Looking for some input and thoughts on a first chapter...

[S.A.]

Hi folks,
S.A. Chapman here. I’m working on a few different novels and graphic novels at the moment. I recently finished the first chapter of a parallel novel to Exhumation: An Epic of Existentia and I’m hoping for some feedback if that’s ok.

You can catch me on Wattpad at:
https://www.wattpad.com/user/sachapman
If you think it’s better to post the text in the feed, let me know.

I really appreciate any feedback and input. It helps me prioritize my writing time.

[Keegan]

Hello, S.A. Chapman:

I thought I'd give your chapter a read. I would say your style of writing tends to favor more of a deep-fantasy or deep-sci-fi (and by 'deep' I mean immersive in a different world) feel in that it is extremely descriptive. I liked the description; it helped the scenes and setting come to life. I did find the storyline a bit confusing. It seemed like nearly every name of the physical objects referenced in the dialogue was clearly fictional and, as a reader, that lessened the credibility of the world that you'd just worked so hard with your description to make real.

If it were me, I'd work on the dialogue and explanation of the storyline. I can definitely see that you are trying to make it mysterious but maybe interspersing some handholds of "this is what is going on" would help it read easier. Just my two cents. Take it or leave it.

[S.A.]

Hi Keegan,

Thanks for reading. With your two cents of constructive input I can make a dollar of improvement. I must admit that I do struggle at times bridging that gap between description and reader engagement. I have tried to build a new world, and I suppose the more books that are read, the more familiar the reader will become. A lot of the exposition, maps, glossaries were covered in the first novel. I do find it hard to comprehend the jarring nature of reading my stuff, because I wrote it so I’m too familiar with it - I can’t reach the objective distance. However, I am trying my best. Thanks very much for reading it, I never thought anyone would get around to it :-)