ashville, or did you choose it for a different reason?
I actually had a lovely week camping with my husband, daughter, son from another mother (daughters bff) and our dog, who by the way is doing much better! She has a long bout of physical therapy starting this week, but I think all will work out well and she will be walking normally by summers end.
I am trying to keep my anxiety and depression in check, harder some days. Hugs to everyone

Ups and Downs like you all, and yesterday I could have just eliminated entirely.... But this morning I am crazy upset over a cluster of cases in Chatham MA on the cape, where a bunch of folks in the restaurant industry decided to have a maskless large outdoor party, where now at least 10 people have tested positive, and more than one restaurant is closed, and employees are quarantining, Do you know how many families and people are exposed by this stupidity? I am beyond upset! I hope everyone exposed and their exposed folks are taking this seriously. I could cry. I am hoping that this was a wakeup call that folks take seriously.

But, I will be safely in quarantine until 8/1 just in case, so I am relieved about that.
Amy - the COVID parties are incomprehensible.
I cannot wrap my head around what people are thinking. Terribly and unnecessarily reckless.


I feel like all of this just proves how America is a "me-first" country. (Some) People don't want to masks because they don't take the consideration of the community around them, and don't feel like it's "my problem" to make sure "someone else doesn't get COVID". Masks have now been politicized. Civil rights have now been politicized. Other countries have PROVED that its possible to flatten the curve. I honestly feel embarrassed to be American right now. I wonder if hubby would consider moving to South Korea, lol.
My work is in a different city and it's like night and day. All my friends at home are on the same mindset as me, and many of my coworkers don't. I actually spoke with someone today who thinks the federal troops in Portland is a good thing, and I literally had to walk away. I want to do my due diligence of standing my ground, helping to educate others, but some people just don't listen. And then I feel guilty about not being able to get through to them.
Sorry to be a Debbie Downer. On the bright side, it's FriYay, and the weekend is almost here. I'm thinking a winery trip to a couple socially distanced vineyards might be in store for tomorrow, because WE DESERVE IT, LADIES (and gentlemen).

And don't waive a lawyer's letter in my face as your first round of defense. I mean, that's absolutely a red flag that you don't have a real problem. If you had a real problem, you would have contacted management to discuss the situation months ago when the law was put in effect. BTW- did you know that there are people buying these supposed medical exemption cards from wearing a mask? Totally fake, a total scam, no such thing exists.
Sad state we have come to, isn't it. On the up side, Gov. Cuomo in todays briefing mentioned that yesterday 37 businesses were sited for failure to enforce mask wearing and social distancing -- hefty fines and suspension of liquour licenses. He's all over the state and local police to enforce the law against businesses not enforcing. Remember businesses have the legal right not to serve or allow in anyone who violates the rules set for being in their establishment.
@ Meli - great news on the test!
@ Joanna - glad you had such a lovely time and that Lola is on the mend. Is her Cone of Shame retired?
I'm calling it quits for the day. Have some in person banking to do, need to mail somethings, and o joy o rapture, have a book to pick up at a local indie store that is open for limited browsing too! How many books do you think I will come home with?
It's also next door to my favorite homemade chocolate shop - which is open! AND I might just find a table outside the diner and have myself a diner breakfast for late lunch.
I feel like I'm on vacation!


Hubby was trying to convince me to request a transfer to Japan, since I work for a Japanese company and speak Japanese if Trump gets re-elected.
Desperately don't want to be in this country right now.
My home state just hit the highest numbers for COVID infections since we were in quarantine.
Cuomo taking a tough stance across tbe board, and liquor licenses have been suspended on bars and venues not following strict protocols. Like so many places, the 20-somethings gather to socialize unmasked in close proximity. Were we all that stupid at that age?
I made my weekly visit to my office today. A new food venue opened but too many favorites have disappeared for good, including my favorite halal truck and my favorite Theater District restaurant, Daniela's. It relied entirely on tourists and theater patrons, which are not returning for a long time.
Glad to be home and sheltering. Too many people in Penn Station and on streets nearby not wearing masks properly or at all. I know it is hot, I was sweating behind mine, but clothes are hot too and you wear those. #wearaf*ckingmask!
But some good things too...representing dear friends buying a second home that brings them closer to NYC after years too far for easy visiting. Three new jigsaw puzzles arrived. I finished a 1000 piece Edward Gorey Book Covers puzzle in 2 days...loved it! https://www.pomegranate.com/aa1043.html
My Medicare approval came through today - I turn 65 next month and cannot wait to stop dealing with private insurance and all the political shenanigans on ACA. And my PPE relief from CARESact was approved finally.
Next up: renewing drivers license and various ID than just happen to expire during a pandemic. And it is time to renew my license to practice law.
What's up with all of you?