White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo -- 3.5 stars (round up to 4)

[Nicole R]

White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo
3.5 (round up to 4)

I had mixed feelings when I picked up this book. At a time when race is under perhaps the most powerful microscope during my adult life, did I really need to be reading a book by a White person? Shouldn't I be focusing on Black voices about their Black experience?

DiAngela addressed this (pretty obvious) conflict in the introduction to the book: "In speaking as a white person to a primarily white audience, I am yet again centering white people and the white voice. I have not found a way around this dilemma, for as an insider I can speak to the white experience in ways that may be harder to deny. . . . I would never suggestion that mine is the only voice that should be heard, only that it is one of the many pieces needed to solve the overall puzzle."

With her acknowledgement that she also sees the conflict and the role she sees her voice playing, I forged ahead with slightly less apprehension. And I am glad I did.

The number one take-away from this books for me was her repeated statement that White people spend so much time and energy denying that we are racist that takes away from the time and energy we have to do something about it. DiAngelo starts from the premise that all White people are racist, we grew up and were molded by a society that has institutionalized racism so there is no way that we aren't, but that acknowledging your racism does not make you a bad person. Good people with good intentions can also say/do things that are based on racist premises. Being open to that recognition and willing to engage in self-reflection and change are positive attributes that come from this acknowledgement.

White people confronted by their own racist actions immediately go on the defensive because being called "racist" is perceived as being the worst possible affront. But that defensiveness is also what prevents us from really changing our actions. And this message hit close to home. I recognize in myself that I have been defensive or shut down or claimed to be misunderstood when confronted with my own problematic language/actions. And, I do not INTEND to do or say racist things. And most people, even the people affected by my words, likely do not think I am a horrible racist who intentionally goes around being mean and hateful. But how can I change if I don't know what the problems are and really reflect on why what I did/said was offensive, why that is a problem, and how I can change.

This book made me commit to changing my reactions to racially charged confrontations. I am sure I will continue to make many mistakes, but I want to be better. I also would like to be more comfortable highlighting problematic language/actions in other White people. But, that is honestly terrifying! It may take a bit for me to work up to that. But, as the author said, "interrupting racism takes courage and intentionality; the interruption is by definition not passive or complacent."

Having finished the book, I do think this particular message to White people—a classification of which I identify—came across better from a White author. At least, speaking for myself, I believe I was more receptive of the criticism. And that is probably something I need to work on as well...