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Quarantine Tuesday Reading Kaffeeklatsch 6/16/2020
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"Papa Cuomo" scared me when he said that-LoL!Wee hours of the morning here too, sun is just rising and it looks like we will have another beautiful day.
This past week was a tough one-first off watching the maps go from, "Ok, we are getting there" back to "S---! " Only NY is showing progress-Perhaps Papa Cuomo needs a bigger stage.
Secondly, my husband and his hair. He was like a frickin kid at Christmas when he saw the barbershops were opening. My daughter and I told him, not to even think about it. Well, he not only thought about, he went yesterday and got his haircut. I would like to say I had handled it with diplomacy-but that would be a lie. I am pretty sure the neighbors all got an ear full of my rage yesterday. My daughter, now she's the diplomat-She just gave him a dirty look and went to her room. I think that bothered him more than my tantrum.
Well on the brighter side. Tomorrow I am meeting some of the gals that I volunteer at the library with for a picnic (with proper social distance). Behind our library there is a lovely hill and wooded area. Although our parks are now open, none of us feels comfortable going to any of them because of the lack of masks and social distancing. We will all bring our own lunch, a chair and smiles. For me, this is a primer to a Bridal Shower being held on Sunday. Although it is being held out doors, and is small in scope, I am still having anxiety about attending. I will give it my best shot, but if my comfort level is not satisfied, I know I will make it a short visit.
Michigan State Parks are also opening this week for camping. We opened up our trailer to get it ready for a trip in July. Our first trip was cancelled-fingers crossed this next planned trip happens.
Joanne wrote: "I would like to say I had handled it with diplomacy-but that would be a lie. I am pretty sure the neighbors all got an ear full of my rage yesterday. My daughter, now she's the diplomat-She just gave him a dirty look and went to her room. I think that bothered him more than my tantrum."Haha, I have had some moments, but breath wasted on people I don't even really care about so I stopped. Everyone else close to me (family and friends) have remained diligent in their isolation.
Slowly doing some normal things, like a small cookout with another couple, a friend here and there stopping by, meeting with book club outside at an appropriate distance. The rest of my city has basically gone back to like as usual.
I live across the street from a pool and it's open and packed daily. Lots of people at the park.
Thrilled summer is here! 2 more weeks and I am on vacation for 2 weeks, so counting down to that. Gonna laze around and read mostly.
Working my way through A Tribe Called Quest's catalogue while reading Go Ahead in the Rain: Notes to a Tribe Called Quest by Hanif Abdurraqib which gives me wonderful summer vibes.
My daughter just posted this encouraging news ( just to clarify-she's not the author-just the AP poster on her paper)https://apnews.com/89d963958b042cc921...
Joanne wrote: "My daughter just posted this encouraging news ( just to clarify-she's not the author-just the AP poster on her paper)https://apnews.com/89d963958b042cc921......"
I saw this in my morning news feed. That's really good news.
I had to drop something off for my Mom at her assisted living facility today. They have been very vigilant and didn't have a single case of Covid up to 2 weeks ago and that one needed a retest but in the meantime everyone was quarantined to their rooms. They lifted the quarantine pretty quickly so maybe it was a false negative. They have been having all meals in their rooms but have also been allowed to go outside, keep social distance and wear masks. So I have seen Mom outside from time to time when I bring her some supplies like today. I never stay, I never sit down but we get to exchange news.
Wellllll, today she wasn't outside but there was a little group of three and what I saw there made me say "this is why the spread of this virus is so terrible in AL and Nursing facilities." And "no wonder the staff are so vigilant". The three of them were wearing masks as neck and chin guards rather then nose and mouth covers! AND they have to lean in toward the other person to hear because they are either not wearing their hearing aids or won't get tested! You have to shake your head and laugh or its just too frustrating. Wear. Your. Mask! Of course then they can't see to read the lips either so they'll be shouting through the masks anyway!
Joanne wrote: "My daughter just posted this encouraging news ( just to clarify-she's not the author-just the AP poster on her paper)https://apnews.com/89d963958b042cc921......"
I heard about that. Of course steroids have some serious side effects for many. But that is pretty much true of any treatment, isn't it.
This is all so reminiscent of MASH units and medicine during war where necessity, nay desperation, leads to innovation and cures.
@BarbaraM - oh that scene was priceless! Sad but priceless.@Joanne and others - we cannot govern others but only ourselves. If you are wearing your mask, using sanitizer, and keeping distance, you are as safe as you can probably be. If others want to be stupid that is their business and you don't have to go close to them.
Being in NYC I have to adapt to some level of comfort to function. If I am in a confined area like the bus and someone gets on without a mask and does not put one on immediately (masks are required on buses), I hand the person one of the spare paper masks I now carry for this purpose. If they still won't wear one, I get off at next stop as too hard to move away and too confined an area to keep distance.
But I have put faith in my own protective measures...mask, distance, sanitizer. I keep reminding myself that those measures have kept my sister the nurses aide in a hospital, safe for months...actually she does not have luxury of social distance...and they will work for me.
I encourage taking steps to get out...slowly, carefully ... and just stay out of crowds.
After reading all the precautions my normal hair place is putting into place I decided to make an appointment for a hair cut, though they can't get me in until July. If I get there and don't feel safe I will leave. I had to take my fiance to have a medical test done yesterday and two patients in the waiting area were wearing their masks below their noses, made me annoyed and we made sure to stay as far away from them as possible.
Theresa wrote: "we cannot govern others but only ourselves. If you are wearing your mask, using sanitizer, and keeping distance, you are as safe as you can probably be. If others want to be stupid that is their business and you don't have to go close to them."Yep, this is absolutely right!
The more I keep that in the front of my mind the better.
Meli wrote: "meeting with book club outside at an appropriate distance...."I love this idea! Might be a little tricky planning when one doesn't know what the weather will be like, though... hmmm...
Barbara M wrote: " The three of them were wearing masks as neck and chin guards rather then nose and mouth covers! AND they have to lean in toward the other person to hear because they are either not wearing their hearing aids or won't get tested! You have to shake your head and laugh or its just too frustrating. Wear. Your. Mask! Of course then they can't see to read the lips either so they'll be shouting through the masks anyway..."Oh no! :-( I had not thought about that...
LibraryCin wrote: "Meli wrote: "meeting with book club outside at an appropriate distance...."I love this idea! Might be a little tricky planning when one doesn't know what the weather will be like, though... hmmm..."
We were lucky since our weather has been consistently nice for the last 2 weeks. But, yeah, gotta plan ahead!
Rachel N. wrote: "I had to take my fiance to have a medical test done yesterday and two patients in the waiting area were wearing their masks below their noses, made me annoyed and we made sure to stay as far away from them as possible..."It's funny someone working there didn't say anything. :-( Or was it just too busy for them to notice?
This week is my week to feel a bit down...My old hometown, Jacksonville, FL, is struggling for many reasons. The RNC is going to be there and all of my friends are scared as to what that is going to mean. There has already been violent protests. They are very conservative and in 2016, a chapter of the KKK made their presence known.
They've opened bars an restaurants there, only to have to close a handful, blocks from where my family lives, because of employees and patrons testing positive. Cases there are starting to spike and they haven't even gotten the influx of people that they are expecting from the RNC.
I asked my husband if he was as happy as I was to move to WA when we did. WA is holding steady although my husband says that he is one of the only ones to wear a mask at the store.
I don't want to turn this political but I've been struggling with my white fragility and my identity as well. Coming from the South we've romanticized a dark period of American history and became very proud of our confederate ancestors. I'm uncomfortable but I'm leaning into it because recognize that is a sign of change in me. I've been doing research and reading to figure out next steps for how I can help others. I've gotten more books on racism and participated in the support Black authors movement this week and used all of my birthday gift card money on books by Black authors. I'm kind of excited by some of the books I've found. :)
Charlotte wrote: "I don't want to turn this political but I've been struggling with my white fragility"I am sorry to hear you are feeling down, but this is very relatable.
I do not think facing your own demons in light of current events is political, it's humane.
And, for what it's worth, I think all the things you are doing are a step in the right direction.
A lot of white people are feeling similar feelings.
The most important thing is we face this with the intention to truly change and not for the purpose of feeling better. Because once people feel better they will feel less urgency to continue down an anti-racist path.
You will make mistakes through the process (we all do / will), the important thing is to continue being open to feeling uncomfortable, reflect, grow, rinse, repeat!
Charlotte wrote: "This week is my week to feel a bit down...My old hometown, Jacksonville, FL, is struggling for many reasons. The RNC is going to be there and all of my friends are scared as to what that is going..."
Great use of your birthday money!! I'm listening to Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestor right now and it is fantastic. I would like to buy the book and delve more into the work of tackling my own white privilege. It is difficult and uncomfortable but important.
Meli wrote: "I am sorry to hear you are feeling down, but this is very relatable.I do not think facing your own demons in light of current events is political, it's humane.
And, for what it's worth, I think all the things you are doing are a step in the right direction...."
Thank you :)
Jen K wrote: "Great use of your birthday money!! I'm listening to Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestor right now and it is fantastic. I would like to buy the book and delve more into the work of tackling my own white privilege. It is difficult and uncomfortable but important...."
Nice! I just finished White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism ... it was so eye opening. I listened to it and then got the book so that I could go back through it. I haven't figured out how to write a review for it yet.
I just purchased Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America and I'm probably going to get Ibram X. Kendi other book too. I already own Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People About Race and now I need to read it.
Charlotte wrote: "I just purchased Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America and I'm probably going to get Ibram X. Kendi other book too. I already own Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People About Race and now I need to read it."I am reading this now... I read the YA "remixed" version by Jason Reynolds first. This is certainly much more dense, and I was struggling with some of the religious ideology / racial theory, but I am working my way through.
I would recommend Thick: And Other Essays. I read this earlier this year and it is essays from a Black feminist perspective, very illuminating. Tressie McMillian Cottom is brilliant.
Charlotte wrote: "Meli wrote: "I am sorry to hear you are feeling down, but this is very relatable.I do not think facing your own demons in light of current events is political, it's humane.
And, for what it's wor..."
Excellent list! I read White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism last year and it was so powerful. I constantly think about her chapter on white women's tears. Layla F. Saad quotes her often in her book.
Your other two are also on my list so I look forward to reading your reviews. It is difficult to review books that make a personal impact.
Jen K wrote: "Charlotte wrote: "Meli wrote: "I am sorry to hear you are feeling down, but this is very relatable.I do not think facing your own demons in light of current events is political, it's humane.
And,..."
I will add Layla F. Saad to my reading list, thank you!
It is definitely hard to review these books. Beginning: "READ THIS BOOK," ending: "essential reading." 🤣
@Charlotte-first I feel terrible for anyone who lives in or near Jacksonville-my heart goes out to your friends and family. I saw today where 16 women went to a party at a bar/restaurant and 15 of them have now tested positive. WHAT? is that true>As far as all other things you brought up-These are things you need to put into your blog-yes? heart felt and honest!
Joanne wrote: "@Charlotte-first I feel terrible for anyone who lives in or near Jacksonville-my heart goes out to your friends and family. I saw today where 16 women went to a party at a bar/restaurant and 15 of ..."From what I've heard, it's very true. It's at the Beaches. The 3 bars that they are talking about are all walking distance from each other. It's common place for a night on the town to consist of going from one to another. I've done it more times than I can count. I'm friends with/grew up with the owner of one of the bars in question. I was there just over a year ago and it was wall to wall people, I'm sure more people are going to test positive before it's all over. A good friend works at one of the bars in question and I went to college with one of the owners. Another bar I heard they had all 7 of the employees that worked that night test positive. A local dive sub shop has also closed for testing and cleaning after one of the employees tested positive after her friend was positive. It's a really small community. It's on a barrier island that is only about 1.5 miles wide at the widest part and about 5 miles in length... and almost of my family on my dad's side lives there, in addition to many, many friends.
I agree with putting it into my blog... I just haven't figured out the words I want to use yet. I'm going to meet with a life coach/therapist and talk through some of it, early next week.
I've been missing in action for a bit. When not working or lying exhausted on the sofa, or struggling to get to sleep, I'm reading Proust. Nearly there -- 160 pages and most of that I need to read today. But in spite of all that, it's been a tumultuous week:-My developmentally and physically challenged older sister Rose is settling into her new special needs nursing home well, with no emotional fallout. We are relieved and so happy.
-Protests continue unabated in NYC, yet our numbers stay down. They are peaceful, masked, and social distancing observed. They are of course all outdoors. So far NYC is not seeing a spike in its numbers from the protests!
-NYC enters Phase 2 tomorrow -- and I have a haircut scheduled for Tuesday AM!
-On Wednesday I had to go to the bank and combined it with a trip to the office. Well, there are far too many people in Harlem (where the nearest open branch of my bank was) not wearing masks at all or having it only cover their mouths. What got me is this was on overcrowded buses! For some reason the MTA had scaled back the number of buses just as use had increased. The ones that really got me were the young mothers with children and no masks on any of them.
-That day, I braved the subway for the first time in months. At 8 PM, Penn Station and the subway were deserted (my office is next to Penn Station and I cut through there to get the subway). Clean for sure, and deserted. Kind of eerie to be honest.
Lastly, but by no means least, Gov. Cuomo gave his final daily press conference on Friday - the 111th. It was emotional, for him and for us. Don't laugh but I dressed up for it, even put jewelry on. He showed at the end an amazing video that I link here. Two things to note: it starts in B&W and ends in color, and watch to the very end, and remember that every single day at the start of his press conferences he would tell us what day of the week it was. Seems like a small thing, but it was something we all struggled with and it was important.
Here it is: this clip starts towards end of his conference and flows into the video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNGVu....
You got a lot going on, Theresa! I'm glad your sister is settling in well, and that you can finally get a haircut, but sucks you are so busy. Regarding masks, basically no one wearing them in Indiana at all if they aren't required. I thought the anti-masker thing was a Trump supporter thing, but someone I know and thought was mindful and smart does not wear a mask anywhere unless it is required. I was shocked. My mom also didn't know and had been meeting up with her and her kids periodically so she was pissed when she found out. The girl's response? "To each their own."
Theresa wrote: "I've been missing in action for a bit. When not working or lying exhausted on the sofa, or struggling to get to sleep, I'm reading Proust. Nearly there -- 160 pages and most of that I need to read ..."I am very happy about your sister! You still have many things going on, of course, but that is one less thing for you to be stressed about.
Meli wrote: "You got a lot going on, Theresa! I'm glad your sister is settling in well, and that you can finally get a haircut, but sucks you are so busy. Regarding masks, basically no one wearing them in Ind..."
Not at all. I live in MA which hasn't had their electoral college vote go to a Republican since Ronald Reagan, and I see plenty of Democrats here who hate wearing masks. (not that I don't know any Republicans--I have friends of both ilks and also people like me who are unenrolled). I know Republicans who are very good about wearing masks.
I don't think that everything comes down to politics. I wear masks in stores because it's the law and to make others feel comfortable even though I really am not worried about getting it, but I hate, hate, hate wearing them. I also don't like sleeping with anything over my nose and mouth even though my husband and one of my kids will sleep that way sometimes in the winter.
On the mask thing on the buses -- it's required that masks be worn - but who is going to police it? It's really an honor thing. In truth it's probably only about 10% of the people who aren't wearing masks or improperly wearing them. And FYI I did not get on the crowded buses, I waited even though it ate up a lot of time, until less crowded ones came along. In truth we can only police ourselves.
Karin wrote: "Meli wrote: "You got a lot going on, Theresa! I'm glad your sister is settling in well, and that you can finally get a haircut, but sucks you are so busy. Regarding masks, basically no one wearin..."
Masks aren't political, but I have seen it being politicized or the act of not wearing it made to be a political act which is why I mentioned Trumpers (not republicans, but staunch Trump supporters specifically). There is a lot of rhetoric about it impinging on their freedom by enforcing it and even stores that say they won't allow them.
AMC movie theater originally was saying they wouldn't require it because they didn't want to be political and I was like "THIS IS NOT POLITICAL! THIS IS A HEALTH ISSUE!"
So I agree, it isn't political for me, but seems to be viewed that way by others for some reason.
Meli wrote: "Karin wrote: "Meli wrote: "You got a lot going on, Theresa! I'm glad your sister is settling in well, and that you can finally get a haircut, but sucks you are so busy. Regarding masks, basically..."
Of course, but I don't bother reading politics into why people I see not wearing masks.
Truth be told, in election years I get "depressed" by politics--not literally, but it would ruin all my enjoyment in life if I let it consume my life--and since my husband follows it very closely, I hear plenty already.
Karin wrote: "Meli wrote: "Karin wrote: "Meli wrote: "You got a lot going on, Theresa! I'm glad your sister is settling in well, and that you can finally get a haircut, but sucks you are so busy. Regarding mas..."
Unfortunately, at least around me, I don't have to do the reading into it because they are very vocal about why they won't wear masks unless required. But otherwise, each individual has to decide for themselves what they feel safe doing or not doing.
I hear ya on being "depressed." I feel the same except I haven't learned my lesson yet. I will take a day off and be right back in it, a glutton for punishment.
Meli wrote: "Karin wrote: "Meli wrote: "Karin wrote: "Meli wrote: "You got a lot going on, Theresa! I'm glad your sister is settling in well, and that you can finally get a haircut, but sucks you are so busy. ..."
That's why I switched to Protonmail--I don't get stuck on Yahoo news when I sign out and it has helped me immeasurably--I only check my old email once every week or two.
It's not just politics--news is so negative most of the time. I just try to know the basics and to only dig if I really NEED to know more.
Karin wrote: "Meli wrote: "Karin wrote: "Meli wrote: "Karin wrote: "Meli wrote: "You got a lot going on, Theresa! I'm glad your sister is settling in well, and that you can finally get a haircut, but sucks you a..."Yeah, I am not getting anything out of being sucked into a 24 hour news cycle. I am not learning anything new, I am not gaining new insights. It just causes me to be more anxious!
Meli wrote: "Masks aren't political, but I have seen it being politicized or the act of not wearing it made to be a political act..."I think where it becomes political is when people start yelling about "my rights and freedoms", "no one will make me wear a mask", etc. etc.
There are doctors in my city calling on the province to mandate it for indoor spaces, public transit and outdoor crowds, but our premier has outright said he won't do it. :-(
Oh, and like someone mentioned above, I also have a friend who is very smart, generally very scientific. She doesn't see the benefit in requiring masks because not everyone wears them properly, they fling them off (in parking lots), etc. I feel like that's throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Just because some don't do it properly shouldn't be the reason it's not required. (In my opinion.)
LibraryCin wrote: "Meli wrote: "Masks aren't political, but I have seen it being politicized or the act of not wearing it made to be a political act..."I think where it becomes political is when people start yellin..."
Perhaps, although kids say that to their parents and about school teachers as well and I'm not sure if that's always political per se or just rebelling against any kind of authority. Or, as one of my nephews once told my sister, when he was very little, "you're not the boss of me!"
Karin wrote: "I'm not sure if that's always political per se or just rebelling against any kind of authority...."Good point!
Thanks for posting the link to the video, Theresa! Just think if we had a president who could use that tone to inspire and thank people for what they do. Cuomo certainly has his rough side but his dedication and concern were absolutely sincere through this whole thing. That's what being a "cheerleader for the country" should look like, not pretending everything is fine.I find masks uncomfortable, especially now that it is warm. But too bad, seat belts aren't always comfortable either (and there were the same complaints when they were new about the state taking away people's freedoms.) More and more studies show how effective masks are. I am lucky to live in a quiet part of town where I can walk outside without a mask and if I see anyone I can stay far enough away. So I use the masks for going into stores for a relatively short time. I do find it a good reminder not to touch my face or to get into any extraneous conversations!
LibraryCin wrote: "Oh, and like someone mentioned above, I also have a friend who is very smart, generally very scientific. She doesn't see the benefit in requiring masks because not everyone wears them properly, the..."Also, I think the more people aren't wearing masks, the more it encourages others to not wear them. People are feeling like they don't need to as they see less and less people wearing them.
Theresa wrote: "Here it is: this clip starts towards end of his conference and flows into the video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNGVu....
..."
Thank you so much for that link, Theresa. I was in tears. What a leader!
So glad to hear your sister is settling in well in her new environment.
Book Concierge wrote: "Thank you so much for that link, Theresa. I was in tears. What a leader!.."This isn't the first time Cuomo has shown leadership -- standing up against Fracking in NYS is an example -- and he showed it when he was NY AG, but damn if he doesn't prove all those adages about greatness being thrust upon one and a true leader appears when you need one.
And he's not going to rest on his laurels. He's already pushing forward infrastructure plans as stimulous programs, plans that have been stagnating for years, even decades. Cuomo understands about using the 'good will' generated from a leadership success into long term improvements and projects needing the support of the masses. Not just basking in glory and taking to the lecture circuit or writing a best seller.
Meli wrote: "Also, I think the more people aren't wearing masks, the more it encourages others to not wear them. People are feeling like they don't need to as they see less and less people wearing them...."I'm sure your right about that. :-(
Play Book Tag
Books mentioned in this topic
White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism (other topics)Thick: And Other Essays (other topics)
White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism (other topics)
Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America (other topics)
Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People About Race (other topics)
More...
Authors mentioned in this topic
Layla F. Saad (other topics)Ibram X. Kendi (other topics)
Not sure where to start or what I want to say so I am leaving you with this: Papa Cuomo at his press conference today said to all those restaurant and bar owners allowing crowds to linger outside their establishments in violation of many laws both COVID and other: 'Don't make me come down there!"